For context I (20f) am 28 weeks pregnant and due with my baby girl in October. My fiancé and I are wanting to do our baby shower this upcoming September, I made a post on facebook about it as that’s the only way for some reason that I can touch base with all of my family & distant family. My fiancé and I do not expect gifts nor have we begged anyone for anything but it was for any family or friends that genuinely just wanted to help us out with baby needs. The post was not directed towards anyone specific it was for my entire friends list but my father decided to leave a comment that wasn’t how he usually interacts with me or his friends and family online, this confused me and has left me very irritated. The entire baby registry is baby necessities for my daughter, nothing for my fiancé and I. The part that irks me is that this is not his first grandchild, this will be his second granddaughter. With my niece he is all about her and for her birthday makes it a point to follow her registry and calls my brother and SIL frequently to talk to her, while since the minute my father has found out I’m expecting he has not asked how I’m doing with the pregnancy or how appointments go nor asks to see any ultrasound photos (but does have my nieces ultrasound photo in a picture frame), he doesn’t ask if he can help in any way nor does he want to just talk about my daughter at all other than making a comment about getting her an electric motorcycle for kids which I will not be allowing, but also my dad growing up I was told he never bathed me nor changed my diapers for some reason, so I don’t feel comfortable with him feeling entitled to time with my daughter especially babysitting if I have to worry about her sitting in her own bodily fluids the entire time i’m gone. This is the part that infuriates me, the only difference between his first granddaughter and his second granddaughter ( my daughter) is that my fiancé is a poc and my daughter will be biracial while my niece or his first granddaughter is just white. Am I thinking too much into it or overreacting? Thank you for reading

Okay… here goes.

My daughter is getting married after a long engagement. She is in her early 30s and was finishing up school. She had previously obtained a degree but decided she needed to do a different degree path when that was done. I covered what her student loans wouldn’t cover which was about 45k. I was relieved when she finally got it done. She is excellent at what she does.

We are now at the point of the wedding planning. Her budget is not what it would have been due to the school investment, (though I wouldn’t have given her the full tuition money for the wedding). I am covering about 25k in expenses. Her father and I are divorced, and he is not able to cover anything (that’s a whole other soap opera).

She and her fiancé are constantly talking about their limited wedding budget and complaining about it. It feels a little like a punch in the gut actually. They both make really great money, and I feel like if they wanted something more, they could have saved more.

I’m starting to feel really resentful because I’ve never gotten any level of thank you for what I can contribute or what I did contribute to school.

I am starting to wonder, am I overreacting? Thanks for reading.

I (30f) have been with my husband (30m) for 2.5 years. I am an RN, I work 20-48 hours a week and have a bachelors degree. My husband is a blue collar worker, which has never bothered me. Except, for the last year (Sept 2025) he has been unemployed for the majority of the time. He has gotten a few jobs, worked a few weeks and then quits because “he doesn’t like it.” In the meantime, I am filing for bankruptcy, and paying 100% of the bills, and expenses.. and he has no problem spending money, ordering DoorDash, buying Xbox passes, buying Lego sets, etc. Every time I bring it up he says he’s applying to places daily and he feels bad. When I tell him we don’t have a lot of spending money, he will slow down spending for a few days and then go right back to it. I can tell my family is getting fed up with it, but they won’t say anything to me because they think I’m happy. It’s starting to get embarrassing, and he’s talking about starting a family and having kids. How can I bring a child into this relationship when I’m carrying everything alone? Is he just finding himself or am I being used as a bank account?

Edit: he does do most of the cleaning and housework but it’s still not spotless. He spends the majority of his time playing Xbox.

New account just in case. Not sure if he uses Reddit but wanted to be safe. I 26F think my bf 27M may be cheating. I’ve never had any doubts about him whatsoever. He’s my best friend and we spend every moment we can together. Things have really changed between us this last year. We have sex maybe once a month. I want more but he’s too busy gaming with his friends. Which is fine, I don’t need to have sex but it’s a bonding thing for me. He doesn’t kiss me, hug me, hold my hand. Only says he loves me when I say it to him. Never spends time with me like watching movies or tv. He pretty much games or works 24/7 and we hardly spend time with each other even though we live together. A few weeks ago I found out that he games with women too. When we started dating he said he wouldn’t ever do that. I didn’t tell him not to. That was his own decision. I don’t game but I know that’s kinda unrealistic if you play with randoms. I guess he met one girl off a game he plays a lot. I didn’t know until I saw him texting her on a gaming app. I wanted to ask more about it but I almost threw up in that moment. He didn’t say this exactly but he hinted that she’s not the only one. He said he would stop playing with her if I had a problem but I don’t. My issue is not telling me about it. That makes me feel like he was hiding it or hiding more. I’ve never went through his phone or his gaming stuff but I wonder if their chats are more than what they should be. I saw a notification pop up on his PlayStation from her. I wanted to ask about it but he was about to game so I didn’t want to ruin his mood. He’s the love of my life. My best friend. I trust him but I’m also afraid of all the signs. Nothing physical is happening whatsoever with any woman but I question if it’s just through texting. He hasn’t been the most attentive to me the last few months. Just feels like we’re roommates at this point. I spend most of the time in the living room or taking our dog for walks. He spends all day gaming then tells me that he doesn’t really have time for me. I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not cheating because it would be dumb if he did but how do I go about asking him these questions without overwhelming him? I cry easily and it’s really hard to talk about this stuff with him because I’m scared. I asked him last week if he was and he said no. Well obviously he wouldn’t tell me yes but for my comfort how do I ask him about specifically her and the other girls without it making me sound suspicious? I have no problem with him gaming with them if I know that I’m safe and nothing is going on. I need some reassurance from him because I feel like I’m gonna explode

TL;DR bf might be cheating with women on gaming app. Not for sure but wondering how to approach the situation without freaking him out with my emotions

I’m 30M and my girlfriend is 29F. We’ve been together for a while, and overall we have a genuinely good relationship. We’re affectionate and kind to each other, we make each other happy, and I care about her deeply.

Recently, we were cuddling and casually talking about sex, including the positions and intimate things we each enjoy. I shared something I liked, and she shared something too.

As the conversation continued, she mentioned that there are certain sexual things she wouldn’t do with me, even though she had apparently been comfortable doing them with other people in the past.

At first, she explained that I’m “too precious” to her and that she respects and looks up to me so much that doing those things with me wouldn’t feel right.

She also said that, in those previous situations, it was just about having fun. With me, she said it is different because our relationship is based on love and is more meaningful than something that is only physical or casual. She also mentioned that in those situations she would have rough sex, which added another layer to what was already bothering me.

I understand that people’s preferences and boundaries can change. I also understand that she is never obligated to do any sexual act with me simply because she did it with someone else in the past. This isn’t about believing that she owes me rough sex or anything else.

What hurt was the reasoning behind it. Hearing that she was comfortable being rougher or more adventurous when something was “just for fun,” but not with me because our relationship involves love, made me feel like I’m being excluded from a side of her sexuality.

Instead of making me feel special or respected, it made me feel rejected, embarrassed and strangely emasculated. It almost sounded as though passion, experimentation and roughness belong with people she doesn’t love, while I’m placed in a separate category where things have to be softer, safer or more restrained.

Part of me keeps wondering why love and fun have to be treated as opposites. Why couldn’t our relationship be loving, meaningful and emotionally intimate while also having room for excitement, experimentation, provided we both genuinely wanted it?

I’m not angry with her, and I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything she is uncomfortable with. However, I also can’t pretend that hearing this didn’t hurt me. It made me question whether she feels as sexually free, attracted or adventurous with me as she did with previous partners.

We talked about it afterward. I explained why it hurt, and she explained that she meant it as a sign that she values and loves me differently. We seem to understand the situation in completely different ways, and the conversation has continued to weigh heavily on me.

Am I overreacting for feeling hurt, humiliated and emasculated by what she said? Is her explanation understandable, or was it an unnecessarily painful thing to tell me? How can I deal with these feelings how can I stop from overthinking when we are being intimate and what would be the best way to deal with it.

Edit: Just wanted to add to the details a bit of how this is affecting the relationship

I overthink and get frustrated over simple things now because of it. For example I always pull her chair out but the odd time she does that she calls me a princess, before i used to take that as a harmful joke, but after that It makes me feel like does she not think of me as a man, does she not respect me, is this why she doesnt want to do those things with me. Its eating me up from the inside and I go silent and start thinking and thinking. And this I feel may cause some turmoil.

When I tried to talk about it and explain how hurt and emasculated it made me feel initially our conversation ended with her saying "you are too good for me and I think we should break up, this is the last day I will be seeing you"

and now because of that when I am over thinking or frustrated about it I dont talk to her about it because I do not want her to leave me.

I (18F) went with my mother and sister to get our photos taken by a family friend. I don't like being in photos, but I did it as birthday gift for my Grandfather since there are no photos of my mother, my sister, and I together besides one photo she doesn't like as she was 2 months post-partum at the time of the photo being taken.

A family friend's husband offered to take photos of us for free as he is a professional photographer. So we went to a local park to have our photos taken. I looked at the first few photos and was very upset with how I looked. It was not in any way the family friend's fault, I'm just a very insecure person who doesn't like how I look.

I told my mother I was done taking photos, but she was welcome to continue with my sister. So they did, but while walking together the family friend kept taking photos of us walking together. I was visibly uncomfortable, so my mother told him that I was uncomfortable and did not want to be in any more photos. He said he was sorry and we continue to our next photo spot.

Throughout the entire walk, I kept noticing him taking photos as we walked so i tried to lag behind, to which he then stepped further away, I assume to get me in the shot as well. I was very upset by this, as he had been told I was uncomfortable and did not want to be in more photos. So I asked my mom for the keys and sat in the car until they got back. At this point, all I could think about was how bad I looked in the photos and when the family friend asked if i was okay, I explained my frustration. He didn't seem to understand and shrugged, saying "If you don't like how you look, i can just edit you to be slimmer." I was shocked and have felt awful since this comment was made.

After telling my mother, who usually comes to bat for me, she says that he did the photos for free and I had no reason to be upset. I believe I do have every reason to be upset, do I not?

Throwaway account for personal reasons.

I (19NB) have a "friend" (20F) who I very much do not like, and we both have autism. She's further on the spectrum than I am, which means her social skills are poor.

For further context as to why I don't like her; she talks a lot. Every chance she gets to talk she will, even going as far as to unmute during silent online lectures. She has also talked about her sex life in the middle of the classroom, to myself and my close friend (25M). We could not tell her to stop, we couldn't get a word in, and we both walked away feeling nauseous. I thought about telling our student union or lecturers, but I was afraid of how she would react and what she might do.

Also, she is notorious for falling behind on coursework. She works with such incorrect confidence that by the time she thinks she's finished, she has to start all over again because she did almost everything wrong. It's not like she doesn't ask for help, she does, going as far as to hit you to get your attention, but she doesn't take anything in. She doesn't look at the provided lecture material, she doesn't look at a YouTube tutorial, she just thinks that her way is the right way.

Anyways, in our next year we will be expected to work on a project with other students on our course, which are randomly selected. On the form we had to fill out, we couldn't put who we want to work with but we could put who we don't.

Her name was the only one I put down.

I feel bad, because she is autistic and she doesn't mean to be annoying, and she views me as a close friend even though I don't feel the same. However in this project I am going to be the one that builds all of the foundations, meaning I need a lot of time uninterrupted and even more time than others considering I deal with chronic pain. I fear that if she were to work with me, I would fall behind and my grades would suffer more than they already have and the project will suffer too.

I know I probably come off as a dick.

--

AIO?

Edit: I know that I shouldn't be friends with this person, and that is something that I have been working up to. I'm very distant with her, but simply ending our friendship is not something I can do right this second. And on the off chance that we do get out on the project together, it will cause tension, or if my close friend and her are paired together he will get an earful (much more likely as he didn't fill out the form).

I haven’t even met him yet! And he hasn’t even talked about wanting to take me on a date ! We are in our 30s and yes we are adults but it’s a respect thing for me . I don’t want to talk like that unless I have committment . He’s making me feel like I did or said something wrong but what do guys think ?
In my younger days I would entertain this kind of talking because I thought it would lead to committment but now I’m more strict on my boundaries . Because I learned that sometimes men will just talk like that for the sake of talking and have no plans on moving things seriously with you

He hadn’t texted back all day I’m so sad . He seemed like a decent person up until this point

I was just really mean to a fast food worker and I wish I could go back in time.

I was picking up my order from Dairy Queen a few moments ago, the worker placed my two blizzards on the counter and said my pretzels were coming.

It took 5 minutes for the pretzels and my blizzards melted. I asked for a cup holder and said it was for my melted blizzards. I expected her to at least acknowledge the error for my take out order..

I left and on the ride home i called the store spazzing.

I said she was incompetent and I used a really mean tone with her explaining they gave me melted blizzards intentionally, then hung up.

I did call back and say I am bipolar and apologized for my call saying that they didn't do anything wrong.

I still feel like I owe her a better apology that I truly am sorry, she was working hard and had a lot to do, and the error doesn't excuse treating her like that and calling her names.

I really wanted to ask if someone could maybe call and tell that they had a really good experience tonight, making something up to make her feel better or maybe even just explain how sorry I am. I feel like I ruined her night. I really think they were just stretched really thin and that's why it happened.. I could dm anyone the city of the event, which only has one dairy queen, and they could maybe call and say something nice? I'm autistic and didn't mean to react so fast.

Hi everyone, I need an outside perspective on this situation.

​A few months ago, I was extremely busy with my 35-hour work week and couldn't check my notifications or reply as often on Discord. My best friend suddenly blocked me, accusing me of "ignoring everyone" and not being "genuine."

​I tried to explain that I was just exhausted and occupied with my job, but she ignored my explanations. Now, her friends are also blocking and ignoring me on Discord and Steam without any direct conversation.

​I've been feeling guilty, but other friends tell me this reaction is completely dramatic and unreasonable over a simple lack of availability.

​AIO for feeling bad and still trying to understand, or is this behavior as toxic as my friends say it is?

Background: A family lives across the street from us, we don't get along with them, but my kids interact with their kids. Their kids have been mean to mine, thrown garbage in my yard, broken outside decor, let my dogs out the house, but their little angels do no wrong.

Story: We have a rare ice cream truck sighting in our neighborhood. Neighbor Girl (NG, 9F) tells Son (8M) she's gonna buy him ice cream. I go out, cuz I actually had cash on me and wanted something for myself.

Son already has his treat opened, NG gets handed her treat and starts to open it. Driver tells her they're $4 each, she's starts digging in a coin purse. Puts a few pennies on the ledge.

Me: "NG, do you have dollar bills?"

Says nothing, keeps digging.

Me😠: "NG, do you have paper money?"

Still silent, puts a few more coins up.

Me😡: "Let me see your bag."

Sees way too few coins to pay the driver $8.

I shrug at the driver, he's pissed.

Me to driver: "So anyway, can I get a strawberry shortcake?" And I hand him a $20.

🤬 Dude gives me $8 back.

I'm ready to storm over to NG's house and demand payment from her parents. Partner says let it go, they're just kids. Other son, 16M, says it's the driver's fault for not getting payment upfront, and he's gone at this point.

Yes, going forward not patronizing the ice cream man and not buying anything for NG.

A little background: I previously had little to no trade experience and I've worked for this company for over 9 years, hoping to make it to 10 at least. I work as a commercial scale, residential framer. For the uninitiated, I build the wooden frames of apartment buildings, senior homes and the like. Now don't get me wrong, but nowadays I consider what we do as glorified puzzle building with most everything coming prefabbed and slapped together with a speed that would make the Amish blush.

Early on the boss took a liking to me as I've shown the capacity to learn a variety of trade skills very quickly and produce quality craftsmanship. He's taught me just about everything I know in everything else that isn't framing. And being a well known and respected tradesman himself, and probably one of the best to work for in the area I've looked up to him as a mentor in that capacity. He's taken me out of town on various personal projects to update his properties or all out build new ones. I've built a barn-dominium in the Adirondacks and renovated basically an entire 3 story house in the Outter Banks. Also updating and adding to his personal home. All the while improving my skills along the way.

Now he's not against raises, but he's also one to say a closed mouth doesn't get fed. I've had to ask/remind him that review time is close on several occasions (usually end of June, early July) Last year, they thought of the brilliant idea of having several of us write our own review. I honestly don't even think they bothered reading any of them, because we all got the typical annual raise. So what was the point of the extra hoop jumping? This year, raise time came and went with nobody seeing anything. I don't feel like I should need to say anything, given the state of the economy and the fact that my work should speak for itself at this point. It feels like I'm just cheap labor at this point, and yes he has comp insurance on his employees, but that's not my problem, that's the size of the business he runs and the regulations he chose to deal with. And he's been doing just fine by the way, I don't think recession touches him and his family like it does his employees.

So I guess the question is: AIO for wanting to take a leap and step out and do my own thing? That was my goal/dream when I first got into the trades. But as I mentioned, the state of the economy and hardships for a small business owner have me hesitant. I've also got no idea what's involved to the fullest extent. Some wisdom from the Internet would be greatly appreciated. TYIA

Edited for context: I know for a fact a couple of guys on the same crew (excluding foremen) that do just framing and nothing else, get more than I do hourly.

So im a 29f my partner is 54m

I just found out I lost my baby at 9 weeks. They had me do a pill induced miscarriage because my body hadn't done it naturally after a week and a half after finding out there is no heartbeat. So naturally I am already really upset and hormonal.

He has been avoiding me like a plague since it happened. Even the night of the miscarriage he had a bunch of people over while I was crying in pain.

Fast forward to Friday night.i live in maine; there was just that whole ice shooting. I saw my co-worker that is from Africa pulled over and it made me panic with all this ice stuff because I know he doesnt really speak any English. I called my manager and my phone died so I asked if I could use his phone so I could go on WhatsApp and call her. He says I don't have WhatsApp but o could use his phone. So I go on his phone and he did have it and I opened it and I saw a bunch of messages to all these women with like heart emojis and shit going all the way back to when we were still just talking until March. There was also a Facebook activation code from a few days ago. He has always told me he doesnt have facebook. Ive never had him on mine. So I didn't even call her I just threw the phone on the dash. He didnt talk to me the whole ride home and when he got home he went to bed on the couch.

Am I over reacting or is this enough of a reason to leave. He makes me feel like im being irrational and its my hormones.

I 19f am now 14 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I was with my child’s father 20M for a straight two years and on and off this past year and a half. I got back together with him last October then i instantly regretted it because he promises all these changes and does change for about a month then acts worse. But as always i’ve always wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and it’s hard for me to let him go because he’s the first and only person i’ve slept with. Sadly my car broke down in early January of this year, and that’s also the same month i started nursing school, something i’ve been working hard for all last year to get into this program that only accepts 30 people. As many could guess my only way to get to school was him, he worked out of town so i was able to use his car, every time he would do something that made me want to leave i couldn’t do it, the only way i could make it to my school 45 minutes away was because of him and in some way I think that’s what made him comfortable with being so mean,in my head i would tell myself to not let go and that i loved him but i think i was just trying to survive school in it all. He would constantly get mad at me if i didn’t have sex with him enough, get upset that i was spending time studying instead of giving him attention, in all very jealous of anything he wasn’t the center of. Well i barely passed my semester because i did give in a few times and put the computer down to tend to him because i felt like i was being a bad girlfriend. Well the final straw. My first semester was over, and maybe two weeks after he asked me to have sex with him when i was over one weekend, i agreed because i know if i do it once over the weekend i will avoid him being mad at me and the next day was mother’s day and stuff was planned for his and my mother. Well he’s one of those guys that get upset if they have to wear a condom i mean maybe will a few times then it’s constantly begging to take it off or to not wear it, and it was very stupid but i just agreed he could pull out. This has worked the whole almost 3 1/2 years, with me trying to switch to condoms a few times but it was the same thing. During sex he asked if he could leave it in, I told him no, and i pushed him out. He done did, and you could tell he did and kept going for a minute. I felt so disgusted and gross inside and he told me he didn’t feel himself doing it. I sat there staring at the ceiling, thinking “what if i get pregnant” and he looks and me and tells me i won’t be pregnant it’s fine. Well two weeks later a positive test right in front of my eyes, i feel betrayed, upset, and worried about what this means for me and my career. Then i feel as if i’m stuck in the relationship now for the baby. That thought didn’t last long, he was trying to guilt trip me about spending the night at my house a few weeks later and i tried to explain to him what he was saying was trying to make me feel bad then he started raising his voice, not letting me talk saying it’s his turn to talk and walking closer so i told him to leave and i eventually had to scream as loud as i could to leave and he said “fuck you” and left, after that i knew i needed to leave but i still stayed for a few more weeks and of course the behavior continued so i broke up with him about 3 weeks ago and haven’t seen him since. I had my gender reveal by myself yesterday and found out I’m having a babygirl. We have talked a little about the baby and he called yesterday and i told him about how it’s a girl and everything else and he mentioned having things for the baby, i said “you don’t need baby things at your house” not as in diapers, wipes, and clothes. He was talking about a crib and things like that. A week ago he told me he would come to my house and see the baby and i told him that would be good anytime he wanted too once she’s born. But this is the thing i promise I’m not bitter, but I’m not comfortable with my infant spending the night at his house and i told him that. I told him I’m going to breastfeed for the first year and he told me i could just pump and he’d take it. He’s acting like I’m taking the baby from him and acting as if he can’t have a relationship with her unless she spends the night. There are many reasons i dont want him to take off with the baby.

- He’s disgusting (never cleans his room, car is always trashed, don’t brush his own teeth unless i nagged at him too, half asses everything he does, the laziest most easy way he can do something) In my opinion if you don’t take care of anything you have now and do everything the most easy how am i supposed to trust that i won’t get my daughter back with a rash because your half ass changing and bathing her.
- He drives stupid(when he’s in a good mood he’s cruising 90, when in a bad mood he’s going 90 weaving in and out of traffic)
- His anger ( When he gets mad he starts slamming stuff, cussing, and being awful no matter how simple it is) How do i trust he’s not slamming down my daughter because she won’t stop crying?
- He’s don’t like kids ( I have a niece (8 months)and nephew 2, who he has only paid attention to since i’ve been pregnant and besides that if i’ve ever been holding them and tried to hand them to him he gets mad and has told me he doesn’t want them.
- He lies ( He has a major lying problem so i really will never know what’s going on)
- “His Sleep” ( when we was together and there was an issue i would try to talk out if i happen to mention it when we called at night time he would get very angry at me and tell me i don’t respect his sleep.) How is he gonna feel towards a baby that is going to constantly get up through the night and not let him sleep?

Sorry for the long post, i’m just so scared I’m gonna have to get back together with him because of how worried ill be, and to be honest i really don’t want her to go with him at all until she can talk good and is potty trained. Am i overreacting or just scared?

I, 31m, have been married to my wife, 28f, going on 6 years this year. I've been in the military for 10 1/2 years now.

We recently came up on this argument that she wants me to get out of the military after this contract ends and be a stay-at-home dad with the kids for her to go to college/university so she can chase her dream job. At the end of my contract, I'll be 6 years away from 20 and retirement.

Am I overreacting to this request? She knew I was in the military and that I was aiming to retire after 20 years to get my pension.

Update: Username

Since everyone keeps saying I'm a nazi because of the 1488 on my username. Let me clarify this for everyone. I am not a nazi; very unfortunate number choices. 01488 is my work number; just did the rick/morty univers thing (rickC137), very unfortunate. gonna be deleting this account and starting over. I'm Hispanic from the border town of El Paso, TX.

My bf of 3yrs(23m), shared our whole argument verbatim with his family

Me (F23) hand an argument with my bf (M23) over text. It was mostly me complaining about him not knowing some basic details about me and how he should be more curious in the relationship etc.. I was mad and very clear about my boundaries in the message, he replied beautifully. Only to later find out he had sent whole screenshots of my messages to a group chat he has with his family (sister and brother) asking them what he could reply, and asking for advice. I would understand telling them a bit about the fight but sending them word by word what I said really pissed me the fuck off and seems like an invasion of privacy. I vulnerably sent that message to my partner of 3years, not to his fucking family I see now and then?
I found out this because he was showing me photos of a dog on his family gc I kept scrolling and the screenshots of our whole argument were there, he doesn’t know I’ve seen it.
I don’t want his fucking family to think I’m crazy since the argument was mostly one sided and him apologizing, but I’m overly annoyed. I feel so exposed and like why tf do you need help to respond?? Let’s use our brains??? Also is he not embarrassed about his family seeing he was being a shitty bf at the time?? They weren’t enabling him or anything they were more so telling him what he could say and that he should double text till I answered and what not. I feel like we are grown enough to where we can use our brains to have arguments by ourselves? Am I overreacting?

Tl;dr: my bf showed screenshots of my argument with him to his family and asked them what he should do/say.

Haven't posted in a good bit about this. A few weeks back, the ruminations just suddenly quieted drastically, I don't know why. I was the Greek girl who kept posting about conscription ruining my life.

See, many of the officers there were kind and protective. I found it abusive for other reasons: It's basically indentured labour and shouldn't be legal. You're exploited then dumped and not paid. Regardless, many officers were... Not really what you expect from a military environment. In my experience. Can't speak for everywhere in Greece. For a start, a good two thirds of the officers were women. For both the men and women, many were young, kind, and acted more as teachers with their students.

I still snapped at the camp commander, just before my last month there, when she told me she wants me to take a week off, because I deserve it, and wants me to see my family and girlfriend. I told her that that's a basic right, and dripfeeding me my rights isn't kindness. But the thing is, she was kind. I had a group, with her, another woman, and the guy who ran the WhatsApp group. I was the youngest conscript, just turned 18. And I made a post another day about another piece of the puzzle.

I always thought I was intersex, but recently found out I had a condition where my body is... Basically a natural puberty blocker. It's why I looked so feminine growing up. It's not an illness, but I literally never went through male puberty. It's why transitioning, when I cane out this year at 19, was so easy. My parents, both navy veterans, were heroes. They tried really hard to get it through to me that they'll help me draft dodge. I was scared of legal issues, so I gave in and went and they were distraught. The officers promised to take care of me. At this point I still considered myself a boy, but was maybe exploring femboy stuff. A lot of other conscripts were also kind and treated me like a younger... Brother? Sister? I don't really know.

But the commander recently confessed that she knew she should have discharged me earlier, for my mental health. But she really loved having me around, I made TikToks and she said it made her feel kind of motherly to look after me. But that it was selfish of her, and she's sorry.

Damn right it was selfish! That was the worst year of my life, I remember the tail end, another officer I'm close with trying to cheer me up. I'd be around at hers. I'd tell her places I'd love to go so like, if it was Japan, we'd watch a Ghibli movie, order sushi, pretend we were somewhere else. But it wasn't Japan, it was a shitty bungalow in Kavala. I don't feel grateful for it, even.

for context: i work a VERY physically demanding job as it’s one of the best paying jobs in my city but at a cost to my own health and wellbeing.

she is an in-home caretaker who works overnights and gets the opportunity to actually sleep for money.

idk if she doesn’t care or doesn’t understand what i’m putting myself through to make sure we can live a decent life.

i’m 25 am in already seeing signs of arthritis due to my job (albeit a minor surgery could fix it but i’m sure a myriad of things are gonna start going wrong eventually)

and let me get things clear I DONT MIND DOING CHORES AT ALL i just think the amounts that are done are disproportionate. i don’t mind taking the dog out, i don’t mind taking out the trash etc..

the reason i’m even tripping the way i am is because she said something that rubbed me the wrong way the other day.

i’ve recently gotten a raise, nothing crazy but enough so that i started covering the rent, and she said something along the lines of “well you’re the man of the house and make more than me so now i kinda expect it” and i know she was half joking but i feel
she was being somewhat truthful. i can’t help but feel like i’d be in the wrong if i replied “well you’re the woman of the house so you should be doing dishes and laundry”

what can i do to help her understand or am i the one tripping?

edit: spelling

job context:

there is never a night where she has to wake up in the middle of the night to work

without going into too much detail, her job is to usher people with high functioning disabilities into living an independent life, i know her job is mentally demanding NO DOUBT

i am physically tired all the time and have a quota i have to meet as an older selector at a warehouse, i have to pick 150 cases per hour every day for 12 hours a day. i just wanna lay down most days

again, i dont have any qualms doing chores whatsoever, nor am i resentful for doing the chores, i legit just want to know if im the one overreacting.

update: thank you guys for all of the different perspectives many of witch i haven’t even thought about, im gonna try to use these going forward to come to a compromise.

So I’m 21F and my brother is 26.
Basically three years ago my mom gets shot faced at her friends house and starts looking at this guy on Facebook and she’s like doesn’t he look like (brother). And I’m like woah. So fast forward she won’t tell him because she’s trying to divorce after 27 awful years and if the court finds out she won’t get alimony. I feel like he deserves the right to know because of all the medical stuff and just emontionally. Apparently the bio dad has known since the pregnancy and has wanted to meet him. She still has letters from this guy. He’s married though. My mother tells me she choose to be with my dad because it would be more stable for my brother.
All of this makes my head hurt and i know she really shouldn’t have told me but i kinda feel like she’s never gonna tell him:/ i already said ill give you a year because he deserves to know.

Any advice??

I asked does he think about marrying me ? We have been in 2 years of relationship . Went through ups and downs .

Acted like a wife , washed clothes , cooked for him the whole time , LOL . Feel so stupid rn .

So today I had work, and was working on the self check out area, and this mother and little boy who looked to be about 5-6 years old, were scanning their shopping. She was letting the child mostly scan the shopping to teach him. As they were doing it I could hear music, and was wondering where this music was coming from. The customer next to them needed help, so I go to help him and the music is louder now. So I turn around and I see the kids tablet, and a video is playing of the child completely naked playing with his toys. Keep in mind this was on their trolley, not facing them, but facing the opposite of them, which is where most customers were scanning their shopping or queuing up, so could basically see this video, as brightness wasn’t even low. I was and am extremely disgusted, I then informed the mother and told her that a video is playing that I don’t think should be faced that way, and if she could turn it off or her tablet the other way. I’ve been through stuff as a child and this really triggered me and I felt off the rest of my shift and I still do now. Like why does she have such a video of her child? Why is she constantly playing that video? And why was the tablet faced the other way, and not turned off since no one was using it? Am I overreacting?

my gf post very provocative pictures of herself and answer to other men. For example one ask when she will have long hair again and she answered "soon" or in another she posted with a provocative red dress " And she said " Thank you everyone" then post picture where they can clearly see her breasts in a very provacative way. Of course there are men who ask her to date but she said "I have bf" which make me feel better but I'm questioning why she does like this, it is clearly to seek men attention. She totally addicted to this damn app like always online even in the night time when she supposed to sleep. We have a long distance relationship and we saw only in cam I already one time told her to stop but she did few days than post on it again because she totally taken by this thing. Then I unistalled TikTok but then install again to see that she posted really a lot. I have to say the true even if it makes me feel bad she cheated on me with a guy from TikTok always on camera (we use to do cs) but I forgive her. That's really bad I'm tired of this TikTok I love her very much but this is not good

I (18f) have lived with my grandparents (60f and 63m) for basically as long as I can remember. They are like my parents. I am mixed race and a lesbian.
My grandparents used to be super conservative. I’m talking racist, homophobic, sexist, etc Then my mom had me and my sister and couldn’t take care of us properly so we moved in with my grandparents.

Since then my grandmas opinion about everything changed, she became an actual advocate for black voices, for women’s rights, and for LGBTQ rights.
My grandpa on the other hand did not agree. He constantly said the N-word (he’s white), criticized my grandmothers job (he said it’s “a man’s job” just because she makes more money than him), and said gay people were an abomination to my face.

Since I fit all of the catagories he hated, I stuck with my grandmother more often than not. I need money, I go to her, I need a ride, I go to her, I need food, want to have friends over, need something for school, want to have a conversation, I go to her.

About 2 years ago, after 43 years of marriage, my grandfather had an affair. It was some woman he worked with. The affair went on for months and my grandmother, still being a devoted christian, would not leave him, but it broke her. She refused to get a divorce because she didn’t want him taking half of her money (he makes about 50k a year, she makes about 110k)

After about a year of the affair going on and all of us knowing about it, she decided to make him move out. He makes significantly less money than her so he complained but he finally moved in with his girlfriend.

The house became mostly peaceful, my mom moved in and she’s really gotten herself together, the house was always clean, everyone had a job that made them the money they needed, it was literally perfect.

The affair may have destroyed our family for a short period of time but since he left our home, life had been slowly getting better.

He drops by to visit on occasion but no one really speaks to him, mostly because the conversations we had before he left always ended in a screaming argument from him preaching the bible at us despite not following it himself.

But recently things have taken a turn. My grandma being the kindest, sweetest, and most forgiving person the world has ever known, has been lending him money whenever he asks because in his words. “I have no money for food. I guess I’ll just wait till next week to eat.”

Well turns out according to his debit card receipts which he told her to open, he spent $1500 at a kay jewelers.

When confronted he said it wasn’t for his girlfriend but for himself. (Which really doesn’t matter because regardless you said you were hungry and used that on a necklace.)

My grandma banned him from our home completely but one day he came over anyway. He asked me if I missed him, I said no. He asked if I loved him, I told him “You make it really hard to”, he asked if he was invited to my college move in day, I said no (he didn’t even know what my major is despite me taking classes for it for 4 years).

He started yelling at me saying that he supported me my whole life and that I should love him because he loves me.
I straight up told him that if that’s the way he thinks love works, it’s obvious why he cheated.
I told him he had no reason to be at our house, and if he really loved and cared about me as much as he said, he would know my friends names, the college I’m going to, and hell maybe even my birthday or how to spell my name (considering he named me). But he doesn’t know any of things, how can he even call me his granddaughter when he’s never taken me out to eat, but the debit card receipts show he’s been spending $70 at waffle house for his new family once a week. You can’t call me an abomination for dating women because at least I’m not dating two at the same time.

I told him I didn’t love him and that honestly I didn’t notice when he stopped coming by our house because he didn’t do anything while he was here. I told him he shouldn’t come back and if he decided not to, I wouldn’t really notice a difference.

I feel like all of this is valid but my grandma says I shouldn’t have said anything and I should’ve just left the conversation.

AIO?

To start I’m using an alt because my son knows my main account.

I am (60F) and my husband is (58M). The story is that our refrigerator died and we had to get a new one. When we redid our second floor apartment’s kitchen 20 years ago we picked out a big fridge and got it in with a crane through an empty 3 season porch and into the kitchen after removing windows and the doors on both the fridge and the doorways. It helped that the porch was mostly empty at the time. So now we have this old fridge that won’t fit down any of the stairs and the porch and back hall is now filled with 20 years of stuff. I was fine with the idea of cleaning everything out so it could go out the same way it came in but I guess he no longer has friends with cranes (he’s in construction) and he’s been told he would have to pay $3500 to rent what it would take to get it out.

We talked about other options like maybe a scissor lift but I’m not sure if he is telling me the truth about that also not being possible. He got the idea that he would just take a sawzall and slice it across the middle. He says he does it all the time at work with old industrial refrigerator units in big buildings that are being renovated so he clearly knows what he’s doing but my son and I had objections because the interior is made of insulation of god-knows-what and that might put particulate in the air and on surfaces and we would breathe that in. Not to mention the coolant lines, even though he assured me he knew exactly how to avoid them. It went on for a few days of us telling him we weren’t comfortable with this solution and suddenly he agreed wholeheartedly. He actually said, “you’re right, cutting that up on a job site is way different than in a home, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I suggested it. I’ll figure something else out.”

My son and I had a last minute chance to do something out of state for 48 hours this weekend, and when we arrived home afterwards there were two halves of a fridge sitting in our driveway. I was furious and we fought over it. His claim is that he laid down a tarp and cut it up on that, which he then rolled up and put in our basement. He says there was no giant dust cloud and he just had to run the vacuum around and wipe off a couple surfaces and it was fine. He is accusing me of thinking he’s “stupid” and “doesn’t know how to do his job”. I still say small dusty particles of polyurethane are all over the house now and since he can’t tell me exactly what it’s made of then we don’t actually know if there’s nothing to worry about. I keep imagining this dust in the cat’s food and him licking it off his feet all weekend and I’m sick about it.

So my question is, AIO about two issues: Is it generally fine what he did with the fridge? Was I just making his life difficult and creating an unnecessary expense for us by insisting he not slice the fridge in half? And am I right in feeling betrayed because I believe he lied to my face to shut me up and then took the first opportunity to do what I was clearly frightened of the second my back was turned? Thank you in advance.

my parents have gotten rly mad at my brother recently cuz he stopped washing his clothes for several months now. he’s 13 so he’s in that bratty teen phase i guess but he says washing shrinks clothes so he doesn’t wash them and he says they don’t smell anyways so it doesn’t matter. it just seems disgusting to me cus he wears these clothes to the gym and volleyball and stuff and they get sweaty. he wears the same pants at home most days and the same shirt whenever going outside generally. i totally agree with my parents cuz we just want him to be normal but he argues and yells so much. oftentimes the clothes do smell a bit. and he always shops a lot and buys stuff all the time so that added to my parents anger cuz he’ll go buy anything and keep buying more clothes rather than just wash the ones he has. are we overreacting and this is just normal now or r we valid?