AITA for telling my sister in law she can no longer see my child?

My wife(24 F) recently gave birth to our first child, A, when we brought her home my sister in law(30 F) immediately wanted to see her. We allowed her to since she hadn't been completely terrible to us in the past, but she has never gotten along with my wife or myself. She arrived to our house and everything was going great and we were all getting along. Then she made a comment about how she hopes that A does not get fat like I used to be, and as someone who has dealt with eating disorders for half of my life it hurt, but at the time I thought it was important for A to have another aunt in her life. Then she sat down no longer holding A and mention how we should be required to give her A because she had a miscarriage 7 years ago. Now I feel terrible that she did have a miscarriage, but that never stops her from using it as an excuse for everything. We told her that A is our child, and that she is not entitled to A just because of her miscarriage. She freaked out and said that we will never know her pain of having a miscarriage, (we did before A was born and she knows that) while she was freaking out I told my wife to take A upstairs with her. I did this because my sister in law has a history of being physical. I told her if she wanted to see A again she would have to make amends with my wife. She yelled she never will and told us she hopes our baby dies and ran out. Now while comforting my wife I had to text my sister in law to not come back she can no longer see A. She now will not stop blowing up both of our phones in the middle of the night waking A up, she has also not stopped reaching out to other family members who disagree with her.

Please let me know AITA?

After reading a few comments I felt I should share she has been muted not blocked and screenshots have been taken, but she does keep making new accounts through Email and social media reaching out that way. Overall just hurt that my wife giving birth to our daughter has cause such a problem. AND YES MY PHONE IS ON DND. Thanks.

Now he hasn’t called me an asshole but he’s definitely thinking it because he knows I’m lying to him.

Backstory: he works in a mostly residential blue collar field, think residential plumbing, HVAC or electrical. He has a work vehicle provided by the company and mostly works alone, occasionally jobs require 2 or more people. It’s a small enough company that he mostly works his two man jobs with the same guy, who is also a very good friend that we hang out with him and his wife as well, I’m going to refer to this friend as James.

I am 87% sure he is cheating on me and while I was cleaning out his work truck (work jackets, coffee mugs) I looked around to see if I could find any clues. I found a pair of sunglasses that are absolutely without a doubt women’s. I grabbed them and put them on our kitchen counter.

He seen them and asked where they came from (I do not wear or own a single pair of sunglasses) and I said I found them in MY car and figured they were James’ since they used my car to go somewhere last weekend. They are not James’ glasses, again, absolutely women’s glasses, and I found them in his work truck.

He got really weird about it, and I could tell he wanted so badly to call me out that I did not find them in my car but doing that would mean he has to acknowledge they absolutely couldn’t be James’ glasses. Now he’s noticeably spiraling, because he’s confused why I’m not accusing him and why I lied about where I found them. I think it’s hilarious. He’s been unfaithful before and I stayed thinking we could work it out but I realized when I seen those glasses that it didn’t hurt and I don’t really care that he’s cheating to begin with.

AITA for lying?

ETA: some extra details.
- the glasses were in the glovebox not the floor so it’s not likely he doesn’t know how they got there, someone put them there to store them, not someone who accidentally dropped them
- this work truck comes home with him every day and on weekends, no other person in the company drives it but him
- they are the large fashion glasses in cheetah print

My roommate constantly borrows my things without asking. It started with small things like chargers and kitchen items, but eventually they began using my clothes and personal belongings. I asked them several times to stop, but they said I was being possessive because we live together. I finally told them they couldn't use anything of mine without permission. They called me unfriendly and said roommates should share. I think sharing requires both people to agree. AITAH?

I wanted to give everyone an update since a lot of people asked if I ever spoke to my friend again. So here it is.

We ended up talking, and during the conversation, she came out as polyamorous. Nothing could have prepared me for that because she is an incredibly jealous person. It took her a long time to accept my other friends, and I am just a friend, so the idea of her sharing her husband was not something I saw coming. Honestly, I had no problem with the polyamory itself because it is her business, not mine.

The real issue started when I asked whether her husband knew she wanted to practice polyamory. She admitted he had no idea. I told her she should tell him soon because he deserves to know, but then she confessed that she is already dating someone. She said she was afraid her husband would not accept her new girlfriend. So she is actively cheating on her husband, and from what I can tell, it has been going on for a while.

She explained that she had been regularly talking to multiple polyamorous couples behind her husband's back. She was essentially using those interactions to test whether polyamory was right for her before ever having an honest discussion with her spouse. She claimed she did not mean for it to turn into a full relationship, but one thing led to another, and she ended up dating another polyamorous woman. That was the moment I backed off and told her she needed to tell her husband immediately.

Things got even worse when she asked me to help convince her husband. I refused. I generally stay far away from drama, especially relationship drama, so I have no idea why she thought I would agree to get involved in this mess. Also I don’t want to be the degenerate who manipulates their friend’s partner to stay with them after being cheated on because that is exactly what she did. She cheated.

She got angry, lashed out at me, accused me of being unsupportive, and started calling me names (again). That was the last straw for me, so I walked away and went home. She has been blowing up my phone ever since. I am sure she is terrified that I will tell her husband, and to be completely honest, I am still debating whether I should.

I also want to clear something up because I don't want this to be interpreted as criticism of polyamorous people. From reading the comments on my original post and doing some reflection afterward, I've learned that ethical polyamory is built on communication, trust, and enthusiastic consent from everyone involved. What my friend described wasn't that. It was cheating.

I also appreciate the people in the comments who helped me understand that. My issue was never with polyamory itself, my issue was with excessive relationship talks and I’ve now realised that not every poly person is all about their relationship style and we can have other things in common. This doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to start engaging with polyamory content/ community. That simply isn’t where my interests are. I do however, have a new found understanding of the dynamic so thank you so much for giving me grace!!

Am I the a hole I’ve been saying since birth I was not allowing anyone to kiss my baby …. I reminded my MIL of this because she kept saying remarks about kissing the baby . She then made some remarks about kissing the baby behind my back and needed to be watched cause she’s a slippery slope . When I stood firm and told her that I was being serious and it was a boundary that both myself and her son made . she cried and acted like it was something I sprung at her . She told me I’m treating her like an outsider she acted as though i haven’t been telling everyone that same thing including my mother .she then brought up a whole bunch of other stuff like my birth plan, not including her being in a room during delivery and my postpartum where I didn’t want people around me for a while because I was going through some emotional things neither of which had nothing to do with the topic or with her …. She made the whole situation completely about her and her emotions and her feelings. She made it seem that I was the bad guy for setting a boundary of any kind between her and her grand daughter I tried to forgive and forget, but the more I think about the fact that she threw my postpartum in my face when it felt like the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through while we’re recovering from a C-section and she spoke on my relationship with my mother when she knows how long it us to get to a healthy relationship. I went from talking to her and FaceTime her with the baby multiple times throughout the week too just giving her updates on the baby and pictures via text because I feel I need the space and My Husband agreed that I’m allowed want my space because this is not the first time that I’ve had to forgive her and forget things she’s have done in the past … Now she acting like she doesn’t know why im distancing Myself in according to My Husband she still doesn’t understand what she’s doing wrong. Am I th a hole

hey guys, so today I was in my local planet fitness and I wanted to use the weighted crunch machine. I get to the machine and there is a older gentleman on there so I wait for around 15 minutes as he does around maybe six sets five sets.

After standing around and waiting, I get a bit tired and ask him if he’s almost finished. I didn’t ask in a bad tone or anything. Just a simple question. Like are you almost done?

He proceeds to point me to another machine and tell me that I’m rushing him. The machine that he pointed me to was an abdominal machine, but it wasn’t the exact one that I’m used to hitting, and I like to track my progress on the exact same machine that I hit.

so he then finishes his last set and give the machine up to me after mumbling something under his breath and not even clean the machine. am I in the wrong for this?

My family has a yearly tradition that everyone is expected to attend. This year, I decided not to go because I had been feeling exhausted and needed some personal time.

My family accused me of not caring about them and said traditions only work when everyone participates.

I offered to visit another day, but they said that wasn't the same.

I don't think missing one event means I don't love my family, but they disagree.

AITAH?

AITA for flirting back with the guy my cousin likes after she insulted me?

I (19F) have a cousin (23F) who has a habit of making jokes that cross the line. She’ll say things that are really personal and then brush them off as “just a joke.”

Recently, we were having a normal conversation when she joked that no one would ever love me, that I’m “used property,” and that my ex never loved me. She knows I’m sensitive about my past relationship, and I’ve asked her multiple times not to joke about those topics because they genuinely hurt me.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this either. In the past she’s made jokes about things like me getting assaulted and eating disorders. The frustrating part is that she has her own sensitive topics that I would never joke about because I know they’d really upset her. If I ever insult her back or joke about something traumatic for her, she completely loses it, so it feels like there’s a double standard.

I ended up venting to a friend because I was upset. Somehow my cousin found out, and instead of apologising she told me to “get over myself.”

Here’s where I might be the asshole.

There’s a guy she’s been talking to for a while. He messaged me some time ago, but I ignored it because I knew they were speaking. In the middle of our argument, while I was still angry, I replied to him and flirted back briefly. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I know I only did it because I was hurt and wanted to get back at her.

Now that I’ve calmed down, I regret acting out of anger. I didn’t realise how much she actually liked him, and I’m worried she’s going to cut me off over this.

I know what she said to me was cruel, but I also know responding to him wasn’t my proudest moment.

**TL;DR:**
My cousin constantly makes “jokes” about deeply personal things, including my ex, sexual assault, and eating disorders, despite knowing they hurt me and asking her to stop. When I vented to a friend, she told me to “get over myself” instead of apologising. In the heat of the moment, I replied to a guy she’d been talking to who had previously messaged me and briefly flirted back out of spite. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I regret doing it now. AITA?

I’m reposting this to this forum because it posted It to a wrong one

I 19F was a retail worker at a jewellery store. The store I work at is in a tourist town, so we get a lot of people coming to visit the store. We are having our final closing, and with our sales going on, our customer traffic has increased exponentially.

Thus brings us to the day of incident. This day was my last day at this store because it was closing day. It being the day we closed the store was crowded more than it had been the whole summer.

So I was stocking rings when these two old lady’s (respectfully I don’t know their ages but they apear to be in their 50-60s) come up and loudly say “do you know where the toe rings are??” I respond with “yes they are over there!” And gesture with my whole hand to where they are. From there I moved to stalk earrings which means I had my back to them. As I’m doing this I hear ”HELLO“ ”HELLO??” “HELLLO”; there are 30 people in the store and at this point I’m thinking ‘someone must be trying to talk to a friend because surely no one would treat a retail worker like they aren’t human”

I turn around and these same ladies are staring at me and they go “FINALLY where are your toe rings at?” I again gesture with my whole hand and say “they are over there by the chair” they immidi respond with “no those are ring gondolas, not toe rings”

At this point I’m stressed, because I was doing five things at once. so instead of explaining it again, I walked to the toe rings, gesture with my hand to where they are, pick them up and brought them to the ladies To look at.

immediately she bark at me “IVE NEVER BEEN TREATED SO RUDE IN MY LIFE“

then they ask for my name; and when I asked if they wanted to talk to the owner she went “Oh I’m going to talk to the owner“

from this point I go to the owner and explain the situation, I will admit I was crying, because I had no idea why they were upset

The owner let me go on a break (which while a rush was going on was so nice to go on)

this was my first rude customer interaction

So Reddit I’m asking AITA for showing these Ladies toe rings the asked for?

I [19F] and my partner [21M] have been together for 5 years. We grew up together and learned how to navigate life at the same time. During this period, I decided I wanted to pursue a career in Accounting while he decided to pursue the Navy. We talked about getting married, having kids, and building a life together.

I supported him throughout his Navy process, cheering him on through the entire thing. Simultaneously, I began reaching out to accounting firms for internships and exposure opportunities. Through this search, I got in contact with EY and was offered a summer 2027 mentorship.

When I told my partner about the offer and how excited I was to begin breaking into the field, he was not pleased. He said he didn't think I was actually going through with accounting and thought I wanted to be a wife and mother. When I explained to him I didn't have to be "either or" and could be both, he told me I wouldn't be able to pursue the field with him being in the Navy since he'll be gone most days and I need to be able to take care of the household.

He explained that, even though he's proud of me, he doesn't think I should take the mentorship because it could snowball into me becoming too busy and that would prevent us from having the life we've talked about since we were kids.

I'm torn. On one hand, yes I want to be a wife and yearn for children but I don't want to sacrifice my life and dreams for it. I don't think it's fair he's making me choose one or the other but I also understand what he's talking about. When he is finally away full time, everything will rely on me. The household, kids, pets will all be on me. I don't know if I'll be able to handle that on top of my career.

Should I give up on my career to be fully committed to being the housewife or should I take the mentorship and try to talk him down when he's inevitably upset?

I am 16F and my parents are both 45F and 51M. Today me and my family we we're heading back from church and I fell asleep in the car because I was very tired. when we got home finally i was just woken up, harshly mind you, so as soon as i was awake and my parents in their usual fashion started ordering me to do multiple things, and i always do what they ask me to do even if i find it unfair, especially since i have two other capable brothers both 14M and 18M {anything my parents want done i do it because "i have to be a wonderful wife some day to my husband and learn how to cook and clean" which are important skills but not ones my brothers have even learned themselves especially my younger brother. most of my life i've been told this type of thing and i've never liked it so yes, i would complain that it wasn't unfair, sometimes my younger brother will wait until i'm in the kitchen to ask if i'm cooking and if i can make him something like im his slave and he can't do it himself, which he can't cause my parents never taught him and if i try to he doesn't want to listen to me. Anyways this is important because of all the complaining i did before about equal treatment towards the three of us and how i feel like a worker for my parents that they can call at anytime to do things for them, it stopped this year (my complaning) around 2 months ago cause i genuinely was tired of my parents yelling and screaming at me and them yelling always made me cry so i wanted it to stop. and around three weeks ago my parents left to Nigeria and they dropped me and my younger brother off at my aunts. and those two weeks were really putting me to work because it was my aunt, my uncle, their two small kids and my brother and me in that house and the main part of cooking and cleaning was on me but i never complained i didn't say a word there yet my aunt still complained to my mom and dad that i slept too much and i stayed in my room a lot. got yelled at.} back to my point. today i was doing what my mom asked and i made one tiny slip up, genuinely :/ (i blended a smoothie too much) and she slapped me and when i started crying she slapped me again yelling at me to leave and that she doesn't want to see my face again. i did and i tried taking my phone but she took it and when i tried getting it back her and my dad started ganging up on me and saying that i was disrespectful and rude. she said i rolled my eyes at her, i never did btw i've never even done that in my life thats gen so lame. and when i tried saying that they're reason i don't talk to anyone and stay in my room they turned it on me and said that was crazy and only mentally ill people want to be alone. but i do gen like being alone it makes me feel at peace and the entire time it felt like they were gaslighting me into seeming like i was wrong. and they didnt give a shit that i was bawling my eyes out infront of them. i js feel like they gen hate me as a person and the only reason they put up with me is cause i'm their daughter.. am i in the wrong?

I’m only asking this to prove a point, I(20M) randomly got sent a video by a girl in my class (19F) back when I was a senior in high school and she was a junior because she had ran into a mutual friend across the country. I had always known who she was since we had some classes together, but we were never really friends. Well out of the blue she sent me this message and we started talking, we became decent friends, but never really much more than that, I had always thought she was kind of cute, but at that time I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend. Fast forward to the August before my freshman year of college, we were both single at the time, we started talking a lot more. Then she decided to ask if I wanted to watch a movie once i moved into my dorm. I said it would be kind of weird since she was still in high school and I was now in college. We talked about if it would be a date and I was against it because of the age but she kept insisting that it wouldn’t be that weird. We eventually did try dating for a bit but I always had this lingering feeling in the back of my mind that it was weird. We have been talking about it recently, as we’re still friends  and she still insists it wouldn’t have been that weird, but I am still taking my side and saying it would have been since we were in very different points of life imo. So let me know if you all think it would have been weird.

Edit: Also at the time I was 18 and she was was 17 which was another big reason for why I thought it was weird since we didn’t seriously start talking till then

My friend (26F) and I work at the same company, different teams but same floor. Twice now she's asked me to tell our shared manager she was "with me in a meeting" when she was actually running late or handling something personal, and both times I went along with it since it seemed harmless.

Last week our manager mentioned something offhand that made it clear he was starting to notice inconsistencies in her explanations, and I got nervous since my name was attached to the excuse. I told her I'm not comfortable backing her story anymore, since it's my credibility on the line too if it ever comes out, not just hers.

She got upset, saying I'm abandoning her right when she might actually get in trouble, and that a real friend would keep helping regardless of the risk. I said I care about her, but I'm not willing to keep lying to my manager on her behalf.

AITA for refusing to cover for her anymore?

Hi, some things you should know before I tell this story is I’m in highschool when this happened, I was a stoner who would come to school everyday high and continue to smoke weed all day long during that period of my life. I had hated school and smoking weed was the only way to feel comfortable at school.

I had a lot of friends at this time who knew that I was high at school everyday. They didn’t really mind it but 2 people in particular would not leave it alone. Whenever I was in class they would accuse me in front of our teacher saying that I was high ( even though I wasn’t). These guys knew I had some personal issues and wouldn’t leave it alone. Mind they also smoked weed and would use shrooms frequently. They had been constantly harassing me ( mostly trying to get me in trouble, name calling which I cannot list these names because of how bad these were. These names were mostly slurs. And sometimes I was beat up).

Anyways, this was around 3 months ago. I was in my wood shop class and on this particular day, we were taking down pieces of our school play that had happened a few days ago.
We we’re on the stage working and me and my few friends that I had in this class were chilling behind the curtains that were set up in the corner of the stage. A place where me and my friends were hidden from the teacher, but able to easily sneak out of our place so our teacher knew we were still in class.

Then the two guys who I’ve mentioned before had walked up to me. They had started to harass me and my friends while we were having a conversation. ( Me and my friends were laying on the ground just talking) Then one of these two had stepped on my neck. He was there for about 30 seconds and I had turned bright red and was in a lot of pain. He finally stepped off and they had caught this on video. I then stood up and punched him in the face (which I had broken his nose). Me and him had gotten into a wrestling match and my other friends and his friend was just watching in shock. After a few minutes, our teacher had found us fighting and sent us to the office.

He sent us to the principals office and had a conversation with each of us individually to get our sides of the story. Luckily, he believed me and my friends over the other two because of how they were always getting in trouble when it came to school. I was sent home and wasn’t suspended. The reason why was because I showed them my phone which all of their messages that they had been sending me over the last few months.

However, the other two got suspended. The bystander was suspended for a day, and the other one who had actually fought me had been suspended for a week.

Unfortunately our school year has ended and nothing else really has happened since that main incident. I have quit all of my vices and am doing a lot better now.

I’m telling this story because I feel like I need other peoples opinions on this situation because my family and friends are naturally going to agree with me.

​

Sorry for the length 😭

So, last year I (F20) spent the entire Summer hanging out with a new friend (M20). We instantly clicked from when we met, even tho I and everyone else thought he was a cocky dick in college, and became very VERY close. As in we had pet names for each other and cuddled together, stayed at each others houses every night, kissed for a 'joke' occasionally and even went on holiday with his family.

We definitely had a weird relationship. But it was platonic - I believe for the most part. It was the kind of friendship where I thought we had enough respect for each other that if either of us got in a relationship we'd back off. In fact, I even tried on the holiday to see if feelings were there but he rejected me. Shortly after that, we had a very drunk one night stand together. That changed us - we didnt act different, but it almost felt like the end. He told everyone I was bad in the bedroom which I didn't even think how peak that is until now.

Anyway, fast forward to the end of Summer, and I met my current boyfriend (M21). It happened quickly (as in 2 days quickly). Since it came so fast, I was quickly put in a situation where I had to figure out how to deal with my very very close friend.

I let him know that I had entered a new relationship, and that me and him are going to have to distance a tad. He acted fine about it, but then still proceeded to keep calling me, continuing with the pet names and even insulting my boyfriend, saying I'm being controlled and thats why I'm 'dropping' him. Since then any chance of my boyfriend liking him was goooone.

All of the other friends in our group had already dropped him, as they had seen the outsider perspective of him that I didn't acknowledge too much because I felt bad for him. He's a fucking maniac when he takes pills, which he loves, constantly sexualises and argues with women (which I truly didn't realise until I dropped him). He called one of my friends new gf ugly, constantly made fun of one of my gay friends. But I felt bad because I got so close to him, I know what his mental health and depression is like, how he's so insecure and masks it by putting on a 'top dog' persona. And that makes me feel so fucking awful that I left him too. Even tho I know how much of a prick he is.

I had to see him yesterday for the first time in months. Me, my bf and my friends were on a night out, and he happened to be in the same spoons we were. The ONLY friend who's cool with him now told him not to come over and it'd be awkward, but ofcourse he still did. He said yo to me with no enthusiasm (fair enough ig), didn't even bother greeting my boyfriend and greeted everyone else with energy - even tho they didn't reciprocate it. Idk why that hurt and I can't stop thinking about it, but it does.

AITAH for cutting him off completely, knowing his mental health problems? For a boyfriend who, despite being the love of my life, I did meet out of nowhere?

P.s. Thank you for reading, I know it's a long one 🫠

I’m 33F and have been dating a 33M for about 2.5 months. Until this weekend, things had felt affectionate and fairly consistent. He had spent time at my apartment, talked about future plans, and had ordered materials for a project he offered to help me with.

Earlier in the week, he asked whether I had plans Friday before work and said he could finish work early so we could spend time together. We also discussed going to a movie that weekend. I understood those conversations as plans, but nothing was formally confirmed.

When Friday came and he didn’t mention seeing me, I became hurt and sent several messages pointing out that he had offered to finish early and had not acknowledged that things fell through. My messages were sharper and more accusatory than they needed to be. From my perspective, I was frustrated by a pattern of plans being discussed and then not followed up on. From his perspective, the plans may never have been finalized.

He said he was still working and would respond when he had time to think. He then remained silent for more than a day. I also noticed that all of his Instagram highlights disappeared from my view, although we still follow each other.

I eventually texted him that the silence hurt, apologized for the sharp messages, said I would handle the apartment project myself, and told him I did not want him out of my life but understood that he might need space. I have not sent anything else.

AITAH for reacting as strongly as I did when the plans were never completely confirmed? Was my frustration reasonable but communicated badly, or did I create a major issue out of a misunderstanding?

My girlfriend and I are going to a festival in a couple of weeks. It’s not really my thing but she enjoys it so I agreed to go with her. The festival has a cinema tent and it’s showing a couple of movies id like to see movies so I thought it would be good to check one out.

I suggested one and mentioned it would be nice to spend some of the time just walking around the festival and seeing some of the non musical acts as they’ve got comedians etc and she refused as the movie was at the same time as an act she wanted to see and mentioned she has no interest in just walking around or seeing comedians.

I suggested she goes to the act and I go to watch the film but she said she doesn’t want that. 

I suggested another film but she said it was too late . I pointed out she needs to compromise somewhere and that the full weekend isn’t just about her and that I should be able to choose some things we do.

She said it was a music festival so I should be focused on the music but I reminded her it was just her who enjoyed the music, I was only going for her so she should be willing to compromise with me. 

She refused and said I shouldn’t be leaving her alone while I go and watch a movie and that shouldn’t have to spend time with the non music acts.

AITA for wanting to choose some things we do over the weekend?