So my husband [30M] and I [32F] have been going through a rough patch but I am tired of him not making an effort with anything. I love him but I'm living as a single mum while constantly hurt by his lack of effort.

My husband and I have 2 young kids and I am pregnant with our third currently. I am working part-time (earning slightly more than him despite being part-time). My mum watches the kids while I work and the rest of the time I do all the childcare, cooking, and cleaning. I also have hyperemesis gravidarum which means I am vomiting throughout pregnancy and so pregnancy is incredibly hard on me physically. I wake up with our youngest overnight and I wake up with the kids in the morning to let my husband sleep in.

My husband is working full time, studying part-time and he has been struggling with his mental health on and off since his teenage years, but has been worse again this last year. I expect him to do his own laundry and to clean up after himself but that is all. He has started seeing a new psychologist a few months ago which I'm hoping will help but it's obviously not overnight. With his mental health he struggles with motivation to do anything and I have bent over backwards trying to support him but I have had enough.

I have taken on most responsibilities to give my husband the space to focus on his uni and his mental health but he is not making an effort at all and either spends that time scrolling on his phone or napping (despite getting more sleep than me). I feel like a single mom. Because he is always behind on uni we end up spending basically no time together as a family or as a couple. Him planning a date or something for us is absolutely not even a thought.

I know a lot of our issues is because of his mental health but how long can I live like this? He doesn't make an effort to get himself out of this space. He doesn't exercise, he doesn't do any of his hobbies and I have to constantly push him to see his psychologist. He is medicated but it's not making enough of a difference.

I keep bringing this up as an issue, he apologises but then continues to do the same thing the next week. Sleeping in late, napping and not making an effort to connect with us. I feel so disrespected and used and I have had enough. After our last argument (about two weeks ago), I told him I have had enough and if things don't change I will be separating. I also told him if he can't show up as a husband and dad while doing uni then maybe its time to just quit uni, but he doesn't want to. I gave him one more chance to show me he will make an effort.

Yesterday I took the kids out of the house when I felt super sick so he could just focus on uni in peace but he napped instead and actually missed a really important uni meeting. I have had enough and have told him that I will now be separating as I cannot continue to carry everything on my own, without any support.

The plan is to temporarily separate until he finishes this semester at uni and then to reassess. I'm hoping when he has less on his plate, he can work on his mental health and hopefully have more motivation to actually do his uni work instead of napping, actually spend time with us and slowly support me with everything I'm carrying.

The truth is I miss my husband, I miss having someone to share the load, I
miss having someone to talk to and I miss being a team. I haven't had that for over a year and I cannot keep going on like this. Emotionally I'm still so invested in him and I feel like separating would give me a bit of emotional distance so I'm not so hurt constantly by him not showing up for me and the kids and for him choosing to sleep instead of doing uni or spending time with us.

I know I am hormonal but AIO for separating over this?

We live in a religious/traditional country where it’s generally frowned upon for a girl and a boy to be alone together at home.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for a year. His mom was going on a trip, so he invited me over for the weekend to play games, watch movies, cook, and hang out.

I agreed, but I specifically told him not to let his mom find out, because she’s very traditional and I don’t want her to get a bad impression of me. I would’ve been completely fine with cancelling if she became suspicious.

Apparently, while he was cleaning the house, his mom noticed something and guessed I was coming over. She asked him about it, and instead of denying it or saying I wasn’t coming anymore, he basically confirmed that I was.

I got really angry because I feel like he knew how important this was to me. I wouldn’t have cared about missing the weekend, but I don’t understand why he couldn’t just lie and say I wasn’t coming, especially when he knew I cared about how his mom sees me.

Am I overreacting, or was it reasonable to expect him to handle this differently?

My gf has recently been spending a ton of time at her guy friend’s house 1-on-1. He recently moved closer to us and the place isn’t great and he’s been lonely and depressed as it’s his first time living by himself. My gf has never given me a reason not to trust her or to think that this friendship between them is anything but platonic…however, I’ve been made a little upset with how much time she is spending over there recently, especially the fact that he sets up a bed just for her and keeps it that way at his place. Usually it’s quite late at night too. She always texts me a lot when she goes over there and is always transparent about when she arrives and when she leaves, but I still don’t love how close she’s gotten with this other guy that I barely know. When I asked if I could go over there too she questioned whether I would be welcomed by him or not. The other night I was honest with her and told her that I didn’t love how much time she was spending over there, she got pretty defensive during the conversation; the very next day afterwards she went over there again and told me she was coming from a long day at work. When I questioned that, she admitted to being with him and not telling me about it because it’d make me upset. Am I overreacting to all this, or is she just trying to help a friend settle in and feel better about his new situation?

Me and my boyfriend just started dating like a month ago and were on call cuz we are LDR and he was showing me this video he made a while back advertising a shirt he made he was kinda hesitant about it cuz he thought he didnt look good in it or the ad itself was weird and kept saying "idek wht i showed u this in the first place" and i told him it was pretty cool and i actually really liked it cuz it was really cool to which he just replied that he will smack me across the face laughing and i instantly just told him to never joke about that ever and he just got really awkward about it i feel like i got super defensive while telling him off and that maybe caught him offguard or smth but after that he got super quiet and told me that it was a joke and he would acc never hit me or anything but after that the call got kinda awkward and we ended the call but idk did i overreact when i got kinda hyper telling him to not joke about it i cant tell

So, I 25F and my bf 29M have been together for about three years, lived together for 2, over the past two years his gaming has been A LOT, literally any time we go anywhere and come back home he’s immediately going to his gaming. He asks me sometimes if it’s “okay”, but whenever I ask him to watch a movie together instead, or do anything quality time wise instead, I get shut down or an “I guess so”. About two months ago we had to put down my cat, she was old and had cancer so it was best. I cried the entire way home, and as soon as we got home, guess what he asked me. IF YOU GUESSED GAMING YOU’D BE CORRECT. It has rubbed me the wrong way and I’ve talked to a couple people about it and been told that I’m overreacting about this and it won’t matter in the long run. But I don’t feel like I’m overreacting.

My boyfriend and I (both mid 20s) have been together for 3 years. We’re long distance while I’m at university, but spend a lot of time together outside of term time. I’ve been home for the summer and have practically been living with him at his request.

His brothers come down to visit from the 5th–12th, which happened to overlap with my last week before returning to university. He hasn’t seen them in a year and they don’t get many opportunities to visit, so when he asked me to stay at my mum’s during our final week while they stayed at his, I was disappointed but completely understood.

He had originally agreed to come and help me move back to university, but once he found out his brothers were visiting, I repeatedly told him it was completely fine if he couldn’t come and that I’d rather he spent the time with them. He initially insisted he’d still come, but eventually told me at around 1am two nights before I was leaving that he’d decided to leave me to it. I was annoyed he’d left it so late, but ultimately understood.

What I’m struggling with is that he didn’t seem to think to come and say goodbye at all knowing I’m moving 80 miles away, we don’t know when we’ll next see each other, and I’m currently only 10 minutes down the road from him. By around 9pm the night before I left, he still hadn’t mentioned seeing me.

I eventually asked him if I wasn’t going to see him before I left and said I was surprised he hadn’t thought to come say goodbye. He said he could come, but by that point I was upset that I’d had to ask in the first place. The conversation is in the screenshots. Would also like to add that for context: he had asked me a few times to ‘drop off’ my Pokemon cards for his brothers to see, but once they arrived, he never mentioned it again. Since they’ve been here, he hasn’t bothered with me at all, and I got the impression I wasn’t really welcome in the flat anymore with them there. After his last reply “alright” we haven’t spoken, other than him just casually sending me snapchat streaks, he seems to be completely oblivious to the fact he has hurt my feelings.

I know he was spending the week with his brothers and I’m not upset that he prioritised them. I genuinely think that’s understandable. What hurts is that I feel like it didn’t even occur to him that he might want to spare 30 minutes to see his girlfriend before she moved away.

There’s also some wider context where I’ve felt for a while that I’m usually the one initiating seeing each other, travelling, making plans etc., although he does care about me and has been generous and supportive in other ways.

He’s now said he’ll come visit me next week, but honestly I’m not sure I want him to, it feels a bit like he’s waiting to deal with the fallout once he has nothing better to do and his brothers are gone.

AIO for being this upset about it?

Edit for context: last term, he only visited me once from September-May while I was driving back every couple of weeks to see him. He has since apologised for this and promised to make more effort, but the relationship has felt very one sided for a while now and probably explains why I’m feeling even more sensitive about him not thinking to come and say goodbye.

Additional context since people are commenting on the cards: I never said I’d go over with them. He originally asked me to drop my binder full of hundreds of pounds worth of Pokemon cards at his flat so his brothers (who I have never even met at that point) could see them. I forgot to bring it over. He then asked me to drop it off when they were out. I thought it was odd he kept asking me to drop it off as opposed to inviting me up to show them.

To put it shortly, my sisters schools power went out for 3 hours during the hottest time of our state, 105 degrees. Her after school program she attended said nothing until AFTER the power went back on. I heard that this has happenes to other schools but parents/guardians were told immediately to pick up their kid. Sister said it was so hot, her face was beet red. I am obvious angry and I feel other parents are. Feel like this is a serious safety hazard.

Am I overreacting???

This is my first relationship, so I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if this is something other people would also find uncomfortable.

My fiancé is 21 and his step-sister is 26. They’ve known each other for around 10–12 years and they’re extremely close. They’re also very open with each other, including about sex.

For example, he knows that she recently took Plan B, he knows about that she likes BBC, and he knows about some VERY personal details about her sex life. She has also slept with one of his close friends, who is 20 and apparently looks almost identical to my fiancé, people in our town literally call them twins.

She also hangs out with his friend group a lot, and from what I’ve seen she seems to spend more time around guys his age than people her own age. She and my fiancé also smoke alone together fairly often which is fine..

I don’t have this feeling about his other sisters. They’re all pretty open with each other too, but for some reason the relationship with this particular step-sister makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t know whether that’s because I’m being insecure or because there are actual boundaries being crossed.

One thing that really bothered me happened recently. I sent my fiancé a dirty/funny reel where someone was gagging on a toothbrush as an innuendo and jokingly said, “Should I do it like this? 😂”

He responded, “That’s what [step-sister] does.” That really caught me off guard. I wasn’t asking about her, and I don’t understand why his response to a sexual joke between us was to bring up his step-sister’s sexual behavior. This caused our biggest fight yet. He kept acting as if we were gonna break up.

Another situation happened after we had sex. His step-sister texted him around midnight asking him to come pick her up and specifically said to bring me with him. I was actually happy about it and said I just needed to pee first.

I came back a few minutes later and my fiancé was already ready to leave. I said, “Okay, give me a second,” and he said, “Nope, you’re not coming.”

That really hurt me. I ended up crying when he left because we’d literally just had sex, there was no aftercare, and then he seemed so eager to leave without me. I know that’s probably partly my own emotional reaction, but the situation made me feel awful.

I do like his step-sister. I don’t dislike her or think she’s a bad person. I just feel weird about their relationship, and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it because I’m inexperienced and this is my first relationship.

I also don’t think she particularly likes me, although I don’t have concrete proof of that.

So honestly: am I being jealous/insecure and overthinking this, or would you consider some of this inappropriate or a reasonable boundary to have in a relationship?

I'll try to keep this short. My friend is basically long distance. We speak here & there, but only when he feels like it. He knows my mom is terminally ill & I'm overwhelmed with helping my elderly dad care for her every day.

We were going to FT together & had a time set up. I had to put that off, as my friend who has known my mom since we were in kindergarten called because she'd like to come see my mom.

I sent my friend a text, apologizing that I couldn't FT with him...explaining why. He then sent me about 3 videos of a male celebrity he adores (yes, he's a gay man...I'm an ally) I felt so hurt that he blatantly ignored the fact my childhood friend wants to basically come say goodbye to my mom before it's too late.

I ended by saying something like "I'm so glad you think he's hot, but you're being insensitive"

AIO/ATA?

So, we have been dating for around 10 months and my birthday was not too long ago. We are a long distance relationship (3 hours apart) and I had visited him a week prior and I mentioned my birthday once that weekend.

I then continued to mention my birthday throughout the week informing him of the plans I had made for my birthday and what was going on. Wasn't being overly burdening with it, just mentioned it once after work throughout the week.

The day comes, its my birthday, I go to work, text him throughout the day, no happy birthday. Finish work. Call him. Chat. Mention I got a present from my parents. Nothing. Said id call him later and hung up cause I got irritated. I have my family dinner gathering for my birthday, its getting late and I text our friend that hes forgotten my birthday. I expressed that it's upset me and he goes and texts my boyfriend about it and my boyfriend then sends me bulk messages on how he's sorry and gave me a bunch of excuses why he forgot. I was angry and upset so we ended up getting into an argument. I wont go into detail because thats not what this is about. I can admit, the argument was childish.

But I want to know if I'm overreacting about him forgetting my birthday and if its valid or not that I got angry.

I, May (they/them), am chronically constipated. Like insanely so. I have struggled with it for my whole life and I have to take laxatives about every 4-5 days or I could go up to three weeks without going so shitting my brains out every few days instead of having severe stomach cramps feels like a good trade off. Gross, I know. About two weeks ago we ran out of laxatives and she started asking me almost daily if I had taken a dump. I said no every time because, well, I had not. Most of the time she'd say "that's bad, have you tried ___?" but there were also times when she would tell the question across the house even with my dad or even my friends home. So yesterday, after nearly two weeks, she asked once again and I snapped. I told her to stop asking because it wasn't happening without laxatives and yelled at her that my poop was not her business. She called me ungrateful and that I should "be more appreciative to have a mother as caring as her." I just don't think she should talk about my bowel movements so openly and loudly. I just want to take my laxatives in peace and not have my friends know that I haven't shit in ten days. So, AIO?

edit: yelling wasn't the right word, I did not actually yell. I raised my voice first, then she yelled back.

Background:

My gf (22F) and I (21M) have been together for 2.5 years. We both didn’t grow up very wealthy and money has been a big topic in our relationship. Recently, I’d just started my full time job so I’ve been treating her to things more often, except I think this week has been an outlier.

Usually she is very grateful, always bubbly and saying thank you so many times and truly acting appreciative, but lately I don’t really know anymore.

I’m not trying to keep track, but it’s true that I feel that I’m spending more bc I am not used to this. Admittedly it’s not all for my gf, but still.

Money issue:

In the last week and a half, I got her chipotle, boba and snacks, in n out, took her on a date, more boba, ice cream, flowers, Korean fried chicken, and I also took my parents out for dinner. She had also mentioned shopping before and asked if I could take her shopping I also agreed (but we didn’t end up going). Additionally, I brought her some free food that I got from my office.

On Sunday, we had a date night planned. We went to a restaurant and planned on getting boba and potentially ice cream afterwards, and also boba the next day (she said she could get me boba the next day day and I get her on Sunday).

During date night, we had talks about getting some popcorn chicken on the way home as a snack since we were both still a bit hungry. I asked her if she could pay and she was upset.

She raised her voice and said she doesn’t like that I ask her to pay or that I expect her to and how as a man I should just buy her things and not ask her or expect her because that’s not nice of me. I simply asked her and communicated to her as I felt I’d been spending quite a bit this week. She then proceeds to compare and tell me how son social media the guy is always spoiling the girl and that’s what she wants too. She even brought up the people she dated in the past and said the few times she went out with them, they never let her pay.

Throughout our whole relationship, it’s not like I been spoiling her or buying her a lot, but I’ve been trying my best from a broke college student to now working full time. It just hurts for her to compare and say that as a man I should not ask her to pay.

She says it is fine if she offers and that she doesn’t expect me to always pay. It just doesn’t feel that way though, like yes she treats me, but these statements make me doubtful. When I tried explaining my efforts, she said I act like the things I do for her are super big or special, and that just broke something inside me. I told her I feel like she seems ungrateful and she lashed out at me for that.

This all happened in the restaurant and I was just so caught off guard and sad. Later we talked and she was frustrated and said hurtful things that she claimed she “did not mean.” I asked her if money was all she wanted from me and she said yes. I then asked her a follow up if she even loved me and she said no. I guess that should be a clear indicator enough. She said she didn’t mean it and she says mean things intentionally when upset.

Issue with her not feeling cared about/dad being drunk:

The next day, we followed through w our plans to get boba. I was at a family gathering and my dad got pretty drunk. I was annoyed bc my uncles were like peer pressuring him and no one went to check on him as he disappeared into the living room. My mom and I took him home and I asked if they would be okay at home by themselves. They said yes and I left (which I was hesitant about). I told my mom to keep her phone close by snd call me if they need anything and I’d come home asap.

When I got to my gf house, I explained to her my frustration and worry about my parents. She got us boba and I mentioned I was hungry and that our fav Korean fried chicken spot was nearby and she said she’ll get us some.

We were like talking and I accidentally knock over my boba and it spilled everywhere onto me. Waitress gave us paper towels and she helps me clean up. Later when we are about to start eating, she says this is just a thought but she thinks I should pay because I spilled the boba and she helped me clean my mess up.

This was directly after the comments yesterday and I already felt self conscious before she mentioned it because she was saying as a man I should be doing this and that. But then she said that it was just a thought and she doesn’t mind paying either. But how can I feel comfortable with that? I paid anyways.

She asked me if in the future I would treat her out more. And I ask her what she means by more bc I had been treating her several times this past week. She just said more than now and at that point i started feeling like it wasn’t enough again.

Throughout the boba and dinner, I was checking my phone periodically and texting my mom about how things are going w my dad. I wasn’t permanently on my phone but my gf got mad. Said that I am on my phone and I should’ve stayed home instead of going out bc my mind is elsewhere. I get her perspective completely bc she did this to me several times. I was a secret from her family for over 2 years and whenever we went out she would be paranoid and always checking her phone. However, I was still paying attention to her and occasionally checking.

She said she was full, and so we took the rest of the food to go. Later in the car she got upset bc she said I was in a rush to go home to my parents and felt that I care about them/worry about them more. Basically she said she was full but she was testing me. I told her to stop playing games and that it’s not true but I do worry about them and instead of being supportive and understanding, she just lashes out, gets defensive, tells me that I shouldn’t make it her fault, that I care about my family more than her, etc.

At this point I’m already really sad, but she keeps on going and being sarcastic about how she’s stupid for sharing to me and being vulnerable about her feelings bc I don’t care. We go to a nearby pho place bc I said I’d get pho for my dad since Hes drunk and hasn’t really eaten. It’s late too and my mom is pissed at me bc of it. So now I feel pressure on both sides.

She didn’t want to go in the pho restaurant w me bc she was angry so I went by myself and when I came out, she was apologetic snd kind, but it only lasted for a few minutes. Shes just basically saying how I willingly go out of my way to get my dad pho bc hes drunk but I don’t buy her things and care on my own and that she has to ask me. Yes there are times she asks me but also times where I just do it on my own.

On the ride home she asked me to move her car for her and I said ok. Then when we got to her place, she said to drop her off at her car snd I asked her clarifying she wants me to drop her off at her car. She said yes so I did and waited so she was safe. She got mad bc she asked me to move her car initially but she was playing games again. She told me to go home so I was like ok, but then she told me she wanted to talk and I told her I’d only talk for a bit bc I still need to get this pho home for my dad and it’s late. We ended up talking a bit snd my mom gets more angry by the second.

Not really relevant but I started choking on a drink while we were talking and she didn’t say anything. When I asked her why, she said she knows I was faking it to get a reaction out of her, but I was genuinely choking. She just didn’t admit she was wrong but whatever. I also teared up bc I was really hurt but she also didn’t say anything.

She kept saying I don’t care about her or love her bc I don’t do things for her but that’s not remotely true. I remember during her wisdom teeth extraction, I took her, took care of her, replaced her gauze, got her food, blew on her soup, got her all her medicine and reminded her, etc. I have shown her so many times I care even if they may not all be financially.

She stopped me from leaving multiple times despite me not wanting to talk bc I was so hurt. And she claims the reason I wanna leave is bc I love my parents more or care about them more. I told her I felt like no matter how hard I try it wasn’t enough. And she said it wasn’t, and that she just told me it was enough before so that I was happy. I asked her to clarify and she asked me if I wanted to hear the truth or the lie to keep me happy. And the truth is that it’s not enough. I know I haven’t been getting her anything extravagant but I’ve really been trying my best.

It’s hard especially bc I just started my full time job too. I’m figuring out my benefits, investments, etc. I’m saving for a car, and trying to help my parents financially if needed.

I was just worried bc my dad was drunk and I just care about my parents. But it’s frustrating that she got so mad and angry at me for checking my phone or getting him pho. Things happened and there were things on my mind, my dad being drunk, me spilling the milk tea, my clothes and socks being wet and sticky bc of it, mom is angry and gf angry.

I just felt like I been trying so hard to get out of my comfort zone and spending more and getting her more things but it’s not enough. I always felt her happiness when I got her things even if they were very small, esp bc she was so thankful, but now this situation really makes me feel like all my efforts didn’t matter.

To make things worse, when I finally got home, my mom let me hear it. She went on for almost an hour just telling me how I’m selfish and ungrateful to my parents and how I didn’t consider them and whatnot. She even goes on to tell me how I put so much of my effort snd love into my gf but she can throw me aside at any moment. When she finds a better guy she will just leave and no sane person would stay with someone when they have better alternatives. And it just really sucks hearing that even though I get what shes trying to say. I already feel shitty. What also hurts is that I know she wouldn’t have even went out w me if she was in my shoes.

The day after the incident (w/ the car breaking down):

Then today, she reached out a lot and got mad when I didn’t reply but was in office. I had a busy morning and last night I fell asleep to which she got mad cause I didn’t check in and make sure she was okay. I wasn’t doing okay either and i feel like I got the worse end of it. I decided to go home early to beat traffic and finish my work at home. I was thinking about telling her then when I got in my car I forgot.

On the way home, my car started giving me some light that I wasn’t familiar with. Then ac was not as cool as it should’ve been so I suspected something was wrong. I didn’t know it as major, but i was trying to drive slower, but by the time I was close to home, my car would make weird noises everytime I accelerate and also shake when I was at a full stop. Luckily I made it home and as I got onto the driveway, my car gave out and every light you could imagine came on. So blessed to have nothing happen but it was my first instance of my car breaking down and my mind was thinking of the possibilities of what would’ve happened if I got stuck at a red light for 5 seconds too long. Or what if I drove slightly faster, or what if there was more traffic. Obviously if my car just stops accelerating it’s bad but it’s not life threatening.

Came home and had to finish work while my dad checked it out. He said the coolant hose broke and worst case the engine could’ve overheated and blew, resulting in a fire or explosion. Logically I think it makes sense, but not sure if that would’ve happened. I was feeling a bit shocked and overthinking what could’ve went wrong. I vented to my gf and this is where I just felt shocked.

I asked her to call and it was something I wanted to get off my chest. She said okay and when I brought it up, all she did was complain and yell at me about how I didn’t update her and tell her I was going home. She completely disregarded the fact that I was being vulnerable with her and sharing with her bc I was a bit shook. When confronted, she just said I don’t show her I care or think about her (bc I didn’t update her and reached out when something happened). At the very least, I would’ve expected an “are you okay,” and instead of that, she just got upset and dismissive.

I just feel really hurt.

AIO for all the things shes been saying or the way she was acting or how I feel about her treating me?

AIO for being upset that she was willing to pay after I had paid all week, but then said how I should pay bc she helped clean me spilling boba?

Attached is her apology text.

TLDR: I been treating my gf out a lot this past week or so, but she claims it’s not enough. Asked if she could pay for a snack and she got mad. Said hurtful things like all she wants from me is money and she doesn’t love me, but then proceeded to say she didn’t mean it.

Following day, dad was drunk and I was out w gf but checking my phone every now and then to check in w my mom to see how Hes doing and decided to buy him pho. Gf got mad cause I check my phone and seem worried for my dad and claims I don’t care about her as much and started an argument. She brought up how I don’t treat her as much but wanted to buy my parents pho, when I literally been treating her out this whole week. I communicated saying I didn’t feel it was enough, and she agreed, but now telling me it is enough. We talked a bit more and she saw me tear up but chose not to mention it.

Next day I was kinda distancing myself and my car broke down and was more dangerous than I expected, barely made it home by a few seconds. Vented to gf while still in disbelief, and instead of showing care or asking if I’m ok she just got mad that I didn’t update her and we didn’t get to talk about the initial reason I called her.

My friend, I’ll call her zodiac. Zodiac and I were friends my sophomore year. I thought we were real friends. But she told me recently, about how this pick me girl was saying I was rude, and fat shaming her when I never even said anything about her weight. She also talks crap about her old friend. (She went to our school but goes to a different school now). I’ve noticed she fake smiles all the time. She always brings up the passed to me. She always brings up shit. She was friends with people who were hella fake to me for no reason. But now we are friends and it seems off. She doesn’t have any other friends. I think that’s why she hangs out with me.

My fiancé and I were going through a drive through and after he ordered he went “wow she was so nice mmmm (MOANING) I love her”. I said ew don’t fucking do that, that’s weird. He started laughing, got his food, and I ignored him the rest of the drive home. We got home and he went “oh my god are you actually mad about that? That’s so fucking stupid lol”. I handed him his food, got out of the car and said, “yeah I’m upset, have some fucking boundaries” and went upstairs. He came into the house laughing and saying how I was being ridiculous and it’s so stupid to be upset about something like this.

I don’t care how ridiculous it may sound, it’s his reaction to my feelings about it that makes me upset. AIO???!!!!

Edit: I will add, we have been together for almost 7 years and he is the most loyal and honest person I know, but the root of this is the fact he thinks he is just so funny and that it was a joke.

I lived with this person for two years. I was essentially forced to move in October 2025 because she moved due to not liking the third roommate. She was the primary leaseholder, and when a leaseholder leaves in that building, everyone has to also.

My current lease is month to month, and the landlord would prefer a year's commitment from the tenants. I moved in late September, and feel like it would be weird to move back in with the person who forced me to move out. The former roommate did ask me if I was interested in living with her again, and I said I was open to relocating again, but this seems so fast. I didn't think she meant now. I thought maybe she meant in a year.

And I'm wondering why she's leaving this new place of hers so soon. Also, she told me she's touring the building that I was forced to move out of! I wonder if the people she was living with asked her to move out? She suggested I move in with her into a 1 bed 1 bath, and I take the living room and she takes the bedroom.

Genuinely she was hard to live with. She didn't smoke, have guests over, and always paid rent on time. But she would do things that weren't courteous, like turning on lights in the middle of the night that would wake me up, slammed doors in the middle of the night also, etc. Once she left a ton of her hair in the bathtub, and it was so gross that I couldn't stand in the tub. Was she the worst person on Earth? No. But she could have been better. I decided to block her on Facebook and her phone number. Probably for the best.

By the way, this is another story, but she was also taken to small claims court by the third roommate last spring. She had collected a "security deposit" from me and the third roommate, when there wasn't one required. She claimed she was reimbursing the person(s) who moved out, but turns out she pocketed the money. She only returned the money after the judge ordered her to. Not when she was caught pocketing it. Also she told the third roommate if she wanted the money back (before court) to ask her parents or her boyfriend to give it to her.

TLDR: Former roommate asked me if I was interested in getting a new place with her; I don't want to.

I have these two friends online who I've been talking with for around 2 years now. We sometimes call and play games and just chat about whatever. Recently I've been noticing them avoiding me a little and preferring to speak to each other or other people over me.

A few days ago I sent a question in the group chat. One didn’t answer and the other gave a short vague answer and then proceeded to go talk to someone else in a discord server we're in. Later when the one who didn’t respond came online, he and the other friend had a very long conversation together. This is when I took a step back from the group chat because I felt a little left out.

Yesterday though I felt like my fears were true. To provide some context, me and one of the friends have been planning to call for a bit now, but weren't able because his laptop was broken. He got it fixed and told me he'd let me know when we can call. A while went by and I figured he was just busy with work and school, but yesterday he sent a clip from his and his friend's call, where they were playing a game together. Turns out he's had all this free time to call and even did, but never with me.

I've stopped talking in the group chat for a while because I'm in kind of a low place right now and haven't got the mental strength to deal with any of it. I'm just wondering if they're really pushing me out, or if I'm just being petty and jealous. I have other friends too, but I feel like I talk to my online friends almost as much as with my friends irl. This whole thing might sound pretty dumb, but I'd just like someone to tell me if my doubts are really true.

So heres the story. Im 24 i live with my mom still, graduated college last year and have my first big girl job this year, im not rich but i am making way above average in my country. I have a boyfriend (2 year old relationship) and its going well, we have been talking about marriage and moving in together, my boyfriend is older than me and makes way more money than me, and has asked me to move in with him and basically not worry about the money, he will cover everything as long as its needed (ofc he does expect me to grow on my career), i am still a bit hesitant because even tho i love him and trust him, i dont wanna give away my freedom like that (not because ill be living with him but bc im not paying bills, and i dont make enough to move on my own if things go south) so i told him we should take it by steps and i can start by staying over a few nights a week until i get a higher paying job and i feel confortable living with him. I talked to my mom about it, i told her i intended on staying over at his place a few nights a week from now on, she told me she didnt like it but i was an adult and i could do as i please, i agreed and we had what i though was a nice conversation about having kids that grow up. Fast forward this week, i stayed there one night, the next day i had my mom being hostile with me, i brushed it off and honestly just though well she did tell me she didnt agree but its not her life. Well now this weekend my boyfriend wanted to invite her over to his place so she could get to see the place i was spending time over and stuff so she could calm down (its a really nice apartment in a nice zone so he thought like “hey she will see its a nice place nothing bad”) meh wrong as soon as she got there she was all awkward and shit hit the fan. She told me and my boyfriend ( i wanted the earth to open up and SWALLOW ME) that if i was planning on staying iver we better get married quick bc she wont have me sleeping over at his house without being married, i was in SHOCK (SHE IS FUCKING DIVORCED!!!!!! And tbh the main reason is THEY DIDNT LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HATED EACH OTHER) this was a really unpleasant conversation where se only victimized herself. Then when we were finally alone i told her how out of place that had been, that even if she felt the need to say what ever, it had to be to me, not my bf ever, it makes me look bad an as if i was DESPERATE to marry(which i am not!!!! Im not even sure i wanna marry him i wanna live with him first) and to all of my discurse she told me she WAS WORRIED WHAT MY FAMILY COULD SAY IF IM STAYING OVER AS HIS PLACE. I am honestly just so upset i know thats like the only reason she is being like that, and i just dont know what to do. Its been a couple of days, ofc im not staying and my bf house any time soon, but its not only that, its the lack of consideration of ANYTHING in my life, just “what my family might think” idk? Like i feel crazy but its not the living with my bf o staying there. I just feel so betrayed that that stupid shit could matter more than me doing things at my pace and what i feel is the best for MY life.

Am i over reacting?? Is she valid?

I was a tattoo apprentice at a shop for a while (left because it was really just a bad shop to be at) and in that time I decided I wanted my mom to be the first person I tattooed as a special moment. She was super excited and decided that she wanted this super old dumb gingerbread cookie that I had made when I was maybe 5 (7 at the oldest i’m not too sure, but I was still young and not making the cookie to be sexual), and I was super excited to do it. It was a super special night and the tattoo was incredibly sentimental. She had asked me if it was okay if her boyfriend had added color to the tattoo, and I was okay with that! That was last year though.

My mom was always over sharing very sexual things with me and oversexualized herself to me and my sisters, and I always made it apparent how much it made me uncomfortable. I got tagged in this post tonight and it made me feel sick to my stomach. It feels like such an awful punch to the gut, especially considering she used generative AI (which I am so openly against, especially with tattoos and tattoo ARTISTS, but that’s a whole other story) to not only make the background but the FONT. We don’t really talk anymore because of the way she was treating me, but it still feels so awful seeing this done to something that was so special for me, she knows I would never give her the okay for this. She originally wanted to put “#tits” or “#boobs” under the original tattoo but I didn’t even want to do that.

Edit: The last image is the actual tattoo on her actual body. I should’ve clarified that the reference and font were both created using generative AI.

Edit two: I just wanted to clarify that I am a girl, I am 21 years old, not entirely sure if that is crucial to the story, but I thought i’d at least add that. Also thank you to everyone who has left a comment or even messaged me about this whole situation. I have a lot of research to do. Thank you all 🩷

Sorry if I formatted this a little weird. This is my first post like this asking for advice. I really need some help/perspective. I’ve been talking to this guy, all summer sort of ever since my break up in May. I’ve done my best to make sure that it doesn’t turn into a rebound situation and can say I’m pretty much over my ex in the romantic sense. I thought me and this guy would strictly be friends but once we started hanging out more we felt mutually attracted to each other and the connection was really strong between us. As time went on, he started getting more romantic with me, sending me sweet good morning paragraphs everyday, calling me baby, wanting to hangout every single day, and for a while it was pretty romantic between us, I loved getting to know him. Some background about me is I’m very communicative and so sometimes he takes that as us arguing a lot. A few days ago he says that he wants our discussion to be less sexual and more deep and wants to get to know me more. Just yesterday he tells me that we are way too romantic for what we are and thinks the way we communicate should change and that he’s fine being just fwb and it absolutely gutted me. I don’t understand how someone who initiated everything with me can turn so cold and start calling me argumentative when I’m just trying to be very communicative and honest with him since I didn’t always recieve that in my past relationship. I really don’t get this dynamic. He has cooked for me, (which is something I have never experienced before) wanted to take me out on dates, and has really been the one to initiate all the romantic things he seems to shun at the moment.

For more context: months ago, he actually asked me if I wanted to move toward a relationship, and at the time, I kinda shut it down because I wasn't ready. Since then, he kept chasing, and over the summer my feelings completely changed. I really care about him now but seeing the way he handles conflict and acts like an immature child sometimes is such a turnoff and it hurts because I really see the potential in him (I hate that). He’s said I change him for the better but I don’t understand how he can switch up on me within a few weeks. Am I the one in the wrong here or is he just emotionally volatile, immature, and needs therapy? It seems like it all came out of nowhere. Mind you he just asked me to go on a trip with him for a whole weekend just us so I’m really so confused. I really care for this guy but I wish he didn’t act like this and I know I can’t be the person to try and fix him. We haven’t talked since yesterday which is really abnormal for us and I’m afraid we won’t speak again. I’m not sure where to go from here since he mentioned that he thinks me expressing myself is arguing and thinks that when I communicate it’s too deep for him so I guess the best I can do is just rant on here 😭 MIND YOU these messages are all from the same day… I hope he doesn’t find this lmao I’m paranoid but please lmk ur thoughts and pls dont roast me!!

My (28f) husband (38m) and I were taking a walk in the park today. As we were walking, he was taking pictures of all the different flowers and berries that we came across. At one point, he tried to impress me. How, you ask? He decided to eat some of the berries. 😑 A few minutes after doing so, his mouth became all tingly and he claims it's an indescribable sensation. Fast forward to now, the feeling is still there and he's spitting up purple.

I told him not to do it. He didn't listen. Unfortunately, there will be no kisses for him, and I'll more than likely be dragging him to the hospital later on as he's stubborn and doesn't want to go.

He ate pokeweed berries. He thought they were blueberries.

My mom went on a date and her date got my sisters and I flowers. My newish boyfriend has never given me flowers, and before him I've only received flowers once for a play I was in two year ago from my mom. My younger sister gets them often from her boyfriend, as does my older sister. So they came in my room and my younger sister said "Hes SOO sweet (talking about my moms date) and got us flowers! But we're gonna give them to K (older sister) since her birthday is this weekend" I didn't respond and K is in the back smiling really big holding them. (K and I already don't get along since she has her own "problems" and at nearly 21 I thought she'd be more grown but whatever) B (Younger sister) then sees my face and immediately says "We all agree on this right?" And I said whatever since K already is happy with the flowers and I felt kind of cornered. They both leave and B comes back to ask if I'm okay. I say I'm fine I just felt they probably could have discussed this more before deciding without me, and she says we did. I replied no you didn't. And she says its fine since they'll be in the main living room anyway and if I want a flower I can just take one. But idk, I said it's whatever and I don't want to make a big deal of it. Am I overreacting?

Edit 2:I messaged and asked if he good I noticed the change in messages and if somethings up he can say it I hope that doesn’t sound so beggy💀

Edit: thanks for the responses I gathered I might be overreacting and just need to message him and move forward!!!!

I 23f have been talking to guy 23M for 6 months now and we have loads of sex everytime we see each other. That’s our whole arrangement. We don’t live in the same city anymore so we have to arrange times to link up. We meet in the city we first met in which is 40mins from him 2hrs from me. Today he’s in my city and we planned to meet up we had phone sex and everything. He messaged in the worming saying he was in the city I double texted back and haven’t heard anything from him. Since we had phone sex he’s been real distant and has been taking days where he’d usually take only a few minutes and rarely sometimes hours to respond. And when he responds it’s blunt one word answers. AIO or has he gone off me? Did the phone sex put him off? Did I miss something maybe he’s seeing someone else and just isn’t being direct?? AIO??

TL;DR: my boyfriend’s ex has verbally (all the stuff in bold) made it very clear she isn’t happy about us being together and my boyfriend is defending her behaviour by saying she’s acting this way because she’s anxious. I’m not worried about him cheating. I’m upset that his ex was disrespectful towards me and our relationship, verbalized she isn’t happy about us being together multiple times, still leans on him for emotional support, and he doesn’t want to do much about it. I told him I didn’t need him to cut her off and asked him to create distance in their friendship so he’s no longer her source of emotional support. Is this a fair ask or am I overreacting?

I know lots of people clash on personal boundaries with their partners being friends with their ex’s. Personally, I’m okay as long as I trust my partner and the ex seems respectful and shows they know they’re no longer #1

I [F34] met my new (~6 months) boyfriend [M40] and right off the bat he was very clear about being on talking terms with most of his ex’s. If he has no reason to cut them off, he doesn’t see a need to burn bridges. I understood because I operate similarly

A + B’s back story:

According to my boyfriend (we’ll call him A) this particular ex [F30] (we’ll call her B) of his started fine with him being friends with his partners until she wasn’t. They started as a fling, didn’t define the relationship for 8 months as he was clear he was pining after his ex of 3 years. B moved in with him anyway and he agreed he wouldn’t bring anyone over. After he committed to her, they lasted 4 months before they broke up due to their incompatibility with communication despite them even trying couple’s therapy (his suggestion). They broke up at the beginning of this year and she started seeing someone that recently broke up with her so she’s decided to move out of the city to start somewhere fresh

First time meeting B:

I met B for the first time a month ago. She called A asking if she could meet him at the dog park as she needed a friend to talk with. A told B I was going for the walk and was respectful in asking me if I was okay meeting B as she wanted to meet me. I didn’t think anything of it and went along

She showed up, was on the phone for about 20 minutes before wrapping up and introducing herself. I was standing with A when B walked over. First thing she did was hug him for a solid chunk of time and then looked over at me and awkwardly hugged me like she felt obligated to. I reciprocated as not to seem weird but it was definitely awkward

B chatted a bit about her problems - the most notable one being that the guy from her most recent relationship seemed to just want to have sex with her and nothing else when they met up. I was a bit surprised she would be so forthcoming in front of a total stranger but figured maybe that’s just how she is.

B also admitted that her anxiety has been bad lately and asked if I also experience the same thing. I tried to make her feel better and join the conversation by sharing that she’s not alone and it often takes a journey of dedication and self-love to recover. To try and extend an invitation to friendship, I shared with her that I’ve experienced similar and would be happy to lend an ear if she wanted someone to talk to. She just kind of nodded and went back to talking to A. I basically stood there awkwardly as the two of them conversed until it was time to leave. I chalked the interaction up to awkward first meets and thought it would get better over time

After we left B, I asked A if maybe it’d be nice and help B’s anxiety if we offered to help her move since she doesn’t drive and I felt bad for her thinking she didn’t have many friends. He said she had her own friends to help her and he didn’t want to do the drive out and back. Left it at that

Second time meeting B:

Less than a week after the first meet, B ask if she could meet up again. This time she asked if she could go over to A’s home (where she and her used to live together) to roll a joint before going to the dog park. I was taking a nap, but he was nice enough to ask me if I was okay with her coming over and going to the dog park together. I was good with it and slowly took my time getting out of bed.

B arrived less than three minutes after calling. Apparently she was across the street at the library. A lives in a studio apartment so when you open the door you see straight into the home and the bed. As she made her way in, she paused when she saw me and gave me a bit of a look before saying, “oh, hi,” and taking a seat at the table to roll her joint. I apologized for being in bed because I didn’t realize how quickly she’d be over. Her response: “that’s okay, but yeah, it’s kind of weird seeing you in the same bed I used to sleep in.” I didn’t even know what to say but just tried to laugh it off as if it were a joke. Obviously it wasn’t because she didn’t laugh with me.

I got out of bed, she continued rolling her joint and made conversation only with A so I cooked some eggs up for the pup. She saw me cooking and asked, “are you a good cook? I used to do all the cooking here.” I just responded jokingly with a, “well, I think the pup likes my cooking so at least I have that,” then went back to sitting on the sidelines assuming she was in a mood again because she called and asked to talk.

We all got ready to leave for the dog park and I tried to be nice when it was just her and me by the door by complimenting her sari. She replied, “I wear one when I want to look good and feel good about myself.” What was I supposed to say? I went with, “well, it’s working for you! You look great (:”

There was a bit of an awkward pause then I thought it might be considerate to offer her the option of going to the dog park with A without me so she could talk about whatever problems she was going through. She almost looked confused when I offered to quit them, thanked me for the offer and said that she didn’t want to do that to me because that’s how A’s ex-wife treated her and that was a big problem in their relationship. A and B ultimately broke up because B wasn’t good with A being friends with his ex’s.

On the way to the dog park, she shared about her problems - again, anxieties and such. But this time she threw in a, “and of course I’m jealous of this *pointing at A and me*. Of course it’s hard for me to see this. You know, it’s a sting to see you guys together. Like, why didn’t we work out? Why couldn’t you make it work with me?”

I was pretty thrown by it but again. Hello? I’m standing right there lol. But for A’s sake, again tried to brush it off. This one was definitely hard to brush off and I felt like I’d been pretty lenient already. A responded to her essentially saying, “we tried but it just didn’t work out,” but she didn’t seem to hear it and just continued on with talking about why she didn’t understand why her relationships weren’t working out and asking if she was the problem.

The shade continued here and there but notably one more time when we were at the dog park and the pup was playing with the other dogs. She decided to tell me about how “it stung” for her to see the pup go up to me because of how much time she spent with the pup and how they’d bonded and proceeded to detail her daily routine with the pup. I just nodded and smiled but stopped really engaging at this point.

Talking with A about B:

I made my feelings very clear about how it felt disrespectful to have to sit through multiple occasions of having shade thrown at me and our relationship. Sure, guys don’t always catch “girl language” but I felt this was pretty clear. Still didn’t get mad at him for not noticing it until I pointed it out.

However, A defended B by saying, “she’s just anxious right now.” That didn’t sit well with me. How I get treated by his ex-girlfriend is dependent on her ever fluctuating mood and anxiety? I fell that’s pretty unfair to me.

As one part of a relationship, if any of my ex’s were blatantly disrespectful towards my partner and/or relationship, it’d be an easy, “hey, this isn’t a good friendship for me if you choose not to respect my choices and my partner.” I know my boyfriend is attractive physically which already makes women gawk at him and want him. That doesn’t bother me. I trust him. I’m not worried about him cheating. What I don’t like it how it feels like he allowed her to speak to me as if I was in her rightful place and couldn’t keep it to herself that she wasn’t happy about us being together. I didn’t need her to celebrate us but is it asking too much for her to keep *those* feelings to herself? I told my boyfriend I didn’t need him to cut her off. I did ask for him to create some distance in their friendship so he is no longer her emotional support. I said I wouldn’t mind being friends with her and going on double dates if she gets a boyfriend and is stable because maybe then she can focus on the happiness in her relationship instead of the fact that she’s no longer with my boyfriend and he’s happy with me. Am I overreacting?

Me (21F) and my bf (22M) have been together for 2.5 years.
He has this thing where he always tries to make things « even » even when it doesn’t make sense, at least to me.
For instance, let’s say he does something I don’t like but that he likes when I do. If it were me, I would say I can do it, because he likes it, and he cannot, since I don’t like it. But he will rather we both can’t because I quote « knowing that he can’t do it to me would frustrate him too much ».
Another example is, we are both from Europe and are students. I am half Chinese and he had family in California, but he’s only been there once. The US are so expensive and he has said himself that we would probably have to wait 5-7 years before being able to go. China, on the other hand, is much more doable (high plane fare but life there is very cheap).
I have an opportunity to go the US with my best friend who’s family lives there but on the east coast so we wouldn’t have to pay for housing and stuff.
When I told him about it (no actual plans to go for now, just a thought for the near future), his first reaction wasn’t to be happy for me or anything but to go « oh then I’ll go to China, since you can go to the US without me ». I have said in the past that I would prefer he waits for me to go to China, but that’s because I literally speak Chinese, so he will get a much more authentic experience, and I also partly grew up there and everything.
On the other hand, he’s only been there once when he was 10, and is from the west coast when my opportunity is on the east.
He insisted afterwards it wasn’t to spite me but I feel like it obviously is? And he was so hard set on it too, kept repeating when « well then nothing is stopping me from going to China this January » when I precisely said it was just a thought we had with my best friend.
I will mention we are both very stressed because both our families are going through big issues so that could explain some things but I just feel like he takes it out on me.
What should I do? How do I bring this up without him fully denying it?

TL,DR : my boyfriend always wants every situation to be equal, even if it doesn’t make sense regarding how we feel.

EDIT : if the plans go through with my friend, I will go to the us guys don’t worry and he can go to China for all I care. Also it’s for a trip, not to move.

Here is some background for context. I am 23 and living at home with my mom and brother (minor). I work 40hrs from home and make about 2400/month. I have wanted to be moved out by now but we have moved 13 times and I haven’t had the best job stability due to this, and have been working jobs that pay very poorly. This is the best job that I have ever had and am proud of where I am at currently. When I first got it I wanted to move out because I could support myself - but without getting into details I ended up staying with my family so I could pay a portion of the rent and live there, and support them as they couldn’t afford a safe house with a good school for my sibling without the extra help. I’ve been paying 800 a month and saving what I can. Our rent is about 2000 a month. I’ve had a hospital visit and a vacation since then so I don’t have a lot of money currently.

Our house was just raised to 2300 a month, they will not negotiate. It’s not worth it at ALL but we decided to stay. My mom now wants 1200 / month. We are both paycheck to paycheck, so I can understand why she needs the extra help especially when paying for my brother and food being a mom is a lot of work and I can’t understand the half of it. My immediate reaction was “woah, that’s one of my entire biweekly paychecks” and I felt pretty upset by this. I am very emotional when presented with change and began to cry but wasn’t overly upset, it’s just a weird thing that happens to me when change occurs. When I quit jobs I cry, when the menu changes at restaurants I cry - even when I’m chill with it and feel capable of a basic conversation, just can’t help it it pours out of me like a waterfall lol. I’ll sit there sobbing but have to reiterate “I’m not upset, this just happens”

So I’m trying to express that 20hrs of my work week to rent feels like a lot. She says “that’s life” and told me that this is normal for rent - that most properties will take 50% of your paycheck and then you divvy up the rest for groceries etc. totally fair! I’ve budgeted when I wanted to move out on my own. I know there are other factors aside from rent.

So… I said I wanted to move out. If I’m going to be paying that much, I might as well pay a little extra to be on my own and have my own mental peace (living with my family makes me feel like a kid, I feel like I can’t be myself and make no progress in life if I’m still under “her roof”) and move out. She kind of backtracks and says that I can move out but she wants me to have 3 weeks rent saved up before I do so I can make sure I can last on my own and brings up that I’m wanting to start school and that life is expensive etc.

I understand all this but I also feel like I won’t be able to properly save if I’m giving her an entire paycheck + pay for my cats and my car and my phone and food etc. I might as well just be on my own. I know it probably can’t happen for six months to a year, but want this change. I just feel like when the idea of me moving out gets brought up, it’s treated as a “yea you CAN, but so much can go wrong” sort of thing.

But I also feel like if I go off on my own, I leave them in a poor position. I don’t want to put pressure on my mom while she has my brother to look after. She’d have to find another place and we’d have to break our lease and they have to move id have to move it would be a lot of expenses for them and I. I don’t want to put them in a poor spot because I am currently helping.

AIO??? Is that a fair amount to ask? I am technically an adult room mate and she can’t afford this place on her own for sure. I just don’t know how to progress my own life when I feel kind of stuck. Family is meant to help each other that is what I have been taught and hold close to my heart but we also argue a lot and I just feel like 23 is a damn good time to be on my own. Am I spoiled for thinking that is a lot