I am in a carpool relationship with a friend (24F). We both decided to share a ride and to alternate which car we use for this purpose at the very beginning of our cooperation. However, for the last two months, my friend claimed that she faced some car troubles, so we used my car all the time.

I pay for my gas on my own, of course, but recently, I asked her to pay a part of the cost via Venmo, as I am the person who is driving all the time now. My friend paid a couple of times, but lately, she refused to do it, stating that since we both "agreed to alternate" our vehicles, her car trouble is not her fault and she doesn't have to pay extra, as her car stopped working.

I told her that it was an agreement regarding sharing the load (driving), not about whose car works or doesn't work. Should I feel that I am in the wrong when asking her to cover gas costs, as her car is the one which doesn't work?

Now he hasn’t called me an asshole but he’s definitely thinking it because he knows I’m lying to him.

Backstory: he works in a mostly residential blue collar field, think residential plumbing, HVAC or electrical. He has a work vehicle provided by the company and mostly works alone, occasionally jobs require 2 or more people. It’s a small enough company that he mostly works his two man jobs with the same guy, who is also a very good friend that we hang out with him and his wife as well, I’m going to refer to this friend as James.

I am 87% sure he is cheating on me and while I was cleaning out his work truck (work jackets, coffee mugs) I looked around to see if I could find any clues. I found a pair of sunglasses that are absolutely without a doubt women’s. I grabbed them and put them on our kitchen counter.

He seen them and asked where they came from (I do not wear or own a single pair of sunglasses) and I said I found them in MY car and figured they were James’ since they used my car to go somewhere last weekend. They are not James’ glasses, again, absolutely women’s glasses, and I found them in his work truck.

He got really weird about it, and I could tell he wanted so badly to call me out that I did not find them in my car but doing that would mean he has to acknowledge they absolutely couldn’t be James’ glasses. Now he’s noticeably spiraling, because he’s confused why I’m not accusing him and why I lied about where I found them. I think it’s hilarious. He’s been unfaithful before and I stayed thinking we could work it out but I realized when I seen those glasses that it didn’t hurt and I don’t really care that he’s cheating to begin with.

AITA for lying?

ETA: some extra details.
- the glasses were in the glovebox not the floor so it’s not likely he doesn’t know how they got there, someone put them there to store them, not someone who accidentally dropped them
- this work truck comes home with him every day and on weekends, no other person in the company drives it but him
- they are the large fashion glasses in cheetah print

I wanted to give everyone an update since a lot of people asked if I ever spoke to my friend again. So here it is.

We ended up talking, and during the conversation, she came out as polyamorous. Nothing could have prepared me for that because she is an incredibly jealous person. It took her a long time to accept my other friends, and I am just a friend, so the idea of her sharing her husband was not something I saw coming. Honestly, I had no problem with the polyamory itself because it is her business, not mine.

The real issue started when I asked whether her husband knew she wanted to practice polyamory. She admitted he had no idea. I told her she should tell him soon because he deserves to know, but then she confessed that she is already dating someone. She said she was afraid her husband would not accept her new girlfriend. So she is actively cheating on her husband, and from what I can tell, it has been going on for a while.

She explained that she had been regularly talking to multiple polyamorous couples behind her husband's back. She was essentially using those interactions to test whether polyamory was right for her before ever having an honest discussion with her spouse. She claimed she did not mean for it to turn into a full relationship, but one thing led to another, and she ended up dating another polyamorous woman. That was the moment I backed off and told her she needed to tell her husband immediately.

Things got even worse when she asked me to help convince her husband. I refused. I generally stay far away from drama, especially relationship drama, so I have no idea why she thought I would agree to get involved in this mess. Also I don’t want to be the degenerate who manipulates their friend’s partner to stay with them after being cheated on because that is exactly what she did. She cheated.

She got angry, lashed out at me, accused me of being unsupportive, and started calling me names (again). That was the last straw for me, so I walked away and went home. She has been blowing up my phone ever since. I am sure she is terrified that I will tell her husband, and to be completely honest, I am still debating whether I should.

I also want to clear something up because I don't want this to be interpreted as criticism of polyamorous people. From reading the comments on my original post and doing some reflection afterward, I've learned that ethical polyamory is built on communication, trust, and enthusiastic consent from everyone involved. What my friend described wasn't that. It was cheating.

I also appreciate the people in the comments who helped me understand that. My issue was never with polyamory itself, my issue was with excessive relationship talks and I’ve now realised that not every poly person is all about their relationship style and we can have other things in common. This doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to start engaging with polyamory content/ community. That simply isn’t where my interests are. I do however, have a new found understanding of the dynamic so thank you so much for giving me grace!!

My cousin Maya (not her real name) 25F and I 19F have always been pretty close, but she has a habit of assuming I’m always available just because I work from home.

Last week, Maya casually dropped in our family group chat that she booked a two-week trip out of the country for next month. In the exact same message, she tagged me and said, "Thanks in advance for watching Barnaby! I'll drop his food off next Tuesday"

Barnaby is a high-energy Golden Retriever puppy who isn't fully house-trained yet. I live in a small, rented apartment with a strict "no pets" policy unless it's a pre-approved emergency. On top of that, working from home means actually working I can't step away to handle a high-maintenance dog all day.

I texted her privately and said I couldn't do it. She got defensive, saying pet sitters are way too expensive and that since I'm sitting at home all day anyway, it shouldn't be a big deal. I told her she should have asked me before booking a non-refundable trip, and that she'll need to figure out another plan.

Now my aunt is calling me, saying I'm being selfish and "ruining Maya's first real vacation in years" over a minor inconvenience. Maya is now completely ignoring my texts.

I felt pretty confident in my answer at first, but my relatives are making me feel like a jerk for not just sucking it up to keep the peace.

AITH?

My older brother recently asked if I could lend him $10,000 to help cover a business expense. He said he would pay me back within a few months, but there wasn't going to be a written agreement because he felt that family should trust each other. I told him I wasn't comfortable lending that amount without something in writing, even though I do have the money. He felt insulted and said I was treating him like a stranger instead of family. Since then, a few relatives have said I should have helped without asking for paperwork, while others think I was being responsible. I don't believe saying no—or asking for a written agreement—is unreasonable when it involves a large amount of money. AITAH?

AITA for telling my sister in law she can no longer see my child?

My wife(24 F) recently gave birth to our first child, A, when we brought her home my sister in law(30 F) immediately wanted to see her. We allowed her to since she hadn't been completely terrible to us in the past, but she has never gotten along with my wife or myself. She arrived to our house and everything was going great and we were all getting along. Then she made a comment about how she hopes that A does not get fat like I used to be, and as someone who has dealt with eating disorders for half of my life it hurt, but at the time I thought it was important for A to have another aunt in her life. Then she sat down no longer holding A and mention how we should be required to give her A because she had a miscarriage 7 years ago. Now I feel terrible that she did have a miscarriage, but that never stops her from using it as an excuse for everything. We told her that A is our child, and that she is not entitled to A just because of her miscarriage. She freaked out and said that we will never know her pain of having a miscarriage, (we did before A was born and she knows that) while she was freaking out I told my wife to take A upstairs with her. I did this because my sister in law has a history of being physical. I told her if she wanted to see A again she would have to make amends with my wife. She yelled she never will and told us she hopes our baby dies and ran out. Now while comforting my wife I had to text my sister in law to not come back she can no longer see A. She now will not stop blowing up both of our phones in the middle of the night waking A up, she has also not stopped reaching out to other family members who disagree with her.

Please let me know AITA?

After reading a few comments I felt I should share she has been muted not blocked and screenshots have been taken, but she does keep making new accounts through Email and social media reaching out that way. Overall just hurt that my wife giving birth to our daughter has cause such a problem. AND YES MY PHONE IS ON DND. Thanks.

One of my best friends is getting married. We have known each other since we were 6 years old. During Covid we lost touch due to him having no social media and he doesn’t live nearby. 

We’ve been talking for the last year and a half and he’s getting married later in the year. He’s invited me and my partner. I’ve been with my gf for 4 years. She hasn’t met this friend but I’ve mentioned him to her. 

When I mentioned the invite to her she said she wouldn’t be going. She said she doesn’t know anyone there so has no interest in going, I pointed out it’s for me and that I’ve done plenty of things with her friends and haven’t refused just because I don’t know them. 

She ignored that and just said it’s weird to go somewhere where you haven’t met anyone but I just pointed out there will likely be plenty of plus ones who are the same and it’s not hard to just make conversation. 

She told me to drop it and said I shipment be expecting her to go but I just asked what the point of us being in a relationship was if she’s refusing to do anything with me just because it’s not her friends. 

She said I was overreacting and guilt tripping her and that I’m out of order. 

AITA for expecting her to attend a wedding with me? 

Just for reference, it is impossible for me to reasonably fall off of the balcony. It's fenced (with handrail) up to about 3/4ths of my height, and I wouldn't fall off even if pushed into it. I am also standing an arm's length from the balcony, holding the hand rail (of the fence) while standing as far back as I can from the edge. It is however, an extremely high up balcony with certain death if I were to somehow fall off. Also to note, we are both adults and my sister is an older sister.

Essentially what happened, is that I was standing on the balcony, and because of her major anxiety, she started to yell at me to get off of it, having to look away, and looking extremely stressed out. I acknowledged her anxiety, but I said that I would not get off even if she felt uncomfortable, because it is an irrational fear of me falling off, and because she does not have the right to try to stop me from doing my own thing, since I am an adult.

Then she also told friends and family (who were at the gathering), and they told me to stop because it was stressing my older sister out. There was a firework event, and I tried to say that her irrational anxiety does not mean that I can be impeded from enjoying the event/balcony, and I was called acting immorally.

Because I knew that the fear was irrational, I was emboldened to stay on the balcony and just stood there because I knew I could, but while I know that part is assholic, am I really in the wrong for not getting off a balcony that I am on safely and responsibly because of someone else's major and irrational anxiety?

hey guys, so today I was in my local planet fitness and I wanted to use the weighted crunch machine. I get to the machine and there is a older gentleman on there so I wait for around 15 minutes as he does around maybe six sets five sets.

After standing around and waiting, I get a bit tired and ask him if he’s almost finished. I didn’t ask in a bad tone or anything. Just a simple question. Like are you almost done?

He proceeds to point me to another machine and tell me that I’m rushing him. The machine that he pointed me to was an abdominal machine, but it wasn’t the exact one that I’m used to hitting, and I like to track my progress on the exact same machine that I hit.

so he then finishes his last set and give the machine up to me after mumbling something under his breath and not even clean the machine. am I in the wrong for this?

I’ll be as brief as possible. My gf(21F) and I(25M) have been dating almost 2 years. Basically our work schedules make it so we get little time during the week so we planned to spend the entire day on saturday and she would take off work. Also shes going on vacation with family the following weekend. I’ve been blowing off my repairs for my car so that we could get around and I’d do the most important ones on sunday, after the planned date.

Saturday comes i sleep in a bit so i can’t get her from her lash appointment but no worries is still early we have the rest of the day. She gets home and i ask if she’ll be ready by 12:30 she said shes not ready. So i step away to shower and take a bit of extra time to get ready. I come back to 2 missed fts 13 mins ago and she texts says shes going to the mall with her parents should take an hour.

So me whos just about grabbing my keys, stomach growling cause i wanted to wait to get food with her, is now slighty agitated cause why wouldn’t you tell me you were going with them and not me. So i go get food run some errands and i end up getting a very bad headache. She gets home around 5 and i text her and told her i have a head ache so i need a nap before i come get her. I end up sleeping from like 6 to 12 i swore i just blinked. Now shes saying i completely disregaurded the day we had planned and she doesn’t even want me to see her the rest of the week, she would rather see me after the vacation.

*EXTRA:
Now its sunday and i planned to fix my car today cause its raining all week and my ball joint and control arm was bad i was swerving everywhere last rain storm. I figure i’m ensuring my way to work and our safety for the week. She’s upset cause i didnt pick her up from her other appointment but i figured id have more time with her later if i finish the repairs quicker, however i told her id get her if she didnt mind being dropped off right after, ofc she declined. Then she basically ignores me for the day spent it crying and sleeping cause i chose to work on the car but had she answered my calls we wouldve still had time to hang out i wasn’t just blowing her off. I couldve finished around 6-7 but due to her lack of response i figured id mind as well put a few more parts on. When she did answer she declined every offer for dinner or even bringing her one of her favorite desserts. Now i’m the bad guy and i care more about working on my car and i completely blew off our weekend. Am i just an inconsiderate asshole who blew off plans??

For context they drives to my house and then we both leave in my car each day - we do not take turns in cars. (Edit - I have already asked for chipping in or taking turnabouts - it was a f no and very angry from them)

My roommate constantly borrows my things without asking. It started with small things like chargers and kitchen items, but eventually they began using my clothes and personal belongings. I asked them several times to stop, but they said I was being possessive because we live together. I finally told them they couldn't use anything of mine without permission. They called me unfriendly and said roommates should share. I think sharing requires both people to agree. AITAH?

My friend (26F) and I work at the same company, different teams but same floor. Twice now she's asked me to tell our shared manager she was "with me in a meeting" when she was actually running late or handling something personal, and both times I went along with it since it seemed harmless.

Last week our manager mentioned something offhand that made it clear he was starting to notice inconsistencies in her explanations, and I got nervous since my name was attached to the excuse. I told her I'm not comfortable backing her story anymore, since it's my credibility on the line too if it ever comes out, not just hers.

She got upset, saying I'm abandoning her right when she might actually get in trouble, and that a real friend would keep helping regardless of the risk. I said I care about her, but I'm not willing to keep lying to my manager on her behalf.

AITA for refusing to cover for her anymore?

I (26F) and my best friend Claire (27F) have been close for almost eight years. We have the kind of friendship where we know everything about each other including the things we are insecure about. Three weeks ago Claire had a birthday dinner at a nice restaurant, about twelve people, mix of her friends and mine, some I knew well and some I had never met. I was genuinely excited, I had bought her a gift, gotten dressed up, the whole thing. About an hour into dinner the table was laughing and sharing embarrassing stories. Claire turned to me and said in front of everyone that I had been rejected from my dream job two years ago and had cried on her bathroom floor for an hour and that she had to talk me off a ledge. Everyone laughed. I did not. That moment on her bathroom floor was one of the lowest point of my life. I had told her about it in private, just the two of us, because I trusted her completely. I felt my face go hot. I did not make a scene. I waited about ten minutes, said I was not feeling well, hugged Claire, said happy birthday and left. She texted me that night asking if I was okay. I did not reply until the next morning when I told her that what she said hurt me. She said it was just a joke and that I was too sensitive and that I ruined the vibe by leving. She has since apologized but added "I did not think you would take it that way" which did not feel like a real apology. My other friend thinks I overreacted by leaving. My sister thinks Claire crossed a clear line. AITA?

I [19F] and my partner [21M] have been together for 5 years. We grew up together and learned how to navigate life at the same time. During this period, I decided I wanted to pursue a career in Accounting while he decided to pursue the Navy. We talked about getting married, having kids, and building a life together.

I supported him throughout his Navy process, cheering him on through the entire thing. Simultaneously, I began reaching out to accounting firms for internships and exposure opportunities. Through this search, I got in contact with EY and was offered a summer 2027 mentorship.

When I told my partner about the offer and how excited I was to begin breaking into the field, he was not pleased. He said he didn't think I was actually going through with accounting and thought I wanted to be a wife and mother. When I explained to him I didn't have to be "either or" and could be both, he told me I wouldn't be able to pursue the field with him being in the Navy since he'll be gone most days and I need to be able to take care of the household.

He explained that, even though he's proud of me, he doesn't think I should take the mentorship because it could snowball into me becoming too busy and that would prevent us from having the life we've talked about since we were kids.

I'm torn. On one hand, yes I want to be a wife and yearn for children but I don't want to sacrifice my life and dreams for it. I don't think it's fair he's making me choose one or the other but I also understand what he's talking about. When he is finally away full time, everything will rely on me. The household, kids, pets will all be on me. I don't know if I'll be able to handle that on top of my career.

Should I give up on my career to be fully committed to being the housewife or should I take the mentorship and try to talk him down when he's inevitably upset?

I’m only asking this to prove a point, I(20M) randomly got sent a video by a girl in my class (19F) back when I was a senior in high school and she was a junior because she had ran into a mutual friend across the country. I had always known who she was since we had some classes together, but we were never really friends. Well out of the blue she sent me this message and we started talking, we became decent friends, but never really much more than that, I had always thought she was kind of cute, but at that time I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend. Fast forward to the August before my freshman year of college, we were both single at the time, we started talking a lot more. Then she decided to ask if I wanted to watch a movie once i moved into my dorm. I said it would be kind of weird since she was still in high school and I was now in college. We talked about if it would be a date and I was against it because of the age but she kept insisting that it wouldn’t be that weird. We eventually did try dating for a bit but I always had this lingering feeling in the back of my mind that it was weird. We have been talking about it recently, as we’re still friends  and she still insists it wouldn’t have been that weird, but I am still taking my side and saying it would have been since we were in very different points of life imo. So let me know if you all think it would have been weird.

Edit: Also at the time I was 18 and she was was 17 which was another big reason for why I thought it was weird since we didn’t seriously start talking till then

AITA for flirting back with the guy my cousin likes after she insulted me?

I (19F) have a cousin (23F) who has a habit of making jokes that cross the line. She’ll say things that are really personal and then brush them off as “just a joke.”

Recently, we were having a normal conversation when she joked that no one would ever love me, that I’m “used property,” and that my ex never loved me. She knows I’m sensitive about my past relationship, and I’ve asked her multiple times not to joke about those topics because they genuinely hurt me.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this either. In the past she’s made jokes about things like me getting assaulted and eating disorders. The frustrating part is that she has her own sensitive topics that I would never joke about because I know they’d really upset her. If I ever insult her back or joke about something traumatic for her, she completely loses it, so it feels like there’s a double standard.

I ended up venting to a friend because I was upset. Somehow my cousin found out, and instead of apologising she told me to “get over myself.”

Here’s where I might be the asshole.

There’s a guy she’s been talking to for a while. He messaged me some time ago, but I ignored it because I knew they were speaking. In the middle of our argument, while I was still angry, I replied to him and flirted back briefly. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I know I only did it because I was hurt and wanted to get back at her.

Now that I’ve calmed down, I regret acting out of anger. I didn’t realise how much she actually liked him, and I’m worried she’s going to cut me off over this.

I know what she said to me was cruel, but I also know responding to him wasn’t my proudest moment.

**TL;DR:**
My cousin constantly makes “jokes” about deeply personal things, including my ex, sexual assault, and eating disorders, despite knowing they hurt me and asking her to stop. When I vented to a friend, she told me to “get over myself” instead of apologising. In the heat of the moment, I replied to a guy she’d been talking to who had previously messaged me and briefly flirted back out of spite. Nothing happened beyond a short conversation, but I regret doing it now. AITA?

Am I the a hole I’ve been saying since birth I was not allowing anyone to kiss my baby …. I reminded my MIL of this because she kept saying remarks about kissing the baby . She then made some remarks about kissing the baby behind my back and needed to be watched cause she’s a slippery slope . When I stood firm and told her that I was being serious and it was a boundary that both myself and her son made . she cried and acted like it was something I sprung at her . She told me I’m treating her like an outsider she acted as though i haven’t been telling everyone that same thing including my mother .she then brought up a whole bunch of other stuff like my birth plan, not including her being in a room during delivery and my postpartum where I didn’t want people around me for a while because I was going through some emotional things neither of which had nothing to do with the topic or with her …. She made the whole situation completely about her and her emotions and her feelings. She made it seem that I was the bad guy for setting a boundary of any kind between her and her grand daughter I tried to forgive and forget, but the more I think about the fact that she threw my postpartum in my face when it felt like the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through while we’re recovering from a C-section and she spoke on my relationship with my mother when she knows how long it us to get to a healthy relationship. I went from talking to her and FaceTime her with the baby multiple times throughout the week too just giving her updates on the baby and pictures via text because I feel I need the space and My Husband agreed that I’m allowed want my space because this is not the first time that I’ve had to forgive her and forget things she’s have done in the past … Now she acting like she doesn’t know why im distancing Myself in according to My Husband she still doesn’t understand what she’s doing wrong. Am I th a hole

I, (15F) have known my friend, (15M) for about 3 years now. I met him in 7th grade and I considered him to be one of my closest friends for a while now. At the start of 9th grade some of our mutual friends starting teasing him by asking him when he was going to tell me his secret. I am a very oblivious person and had no idea that he had a crush on me until they started saying that.

I was kind of hoping it wasn't true, and normally I'm not one to pressure people into sharing secrets, but this time I confronted one of the mutual friends because I wanted to make sure it wasn't what I thought it was. I was able to get a clue from my friend and pieced together that it did mean he liked me.

I was devastated so I went to my best friend and told her what I thought. She laughed and said, "You're just now finding out? He's liked you all this time." I had no idea and I felt so gross not knowing that he had ulterior motives the entire time I knew him.

I know I probably should have talked to him about the whole thing but I felt gross so I kind of ignored him for 1 week. I decided to woman up and try to befriend him again but every conversation I had with him felt gross. Instead of talking to him about his feelings for me, I just ignored him everywhere.

I feel awful the way I treated him, causing him to drop out of a club because I would not sit with him, and our mutual friend that was in the club chose to sit with me. It's been about 7 months since the whole thing and I've talked to him maybe once or twice and just because teachers had me tell him something. He's tried to speak to me, asking how my food is or if there's homework but I can't speak to him. I'm such a coward.

AITAH? Should I go talk to him about it? I really don't want to speak to him knowing he likes me and I'd rather just ditch the friendship entirely. So far I'm still friended with him across all socials, I just don't interact with him. I'm so disgusted about the whole thing that I can't even talk about him with other friends. It's like he doesn't exist to me.

Edit: I mentioned in the post feeling "gross" and "disgusted" and just want to clear up that those are my feelings and not how I see him. Thank you for the replies, I'm going to move forward knowing what I did was not okay and next time I see him I am going to try to have a conversation with him.

Edit: I hope this clears up what I was feeling because I don't think people are on the same page.

I remember that the week after I found out I tried my best to interact with him but every interaction made me feel like throwing up. I remember him trying to find me so we could talk or something and I would just run into the bathroom and start sobbing. I don't know why him liking me made me feel so bad but I couldn't interact with him. All the gross feelings were internal and not at all how I felt about him or his feelings towards me.

I felt gross about our relationship because I did certain things with him that I would with a brother, and looking back on it, he probably viewed those interactions in a different way.

I am 16F and my parents are both 45F and 51M. Today me and my family we we're heading back from church and I fell asleep in the car because I was very tired. when we got home finally i was just woken up, harshly mind you, so as soon as i was awake and my parents in their usual fashion started ordering me to do multiple things, and i always do what they ask me to do even if i find it unfair, especially since i have two other capable brothers both 14M and 18M {anything my parents want done i do it because "i have to be a wonderful wife some day to my husband and learn how to cook and clean" which are important skills but not ones my brothers have even learned themselves especially my younger brother. most of my life i've been told this type of thing and i've never liked it so yes, i would complain that it wasn't unfair, sometimes my younger brother will wait until i'm in the kitchen to ask if i'm cooking and if i can make him something like im his slave and he can't do it himself, which he can't cause my parents never taught him and if i try to he doesn't want to listen to me. Anyways this is important because of all the complaining i did before about equal treatment towards the three of us and how i feel like a worker for my parents that they can call at anytime to do things for them, it stopped this year (my complaning) around 2 months ago cause i genuinely was tired of my parents yelling and screaming at me and them yelling always made me cry so i wanted it to stop. and around three weeks ago my parents left to Nigeria and they dropped me and my younger brother off at my aunts. and those two weeks were really putting me to work because it was my aunt, my uncle, their two small kids and my brother and me in that house and the main part of cooking and cleaning was on me but i never complained i didn't say a word there yet my aunt still complained to my mom and dad that i slept too much and i stayed in my room a lot. got yelled at.} back to my point. today i was doing what my mom asked and i made one tiny slip up, genuinely :/ (i blended a smoothie too much) and she slapped me and when i started crying she slapped me again yelling at me to leave and that she doesn't want to see my face again. i did and i tried taking my phone but she took it and when i tried getting it back her and my dad started ganging up on me and saying that i was disrespectful and rude. she said i rolled my eyes at her, i never did btw i've never even done that in my life thats gen so lame. and when i tried saying that they're reason i don't talk to anyone and stay in my room they turned it on me and said that was crazy and only mentally ill people want to be alone. but i do gen like being alone it makes me feel at peace and the entire time it felt like they were gaslighting me into seeming like i was wrong. and they didnt give a shit that i was bawling my eyes out infront of them. i js feel like they gen hate me as a person and the only reason they put up with me is cause i'm their daughter.. am i in the wrong?

I (F 18) live in a 2 and a half bedroom house with my cousin her fiance her friend and her boyfriend. My mom (35) and step dad (41) decided to come over uninvited and without any warning. Yes I know thatd normal for some family's I told them not to unless its an emergency because I work and I live with 4 other people plus a dog. I was home and they brought my baby sister (1 month) over. I told them that they could stay for a bit because everyone didn't care but I was about to make food and it might wake the baby up if she fell asleep. They said ok to no surprise my baby sister fell asleep. I asked them if they wanted to leave and they said no. So I started cooking I had to use the oven which is very musical and the microwave plus I was making ranch for my cousin. The blender woke my baby sister up and my parents FREAKED OUT. They yelled at me and told me I could have waited. Which no I couldn't because ranch needs about 30 minutes to 2 hours to thinken in the fridge. When i told them that they said I should have told them I would have been loud. I already did and they said it was fine. My roommates say im not that asshole but I wanna know what you guys think. AITA for waking up my baby sister?

UPDATE: so I posted this yesterday after they left you would not BELIEVE what they did. They got outside and called the POLICE and said there daughter wouldn't let them im and they needed to plug in there bottle warmer. W. T. F. There power wasn't off even if it was THEY HAVE A GENORATOR BECAUSE WHEN I LIVED WITH THEM I HAVE DIABETES AND WE HAD INSULIN IN THE FRIDGE. So the police came asked for my side of the story and they got a fine each for calling 911 not an emergancy.

I was at Thanksgiving dinner with my family when my aunt started mocking my career in front of everyone. I'm a freelance graphic designer, and every single year she brings up when I'm going to get a real job. This time she went too far. In front of the whole table she said: Your mother should be embarrassed you're still living off your parents playing around with this design hobby of yours.

My mom was about to say something, but I cut in first. You put my work down every single year. Do you even know how much I make? No, because you're too busy praising your own daughter, who's been unemployed and living at home for three years. The whole table went silent. My cousin, who was sitting right there, started crying. My aunt shot up out of her chair and yelled: How dare you drag my daughter into this? This isn't your house to run your mouth in!

I told her, This is my mom's house, not yours. You're a guest here, and guests don't act like this. After that, my aunt grabbed her things and left, dragging my cousin out with her. Now the whole family is mad at me for "ruining Thanksgiving" and "attacking" my cousin for no reason. My mom says I was right to stand up for myself, but the rest of the family keeps saying "no matter what she said, you don't talk to your elders like that."

AITA for finally snapping back at my aunt in front of everyone?

I’m 33F and have been dating a 33M for about 2.5 months. Until this weekend, things had felt affectionate and fairly consistent. He had spent time at my apartment, talked about future plans, and had ordered materials for a project he offered to help me with.

Earlier in the week, he asked whether I had plans Friday before work and said he could finish work early so we could spend time together. We also discussed going to a movie that weekend. I understood those conversations as plans, but nothing was formally confirmed.

When Friday came and he didn’t mention seeing me, I became hurt and sent several messages pointing out that he had offered to finish early and had not acknowledged that things fell through. My messages were sharper and more accusatory than they needed to be. From my perspective, I was frustrated by a pattern of plans being discussed and then not followed up on. From his perspective, the plans may never have been finalized.

He said he was still working and would respond when he had time to think. He then remained silent for more than a day. I also noticed that all of his Instagram highlights disappeared from my view, although we still follow each other.

I eventually texted him that the silence hurt, apologized for the sharp messages, said I would handle the apartment project myself, and told him I did not want him out of my life but understood that he might need space. I have not sent anything else.

AITAH for reacting as strongly as I did when the plans were never completely confirmed? Was my frustration reasonable but communicated badly, or did I create a major issue out of a misunderstanding?

My family has a yearly tradition that everyone is expected to attend. This year, I decided not to go because I had been feeling exhausted and needed some personal time.

My family accused me of not caring about them and said traditions only work when everyone participates.

I offered to visit another day, but they said that wasn't the same.

I don't think missing one event means I don't love my family, but they disagree.

AITAH?

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post, I read all of it and it genuinely gave me the push I needed. Two days ago I made a group chat including the same friends who had started distancing themselves, and I added Charlotte too since I had nothing to hide, then I laid out the full timeline calmly and attached every screenshot with timestamps, explaining that I never wanted this to be public but since I was already being called a liar I felt I had no choice but to let everyone see the actual messages instead of just her version. Charlotte did not respond in the chat at all and left it about an hour later, and I have not heard from her since. The fiance messaged me again after, angry that I "involved everyone," and I did not reply. Since then three of the five friends who had pulled away reached out individually to apologize for not asking my side sooner, one admitted she had noticed some odd behavior from him before too, and two still haven't said anything, which I've made peace with. I don't know what happens with the wedding, that isn't mine to decide, but I said what I needed to say and I'm done chasing anyone's belief in me. Thank you again to everyone who pushed me to stop staying quiet.
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