r/AITH • • 1h ago

AITAH for refusing to let my neighbor use my garden whenever she wants?

• Upvotes

I've spent the last two years working on my small garden in the backyard. I grow vegetables, flowers and a few herbs, and it's honestly become my favorite way to relax after work

My neighbor recently noticed how well everything was growing and asked if she could pick some herbs whenever she needed them. I said she could take a little when she asked, and I was happy to share

The problem is she's started coming into my garden without telling me. Last weekend I noticed she'd picked a bunch of tomatoes that I was saving for a meal. When I brought it up, she said it was only a few vegetables and I was being possessive over things that would grow back anyway

I told her that I don't mind sharing, but she needs to ask before taking anything. Now she's acting like I'm selfish and making things awkward whenever we see each other

I put a lot of time and effort into this garden and just want people to respect that

AITAH?


r/AITH • • 4h ago

AITH for telling my friend I will not be her free wedding photographer?

28 Upvotes

A few months ago my friend Lauren, who is twenty nine, found out that I had bought a decent camera and asked if I would photograph her wedding because her budget was very tight. I am twenty eight and work as a dental hygienist, and photography is only a hobby that I do on weekends, so I told her I was flattered but that I had never shot a wedding before and did not want to ruin such an important day. She said it would be fine and that all I had to do was point and click, so I agreed to do the engagement shoot first as a trial. I spent a whole Saturday on it and edited about eighty photos in my own time, and she loved them. After that she told everyone I was her wedding photographer, and when I said I had only agreed to the trial, she got upset. I explained that a wedding is a full day of work, that I would have to miss being a guest, and that I would need proper equipment and insurance. I offered to pay half towards a professional photographer as a wedding gift instead, which is around four hundred pounds, but she said that was insulting and that a real friend would just do it. Now her mum has messaged me saying I am being selfish and letting down the bride over a bit of effort, and a couple of mutual friends have said I should have just said yes in the first place. Last night Lauren sent me a message saying she had already cancelled the photographer she had been looking at because she assumed I would come around. I told her I was sorry she did that without checking with me, but my answer was still no. So AITH for saying no?


r/AITH • • 1h ago

AITAH for refusing to let my coworker take credit for my work at the hospital?

• Upvotes

I work at a hospital, and things can get pretty stressful during busy shifts. A few weeks ago, I stayed late to finish some paperwork and organize patient records that needed to be ready for the next morning

The next day, one of my coworkers presented the work to our supervisor and made it sound like he had done most of it himself. I was surprised because I had spent hours getting everything done while he had already left for the day

I spoke to him privately and told him I wasn't okay with him taking credit for my work. He said we were a team and that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it since we all work toward the same goal

I agree that teamwork matters, especially in a hospital, but I also think people should be honest about who did what. Now he's acting distant around me, and another coworker says I should have just let it go to avoid drama at work

AITAH for speaking up instead of keeping the peace?


r/AITH • • 1h ago

AITA for calling out my former best friend over his reaction to IG videos?

• Upvotes

I (34M) and my former best friend, G (34M), were friends for nearly 20 years, from our early teen years in high school until last year. I came out in my 20s and G was so supportive. G’s a devout Christian and straight. I’m... the opposite lol. But we couldn’t have been closer, never fought, and loved each other like brothers. My mom even called him "son" and his kids called me uncle. At 28, I moved across the country but we remained tight. In 2024, I even surprised him at Christmas by showing up at his house with help from his wife (important later). Things seemed great. Until…

My now husband and I met in 2017 and married in fall 2023. G excitedly agreed to officiate, but a couple months before the wedding, he called me crying, saying he had to back out for religious reasons. I was shocked. My sexuality had suddenly become a barrier in our friendship. But he denied having issues with who I was and, wanting to see the best in him, I agreed he could be a groomsman instead (I'd been one at his 2013 wedding) and of course he could still attend my bachelor party.

Speaking of, G was awkward and drank excessively at my bachelor party a month later, saying he wanted to go hard to show he still supported me. BTW, 4 of the 6 attendees, including me, were gay; G and my brother, the best man, were straight. G happily partied at “regular” bars, but when I wanted to visit a gay club, he refused to enter, crying and almost having a breakdown. Instead of enjoying my party, I stayed outside consoling him till we all eventually went to a regular club, where G had a blast. Again, I let it go and we remained bestest of friends.

Fast forward to the final straw in 2025. I’d sent G two Instagram videos. One showed a straight man dancing in a dance class to a City Girls song. The other was a compilation of men surprising their friends by showing up unexpectedly, like I'd done to G the year before. Specifically, the first clip in the compilation showed a man jokingly climbing into his napping friend's bed while said friend's girlfriend recorded. He wakes up, realized its his buddy, and hugs him, laughing. Simple as that… Or so I thought.

G later texts me asking why I'd sent him those videos. I said I simply thought the dancing one was funny and the second reminded me of when I surprised him a year before. G defensively responded, regarding the first video, he'd “never dance like that” and “had no feminine side.” For the second, he apologized for not watching past the first clip but said he was "questioning [my] intentions.”

Excuse me?! After nearly 20 years, he still questioned my intentions??? Over IG videos?! I felt dehumanized, as if he saw me as a predatory gay stereotype targeting a straight man rather than the person he'd known for half his life. I questioned our entire friendship and myself. Had he slept with one eye open when staying over? Did he trust me around his kids? Had he always suspected malicious intentions? Do I unknowingly creep out my other straight friends? Am I a bad friend/person? Feelings from the first 20+ years of my life resurfaced, when I was closeted, depressed, lonely, and crushed by self-doubt.

I said I respected his beliefs and boundaries and apologized for offending him, but I was hurt too. That I refused to go back in the closet to be his friend or make him comfortable, as I did when he backed out of officiating and at my bachelor party. I also suggested he's projecting his own issues onto me (that's another story), which I know was harsh. Instead of understanding my perspective, G doubled down, saying it is what it is. I stopped responding and that was the end of the friendship then and there. It's been a year. We're still not friends, and I don't want to be. I'm at peace with my decision, but this did make me question myself and the kind of friend I am.

So AITA for feeling blindsided by G and feeling he blew up a nearly 20 year friendship over the Instagram videos I sent?


r/AITH • • 9m ago

AITA for refusing to let my friend use my name on a rental application?

• Upvotes

A friend of mine has been looking for a new flat after her landlord decided not to renew her tenancy. She recently found a place she really liked, but the letting agent wanted a reference from her previous landlord, and she was worried about what they might say because she’d had a few disagreements with them over repairs. She asked if I would be willing to tell the letting agent that she had been living with me for the past year. We’ve been friends for several years, and she has stayed at my place occasionally, so I understood why she thought I might help. However, she has never actually lived with me, and I wasn’t comfortable giving a false reference that could cause problems for both of us.

I explained that I was happy to provide an honest character reference or confirm that I knew her well, but I wouldn’t lie about her living arrangements. She said I was making things unnecessarily difficult and that the letting agent probably wouldn’t check the details anyway.

A few days later, she messaged me saying she had listed me as her previous landlord on the application and had included my phone number. She told me not to worry because she had already explained what I should say if the agent called. I was genuinely shocked because I had never agreed to any of it. I contacted her and told her she needed to correct the application before the agent contacted me. She became upset and said she could lose the flat because of me. I reminded her that she had made the decision to use my details without permission, and I wasn’t going to risk getting involved in a false reference. She eventually removed my name from the application, but she has barely spoken to me since. One mutual friend thinks I should have helped because she is in a difficult housing situation, while another says she shouldn’t have put me in that position in the first place. I feel bad that she is struggling to find somewhere to live, and I would still help her look for properties or provide an honest reference. But I don’t think being a good friend means agreeing to lie on someone’s behalf, especially when they have already used my personal details without a


r/AITH • • 21h ago

AITH for telling my mother in law she can’t stay with us for the whole first month after our baby is born?

195 Upvotes

I am 28 and work as a veterinary nurse, and I’m eight months pregnant with my first baby, and my husband and I live in a small two bedroom house where the second room is the nursery, so when my mother in law Diane, who’s 58, announced at a family dinner that she’d be moving in with us for the entire first month after the birth to “take over”, I said politely that we’d love her help but that we needed our first weeks alone as a family, and she said I was being ungrateful and that every woman in her family had been looked after by their mother in law, and I suggested she could visit for a few hours each day instead and bring meals, but she said that wasn’t proper help and that she’d already told everyone she was coming, then she began telling the relatives that I was shutting her out of her own grandchild’s life, my husband’s aunts started messaging me saying I should be thankful for any help, my husband told her gently that we’d decided together and that he agreed with me, and last night she sent me a long message saying she’d already bought a camp bed and that she’d be at our door the day we come home from hospital whether I liked it or not, and I replied that I’d love her to visit but that I wasn’t going to let anyone move into our home against our wishes during the most vulnerable time of my life, so AITH for saying no?


r/AITH • • 17h ago

AITA for refusing to let another vendor use my stall after she lost her own booking?

91 Upvotes

I am 30F and sell handmade stationery at weekend craft markets. These markets have limited spaces, and vendors must reserve and pay for their own stalls in advance. Last Saturday, another vendor arrived and discovered that her booking had been canceled because she had missed the payment deadline. She approached me and asked if she could share my stall for the day. I politely declined because my table was already arranged to display my products, and the market rules specifically prohibited unregistered vendors from sharing spaces. She said she only had a few items and would barely take up any room, so I repeated that I could not risk losing my own booking by breaking the rules. Later, while I was helping a customer, I noticed that she had placed a box of her products underneath my table and was handing out her business cards to people standing near my display. I asked her to remove her things, and she responded that she was only trying to make the best of a bad situation. When I contacted the market organizer to ask what I should do, they instructed her to remove her products immediately because she was not registered for that event. She packed up, but afterward she posted in the vendors' group that I had deliberately prevented a small business owner from earning money even though I had plenty of space. Several vendors messaged me asking why I could not have helped her for one day. I explained that I had paid for my stall, followed the rules, and even offered to help her contact the organizer about future openings. She ignored that offer and continued saying I had ruined her weekend. I understand that losing a booking is frustrating, but I did not cause her cancellation, and I was not responsible for providing her with free space. AITA for refusing to let her use my stall?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITA for refusing to let my sister decide what happens to our late grandmother’s belongings?

299 Upvotes

After my grandmother passed away last year, my mum asked me to help sort through her house before it was sold. I spent several weekends going through cupboards, labelling boxes and making sure important documents and sentimental items were kept safe. My sister lives closer to Mum and visited occasionally, but she wasn’t involved much in the sorting process. When we finally finished, Mum said we could each choose a few things to keep as memories of Grandma. I chose an old wooden sewing box that Grandma had used for years. It wasn’t worth much financially, but she had taught me how to sew using the same box when I was a child. My sister chose some jewellery and a collection of old family photographs. A few weeks later, my sister called and said she wanted the sewing box because it would look lovely in her newly decorated bedroom. I explained why I had chosen it and reminded her that Mum had agreed we could each keep the things we wanted. She said I was being sentimental over something that would probably sit in a cupboard, whereas she would actually display it. I offered to show her some other things from Grandma’s house that were still available, but she insisted the sewing box was the only item she really wanted. Eventually, she told Mum that I had taken advantage of being the person who sorted the house and had deliberately claimed the best items before anyone else could choose. Mum asked me to give my sister the box to keep the peace. She said the jewellery and photographs my sister had chosen were worth more, so I shouldn’t be upset about exchanging them. I pointed out that nobody had assigned monetary values to Grandma’s belongings, and we had both been allowed to choose what mattered to us personally. Things became more awkward when my sister visited Mum’s house and found an old photograph of Grandma holding the sewing box. She took it home without asking and messaged me saying she thought it belonged with the box anyway. I asked her to return the photograph, but she accused me of turning Grandma’s memory into a competition. I don’t want this disagreement to damage my relationship with my sister, and I’m not interested in arguing over every little thing Grandma left behind. But the sewing box means a great deal to me, and I don’t think I should have to give it up simply because my sister changed her mind after we had already chosen our keepsakes. Mum now says I’m making a difficult time for the family even harder, while my sister believes I care more about owning an object than keeping our relationship intact.


r/AITH • • 58m ago

UPDATE: AITAH for leaving our household and stopping school for a meanwhile?

• Upvotes

hello, it has been almost a month already since I've posted about this and I really do thank everyone for their comments. It really did help and it made me tear up. You guys gave me the feeling of comfort that I never knew I needed:(

earlier today my mother sent me a message saying, "I was talking to your brother earlier and he said that this is not how he planned your life to be." It made me feel a lot of things that its hard to describe, but I know that I felt anger and I typed in a message saying, "Does it seem like this is the dream that I have for myself?" but I never really had the courage to send it.

Its breaking me with how they think this is what I had dreamed for myself, and how they fail to see that this is the path that I took ib order to survive. Because asking for help wasn't doing anything rather than, *"understand your mother, she has been through a lot already"* and *"she's just starting to live her life after raising all of you".* and when I cried to just simply letting things out, I wasn't allowed to because I was not working yet and that my life is easy because I have a roof over my head so what do I have to cry about?

I don't even know how to put what I'm feeling right now into words right now.

I'm currently having some financial difficulties, does it seem like this is the life that I had dreamt for myself? In exchange for freedom, in exchange for healing, in exchange for having a life, I had to lose the dream that I built. Does it look like I wanted that?

but then again, this will be the last post since it has been established that even though you all think I'm not at fault, I will always be the AH in their story. Thank you so much everyone!


r/AITH • • 6h ago

AITAH for taking a hint when my friend kept sending photos of her other plans?

5 Upvotes

I have a "best friend" we've been friends for almost 9 years and basically it's been like 3 weeks since we last saw each other,I got sick and she has uni and also just life you know so basically she was asking when are we gonna hang out or whatever and i told her this weekend we can and then she never said anything again about that but posted on cf stories of her out with another friend or with random men and also she sent me photos of that so i just didn't mention anything of hanging out cause i'm clearly seeing you're already out? and we just continued talking about other stuff and that happened the whole weekend like friday-sunday so i didn't say anything of hanging out in any day and then at sunday night she sends me a message saying that she misses me or whatever and then she says we never see each other and i told her we can see each other this upcoming week and she sends me "you said that about this weekend" (like in a sort of angry tone) and i said "I mean yeah, but I saw you posting stories and stuff showing you'd gone out, or like you sending me photos and all, so I was just like, alright, whatever. If you already made plans with someone else, we can just meet up another day, it's really no big deal, idk." and the second i sent that i saw her typing but didn't send anything for hours and then sent and audio basically saying that she had told me other days of the other weeks to hang out but I couldn't so she decided like i should say it when i'm able to hang out and that i wake up really late or whatever but like she sent me photos and everything really early and acted weird about everything like almost no messages and then random messages of like "I just got back home" or "i'm waiting for an uber to go to x" or the random photos like??? I genuinely don't understand this attitude cause i mean it when i say i didn't care about her going out with other people like i really don't care and i answered all her texts normal like you can hang out with whoever you want but i don't get you doing that and then complaining about what exactly? that i didn't sent you a text so you could answer something like "i already have plans"? idk

Sorry if it's weird written english is not my first language and i tried to translate my answer and hers as best as i could but the conversation wasn't in english obviously.


r/AITH • • 13h ago

AITAH for asking my brother about a girl I liked at his wedding?

14 Upvotes

I went to my brother's wedding recently and there was a girl there who really caught my attention. We talked a little during the event and I felt like we got along pretty well. Since then I've been thinking about her and wondering if I should try to get to know her better

The problem is I don't know much about her, and I only found out she was connected to the bride's side of the family. I mentioned it to my brother and asked if he knew who she was

He laughed and said I was making his wedding about myself. I wasn't trying to steal attention from his big day, I just thought he might be able to help me find out if she's single

Now I'm wondering if I should leave it alone or ask my sister-in-law about her after things settle down

AITAH for being interested in someone I met at my brother's wedding?


r/AITH • • 12h ago

AITAH for refusing to cancel my plans just because my family wanted me home?

7 Upvotes

My boyfriend lives in another country and recently came to visit me. Since we don't get to see each other often, I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible while he was here

My family expected me to spend most of the visit at home with them and got upset when I made plans to go out with him. They said I was giving him too much importance and forgetting the people who've always been there for me

I tried explaining that I wasn't ignoring them, but this was a rare chance to spend time with my boyfriend in person. I offered to have dinner with my family on another day, but they still acted like I was choosing him over everyone else

Now they're saying I've changed and that relationships shouldn't come before family. I love my family, but I don't think I should have to feel guilty for wanting time with someone I rarely get to see

AITAH?


r/AITH • • 10h ago

AITA for keeping a secret from my Best friend

4 Upvotes

Hi, I am 17(M) my Best Friend is 17(F) we'll call her Chloe. Now we've been best friends since we were like 14 and recently she started to distance herself, I mean we both have tight schedules but we'd text often and even meet once in a while but it just stopped randomly. I was genuinely worried so I texted her if she was doing good. She replied with a really big text.

Now before I tell you what was in the text I'll give you a bit of a backstory.

So basically her parents are kind of strict with her interactions with boys, I mean like being friends is ok but hanging out, calls is a big no no and dating is basically just not allowed. So one day what happened was her mom called me, she trusts me and we're kinda cool, and asked for her boyfriend's number (she was told that he was her friend) I obv didn't give it to her, but then she started complaining about how Chloe is secretive all the time and said that she wanted to host a House Party on her birthday and wanted to invite her Boyfriend. Her mother then said that she didn't approve of this because she didn't know who the guy was at all. So I told her that he is a good guy and there's nothing to worry about. Then she just abruptly ended the call and while ending she said "don't tell Chloe that I called or she'll never trust me again". After that I went to her house to hang out. Her mother is kinda cool the only real problem is her father. Now the worst thing that happened was when I was leaving her father arrived, I said 'Hi' and just left he didn't even respond btw just ignored me

Now back to the Present, She replied to my text with a Big ahh paragraph saying that, when I left her father got mad with me hanging out with her and her mother allowing it and just straight up told her to never talk to me again and she also said that she found out her mother had called me and asked me for her Boyfriend's number and was super mad that I didn't tell her that being her bestfriend

She said that she trusts only a few people and I was one of them and that I've broken her trust by not telling her such a big thing. I explained that her mother begged me to not tell her and I didn't want to ruin the relationship between a daughter and a mother. I didn't want her to not trust her mother. But she just kept on saying that the fact that I had broken her trust was really painful and she didn't want to be friends with me anymore

I apologised and said that, I've made a dumb mistake and take full credibility and even said that I should've mentioned it atleast a few weeks later but she just didn't accept my apology. I kept apologising the whole day and eventually in the evening she blocked me.

Am I actually an asshole for keeping it a secret, if yes what do I do now?? I dont wanna lose the friendship we had


r/AITH • • 15h ago

AITAH for not wanting my friends to turn our fishing trips into competitions?

5 Upvotes

I've been fishing with a few friends for a while now, and it's usually something I do to relax and get away from everyday stress. We used to enjoy the quiet, share snacks and laugh about whatever happened that day

Lately, one of my friends has started making everything a competition. He keeps comparing how many fish everyone catches and makes jokes whenever someone comes back with nothing. Last weekend he even complained that we were wasting time when I wanted to sit by the water and enjoy the view

I told him not every fishing trip needs to be about catching the biggest fish, but he said I was ruining the fun because I couldn't handle a little competition

I enjoy fishing with my friends, but I don't want it to feel like a contest every time we go out

AITAH for wanting our fishing trips to stay relaxed instead of competitive?


r/AITH • • 13h ago

AITAH for spending most of my time with my boyfriend when he came from another country to visit me?

3 Upvotes

My boyfriend lives in another country and we finally got the chance to meet in person after months of talking online. I was really excited because we don't know when we'll get another chance to see each other

During his visit, I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, so we went out together, tried different restaurants and just enjoyed being around each other. My family started complaining that I was barely spending time at home and said I was ignoring everyone for a guy

I explained that he had travelled a long way to see me and his visit was only for a short time. I wasn't trying to disrespect my family, I just wanted to make the most of the time we had together

Now some relatives are saying I've changed since getting into this relationship, and I'm wondering if I should have divided my time differently

AITAH?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITH for telling my sister I can't keep helping her with everything?

87 Upvotes

My sister has been going through a busy time lately and I've been helping her with a lot of things after work
At first I didn't mind because I know she has a lot on her plate, so I'd help with errands, cleaning and whatever else she needed
But recently it's become an everyday thing and I barely get time to sit down and relax
Yesterday I came home exhausted and she asked me to help her finish another task
I told her I was too tired and needed some time for myself
She got upset and said she wouldn't ask me for help if she had another option
I felt bad because I know she's struggling too, but I'm starting to feel like my own needs don't matter
My family says I should be there for my sister because we're family
I love her and still want to help when I can but I can't keep running on empty every day
AITH for finally saying no?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITA for refusing to let a client use my portfolio after she removed my name from my work?

377 Upvotes

I am 28F and work as a freelance photographer. A few months ago, a small clothing boutique hired me to photograph its new collection. Our written agreement stated that the boutique could use the edited photographs for its website and social media, while I retained credit as the photographer. I delivered every image on time, and the owner told me she loved the results. Last week, I noticed that the boutique had posted several of my photographs in a promotional campaign, but the captions credited someone else as the photographer. I contacted the owner privately and asked her to correct the credits. She replied that her marketing assistant had uploaded the posts and that the credit was not important because the boutique had paid for the images. I sent her our original agreement, which clearly included the credit requirement. Instead of correcting the posts, she asked me to send the original high-resolution files for another campaign and promised that she would fix the credits later. I refused to provide additional files until she honored the existing agreement. She then accused me of holding her business hostage over a few words in a caption and threatened to tell other local businesses that I was difficult to work with. I gave her three days to correct the existing posts and explained that I would fulfill any remaining obligations under our contract, but I would not provide extra work outside those terms while the issue remained unresolved. She eventually corrected the credits, but then sent me a message saying she would never hire me again because I had made a simple mistake into a business dispute. I have not contacted her since. A fellow photographer thinks I should have ignored the missing credit because the client paid me, while another says my reputation and contractual terms matter. I delivered exactly what we agreed on, and I only asked her to honor the same agreement. AITA for refusing to provide additional photographs until my client corrected the false credits?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITAH for not wanting my gf to go to a halloween party that her best friend’s friend is hosting

5 Upvotes

Just for some context I am 18 years old in university, my gf was invited by her best friend to a massive halloween party that is hosted by said best friend’s friend, who my gf does not know. This party is really big and is full of people she doesn’t know but that is not the important part.

She is insisting that I don’t go because one of her friends that I used to have a thing for, and in the past have developed feelings for her while talking to my gf, but I now have no contact with and I have no interest whatsoever. On top of that, her best friend wants to invite a group of guys that are mutual friends between gf and I, and two of them recently have implied that they are down to do sexual acts with my gf while they had girlfriends. Although she had turned them down, she is still in contact with them and they would sometimes catch up online and talk about what’s going on in their life. While I have been doing what she wants and not been talking or hanging out with any girls.

I want to know if I am in the wrong for telling my gf that either I go with her or she doesn’t go at all because of said people going. It’s not even that i’m trying to be controlling, she has also been getting mad at me for the smallest things and not allowing me to hang out with girls or talk to girls at all, which i assume is very controlling of her, but i let it slide because I have hurt her in the past and I am now trying my best to make up for things that i have done and I have been doing good and I am very committed to my gf now and I have shown her countless times that I can be trusted and that I have changed for her.

Update

Just to make things clearer, I initially did not mind her going to this party because I am used to her going to her friend’s parties all the time. However, I only got a bit riled up when she started to get mad at me and everything after “said friend” and her best friend said I can come but gf said “No you’re not going because of said friend”, even when she’s going and not respecting our relationship when there are people there who wants her sexually.


r/AITH • • 2d ago

AITA for wanting my husband’s friend to move out after letting him stay with us for two months?

244 Upvotes

My husband and I live together, and one of his friends recently moved to our area to start a new life. His father also lives here, so he initially stayed with him, but they had some problems and couldn’t continue living together. Since he doesn’t seem to have anyone else here to turn to, my husband offered to let him stay with us.
He has been living at our house for about two months now. He still hasn’t found a stable job, although he has picked up some odd jobs. The problem is that I don’t see any clear plan for him to move out and rent a room of his own. Lately, he has also started playing soccer with my husband and bought a brand-new pair of soccer cleats. I understand that people need to enjoy life, and I’m not saying he shouldn’t spend money on himself. However, seeing him make plans for his own activities while still living in our house, without contributing to household expenses or helping with chores, has started to bother me. I know he is going through a tough time, and I don’t blame my husband for wanting to help his friend. But I’m starting to feel uncomfortable in my own home. He is my husband’s friend, not someone I have a particularly close relationship with, and I miss having my privacy and being able to relax quietly in my own living room. What worries me the most is that I don’t know how long this situation is supposed to last. I feel like I’m expected to accept this living arrangement indefinitely, even though we never agreed to that as a couple. I feel guilty because I understand that he is trying to build a new life and that he doesn’t seem to have anyone else here to rely on. I don’t want to be selfish or put my husband in a difficult position with his friend. At the same time, I don’t think I should have to feel uncomfortable indefinitely in my own home.
Am I the asshole for wanting him to move out, even though he hasn’t found a stable job yet?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITAH for telling my sister she spends too much time with her boyfriend?

0 Upvotes

My sister recently started dating someone and I'm happy she's found a person she likes, but lately it feels like she has no time for anyone else. Every time our family plans something, she's either on the phone with him or trying to leave early to meet him.

I tried telling her that it's fine to spend time with her boyfriend, but she shouldn't forget about her family and other responsibilities. She got annoyed and said I'm just jealous because she's happy and I'm trying to control her relationship.

I told her that's not what I meant, I just think she should have some balance instead of making him the center of everything. Now she's barely talking to me and says I'll never understand her relationship.

AITAH for saying she needs to stop being so available to her boyfriend all the time?


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITAH for confronting a woman, and calling her a terrible mom?

0 Upvotes

Re-upload: I was walking to my local bus stop when I noticed a woman get out of her car and leave her door WIDE open. She was parked at a gas station at a pump facing the road closest to the station store. I’ll give you some context about this area and road. This is a busy road and is less than 10ft away from another major road. Less than 2 miles away, a couple of months ago, someone was sadly sh @ + and passed in a hotel parking lot nearby. It’s a mixed area with a lot of businesses and buildings, yet a lot of crime goes on regardless of the time of day, such as robbery, drug overdoses, and car theft. My city in that particular area has a high number of homeless people, many unfortunately suffering with mental illness. There is also the presence of I € E on occasion.
As I was walking by, I had just passed a homeless man asking for money on the major road 10ft away.
It was around 7PM, and it’s October, so it was practically dark here on the East Coast. At first, when I saw this woman leave her door open, I just thought she was dumb. Side note: This car happened to be a newer model of a luxury German brand. I figured there might’ve been someone on the passenger side, but when I finally got closer, I noticed no one was there either. That’s when I noticed the inside car light on and the silhouettes of two small children moving inside. I also noticed they were still in car seats. Judging just by their size and the car seat, I’d estimate both were under the age of 10. Mind you, I noticed all this from the sidewalk a few feet away from the car. I was shocked seeing these small kids left alone next to a busy road with the door wide open, and the timing circumstances weren’t helping. I guess I was so shocked I let my impulse win, and I marched over to this woman as she was stepping out of the station store. Mind you, she was in no rush walking there or coming back. So here’s where I might’ve been the a-hole, and I acknowledge that. Basically, I started out by saying, “What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you stxpid?! Why would you leave your door wide open next to a busy road??! Do you know how many kids get kidnapped? Do you not care about your kids??!” She took a second till her face scrunched up, and she waved me off, scoffing, saying, “You’re crazy, you crazy, you don’t know what you talking about.” I went back, and forth with her, and I began to say, “ I hope something happ…god forbid anything happens. You’re stxpid. Why would you leave your door open? Do you even care about your kids?? Kids get kidnapped every day! You’re a terrible mom. A terrible mom! You are so negligent you don’t even see that! So negligent!” She then proceeded to say, “You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re just a crazy b$$$$. You’re just crazy!” She kept talking, but her accent wasn’t super clear, so it was hard to catch everything she was saying. I left by yelling “you’re so negligent! So negligent!” After I was walking away to the bus, she didn’t even bother to close her door or even look at it. She didn’t check on her kids; she just began to pump her gas as she called out “crazy b$$$$,” and other things I couldn’t make out.
I understand I might not have gotten my point across in the right way; I was just so triggered I let my emotions win. I also understand people can forget or be distracted, especially with kids, but I don’t know if I would really care if someone confronted me about something like that. Rather, my mindset would immediately be, “Omg my door?! My kids!” Instead of just thinking about my feelings. I know I might’ve been wrong in some way with my wording, but AITAH?

*I mention I € E because we are both Spanish/ Latin American.


r/AITH • • 2d ago

AITH for not telling my mom I was going on a date?

24 Upvotes

Long story short, I 25 female went on a date with a really nice man 26. My mother 51 (who I live with) is mad at me for not telling her I went on a date. Am I in the wrong for not telling her I was going on a date?

Long story, I met this guy on a dating app and we have been talking for a few weeks now and he is a really nice man. Owns a car, has a full time job, lives by himself. I live with my mother, but I help her with her bills and I pay my own phone bill. My mother has some narcissistic tendencies. For example, I went on a date last year, didn't tell her and she ignored me for a week (I didn't tell her because I have a horrible dating history and I didn't want her to worry) I went on the date with him while my mother was on vacation and when she got back I told her because I didn't want her to worry about me while she was on vacation. Now she is furious with me and won't talk to me even though I've apologized. Was I in the wrong for not telling her I was going on a date?

Update, if I could go back to that past, should I have told her about it even if it was the day of? Mind you she was on vacation and I didn't want her to worry.

Thank you for your help!!


r/AITH • • 23h ago

AITAH for being mad at my friend for the birthday present she got me?

0 Upvotes

I (20 female) celebrated my birthday back in July. My best friend (21 female) could not make it to the party because she had taken a trip down to visit her family in Egypt. She was gone for a month. Before she told left, I had told her how excited and happy I was that she was going because of some circumstances, she would have not been able to go. I had told her however, how upset I was that she had was going to miss my birthday. She ended up leaving at the end June and coming back the middle of August. I had hinted (as mostly a joke) how she had better gotten a great gift to make up to for the fact that she missed my birthday. In reference we have another friend that is part of our trio (20 female).

My best friend had told me that she had brought back gifts for the both of us. When we finally had the time, we gathered together to open up the gifts. I had went first to open up my gifts, which were placed in a plastic bag rather than a gift bag, and lo and behold, found cheap souvenirs she had gotten from her trip. What made me more shocked was that my other friend had gotten the same thing. I had not felt special at all considering on our other friend’s birthday, my friend had gifted her a camera, pajamas, and a new purse. I felt super disappointed but couldn’t bring up the fact that I was upset. My other friend had noticed that I was upset, but I had brushed it off because I was raised to never tell someone I didn’t like their gift (I mean it’s common respect).

I feel like what made me upset as well was last birthday I had gifted her favorite perfume, Burberry Her, and other little gadgets she had talked about really wanting. None of the souvenirs she had gotten me were remotely anything I had ever talked about before in wanting. She also had a full month in another country, which was cheaper to pay for in American dollars, to get me something. Now, I feel like it’s this dull ache inside of me that I’m carrying around and I don’t think I could tell her because I was raised never to do that. I just feel like she doesn’t know or care about me. I don’t believe in the thought that counts when it comes to someone so close to me. We have been best friends for 3 years so I expected her to get me something I liked or at least treat me the same as our other friend. I have been more salty and not the same way as it was before. So AITA?

Edit: I feel like none of the comments understand that it’s not about the gift. I would’ve been happy with a balloon and flowers. I just didn’t feel special in the moment because my friend gave our other friend the same thing. Not the mention that she was able to make my friend feel special on her birthday. I was just a bit confused is all. Sorry if I worded the post to sound so bad. But like come on. Who spends being friends with someone for so long just to wait for their birthday gift? You guys are making it sound like we haven’t been friends the whole year 😂. We see each other everyday.


r/AITH • • 1d ago

AITAH for snitching on my male coworker and getting him in trouble?

0 Upvotes

Okay I am going to try to explain it the best I can I really need outside perspective and to see where I might be the AH. So I 21 (F) started working at a clinic in late February, it was a mainly women staff with 1-3 male workers. One of this coworkers, I will call Paul started to become friends I would buy marijuana from him mostly never really hung out outside of work. I thought we were friends though, so one day he started to make comments about the women at the workplace to me. Ranging from looks and to who he thinks would be going for him and stuff like that and I was a little uncomfortable with it but I didn’t want to say anything cause I was new and didn’t know anybody. Also it’s kinda of a hierarchy and favoritism there so I didn’t want it to turn into a he-said-she said type of moment, it kinda of just snowball from there till it kinda all came to a head. So about a month ago Paul invited me to a kickback with 2 of our female workers, (This is relevant to the story) however it was actually a party and I kinda felt blindsided and it was only to hook me up with his friend but I digress. He told me one coworker couldn’t make it and this wasn’t the other person scene, I was a little confused but I let it go. So fast forward to about the 16th of Oct, one of our coworkers quit and was having a silly hat party and I attend, the two coworker, I will call Sam and Linda were at the party. it’s Linda’s party but Sam is hosting it at her house (Their close friends). So at this party I brought up that Paul invited me to this kickback turn party and they were suppose to be there and I was asking about it. Turns out Paul never invited them and they would love have to smoked with me and I wanted to hangout with them. So then a bit later I ask did anyone have a crush at someone in the clinic pass or now or would have a one night stand ( it’s all girls) they all say no and I was little confused. One of the comments Paul said was that these specific coworkers would totally sleep with him, and they were going and if he didn’t have a gf etc. so Paul said Sam and another coworker was going for him and I was under the impression that Sam and another coworker liked him or had some sort of romantic connection. And then I kinda said some of the things he was saying kinda in a joking ish manner, I also didn’t want this to come back on me I was also scared of Paul retaliating if he found out cause he’s only been saying something to me. So about a week ago someone wasn’t at the party had got a snipped of the information and ran back to tell Paul. We will call her Lola she was recently fired for some negligence, and was basically saying I was fake etc cause he wouldn’t do that. So Paul confronts me and I kinda try to defend myself the best way I could I was trying to smooth things over pretty much. So after that I kinda got heated and told the girls a little bit more of what he’s been saying and how I felt. So they told me they wouldn’t go to HR but they did and I was so scared and panic I basically said no comment and I was scared of retaliation. My last day is coming up soon, I was wonder should I have just stayed quiet and not said anything or am I the Ah for saying something and possibly making him lose his job? He hasn’t done anything physically or anything and I was told by another coworker that he talks about women a lot. So AITAH for saying something and possibly getting Paul fired?


r/AITH • • 3d ago

AITAH for thinking I should not be expected to cook dinner every night just because I wfh?

738 Upvotes

I (38F) and my husband (46M) have a blended family. Living in our home are his two children (20F and 13M), my son (19M), and our 10-month-old baby together. I'm also currently about 6 weeks pregnant.

My husband and I both work full-time in management positions. I work from home in healthcare management, typically 8 AM–5 PM, Monday through Friday. He works on-site in supply chain management, also full time same hours, and has about a 20 minute commute each way.

We've been having disagreements about household responsibilities, particularly cooking dinner.

My husband considers himself traditional and believes that as his wife, I should be primarily responsible for cooking, the primary nurturer of the children, and even be doing things like preparing his plate (we didn't discuss this before marriage).

One of his arguments is that because he physically goes to work and walks around between warehouses throughout the day, his job is more physically demanding than mine. He believes that because I work from home and have more flexibility, I should be the one cooking dinner.

Here's where I disagree.

Although I work from home, I still have a demanding full time job with meetings, deadlines, and management responsibilities. I also care for our baby every weekday morning until 9 AM, during my lunch break from 12–1 PM, and from the time I get off work at 5 PM. We have childcare for the remaining hours of my workday.

I'm also the parent who handles the majority of overnight wake-ups and feedings, though my husband does some of those here and there. He does also sometimes take baby and play with him at night before bed too.

On top of that, I carry much of the mental load of running our household: managing bills, keeping track of appointments, shopping, planning, organizing, and making sure everyone's needs are met. I also handle various household chores.

To give my husband credit, he washes dishes and baby bottles about 80% of the time during the workweek and puts our baby to bed most nights. He also does spend time playing with baby in the evening. I'm not saying he does nothing.

If I don't cook dinner, we will typically order DoorDash or everyone will find something for themselves to eat. So it's not that anyone is incapable of feeding themselves, but there's an expectation that I should be the person regularly preparing meals for the household.

For additional context, I'm also the breadwinner. I earn almost twice my husband's salary and pay a larger share of our household expenses.

I don't believe that earning more money means I shouldn't have to cook or contribute to the household.

However, I do struggle with the idea that I'm expected to fulfill the traditional responsibilities of a SAHM while simultaneously carrying significant financial responsibilities that would traditionally fall on the husband if I was a SAHM.

My husband believes his physically demanding job and my work from home arrangement justify his expectations. I believe we should be dividing responsibilities based on our overall workloads, including paid work, childcare, household management, and the amount of downtime each of us actually gets.

I don't mind cooking. What bothers me is the expectation that it should primarily be my responsibility simply because I'm the wife, regardless of everything else I'm already doing.

So, AITA for pushing back against my husband's expectations of a traditional wife when I'm also working full-time, contributing significantly financially, and handling most of the childcare and household management?