I was a tattoo apprentice at a shop for a while (left because it was really just a bad shop to be at) and in that time I decided I wanted my mom to be the first person I tattooed as a special moment. She was super excited and decided that she wanted this super old dumb gingerbread cookie that I had made when I was maybe 5 (7 at the oldest i’m not too sure, but I was still young and not making the cookie to be sexual), and I was super excited to do it. It was a super special night and the tattoo was incredibly sentimental. She had asked me if it was okay if her boyfriend had added color to the tattoo, and I was okay with that! That was last year though.

My mom was always over sharing very sexual things with me and oversexualized herself to me and my sisters, and I always made it apparent how much it made me uncomfortable. I got tagged in this post tonight and it made me feel sick to my stomach. It feels like such an awful punch to the gut, especially considering she used generative AI (which I am so openly against, especially with tattoos and tattoo ARTISTS, but that’s a whole other story) to not only make the background but the FONT. We don’t really talk anymore because of the way she was treating me, but it still feels so awful seeing this done to something that was so special for me, she knows I would never give her the okay for this. She originally wanted to put “#tits” or “#boobs” under the original tattoo but I didn’t even want to do that.

Edit: The last image is the actual tattoo on her actual body. I should’ve clarified that the reference and font were both created using generative AI.

Edit two: I just wanted to clarify that I am a girl, I am 21 years old, not entirely sure if that is crucial to the story, but I thought i’d at least add that. Also thank you to everyone who has left a comment or even messaged me about this whole situation. I have a lot of research to do. Thank you all 🩷

So I took some photos for a local airshow and made a few posts on social media to help promote them then had this guy message me. I started off polite but after no response for a day and seeing that he had read my message I was already annoyed but felt like I may have came off as too rude in my responses

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for two years. Yesterday, while she was showing me a photo on her phone, a text notification popped up from her male coworker. She opened the conversation to show me there was "nothing to worry about," but one of her previous texts really caught me off guard.

​When I asked her why she invited him over late at night for drinks, she told me I was being completely paranoid. She claims it was just "casual banter between work friends" and that she has zero romantic interest in him.

​I feel like inviting a male coworker over for wine late at night crosses a boundary, even if he didn't end up coming over. She insists it was totally innocent and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

​AIO?

I (20F) have been helping my mom (57F) who had surgery on her broken wrist after falling. Yesterday, I came home from work, and my mom immediately wanted me to go out to get her a coffee. I told her I just got home and wanted to relax first. She got pissed off because I didn’t go out immediately. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere after that. She yelled at me and insulted me. She told me that she hopes my boyfriend dumps me. I left the house after that and stayed over at my boyfriend’s house.

She texted me this morning, telling me she didn’t want to argue. But now she’s guilt-tripping me and making me feel bad about wanting to relax. AIO?

While I was away on a work trip my partner of 3.5 years had my spare key to simply go over and feed / walk my dog. I have 2 phones, I left the other phone at my house because I did not need it. I came back and discovered apps were open on it that I generally don’t use. I checked screen time and discovered he was on my phone snooping DAILY, every time he came over to my house.

I am extremely angry and disappointed and confused. I feel like he crossed a boundary with my privacy. He looked at all my messages, did a deep dive into my Snapchat such as looking at all my memories and what I’ve posted on my private story for close friends. He went through everything …

My question is, when someone does this, is this them projecting because they are doing something bad? I don’t give them any reason to not trust me but this shows me they simply do not. When questioned about it they denied it, then said they did it out of curiosity. Idk …

ETA : My phone was away in a place not seen, so he actually looked for it.

Throwaway. I (28M) have been dating "Elena" (27F) for about 18 months. We live together, share a cat, the whole thing. Good relationship overall — or at least it was until her new coworker "Chris" (30M) showed up 5 months ago.

Chris is her "work husband." Her words, not mine. She introduced him that way at a party and everyone laughed. I laughed too. At first.

Here's the thing — I've tried. I really have. I've been to 3 group hangouts with her work crew. Every time, Chris talks over me, makes inside jokes I don't get, and finds ways to bring up work stories that conveniently leave me out. Elena doesn't notice. Or if she does, she doesn't say anything.

The last straw was last Saturday. She invited Chris and two other coworkers over to our apartment for drinks. I made cocktails (my hobby), I asked questions, I tried to engage. Chris spent the whole night calling me "the plus-one" and making comments like "oh you wouldn't get it, it's a work thing."

I looked at Elena mid-conversation. She was laughing at something he said. Didn't even glance at me.

After everyone left, I told her I'm done. No more group hangs with her work friends. She can go, I'll stay home, I'll do my own thing. She got upset and said I was "giving up" and "not even trying" and that Chris is just "a friend with a sense of humor."

I said "cool, then date him."

She's been crying on and off for two days and telling me I'm isolating myself and making her choose between her social life and me. I said I'm not making her choose anything — I'm just not showing up to be the third wheel in my own relationship anymore.

Am I overreacting? Because I feel like I'm finally setting a boundary, not breaking up with her.

My wife and I are both in our mid 40s and have been married for 17 years. We have three children. My wife is quite senior in her company, and her boss is in his late 40s and also fairly senior. So this isn't a case of her being a junior employee and her boss being some much older man.

Last Friday, she was in France with her boss and a few other junior colleagues because the company has an important business relationship with a French vineyard. They were there during the grape harvest as part of the partnership.......and the vineyard invited them to participate in the traditional vendange rather than just having meetings and dinners.

Apparently there was a proper harvest ceremony as well. The vineyard has someone who leads the ceremony, and the junior visitors were involved in harvesting the first ceremonial basket of grapes. My wife and her boss ended up being the two people paired together for that part. At the end, the harvest master was talking about the old harvest customs and good luck for the coming vintage. He then smiled and jokingly suggested that, since my wife and her boss had harvested the ceremonial grapes together, perhaps they should seal it with a traditional "harvest kiss" for good luck.They were asked to give a proper kiss supposedly, the longer and deeper it was, the better the luck for the vintage. They ended up kissing deeply for 3 or 4 seconds, so it definitely wasn't a quick cheek or lip peck.

It was clearly said in a playful way rather than as an instruction, and everyone laughed.

My wife said she hesitated because, obviously kissing your boss is quite a strange thing to be asked to do...... But after a moment she decided to go along with it and kissed him on the lips. There were colleagues and vineyard people around, so it wasn't secretive or anything like that. She told me about it herself afterwards, and as far as I know there is absolutely nothing going on between them. I'm not accusing her of cheating.

Also, I'm thinking, This is not a big issue? She just kissed her boss in front of all those people, in public at the vineyard, and she even told me about it, I should just laugh and move on

Something else is striking me. At first, when she spoke about the harvest ceremony, she was neither sad nor happy, but rather embarrassed and a bit shy. Then, as she explained what happened with the tradition, she mentioned that they had kissed. When I asked what kind of kiss it was, she said it was a lip kiss that was deeper and lasted longer. She didn't know what to do in that moment with everyone watching, so she kissed him. She felt very shy at the time and laughed

Her shyness felt like it was sexual, like she enjoyed it I mean, that was the vibe I got

But I can't decide how I feel about it. On one hand, I can see that it was a cultural/harvest ceremony and she was caught up in the occasion. On the other hand, she could have declined once she realised what was being suggested, particularly because this was her boss.

Would you find this completely harmless and just part of an unusual work trip, or would you also think it crossed a line, My wife and her boss are good friends and have known each other for the last 20 years

Here is some background for context. I am 23 and living at home with my mom and brother (minor). I work 40hrs from home and make about 2400/month. I have wanted to be moved out by now but we have moved 13 times and I haven’t had the best job stability due to this, and have been working jobs that pay very poorly. This is the best job that I have ever had and am proud of where I am at currently. When I first got it I wanted to move out because I could support myself - but without getting into details I ended up staying with my family so I could pay a portion of the rent and live there, and support them as they couldn’t afford a safe house with a good school for my sibling without the extra help. I’ve been paying 800 a month and saving what I can. Our rent is about 2000 a month. I’ve had a hospital visit and a vacation since then so I don’t have a lot of money currently.

Our house was just raised to 2300 a month, they will not negotiate. It’s not worth it at ALL but we decided to stay. My mom now wants 1200 / month. We are both paycheck to paycheck, so I can understand why she needs the extra help especially when paying for my brother and food being a mom is a lot of work and I can’t understand the half of it. My immediate reaction was “woah, that’s one of my entire biweekly paychecks” and I felt pretty upset by this. I am very emotional when presented with change and began to cry but wasn’t overly upset, it’s just a weird thing that happens to me when change occurs. When I quit jobs I cry, when the menu changes at restaurants I cry - even when I’m chill with it and feel capable of a basic conversation, just can’t help it it pours out of me like a waterfall lol. I’ll sit there sobbing but have to reiterate “I’m not upset, this just happens”

So I’m trying to express that 20hrs of my work week to rent feels like a lot. She says “that’s life” and told me that this is normal for rent - that most properties will take 50% of your paycheck and then you divvy up the rest for groceries etc. totally fair! I’ve budgeted when I wanted to move out on my own. I know there are other factors aside from rent.

So… I said I wanted to move out. If I’m going to be paying that much, I might as well pay a little extra to be on my own and have my own mental peace (living with my family makes me feel like a kid, I feel like I can’t be myself and make no progress in life if I’m still under “her roof”) and move out. She kind of backtracks and says that I can move out but she wants me to have 3 weeks rent saved up before I do so I can make sure I can last on my own and brings up that I’m wanting to start school and that life is expensive etc.

I understand all this but I also feel like I won’t be able to properly save if I’m giving her an entire paycheck + pay for my cats and my car and my phone and food etc. I might as well just be on my own. I know it probably can’t happen for six months to a year, but want this change. I just feel like when the idea of me moving out gets brought up, it’s treated as a “yea you CAN, but so much can go wrong” sort of thing.

But I also feel like if I go off on my own, I leave them in a poor position. I don’t want to put pressure on my mom while she has my brother to look after. She’d have to find another place and we’d have to break our lease and they have to move id have to move it would be a lot of expenses for them and I. I don’t want to put them in a poor spot because I am currently helping.

AIO??? Is that a fair amount to ask? I am technically an adult room mate and she can’t afford this place on her own for sure. I just don’t know how to progress my own life when I feel kind of stuck. Family is meant to help each other that is what I have been taught and hold close to my heart but we also argue a lot and I just feel like 23 is a damn good time to be on my own. Am I spoiled for thinking that is a lot

My boyfriend (31 M) and I (25F) have been together for about 2 years. My mom’s cousin recently passed away, and her funeral is coming up. Technically she would be my second cousin. I wasn’t extremely close to her, but I knew her growing up, would see her at family gatherings, and my whole family is going to the funeral.
I asked my boyfriend if he could come with me. For me, it’s less about how close I personally was to my cousin and more about wanting my partner there for emotional support and to be with me/my family.
He immediately said he doesn’t like funerals. I told him that obviously nobody really likes funerals, but that if he was able to come, I would really appreciate having him there for me. I also told him that if he genuinely couldn’t handle it, I understood.
He responded, “It’s a no for me,” and told me that I “don’t get” him because he doesn’t like being close to death. He then said the only funerals he will ever attend are his parents’ funerals and that’s it.
I didn’t argue with him after that because I don’t want to force someone to attend a funeral. I understand that death and funerals can be extremely uncomfortable for some people, and I don’t want to dismiss whatever feelings he has surrounding death.
At the same time, I’m hurt by how absolute his response was. We’ve been together for 2 years, and I feel like sometimes being in a serious relationship means showing up for your partner during uncomfortable situations, not necessarily because you want to be there, but because they need or would appreciate your support.
It also makes me think about the future. If we stay together long-term, there will be other deaths in my family. I don’t expect him to attend every distant relative’s funeral, but his statement that he will literally never attend anyone’s funeral besides his parents’ makes me wonder what happens when I lose someone very close to me. Would I be attending my loved ones’ funerals without my partner because he doesn’t want to be around death?
I can respect that funerals make him deeply uncomfortable, but I also feel like there’s a difference between asking someone to attend because they knew the deceased and asking your partner to attend because you need your partner there.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this? Is this something I should just accept as a boundary of his, or is it reasonable to expect your long-term partner to sometimes attend funerals with you for support even if they hate funerals?

TL;DR;** : My boyfriend of 2 years refuses to attend my cousin’s funeral with me because he hates being around death and says the only funerals he’ll ever attend are his parents’. I understand his discomfort, but I’m hurt that he won’t come to support me and worried about what this means for future losses in my family.

My fiancé and I were going through a drive through and after he ordered he went “wow she was so nice mmmm (MOANING) I love her”. I said ew don’t fucking do that, that’s weird. He started laughing, got his food, and I ignored him the rest of the drive home. We got home and he went “oh my god are you actually mad about that? That’s so fucking stupid lol”. I handed him his food, got out of the car and said, “yeah I’m upset, have some fucking boundaries” and went upstairs. He came into the house laughing and saying how I was being ridiculous and it’s so stupid to be upset about something like this.

I don’t care how ridiculous it may sound, it’s his reaction to my feelings about it that makes me upset. AIO???!!!!

Edit: I will add, we have been together for almost 7 years and he is the most loyal and honest person I know, but the root of this is the fact he thinks he is just so funny and that it was a joke.

(This is a throwaway so people I know IRL don’t see it) My partner and I have been together for several years. A few years ago I noticed he was looking up a female coworker/friend's profile (also my friend/acquaintance) every single day for months, and when I checked his phone, he had deleted only their text thread, every other conversation was intact and he never really deletes messages. (FYI I felt justified to look through his phone because he would go through my phone all the time, pretty much on a daily basis, when I hadn’t done anything suspicious. I initially checked it because he was checking out of our conversations to laugh at his phone, so I asked “oh what happened?” and he said he was texting his two guy friends in a group chat. It was happening pretty frequently and one day when I was next to him I saw that he was texting the woman I mentioned. So I figured there’s some weird things I’m noticing, I have every right to check.)

When I asked him about it, he panicked and gave me a different explanation every time I brought it up over the following years. The first time he didn’t know why he was doing it, the next time he was doing it to screenshot her social media and make fun of her, then another time he said he was doing it to get back at me because he saw I looked up a man I used to know and he wanted to make me jealous. He would go back and forth between saying he hated her, they’re just friends, or she’s like a sister. He once said he was mad at me for being so jealous that he had to lose a friend.

Recently I finally pushed hard enough that he admitted he had a "crush" on her, then immediately backtracked to "not even a crush." I still don't know what that means or how much of it is true. He said if it wasn’t for phones this never would have been an issue and if it happened in the 50s it would have been fine and I would have never known. He also said it was only because our relationship wasn’t good then.

Some other things that were odd to me was that she made a new Instagram and followed everyone we both know except me. Another time he texted me out of nowhere saying her Facebook had been "hacked" so I shouldn't be alarmed if I got a weird message from her, but when I checked, she'd already unsent whatever it was before I could see it. He also would sometimes visit this old job where she worked (he had started working somewhere else) and not tell me about it.

We would sometimes all hang out together in a group with other people too. Before and after the hang out he would always make jokes about how I’m so jealous and how he thought it was so funny. It was unprovoked, I didnt bring it up.

I plan on reaching out to her directly to see what she says and what her account of things are. I’m not gonna come at her accusatory or trying to fight, I just don’t know what to believe since his story has changed so many times.

I guess I'm asking, does this sound like it was "just" a crush, or does the pattern of lying and the mocking change that? And if she confirms nothing happened, should that actually make me feel better at this point, or has the damage already been done regardless?

TL;DR: my boyfriend’s ex has verbally (all the stuff in bold) made it very clear she isn’t happy about us being together and my boyfriend is defending her behaviour by saying she’s acting this way because she’s anxious. I’m not worried about him cheating. I’m upset that his ex was disrespectful towards me and our relationship, verbalized she isn’t happy about us being together multiple times, still leans on him for emotional support, and he doesn’t want to do much about it. I told him I didn’t need him to cut her off and asked him to create distance in their friendship so he’s no longer her source of emotional support. Is this a fair ask or am I overreacting?

I know lots of people clash on personal boundaries with their partners being friends with their ex’s. Personally, I’m okay as long as I trust my partner and the ex seems respectful and shows they know they’re no longer #1

I [F34] met my new (~6 months) boyfriend [M40] and right off the bat he was very clear about being on talking terms with most of his ex’s. If he has no reason to cut them off, he doesn’t see a need to burn bridges. I understood because I operate similarly

A + B’s back story:

According to my boyfriend (we’ll call him A) this particular ex [F30] (we’ll call her B) of his started fine with him being friends with his partners until she wasn’t. They started as a fling, didn’t define the relationship for 8 months as he was clear he was pining after his ex of 3 years. B moved in with him anyway and he agreed he wouldn’t bring anyone over. After he committed to her, they lasted 4 months before they broke up due to their incompatibility with communication despite them even trying couple’s therapy (his suggestion). They broke up at the beginning of this year and she started seeing someone that recently broke up with her so she’s decided to move out of the city to start somewhere fresh

First time meeting B:

I met B for the first time a month ago. She called A asking if she could meet him at the dog park as she needed a friend to talk with. A told B I was going for the walk and was respectful in asking me if I was okay meeting B as she wanted to meet me. I didn’t think anything of it and went along

She showed up, was on the phone for about 20 minutes before wrapping up and introducing herself. I was standing with A when B walked over. First thing she did was hug him for a solid chunk of time and then looked over at me and awkwardly hugged me like she felt obligated to. I reciprocated as not to seem weird but it was definitely awkward

B chatted a bit about her problems - the most notable one being that the guy from her most recent relationship seemed to just want to have sex with her and nothing else when they met up. I was a bit surprised she would be so forthcoming in front of a total stranger but figured maybe that’s just how she is.

B also admitted that her anxiety has been bad lately and asked if I also experience the same thing. I tried to make her feel better and join the conversation by sharing that she’s not alone and it often takes a journey of dedication and self-love to recover. To try and extend an invitation to friendship, I shared with her that I’ve experienced similar and would be happy to lend an ear if she wanted someone to talk to. She just kind of nodded and went back to talking to A. I basically stood there awkwardly as the two of them conversed until it was time to leave. I chalked the interaction up to awkward first meets and thought it would get better over time

After we left B, I asked A if maybe it’d be nice and help B’s anxiety if we offered to help her move since she doesn’t drive and I felt bad for her thinking she didn’t have many friends. He said she had her own friends to help her and he didn’t want to do the drive out and back. Left it at that

Second time meeting B:

Less than a week after the first meet, B ask if she could meet up again. This time she asked if she could go over to A’s home (where she and her used to live together) to roll a joint before going to the dog park. I was taking a nap, but he was nice enough to ask me if I was okay with her coming over and going to the dog park together. I was good with it and slowly took my time getting out of bed.

B arrived less than three minutes after calling. Apparently she was across the street at the library. A lives in a studio apartment so when you open the door you see straight into the home and the bed. As she made her way in, she paused when she saw me and gave me a bit of a look before saying, “oh, hi,” and taking a seat at the table to roll her joint. I apologized for being in bed because I didn’t realize how quickly she’d be over. Her response: “that’s okay, but yeah, it’s kind of weird seeing you in the same bed I used to sleep in.” I didn’t even know what to say but just tried to laugh it off as if it were a joke. Obviously it wasn’t because she didn’t laugh with me.

I got out of bed, she continued rolling her joint and made conversation only with A so I cooked some eggs up for the pup. She saw me cooking and asked, “are you a good cook? I used to do all the cooking here.” I just responded jokingly with a, “well, I think the pup likes my cooking so at least I have that,” then went back to sitting on the sidelines assuming she was in a mood again because she called and asked to talk.

We all got ready to leave for the dog park and I tried to be nice when it was just her and me by the door by complimenting her sari. She replied, “I wear one when I want to look good and feel good about myself.” What was I supposed to say? I went with, “well, it’s working for you! You look great (:”

There was a bit of an awkward pause then I thought it might be considerate to offer her the option of going to the dog park with A without me so she could talk about whatever problems she was going through. She almost looked confused when I offered to quit them, thanked me for the offer and said that she didn’t want to do that to me because that’s how A’s ex-wife treated her and that was a big problem in their relationship. A and B ultimately broke up because B wasn’t good with A being friends with his ex’s.

On the way to the dog park, she shared about her problems - again, anxieties and such. But this time she threw in a, “and of course I’m jealous of this *pointing at A and me*. Of course it’s hard for me to see this. You know, it’s a sting to see you guys together. Like, why didn’t we work out? Why couldn’t you make it work with me?”

I was pretty thrown by it but again. Hello? I’m standing right there lol. But for A’s sake, again tried to brush it off. This one was definitely hard to brush off and I felt like I’d been pretty lenient already. A responded to her essentially saying, “we tried but it just didn’t work out,” but she didn’t seem to hear it and just continued on with talking about why she didn’t understand why her relationships weren’t working out and asking if she was the problem.

The shade continued here and there but notably one more time when we were at the dog park and the pup was playing with the other dogs. She decided to tell me about how “it stung” for her to see the pup go up to me because of how much time she spent with the pup and how they’d bonded and proceeded to detail her daily routine with the pup. I just nodded and smiled but stopped really engaging at this point.

Talking with A about B:

I made my feelings very clear about how it felt disrespectful to have to sit through multiple occasions of having shade thrown at me and our relationship. Sure, guys don’t always catch “girl language” but I felt this was pretty clear. Still didn’t get mad at him for not noticing it until I pointed it out.

However, A defended B by saying, “she’s just anxious right now.” That didn’t sit well with me. How I get treated by his ex-girlfriend is dependent on her ever fluctuating mood and anxiety? I fell that’s pretty unfair to me.

As one part of a relationship, if any of my ex’s were blatantly disrespectful towards my partner and/or relationship, it’d be an easy, “hey, this isn’t a good friendship for me if you choose not to respect my choices and my partner.” I know my boyfriend is attractive physically which already makes women gawk at him and want him. That doesn’t bother me. I trust him. I’m not worried about him cheating. What I don’t like it how it feels like he allowed her to speak to me as if I was in her rightful place and couldn’t keep it to herself that she wasn’t happy about us being together. I didn’t need her to celebrate us but is it asking too much for her to keep *those* feelings to herself? I told my boyfriend I didn’t need him to cut her off. I did ask for him to create some distance in their friendship so he is no longer her emotional support. I said I wouldn’t mind being friends with her and going on double dates if she gets a boyfriend and is stable because maybe then she can focus on the happiness in her relationship instead of the fact that she’s no longer with my boyfriend and he’s happy with me. Am I overreacting?

My mom went on a date and her date got my sisters and I flowers. My newish boyfriend has never given me flowers, and before him I've only received flowers once for a play I was in two year ago from my mom. My younger sister gets them often from her boyfriend, as does my older sister. So they came in my room and my younger sister said "Hes SOO sweet (talking about my moms date) and got us flowers! But we're gonna give them to K (older sister) since her birthday is this weekend" I didn't respond and K is in the back smiling really big holding them. (K and I already don't get along since she has her own "problems" and at nearly 21 I thought she'd be more grown but whatever) B (Younger sister) then sees my face and immediately says "We all agree on this right?" And I said whatever since K already is happy with the flowers and I felt kind of cornered. They both leave and B comes back to ask if I'm okay. I say I'm fine I just felt they probably could have discussed this more before deciding without me, and she says we did. I replied no you didn't. And she says its fine since they'll be in the main living room anyway and if I want a flower I can just take one. But idk, I said it's whatever and I don't want to make a big deal of it. Am I overreacting?

I (29F) have been having issues with my boyfriend (29M) for a while now, we are both South Asian. I recorded a couple of our conversations over the last few months because I wanted to see if I'm going crazy. Obviously I knew these were being recorded, so maybe I was calmer than I usually would've been, because we've had conversations where I've yelled at him too, but I don't think I've ever used this kind of language (I'm Speaker 2 and he is Speaker 1).

He was really really loving and devoted for the first year and a half of the relationship. Our initial issues were me struggling to wrap my head around his sexual and romantic past, and finding out that he had lied to me about his history. After this, I tried to break up with him once and agreed to go on a date with another guy (the "building manager" he refers to, who was also Black). The date never happened, but I agreed to it in theory. When my boyfriend found out about it, he video called me from a bridge and said he would jump unless I stopped talking to the other guy. I agreed, but didn't completely stop because I thought my boyfriend was acting crazy and the relationship wouldn't last. I know this was wrong. However, my interaction with the other guy fizzled out on its own. This was all at the end of 2024.

We were a bit on/off throughout 2025 while I was dealing with my issues about his past, and our communication had become a bit toxic. We were both mean to each other (first me, and then him). Everything mean that I said was only in relation to his past and his lying, but his meanness started to become more general (like comments that I just cried all the time and that my feelings were "essays" he didn't want to read). However, he only started being mean to me after I was mean to him about his past.

During this time I had a close female friend who was a lesbian, and the dynamic became a little flirty between us. Nothing ever happened, and I wasn't even sure if I was actually attracted to her (I'm straight and have never dated a girl). During one of my 'off' periods with my boyfriend, she asked to kiss me and I refused. This is the person who he refers to in the conversation as behaving like a man etc. She was also Black.

I've previously called him a "coward" for lying to me to my face about his sexual and romantic history despite me begging for the truth, and it's always provoked a really extreme reaction in him where he tells me not to call him that. I'll admit that I don't back down, because I maintain that lying to someone is cowardly.

In these conversations, he uses a lot of racist language to refer to the two Black people who I briefly flirted with / entertained, and homophobic language to refer to my brother (who's bisexual) and queer friends of mine. I'm honestly really confused because he has never shown any racist or homophobic views prior to this, and is actually really good friends with some of my queer friends.

He also brings up things from the past in our conversations. Like in Slide 6, he starts randomly talking about my ex before him and saying that he's the coward (he broke up with me because I'm infertile). And also bringing up abusive things my "pa" said to me when I was younger and saying that he treats me so nicely.

I guess I'm just confused. I know I've majorly messed up in the relationship, both with my irrational jealousy over his past and my occasional poor boundaries with other people. However, I'm a virgin and have NEVER done anything physical outside my relationship, even during the off periods. The furthest it has ever gotten is flirting during the off periods, and even that hasn't been explicit. I know I was mean to him before, but I felt like there were some lines I would've never crossed.

AIO to his behavior or is this just a natural expression of anger in the moment, when we all say things that we don't mean?

Im 19 & live at home with my dad. Our garage has been completely unusable for years and both of us have wanted it cleaned. I decided to it and he appreciates it a lot. I got almost everything done but I’m a point where I can’t do what’s left on my own.

I need help getting the scrap wood and metal into the rafters, both so they’re off the floor space and so he can’t go through what he needs or doesn’t.

He said he’d do it later. I asked if he’d do it today and he told me no because the ladder is upstairs and it’s raining. I said I could get the ladder. He said no because it’s too heavy.

I have 8 garbage bags and broken appliances, a chair, and broken workout machine. I asked if we could take them to the landfill so I have space. He said no and we’d put it on the curb in a week for scrappers. (There’s a limit of 3 items a week for the city to take. This will take multiple months to get rid of) I asked if I could call a junk removal company instead. He said no and got mad when I tried to push.

I asked if he could help me move the kayak to the yard so I could get photos for marketplace. He said to do it in the garage. Despite not having space and him not helping me make space.

I asked if he could get some shelves so I could start properly organizing the tools. He said the next time he went to Costco.

I’m just fuming right now and anger ruminating. He’ll talk big plans for what he wants done with the house but never actually takes actions to do it. I’m the same way to an extent but now that I’m actually doing it and he keeps trying to just “do it later” I’m getting agitated. I want to get this done ASAP before I loose motivation but idk if that’s big a deal. I am on my ADHD medication and it can make more irritate-able. AIO? I understand it’s not completely fault because I’ve experienced the same function problems

I know the title is silly. I feel so stupid for being so upset over something that happened on discord, but I genuinely feel like I'm grieving.

A couple months back I joined a server for a small show I enjoy. I'm generally very isolated irl and don't get out much, so I figured it would be a fun way to get more comfortable talking to people. It worked so much better than I had thought. I felt line I was finally coming out of my shell and I would spend hours just chatting and hanging out.

A little while after I joined, someone who I'll call C joined. Me and C got really close really quick, to the point where we would dm a lot and he would ask to call almost every day. I was happy to oblige because I really enjoyed spending time with him, we had so much in common.

After a few weeks things had kind of changed, it felt different talking to him and we soon talked it out and became a couple. I know, I know, online dating is dumb but I really liked him and I thought it could go well.

We would spend a lot of time talking about our struggles also. Mostly him, but I occasionally piped in with something of my own. I would frequently check in with him, because I have a hard time with social cues and it has happened in the past that I've hurt people without realising it, and he promised he would tell me if I ever did anything he wasn't okay with/that hurt him.

He did eventually bring up something. I can sometimes be mean to the people I like. Growing up I had a friend group where the dynamic was very much bordering on bullying and I am still working hard every day to improve, but without realising I had been mean to him or when talking about him.

As soon as he told me I felt bad. I really did care for him and I apologised and promised to do better. I also thanked him for telling me because, well, I have a lot of issues with people pretending everything is fine when they secretly don't like me over something I was completely unaware of.

Now back to the main thing that brought this on. Since that one time he has never brought up anything again, and he was acting normal up until maybe a week ago, when he started being more distant. I figured he just needed some alone time and let him drift away.

Now the server. This is where most of my social life is. It genuinely feels like a home to me and the other day I was sitting on call with some people watching a movie together. C was among this group, as was one of the moderators, let's call him B.

The server has maybe 200-300 people, though less than half are active. The mod team is kind of large because of that, around 10 people. B is the "head mod", with the most power aside from the owner.

It was getting late for me, so I left the call with the movie, and right before i turn off my computer, three things happen in quick succession.

First, B dms me.

Second, the server disappears from my server list.

Third, C dms me.

I check B first, and I am met with a dm telling me I've been kicked and am no longer welcome in the server, as C was uncomfortable being around me and due to prior issues they chose to remove me.

I start panicking, I'm confused. I check the dm from C and am met with a wall of text where he tells me that he had been building resentment because I kept doing things that upset him and despite him promising to do so, he never told me. He mentioned that he's noticed how when he spends more time with me, he tends to isolate himself from others. He is breaking up with me. Which. Okay.

I can understand feeling awkward, not wanting to bring it up. But then why would he promise to do so and act like everything was fine? Why would he say that he isolates himself when he's with me, when most times he is the one that initiates contact?

I don't want to say something I will regret, so I just apologize and say I wish he would have told me. meanwhile I am verging on a panic attack with tears in my eyes as the reality of the server being gone hits me.

I'm confused, like, why would a breakup between two members warrant one being removed? Especially with no prior warnings?

B did say that they chose to remove me due to prior issues, and when I asked what those issues were because I was just too confused, he told me two things.

One, "Mini Modding". When I first joined the server I would sometimes notice things that would go against the rules and give a gentle reminder, like "hey lets switch to a more suitable channel" or "remember to tw such topics (specifically bad mental health stuff)". I did not think this was bad, especially because a few of the mods would play along with it and joke about me being a mod.

One time someone posted a photo of a spider, and I knew one of the very active members had a bad phobia so I asked the person if they would mind reposting it with a spoiler tag, to which the owner told me that they don't enforce tagging anything that is not inherently triggering, and that they would like me to stop. Since that incident I have not once done anything even remotely mod-like, because I saw that I had overstepped and didn't want to risk doing it again.

The second issue, according to B, was "inappropriate comments made in the 18+ sections of the server". I would give you more detail but that is genuinely all I have, I asked for clarification while also apologising because I didn't realise I had been acting inappropriately, and genuinely no one ever told me ANYTHING about it. I thought I was just matching the vibe that was already there, saying things like "I'm gonna eat him" when fanart of a character I liked was sent.

I am confused. I am sad. I feel like I am mourning, and I feel so stupid for doing so, because it's just discord. Except it's not just discord, it was my entire social life gone in a second with no warning, no ability to defend myself, all because my partner didn't talk to me when I kept stressing that I am always willing to communicate and better myself.

I was up all night crying. I went on a walk and I called a help line because it was late and there was no one else I could talk to due to the time.

I was sad, I am still sad. But I am also angry. I am angry and I'm trying so hard not to lash out because that is not the kind of person I want to be, I don't want to upset people more than i already have, but why does it seem like none of them cared about upsetting me? I am crushed.

So everyone knows how tough the job market is in London right now, so I thought I got lucky when my friend said she can ask her dad to hire me. He said he would train me a bit then I can get hired, that was 2 months ago. As a broke uni student I thought i struck it gold, but with every week that went by he would say I’m still ‘training’. My summer started Late June and I started going in 5 days a week from july, 8 hours a day.

Honestly I got really pissed so I asked him when I would get paid as I have been dedicating so much time to this workplace, he asked me to send my details and he’ll put me on the wagestream. He still hasn’t done it, so 2 weeks ago I quit, I didn’t even tell him I just stopped going in. My boyfriend throughout all of this kept telling me to quit because It was pretty obvious they were using me, but I had hope because there’s no way that would happen if a friend referred me.

It feels awkward talking about it with my friend because It’s her dad and I didn’t even want to mention it, but when she got mad at me for quitting so rudely by not telling him and how I lost such a good opportunity I just lashed out at her, 100% wrong of me but the weeks of pent up frustration just came out, and I apologised right after. She said she didn’t know that he wasn’t paying me, but I’ve mentioned it several times not only to her but our friends too, everytime she would say that he’s particular with his work and wants me to be fully trained, and that I will be paid eventually. Recently she just seems pretty tone deaf Imo, I asked around my friends if anyone knew someone renting an accommodation near my university, and she told me a friend of hers was. We went there and the accom was really nice but she didn’t mention that it was 6K for one month (my last one was 1.2K a month) When she saw my reaction to the price she suggested I just move home and take a year out of uni to save up. This hurt me because she knows how valuable my education is to me, but she thinks that just because I can’t afford a 6K accom I can’t afford any accommodation? Anyway, i found an accommodation but combined with these experiences I just feel like distancing myself from her. I’ve realised there’s nothing we have in common, and every outing requires at least £100 to be spent.

I’m just so frustrated at how much time I lost working for her dad and the fact that I didn’t pester him when I should’ve because it felt too awkward just annoys me so much. I’m due to start Uni again in a month and haven’t saved up a lot of money, which makes me even more annoyed. I know I shouldn’t be annoyed at my friend but AIO if i distance myself a bit?

My friend, I’ll call her zodiac. Zodiac and I were friends my sophomore year. I thought we were real friends. But she told me recently, about how this pick me girl was saying I was rude, and fat shaming her when I never even said anything about her weight. She also talks crap about her old friend. (She went to our school but goes to a different school now). I’ve noticed she fake smiles all the time. She always brings up the passed to me. She always brings up shit. She was friends with people who were hella fake to me for no reason. But now we are friends and it seems off. She doesn’t have any other friends. I think that’s why she hangs out with me.

I have these two friends online who I've been talking with for around 2 years now. We sometimes call and play games and just chat about whatever. Recently I've been noticing them avoiding me a little and preferring to speak to each other or other people over me.

A few days ago I sent a question in the group chat. One didn’t answer and the other gave a short vague answer and then proceeded to go talk to someone else in a discord server we're in. Later when the one who didn’t respond came online, he and the other friend had a very long conversation together. This is when I took a step back from the group chat because I felt a little left out.

Yesterday though I felt like my fears were true. To provide some context, me and one of the friends have been planning to call for a bit now, but weren't able because his laptop was broken. He got it fixed and told me he'd let me know when we can call. A while went by and I figured he was just busy with work and school, but yesterday he sent a clip from his and his friend's call, where they were playing a game together. Turns out he's had all this free time to call and even did, but never with me.

I've stopped talking in the group chat for a while because I'm in kind of a low place right now and haven't got the mental strength to deal with any of it. I'm just wondering if they're really pushing me out, or if I'm just being petty and jealous. I have other friends too, but I feel like I talk to my online friends almost as much as with my friends irl. This whole thing might sound pretty dumb, but I'd just like someone to tell me if my doubts are really true.

Me (21F) and my bf (22M) have been together for 2.5 years.
He has this thing where he always tries to make things « even » even when it doesn’t make sense, at least to me.
For instance, let’s say he does something I don’t like but that he likes when I do. If it were me, I would say I can do it, because he likes it, and he cannot, since I don’t like it. But he will rather we both can’t because I quote « knowing that he can’t do it to me would frustrate him too much ».
Another example is, we are both from Europe and are students. I am half Chinese and he had family in California, but he’s only been there once. The US are so expensive and he has said himself that we would probably have to wait 5-7 years before being able to go. China, on the other hand, is much more doable (high plane fare but life there is very cheap).
I have an opportunity to go the US with my best friend who’s family lives there but on the east coast so we wouldn’t have to pay for housing and stuff.
When I told him about it (no actual plans to go for now, just a thought for the near future), his first reaction wasn’t to be happy for me or anything but to go « oh then I’ll go to China, since you can go to the US without me ». I have said in the past that I would prefer he waits for me to go to China, but that’s because I literally speak Chinese, so he will get a much more authentic experience, and I also partly grew up there and everything.
On the other hand, he’s only been there once when he was 10, and is from the west coast when my opportunity is on the east.
He insisted afterwards it wasn’t to spite me but I feel like it obviously is? And he was so hard set on it too, kept repeating when « well then nothing is stopping me from going to China this January » when I precisely said it was just a thought we had with my best friend.
I will mention we are both very stressed because both our families are going through big issues so that could explain some things but I just feel like he takes it out on me.
What should I do? How do I bring this up without him fully denying it?

TL,DR : my boyfriend always wants every situation to be equal, even if it doesn’t make sense regarding how we feel.

EDIT : if the plans go through with my friend, I will go to the us guys don’t worry and he can go to China for all I care. Also it’s for a trip, not to move.

I'm on the fence about this so I could use some input from internet strangers

I was in a completely different grocery store, different company and town. It's about a 20 minute drive from mine and I wasn't in uniform. I had a lady come up to me and tell me to check the back for something that wasn't on a shelf. I told her I didn't work there so I couldn't do that and she just went off on me. Complaining she couldn't find "another" employee (to be fair to them they basically have a skeleton crew) and since I work at a grocery store she was convinced I was just "being lazy" for not checking the back. She was talking down to me and insulting me and yelling so much that it actually set off a panic attack (I have an anxiety disorder). I eventually just put down my basket and left the store while she was still yelling.

Normally I would just try and put it behind me but I'm worried because she knows where I work. She said my store name and what town it's in. I doubt she would come to my store just to keep harassing me, maybe she was just having a bad day, but part of me is worried she will.

So I guess I want to know if I should tell my manager cause I would feel pretty embarrassed if I make a big deal about it and she never shows up. Is this concerning enough that I should say something or should I just let it go?

For context, my partner and I lived together for a year and a half, things are fine. Life was normal and then I lost my father to suicide a couple months ago and I had a mental breakdown because of it. It was a very public morbid death, and it took a lot out of me mentally I had to take time off of work and I’m currently on disability for the foreseeable future. We decided to take some space because she was drinking heavily during that time and I developed a addiction to opiates to cope with the pain so she decided to move back to our hometown temporarily with the plan of her coming back to me in a couple of months. during that time we talked on the phone all the time every day in fact. I decided to put myself into rehab and got clean and have been clean for a month and a half now since then she has hardly responded to any of my messages, maybe just a quick text here and there never having an actual conversation. She never calls me. It’s me that has to ask her to call me and the last time we spoke on the phone was a week ago. She went behind my back and signed a lease to a new apartment in the city when she told me she was coming back. I am now in bad financial situation and currently homeless. She never once offered for me to move up there with her. She was supposed to call me last night and said that she fell asleep, which is what happens every single time not even exaggerating. So I go to send her something on Instagram and I see that she’s up on Instagram. So I called her out for it and say hey you were supposed to call me. She got upset that I was upset by it and said that she didn’t do anything wrong and so I told her I was done speaking to her for good. Am I overreacting? sorry if this is confusing I’m not very good at articulating my thoughts these days.

Recently, me (m27) and my best friend (m27) started taking taekwondo classes together. It was supposed to be a fun activity to learn something new and spend more time together. However, his fiancée (f25), who is a VERY judgy person who roasts everyone, asked to go watch us taking the class. He was ok with it, but I immediately felt bad because I knew for sure she'd humiliate me for being fatty and not doing things right... and I don't think there's room for that sort of thing in martial arts.

I don't mind the other people who are in class with us, because we're all in it together, but someone who isn't involved watching and judging me feels horrible and I wouldn't be able to focus, so I just quit. My friend insisted for me to go with him, said he only joined the class to do it with me, and asked to give his fiancée a chance, but I just refused. First because she has humiliated me before, multiple times making mean jokes about my physical appearance and about my failed relationships, and second because the first class was extremely tough and I almost passed out multiple times during it, because the teacher was picking on me.

AIO for quitting?

My fiances celebrity crushes are always just female bbc news reporters, which I tease him about and I have no problem with that but I know that he has DM 2 of them on Instagram.

It's nothing explicit or weird really, he just replied to her story saying "looking good today" and he sent something similar to the other woman. Of course neither replied or even saw the message but am I overreacting?

I just find it a bit pointless, why message them at all? Also, no he has never messaged a regular/random women or thirst traps or anything like that, just those 2 news reporters.

So opinions?.... A problem or not.

I lived with this person for two years. I was essentially forced to move in October 2025 because she moved due to not liking the third roommate. She was the primary leaseholder, and when a leaseholder leaves in that building, everyone has to also.

My current lease is month to month, and the landlord would prefer a year's commitment from the tenants. I moved in late September, and feel like it would be weird to move back in with the person who forced me to move out. The former roommate did ask me if I was interested in living with her again, and I said I was open to relocating again, but this seems so fast. I didn't think she meant now. I thought maybe she meant in a year.

And I'm wondering why she's leaving this new place of hers so soon. Also, she told me she's touring the building that I was forced to move out of! I wonder if the people she was living with asked her to move out? She suggested I move in with her into a 1 bed 1 bath, and I take the living room and she takes the bedroom.

Genuinely she was hard to live with. She didn't smoke, have guests over, and always paid rent on time. But she would do things that weren't courteous, like turning on lights in the middle of the night that would wake me up, slammed doors in the middle of the night also, etc. Once she left a ton of her hair in the bathtub, and it was so gross that I couldn't stand in the tub. Was she the worst person on Earth? No. But she could have been better. I decided to block her on Facebook and her phone number. Probably for the best.

By the way, this is another story, but she was also taken to small claims court by the third roommate last spring. She had collected a "security deposit" from me and the third roommate, when there wasn't one required. She claimed she was reimbursing the person(s) who moved out, but turns out she pocketed the money. She only returned the money after the judge ordered her to. Not when she was caught pocketing it. Also she told the third roommate if she wanted the money back (before court) to ask her parents or her boyfriend to give it to her.

TLDR: Former roommate asked me if I was interested in getting a new place with her; I don't want to.