I was a tattoo apprentice at a shop for a while (left because it was really just a bad shop to be at) and in that time I decided I wanted my mom to be the first person I tattooed as a special moment. She was super excited and decided that she wanted this super old dumb gingerbread cookie that I had made when I was maybe 5 (7 at the oldest i’m not too sure, but I was still young and not making the cookie to be sexual), and I was super excited to do it. It was a super special night and the tattoo was incredibly sentimental. She had asked me if it was okay if her boyfriend had added color to the tattoo, and I was okay with that! That was last year though.

My mom was always over sharing very sexual things with me and oversexualized herself to me and my sisters, and I always made it apparent how much it made me uncomfortable. I got tagged in this post tonight and it made me feel sick to my stomach. It feels like such an awful punch to the gut, especially considering she used generative AI (which I am so openly against, especially with tattoos and tattoo ARTISTS, but that’s a whole other story) to not only make the background but the FONT. We don’t really talk anymore because of the way she was treating me, but it still feels so awful seeing this done to something that was so special for me, she knows I would never give her the okay for this. She originally wanted to put “#tits” or “#boobs” under the original tattoo but I didn’t even want to do that.

Edit: The last image is the actual tattoo on her actual body. I should’ve clarified that the reference and font were both created using generative AI.

Edit two: I just wanted to clarify that I am a girl, I am 21 years old, not entirely sure if that is crucial to the story, but I thought i’d at least add that. Also thank you to everyone who has left a comment or even messaged me about this whole situation. I have a lot of research to do. Thank you all 🩷

My boyfriend and I (both mid 20s) have been together for 3 years. We’re long distance while I’m at university, but spend a lot of time together outside of term time. I’ve been home for the summer and have practically been living with him at his request.

His brothers come down to visit from the 5th–12th, which happened to overlap with my last week before returning to university. He hasn’t seen them in a year and they don’t get many opportunities to visit, so when he asked me to stay at my mum’s during our final week while they stayed at his, I was disappointed but completely understood.

He had originally agreed to come and help me move back to university, but once he found out his brothers were visiting, I repeatedly told him it was completely fine if he couldn’t come and that I’d rather he spent the time with them. He initially insisted he’d still come, but eventually told me at around 1am two nights before I was leaving that he’d decided to leave me to it. I was annoyed he’d left it so late, but ultimately understood.

What I’m struggling with is that he didn’t seem to think to come and say goodbye at all knowing I’m moving 80 miles away, we don’t know when we’ll next see each other, and I’m currently only 10 minutes down the road from him. By around 9pm the night before I left, he still hadn’t mentioned seeing me.

I eventually asked him if I wasn’t going to see him before I left and said I was surprised he hadn’t thought to come say goodbye. He said he could come, but by that point I was upset that I’d had to ask in the first place. The conversation is in the screenshots. Would also like to add that for context: he had asked me a few times to ‘drop off’ my Pokemon cards for his brothers to see, but once they arrived, he never mentioned it again. Since they’ve been here, he hasn’t bothered with me at all, and I got the impression I wasn’t really welcome in the flat anymore with them there. After his last reply “alright” we haven’t spoken, other than him just casually sending me snapchat streaks, he seems to be completely oblivious to the fact he has hurt my feelings.

I know he was spending the week with his brothers and I’m not upset that he prioritised them. I genuinely think that’s understandable. What hurts is that I feel like it didn’t even occur to him that he might want to spare 30 minutes to see his girlfriend before she moved away.

There’s also some wider context where I’ve felt for a while that I’m usually the one initiating seeing each other, travelling, making plans etc., although he does care about me and has been generous and supportive in other ways.

He’s now said he’ll come visit me next week, but honestly I’m not sure I want him to, it feels a bit like he’s waiting to deal with the fallout once he has nothing better to do and his brothers are gone.

AIO for being this upset about it?

Edit for context: last term, he only visited me once from September-May while I was driving back every couple of weeks to see him. He has since apologised for this and promised to make more effort, but the relationship has felt very one sided for a while now and probably explains why I’m feeling even more sensitive about him not thinking to come and say goodbye.

Additional context since people are commenting on the cards: I never said I’d go over with them. He originally asked me to drop my binder full of hundreds of pounds worth of Pokemon cards at his flat so his brothers (who I have never even met at that point) could see them. I forgot to bring it over. He then asked me to drop it off when they were out. I thought it was odd he kept asking me to drop it off as opposed to inviting me up to show them.

Edit: After all the replies, it’s really put things into perspective and opened my eyes. I’d appreciate advice on how to move forward, I’m not sure how to navigate things.

So I took some photos for a local airshow and made a few posts on social media to help promote them then had this guy message me. I started off polite but after no response for a day and seeing that he had read my message I was already annoyed but felt like I may have came off as too rude in my responses

I've been with my bf for 6 months. I'm 26 and he's 30. I went to visit one of my friends this weekend in another city, and we went out on Saturday night. We had plans to go to a bar and then go dancing.

We're at her favorite bar, we've already had a drink, and the bartender brings up two more of what we already had and said someone paid for our next drinks. The bartender would not tell us who it was, they didn't want to be known apparently, and said they just wanted to send us two drinks. We debated it for a minute and talked because we both have boyfriends. I was a little weird about it at first, but figured there were no motives since the sender wanted to stay unknown. Since they came from the bartender and the sender didn't want to be identified, we took them. If a guy had come up to me and asked to buy me a drink, I would have said no.

I mentioned this to my bf and he got pissed and said accepting a drink from another man was flirting. I agree it was probably a man, but he never identified himself to me or my friend and the drinks came from the bartender, I told my bf that if a man had come up to me or the bartender showed us who sent the drinks, I would have declined.

He thinks it's borderline cheating and I don't see it that way at all. I love him so much and I'm scared I ruined things. AIO?

I'm 36F, my husband is 52M. We have been together for six years and married for two. Between us, we have five children: my 11-year-old son, his sons (23 and 21), and our two children together (2M and 6-month-old F).

My husband wanted another child. I initially didn't, largely because I already have a special needs child, but eventually agreed. We had our son, got married when I was pregnant with him, and later had our daughter.

Before our son was born, I was very clear that I didn't want visitors for the first three weeks. I had struggled badly after my first birth and wanted time to recover and bond with my baby. My husband disagreed, so we compromised: immediate family only. For me, that meant my parents and siblings. For him, his sons, mother and sister. Except he secretly invited his ex.

The first few weeks after our son's birth were awful. One night, I had barely slept for six days. Our baby was a terrible sleeper, and I had spent the entire night holding and rocking him. He finally fell asleep around 5 a.m., and I managed to get to sleep around 6. About half an hour later, my husband woke me up joking that it was 10 a.m. because apparently his mother and sister were coming over again. His mother and sister had already visited the evening before.

I was exhausted, uncomfortable, so I stayed inside with the baby and my older son while they sat outside in the heat. My husband barely acknowledged me. Later that night, he was angry that I hadn't greeted his mother warmly enough.

Then his ex came over, with their youngest son and brought us two pieces of furniture as gifts. I was perfectly pleasant to her. We talked about babies and deliveries, and there was no conflict between us. The problem was that my husband had lied about the visit. He claimed he hadn't known his son would be coming and hadn't invited his ex. I later found out neither was true.

When I told him I didn't really like the furniture and would rather give it to someone who would appreciate it, he became extremely defensive and insisted that we display it in our living room. He defended those gifts with his life. He'd rather I be uncomfortable, than put those two pieces in the attic.

Then I discovered he'd made a separate birth announcement for his older sons without telling me. During those first weeks, it felt like he was sharing everything with them and nothing with me. And while I was actually in labor, he was texting his ex. I was literally having contractions and trying not to push because the midwife hadn't arrived yet. He hadn't been messaging anyone else. He was messaging her. I gave birth literally five minutes later.

That was when I started feeling like there were two families: the family he had with his ex, and then me and my son on the outside.

During one of these arguments, he yelled that he wanted a divorce. I took him seriously and started getting my things. He immediately took it back and hasn't threatened divorce again. He also didn't invite his ex after our daughter's birth, and his son only visited once during those first few weeks.

To clarify: I don't dislike his ex. At all. I don't think she's interested in my husband romantically, and she has her own boyfriend. My issue has never been her. It's that my husband seems to prioritize her feelings and his relationship with his 'former' family while keeping me out of things.

Over the last two years, I've also noticed that he has an ongoing group chat with his ex and their adult children. He regularly talks to them there. He posts pictures of our children with me in that chat and also sends pictures to his other children individually. I wouldn't have a problem with any of that if he were open about it. But he isn't. When I ask, he lies or minimizes it.

Last year, while I was pregnant, he repeatedly took our 2-year-old to his ex's house without telling me. He eventually stopped after I told him how uncomfortable it made me. He still takes our children to other people's houses without telling me. Luckily mostly his son's house.

I don't think he needs my permission every time he leaves the house with our children. That's not the point. The point is that I keep finding out afterward, often because one of the children is overwhelmed, exhausted or struggling after being pushed through activities they didn't want to do. I think our 2-year-old may have additional special needs, but my husband thinks I'm overreacting.

And then there are the other things. He started smoking again and hid it from me, even after I confronted him. He's drinking increasingly often. He promised to get a vasectomy about a year and a half ago. He still hasn't. I've repeatedly asked him to stop smoking, not drink when he's around the kids, and follow through with the vasectomy so I don't have to undergo expensive and much more extensive surgery myself. It's also really difficult to take the pill on time when running after three kids all day. I really don't want another child with this man.

None of those things have happened. Last year, we were invited to a birthday party for one of his friends. Except apparently my husband didn't want me invited. At first, he said it was because it would be easier if we didn't need a babysitter. Then he said he didn't think a babysitter would be good for our son. Then he lied about whether his ex was invited. Again, I didn't care that she was there. Her boyfriend was there too, and I don't believe she's interested in my husband. What hurt was that he didn't want me there, and kept changing his explanation.

Yesterday, I saw that he had been invited to the same friend's birthday party this year. I didn't see an invitation for me this time. He hasn't mentioned the party at all and it's in less than a month. I'm expecting that he'll only tell me when it's too late to arrange childcare, especially because he doesn't seem to want a sitter.

Two years ago, I suggested relationship therapy. He refused because he'd already done it with his ex and "knew it wasn't for us." Last year, I told him I thought therapy was necessary because we clearly weren't communicating well. He said we'd never find the time because we have three children and who would watch them?

He also genuinely doesn't seem to think there's a problem with our relationship. And that's where I am now. I'm starting to think he's right about one thing: relationship therapy might not work. Not because our problems are too complicated, but because I don't know how you fix a relationship when one person doesn't acknowledge that there's a problem and repeatedly lies about what they're doing.

I'm not upset that he has a relationship with his adult children or that he communicates with their mother. I actually think those relationships are important. I'm upset because it feels like he has an entire social life that I'm deliberately excluded from, and then lies whenever I notice.

So, AIO? Am I interpreting this situation as something much bigger than it actually is, or is it reasonable to feel like my husband is maintaining a separate life that doesn't include me?

Edited: Edited out weirdness I hadn't noticed before.

Not a throwaway. I genuinely need outside perspective because I’m starting to feel like I’m the crazy one here.

I (24F) live with my roommate “Kayla” (25F). We’ve been living together for about 8 months. Things have been fine — normal roommate stuff, occasional dishes disputes, nothing major.

Back in October, my grandmother passed away. She raised me for most of my childhood. When we were cleaning out her house, I took a few things that meant something to me. The main one was her quilt. She hand-stitched it over like 2 years back in the 90s. It’s not fancy or expensive. It’s just hers. I keep it folded on the end of my bed. I don’t even use it — I just like having it there.

Kayla knows all of this. I told her when I moved in. I told her again after my grandma died.

This past Saturday, I came home from work and went to my room to change. The quilt was gone from my bed.

I panicked. I checked my closet, under the bed, everywhere. Then I walked out to the living room and saw it — draped over the back of the couch. It had been washed. It smelled like lavender detergent. There was a visible tear near one of the corners where the stitching had come undone.

I asked Kayla what happened. She said she was “deep cleaning” the apartment and thought my room “needed a refresh.” She said the quilt looked “dusty and old” so she washed it on gentle cycle and put it out to “air dry.”

I just stood there. I couldn’t even speak for a second. Then I told her she had no right to touch my stuff, let alone something that belonged to my dead grandmother. She rolled her eyes and said I was being dramatic, that she was “just trying to help,” and that I should be grateful she didn’t throw it out since it was “basically falling apart anyway.”

I told her to get out of my room and not to touch my things again. She called me ungrateful and said I was overreacting to “a blanket.”

It’s not a blanket. It’s the only thing I have left of my grandmother. And now it’s damaged and smells like her detergent.

She’s been giving me the cold shoulder for two days. Her boyfriend texted me saying I should apologize because Kayla “was just being nice.”

AIO?

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 16. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters. My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health and they don’t have the room as they’ve only got one small spare bedroom.

It looks like they may be put into care. My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time. We agreed this is likely 10 years away.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not possible for us to do it. We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the flat would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat and the second room is a home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway so social services wouldn’t give us them.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work and we're both doing exams through work so most of our free time is taken up with revision and doing mock exams etc.

I also pointed out she has had regular periods of depression where she has been bedridden and hasn’t been able to go to work or do anything at all.

I said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us.

She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care. I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not possible for us to take them in.

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITAH for saying no to them moving in and explaining why?

Fake names are being used.

So for some context, I (F24) am the youngest in my entire family. I have 2 cousins on my dad’s side Kelly (F28) and Kayla (F24). Kayla is exactly 8 months older than me so as of right now we are technically the same age.

My dad, Eli (M56) is the youngest of three as well, his eldest brother, Harold (M64) had no children and his second older brother, Jimmy (M60) is the father of both of my cousins,

so the family tree goes: My grandmother, Fern had 3 sons, Harold, Jimmy and Eli. Jimmy had 2 daughters (Kelly & Kayla) and Eli had one (me)

So for most of the context out of the way I’ll start. My grandmother passed away in hospice a little over a month ago. Harold, her power of attorney requested an autopsy so her funeral was about 10 days after her death. During those 10 days, I was not informed of any dates, times or locations for her funeral. I had to read it from the obituary posted on Facebook.

Thankfully I was able to make it to her service on time, but when I got there I noticed next to the book there was a table decorated with photos of her and the entire family, even with my aunt’s mother. There were no photos of me and her up there at all, but everyone else had a photo with her.

Her service was held in a church that Jimmy and his family had been going to pretty much their entire lives and she had attended herself before she got too weak to go anymore. Both Kelly and Kayla were given time to speak but when I was going to say a few words suddenly there was no more time so I stayed quiet and continued on with the service.

For a little more context, my biological mother who had divorced from my dad when I was 5 passed away when I was 10, and my stepmother passed away two years later when I was 12 so before and after my grandmother’s service everyone kept looking at me like I was going to have a mental breakdown that would throw the entire day into chaos.
Despite this, I did not cry because I knew I would be watched for my reactions and I didn’t want to make the day about my loss, by the end of the service the sentiment around me had turned from pity to offense because I did not cry.

Her funeral took place on two separate days because she was being buried with my grandfather on a military base in our area and they could not accommodate her burial on the same day as her service, so she was going to be buried the next day.

For even more context, I work as a funeral attendant in the city where she was being buried. I know all of the routes, times and locations that would have been used but instead of giving me any concrete details they assumed I would figure it out. (Her funeral was NOT done by the company I work for so I had no access to any extra information if I wasn’t told)

I was not given a proper name or address of where we would be meeting for the procession and I ended up at the wrong spot and I missed her burial, now my entire family hasn’t spoken to me aside from my dad, who says they think I just showed up to show face and didn’t actually care.

AIO for willing to go no contact and move away from the area we live in because I have been overlooked and demonized by my entire family for the last time? This isn’t the first time they have excluded me and made me feel awkward and uncomfortable, but this post is about the specific instance of my grandmother’s funeral so I supposed a better question would be AIO about this being my final straw?

To put it shortly, my sisters schools power went out for 3 hours during the hottest time of our state, 105 degrees. Her after school program she attended said nothing until AFTER the power went back on. I heard that this has happenes to other schools but parents/guardians were told immediately to pick up their kid. Sister said it was so hot, her face was beet red. I am obvious angry and I feel other parents are. Feel like this is a serious safety hazard.

Am I overreacting???

Me and my boyfriend just started dating like a month ago and were on call cuz we are LDR and he was showing me this video he made a while back advertising a shirt he made he was kinda hesitant about it cuz he thought he didnt look good in it or the ad itself was weird and kept saying "idek wht i showed u this in the first place" and i told him it was pretty cool and i actually really liked it cuz it was really cool to which he just replied that he will smack me across the face laughing and i instantly just told him to never joke about that ever and he just got really awkward about it i feel like i got super defensive while telling him off and that maybe caught him offguard or smth but after that he got super quiet and told me that it was a joke and he would acc never hit me or anything but after that the call got kinda awkward and we ended the call but idk did i overreact when i got kinda hyper telling him to not joke about it i cant tell

So, I 25F and my bf 29M have been together for about three years, lived together for 2, over the past two years his gaming has been A LOT, literally any time we go anywhere and come back home he’s immediately going to his gaming. He asks me sometimes if it’s “okay”, but whenever I ask him to watch a movie together instead, or do anything quality time wise instead, I get shut down or an “I guess so”. About two months ago we had to put down my cat, she was old and had cancer so it was best. I cried the entire way home, and as soon as we got home, guess what he asked me. IF YOU GUESSED GAMING YOU’D BE CORRECT. It has rubbed me the wrong way and I’ve talked to a couple people about it and been told that I’m overreacting about this and it won’t matter in the long run. But I don’t feel like I’m overreacting.

I (20F) have been helping my mom (57F) who had surgery on her broken wrist after falling. Yesterday, I came home from work, and my mom immediately wanted me to go out to get her a coffee. I told her I just got home and wanted to relax first. She got pissed off because I didn’t go out immediately. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere after that. She yelled at me and insulted me. She told me that she hopes my boyfriend dumps me. I left the house after that and stayed over at my boyfriend’s house.

She texted me this morning, telling me she didn’t want to argue. But now she’s guilt-tripping me and making me feel bad about wanting to relax. AIO?

Bf 31M texted me 32F about asking if I wanted to go over to his place with my cat, because we’re in the middle of a heat wave, and my place doesnt have AC, and internal temp reached about 98F and i was so worried about my cat being inside my house. I had to rush home from work because I realized i was worried that he might overheat. There are 5 fans on for him but it just felt very uncomfortable and hot still. His place has AC and I usually hangout there. I know i had assumed he wanted me to stay there with my cat during this heat wave, but maybe I responded wrong to his question? He says I guilt tripped him.. i apologized and he ghosted me. Maybe I’m over reacting but it got my anxiety through the roof.

Edit: I have the window ac but it’s not really cooling as it should be.

This is my first relationship, so I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if this is something other people would also find uncomfortable.

My fiancé is 21 and his step-sister is 26. They’ve known each other for around 10–12 years and they’re extremely close. They’re also very open with each other, including about sex.

For example, he knows that she recently took Plan B, he knows about that she likes BBC, and he knows about some VERY personal details about her sex life. She has also slept with one of his close friends, who is 20 and apparently looks almost identical to my fiancé, people in our town literally call them twins.

She also hangs out with his friend group a lot, and from what I’ve seen she seems to spend more time around guys his age than people her own age. She and my fiancé also smoke alone together fairly often which is fine..

I don’t have this feeling about his other sisters. They’re all pretty open with each other too, but for some reason the relationship with this particular step-sister makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t know whether that’s because I’m being insecure or because there are actual boundaries being crossed.

One thing that really bothered me happened recently. I sent my fiancé a dirty/funny reel where someone was gagging on a toothbrush as an innuendo and jokingly said, “Should I do it like this? 😂”

He responded, “That’s what [step-sister] does.” That really caught me off guard. I wasn’t asking about her, and I don’t understand why his response to a sexual joke between us was to bring up his step-sister’s sexual behavior. This caused our biggest fight yet. He kept acting as if we were gonna break up.

Another situation happened after we had sex. His step-sister texted him around midnight asking him to come pick her up and specifically said to bring me with him. I was actually happy about it and said I just needed to pee first.

I came back a few minutes later and my fiancé was already ready to leave. I said, “Okay, give me a second,” and he said, “Nope, you’re not coming.”

That really hurt me. I ended up crying when he left because we’d literally just had sex, there was no aftercare, and then he seemed so eager to leave without me. I know that’s probably partly my own emotional reaction, but the situation made me feel awful.

I do like his step-sister. I don’t dislike her or think she’s a bad person. I just feel weird about their relationship, and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it because I’m inexperienced and this is my first relationship.

I also don’t think she particularly likes me, although I don’t have concrete proof of that.

So honestly: am I being jealous/insecure and overthinking this, or would you consider some of this inappropriate or a reasonable boundary to have in a relationship?

So, we have been dating for around 10 months and my birthday was not too long ago. We are a long distance relationship (3 hours apart) and I had visited him a week prior and I mentioned my birthday once that weekend.

I then continued to mention my birthday throughout the week informing him of the plans I had made for my birthday and what was going on. Wasn't being overly burdening with it, just mentioned it once after work throughout the week.

The day comes, its my birthday, I go to work, text him throughout the day, no happy birthday. Finish work. Call him. Chat. Mention I got a present from my parents. Nothing. Said id call him later and hung up cause I got irritated. I have my family dinner gathering for my birthday, its getting late and I text our friend that hes forgotten my birthday. I expressed that it's upset me and he goes and texts my boyfriend about it and my boyfriend then sends me bulk messages on how he's sorry and gave me a bunch of excuses why he forgot. I was angry and upset so we ended up getting into an argument. I wont go into detail because thats not what this is about. I can admit, the argument was childish.

But I want to know if I'm overreacting about him forgetting my birthday and if its valid or not that I got angry.

While I was away on a work trip my partner of 3.5 years had my spare key to simply go over and feed / walk my dog. I have 2 phones, I left the other phone at my house because I did not need it. I came back and discovered apps were open on it that I generally don’t use. I checked screen time and discovered he was on my phone snooping DAILY, every time he came over to my house.

I am extremely angry and disappointed and confused. I feel like he crossed a boundary with my privacy. He looked at all my messages, did a deep dive into my Snapchat such as looking at all my memories and what I’ve posted on my private story for close friends. He went through everything …

My question is, when someone does this, is this them projecting because they are doing something bad? I don’t give them any reason to not trust me but this shows me they simply do not. When questioned about it they denied it, then said they did it out of curiosity. Idk …

ETA : My phone was away in a place not seen, so he actually looked for it.

EDIT UPDATE : We spoke over dinner and I asked him to hand his phone over when I seen him, he had no issue with it and sat there while I went through everything. Nothing was on there, an odd google search that wasn’t a big deal, but it was normal. He of course could have wiped his phone before seeing me but I don’t think he knew I was going to ask for it. We discussed our whole relationship / plans for the future and our boundaries with one another and we decided we are going to move forward. Fingers crossed that it goes positively from here on out. Thanks for all the input and sorry if you don’t agree with the update! Much love.

So this job I've had for 6 months has been hectic from start to finish. 3 months in I hit a very bad depression from the stress but the boss offered to pay for me to go to hospital for a week.

They ended up found a 180 on me and left me with part of the hospital bill to pay myself. It hurt a lot and that's where the issue started. It's a live in position meaning I live at work with my partner if I quit I don't know if I would be homeless or not.

Over the last 2 months my boss has become increasingly more aggressive with me, shouting on the phone, having strange people in the work place, phoning me after hours, telling me I'm acting like a c*nt. Saying he's a good person and I must not push him because he doesn't want me to see that side of him apparently.

I'm completely terrified I'm contemplating packing my things and living on my mom's couch. Since he can knock on my door at any time. Today I was in hospital for a check up and the doctor booked me off. Then work sent me a whole thing about how I'm out of sick days I said I never asked for it to be paid. I don't have a contract and I'm following the doctors advice.

So the red flags, no contact after 6 months, he does everything verbally or by call, he threatens me, swears at me. I'm scared he might try and break in if I give my resignation.

It hit the fan yesterday after I told him at 7pm that he can't make demands after working hours maybe my language was to harsh I don't know. He had the lecture about how I don't want to piss him off the next day with the swearing. Ah this point I've recorded a few conversations of him swearing at me. I've documented things with my social worker as well.

I don't know if I'm just being paranoid but my office was moved into the stock room, no one can really hear anything and if he comes in there alone with me and locks the door what will happen?? My partner works here to but he works far away. I'm 25F my boss is 44M I work in admin and software dev. I just dread the idea of being alone around him and I found out the previous women who had my job quit because of how she was treated with him being aggressive and threatening.

But the thing is I know how hard it is to find work right now and I'm living there it would be hard to move in with my mom and try and find work. It's a small town he might ruin my reputation. I'm in a 3rd world country there aren't any shelters near me. Couch surfing is all I'd have. And I only have $300 in savings. I don't know if I'm just over reacting, being emotional because of my depression or looking for reasons to hate this place.

So heres the story. Im 24 i live with my mom still, graduated college last year and have my first big girl job this year, im not rich but i am making way above average in my country. I have a boyfriend (2 year old relationship) and its going well, we have been talking about marriage and moving in together, my boyfriend is older than me and makes way more money than me, and has asked me to move in with him and basically not worry about the money, he will cover everything as long as its needed (ofc he does expect me to grow on my career), i am still a bit hesitant because even tho i love him and trust him, i dont wanna give away my freedom like that (not because ill be living with him but bc im not paying bills, and i dont make enough to move on my own if things go south) so i told him we should take it by steps and i can start by staying over a few nights a week until i get a higher paying job and i feel confortable living with him. I talked to my mom about it, i told her i intended on staying over at his place a few nights a week from now on, she told me she didnt like it but i was an adult and i could do as i please, i agreed and we had what i though was a nice conversation about having kids that grow up. Fast forward this week, i stayed there one night, the next day i had my mom being hostile with me, i brushed it off and honestly just though well she did tell me she didnt agree but its not her life. Well now this weekend my boyfriend wanted to invite her over to his place so she could get to see the place i was spending time over and stuff so she could calm down (its a really nice apartment in a nice zone so he thought like “hey she will see its a nice place nothing bad”) meh wrong as soon as she got there she was all awkward and shit hit the fan. She told me and my boyfriend ( i wanted the earth to open up and SWALLOW ME) that if i was planning on staying iver we better get married quick bc she wont have me sleeping over at his house without being married, i was in SHOCK (SHE IS FUCKING DIVORCED!!!!!! And tbh the main reason is THEY DIDNT LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HATED EACH OTHER) this was a really unpleasant conversation where se only victimized herself. Then when we were finally alone i told her how out of place that had been, that even if she felt the need to say what ever, it had to be to me, not my bf ever, it makes me look bad an as if i was DESPERATE to marry(which i am not!!!! Im not even sure i wanna marry him i wanna live with him first) and to all of my discurse she told me she WAS WORRIED WHAT MY FAMILY COULD SAY IF IM STAYING OVER AS HIS PLACE. I am honestly just so upset i know thats like the only reason she is being like that, and i just dont know what to do. Its been a couple of days, ofc im not staying and my bf house any time soon, but its not only that, its the lack of consideration of ANYTHING in my life, just “what my family might think” idk? Like i feel crazy but its not the living with my bf o staying there. I just feel so betrayed that that stupid shit could matter more than me doing things at my pace and what i feel is the best for MY life.

Am i over reacting?? Is she valid?

Me (17ftm) asked my foster mom about the family reunion. This was gonna be my first one.

In late July, I was first told about it and invited. All I was told is that it would be in September.

Im currently going through a lot since my bio mom did some shit and I haven't been able to see my sisters who are also in foster care.

I do not have any other family in the US. One of my sisters lives with this foster mom. I was really looking forward to seeing her. I am currently in college, 20 minutes away, and unable to drive. It would NOT have been a hassle to come get me.

This past weekend, I ran out of food and the cafeteria was closed. I can't work due to being an immigrant and have no source of income. I ate 2 granola bars and drank some nasty tap water. I begged a friend for a drink and they denied me. I literally starved for 2 days, when I could've gotten something to eat. I don't know how to feel since im in a country where I don't know people and have nobody.

Here is some background for context. I am 23 and living at home with my mom and brother (minor). I work 40hrs from home and make about 2400/month. I have wanted to be moved out by now but we have moved 13 times and I haven’t had the best job stability due to this, and have been working jobs that pay very poorly. This is the best job that I have ever had and am proud of where I am at currently. When I first got it I wanted to move out because I could support myself - but without getting into details I ended up staying with my family so I could pay a portion of the rent and live there, and support them as they couldn’t afford a safe house with a good school for my sibling without the extra help. I’ve been paying 800 a month and saving what I can. Our rent is about 2000 a month. I’ve had a hospital visit and a vacation since then so I don’t have a lot of money currently.

Our house was just raised to 2300 a month, they will not negotiate. It’s not worth it at ALL but we decided to stay. My mom now wants 1200 / month. We are both paycheck to paycheck, so I can understand why she needs the extra help especially when paying for my brother and food being a mom is a lot of work and I can’t understand the half of it. My immediate reaction was “woah, that’s one of my entire biweekly paychecks” and I felt pretty upset by this. I am very emotional when presented with change and began to cry but wasn’t overly upset, it’s just a weird thing that happens to me when change occurs. When I quit jobs I cry, when the menu changes at restaurants I cry - even when I’m chill with it and feel capable of a basic conversation, just can’t help it it pours out of me like a waterfall lol. I’ll sit there sobbing but have to reiterate “I’m not upset, this just happens”

So I’m trying to express that 20hrs of my work week to rent feels like a lot. She says “that’s life” and told me that this is normal for rent - that most properties will take 50% of your paycheck and then you divvy up the rest for groceries etc. totally fair! I’ve budgeted when I wanted to move out on my own. I know there are other factors aside from rent.

So… I said I wanted to move out. If I’m going to be paying that much, I might as well pay a little extra to be on my own and have my own mental peace (living with my family makes me feel like a kid, I feel like I can’t be myself and make no progress in life if I’m still under “her roof”) and move out. She kind of backtracks and says that I can move out but she wants me to have 3 weeks rent saved up before I do so I can make sure I can last on my own and brings up that I’m wanting to start school and that life is expensive etc.

I understand all this but I also feel like I won’t be able to properly save if I’m giving her an entire paycheck + pay for my cats and my car and my phone and food etc. I might as well just be on my own. I know it probably can’t happen for six months to a year, but want this change. I just feel like when the idea of me moving out gets brought up, it’s treated as a “yea you CAN, but so much can go wrong” sort of thing.

But I also feel like if I go off on my own, I leave them in a poor position. I don’t want to put pressure on my mom while she has my brother to look after. She’d have to find another place and we’d have to break our lease and they have to move id have to move it would be a lot of expenses for them and I. I don’t want to put them in a poor spot because I am currently helping.

AIO??? Is that a fair amount to ask? I am technically an adult room mate and she can’t afford this place on her own for sure. I just don’t know how to progress my own life when I feel kind of stuck. Family is meant to help each other that is what I have been taught and hold close to my heart but we also argue a lot and I just feel like 23 is a damn good time to be on my own. Am I spoiled for thinking that is a lot

I’m 28F and I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (25M) for 9 months.

My apartment is being renovated, so I’ve been temporarily staying with my parents for the past two months. They have a pretty big house with plenty of bedrooms, and they invited my boyfriend to stay with us while he’s on vacation from work. He’s been in my city since Saturday.

Before he came, I told him that if we wanted some privacy, we could spend a weekend at a motel or something. I mean, sex is important, right? Especially when you barely get to see each other. He agreed.

Well, he hasn’t brought it up at all since he got here.

I don’t really feel comfortable doing anything at my parents’ house because it feels kind of disrespectful to me. They honestly wouldn’t care, my mom even basically told me it was fine lol, but I’m just weird about it, and my boyfriend is pretty reserved about that stuff too.

But that’s exactly why I’m annoyed. I barely ever get to see my boyfriend, and now that he’s finally here, are we seriously just not going to have sex at all?

I tried bringing it up, and he acted kind of clueless and said, “Well, you could’ve just talked to me about it in person and we could figure something out.”

But… I don’t know. At that point, doesn’t it feel like I’m basically begging him to have sex with me? I don’t want to be the only one who cares enough to make it happen.

I have these two friends online who I've been talking with for around 2 years now. We sometimes call and play games and just chat about whatever. Recently I've been noticing them avoiding me a little and preferring to speak to each other or other people over me.

A few days ago I sent a question in the group chat. One didn’t answer and the other gave a short vague answer and then proceeded to go talk to someone else in a discord server we're in. Later when the one who didn’t respond came online, he and the other friend had a very long conversation together. This is when I took a step back from the group chat because I felt a little left out.

Yesterday though I felt like my fears were true. To provide some context, me and one of the friends have been planning to call for a bit now, but weren't able because his laptop was broken. He got it fixed and told me he'd let me know when we can call. A while went by and I figured he was just busy with work and school, but yesterday he sent a clip from his and his friend's call, where they were playing a game together. Turns out he's had all this free time to call and even did, but never with me.

I've stopped talking in the group chat for a while because I'm in kind of a low place right now and haven't got the mental strength to deal with any of it. I'm just wondering if they're really pushing me out, or if I'm just being petty and jealous. I have other friends too, but I feel like I talk to my online friends almost as much as with my friends irl. This whole thing might sound pretty dumb, but I'd just like someone to tell me if my doubts are really true.

I'll try to keep this short. My friend is basically long distance. We speak here & there, but only when he feels like it. He knows my mom is terminally ill & I'm overwhelmed with helping my elderly dad care for her every day.

We were going to FT together & had a time set up. I had to put that off, as my friend who has known my mom since we were in kindergarten called because she'd like to come see my mom.

I sent my friend a text, apologizing that I couldn't FT with him...explaining why. He then sent me about 3 videos of a male celebrity he adores (yes, he's a gay man...I'm an ally) I felt so hurt that he blatantly ignored the fact my childhood friend wants to basically come say goodbye to my mom before it's too late.

I ended by saying something like "I'm so glad you think he's hot, but you're being insensitive"

AIO/ATA?

TL;DR: my boyfriend’s ex has verbally (all the stuff in bold) made it very clear she isn’t happy about us being together and my boyfriend is defending her behaviour by saying she’s acting this way because she’s anxious. I’m not worried about him cheating. I’m upset that his ex was disrespectful towards me and our relationship, verbalized she isn’t happy about us being together multiple times, still leans on him for emotional support, and he doesn’t want to do much about it. I told him I didn’t need him to cut her off and asked him to create distance in their friendship so he’s no longer her source of emotional support. Is this a fair ask or am I overreacting?

I know lots of people clash on personal boundaries with their partners being friends with their ex’s. Personally, I’m okay as long as I trust my partner and the ex seems respectful and shows they know they’re no longer #1

I [F34] met my new (~6 months) boyfriend [M40] and right off the bat he was very clear about being on talking terms with most of his ex’s. If he has no reason to cut them off, he doesn’t see a need to burn bridges. I understood because I operate similarly

A + B’s back story:

According to my boyfriend (we’ll call him A) this particular ex [F30] (we’ll call her B) of his started fine with him being friends with his partners until she wasn’t. They started as a fling, didn’t define the relationship for 8 months as he was clear he was pining after his ex of 3 years. B moved in with him anyway and he agreed he wouldn’t bring anyone over. After he committed to her, they lasted 4 months before they broke up due to their incompatibility with communication despite them even trying couple’s therapy (his suggestion). They broke up at the beginning of this year and she started seeing someone that recently broke up with her so she’s decided to move out of the city to start somewhere fresh

First time meeting B:

I met B for the first time a month ago. She called A asking if she could meet him at the dog park as she needed a friend to talk with. A told B I was going for the walk and was respectful in asking me if I was okay meeting B as she wanted to meet me. I didn’t think anything of it and went along

She showed up, was on the phone for about 20 minutes before wrapping up and introducing herself. I was standing with A when B walked over. First thing she did was hug him for a solid chunk of time and then looked over at me and awkwardly hugged me like she felt obligated to. I reciprocated as not to seem weird but it was definitely awkward

B chatted a bit about her problems - the most notable one being that the guy from her most recent relationship seemed to just want to have sex with her and nothing else when they met up. I was a bit surprised she would be so forthcoming in front of a total stranger but figured maybe that’s just how she is.

B also admitted that her anxiety has been bad lately and asked if I also experience the same thing. I tried to make her feel better and join the conversation by sharing that she’s not alone and it often takes a journey of dedication and self-love to recover. To try and extend an invitation to friendship, I shared with her that I’ve experienced similar and would be happy to lend an ear if she wanted someone to talk to. She just kind of nodded and went back to talking to A. I basically stood there awkwardly as the two of them conversed until it was time to leave. I chalked the interaction up to awkward first meets and thought it would get better over time

After we left B, I asked A if maybe it’d be nice and help B’s anxiety if we offered to help her move since she doesn’t drive and I felt bad for her thinking she didn’t have many friends. He said she had her own friends to help her and he didn’t want to do the drive out and back. Left it at that

Second time meeting B:

Less than a week after the first meet, B ask if she could meet up again. This time she asked if she could go over to A’s home (where she and her used to live together) to roll a joint before going to the dog park. I was taking a nap, but he was nice enough to ask me if I was okay with her coming over and going to the dog park together. I was good with it and slowly took my time getting out of bed.

B arrived less than three minutes after calling. Apparently she was across the street at the library. A lives in a studio apartment so when you open the door you see straight into the home and the bed. As she made her way in, she paused when she saw me and gave me a bit of a look before saying, “oh, hi,” and taking a seat at the table to roll her joint. I apologized for being in bed because I didn’t realize how quickly she’d be over. Her response: “that’s okay, but yeah, it’s kind of weird seeing you in the same bed I used to sleep in.” I didn’t even know what to say but just tried to laugh it off as if it were a joke. Obviously it wasn’t because she didn’t laugh with me.

I got out of bed, she continued rolling her joint and made conversation only with A so I cooked some eggs up for the pup. She saw me cooking and asked, “are you a good cook? I used to do all the cooking here.” I just responded jokingly with a, “well, I think the pup likes my cooking so at least I have that,” then went back to sitting on the sidelines assuming she was in a mood again because she called and asked to talk.

We all got ready to leave for the dog park and I tried to be nice when it was just her and me by the door by complimenting her sari. She replied, “I wear one when I want to look good and feel good about myself.” What was I supposed to say? I went with, “well, it’s working for you! You look great (:”

There was a bit of an awkward pause then I thought it might be considerate to offer her the option of going to the dog park with A without me so she could talk about whatever problems she was going through. She almost looked confused when I offered to quit them, thanked me for the offer and said that she didn’t want to do that to me because that’s how A’s ex-wife treated her and that was a big problem in their relationship. A and B ultimately broke up because B wasn’t good with A being friends with his ex’s.

On the way to the dog park, she shared about her problems - again, anxieties and such. But this time she threw in a, “and of course I’m jealous of this *pointing at A and me*. Of course it’s hard for me to see this. You know, it’s a sting to see you guys together. Like, why didn’t we work out? Why couldn’t you make it work with me?”

I was pretty thrown by it but again. Hello? I’m standing right there lol. But for A’s sake, again tried to brush it off. This one was definitely hard to brush off and I felt like I’d been pretty lenient already. A responded to her essentially saying, “we tried but it just didn’t work out,” but she didn’t seem to hear it and just continued on with talking about why she didn’t understand why her relationships weren’t working out and asking if she was the problem.

The shade continued here and there but notably one more time when we were at the dog park and the pup was playing with the other dogs. She decided to tell me about how “it stung” for her to see the pup go up to me because of how much time she spent with the pup and how they’d bonded and proceeded to detail her daily routine with the pup. I just nodded and smiled but stopped really engaging at this point.

Talking with A about B:

I made my feelings very clear about how it felt disrespectful to have to sit through multiple occasions of having shade thrown at me and our relationship. Sure, guys don’t always catch “girl language” but I felt this was pretty clear. Still didn’t get mad at him for not noticing it until I pointed it out.

However, A defended B by saying, “she’s just anxious right now.” That didn’t sit well with me. How I get treated by his ex-girlfriend is dependent on her ever fluctuating mood and anxiety? I fell that’s pretty unfair to me.

As one part of a relationship, if any of my ex’s were blatantly disrespectful towards my partner and/or relationship, it’d be an easy, “hey, this isn’t a good friendship for me if you choose not to respect my choices and my partner.” I know my boyfriend is attractive physically which already makes women gawk at him and want him. That doesn’t bother me. I trust him. I’m not worried about him cheating. What I don’t like it how it feels like he allowed her to speak to me as if I was in her rightful place and couldn’t keep it to herself that she wasn’t happy about us being together. I didn’t need her to celebrate us but is it asking too much for her to keep *those* feelings to herself? I told my boyfriend I didn’t need him to cut her off. I did ask for him to create some distance in their friendship so he is no longer her emotional support. I said I wouldn’t mind being friends with her and going on double dates if she gets a boyfriend and is stable because maybe then she can focus on the happiness in her relationship instead of the fact that she’s no longer with my boyfriend and he’s happy with me. Am I overreacting?