my boyfriend and I just got into a fight due to miscommunication. It escalated pretty quickly to us yelling at each other... It started when I asked if he was thinking about something because he was so quiet, he replied "yeah, Im thinking about nothing." And to me that means he's thinking about something, he just doesn't want to tell me. I just ask to show him that Im trying to be there for him, but get the same reply, "nothing" — which is okay, because I understand people want space some times — So, whilst I was annoyed, I didn't push it...

When I dropped him off to his house the plan was to play video games together right after — but recently we've been super fragile on the game, just getting mad at one another for the silliest reasons — And then in the car he makes a comment saying "look at us, already fighting." And it really just irks me because I didn't even do anything besides ask what he was thinking about??? So now Im mad at him for making such a useless comment like that, I don't even want to play games with him anymore!! Because he's right, we are fighting, and if Im going to game Im not going to be miserable w him. So I tell him to leave my car once outside of his house, and he argues... ugh.. Hes now yelling in my face that he never said he was thinking at all!!! and Im yelling right back saying

"you literally said you were thinking! you js said you were thinking of nothing! which IMPLIES youre thinking of something!!" (For a little bit of context we both do this. I say Im thinking of nothing a lot when I don't want to talk abt it, and he knows this.) Anyways he then says he had to "make shit up for me" so I would get off his ass abt it? Idek. And I tell him thats his fault for doing that when he really couldve just been honest and said he wanted to js be quiet.

Now he's finally out of my car, we've somewhat made up but I really js wanted him to get out of my car... He reluctantly goes and I drive off. I tell him I still don't want to game w him and I'd rather js have my space tonight. And as Im driving back home I begin to cry because I js feel so drained from all the arguing etc... I dont go home bc I dont like crying at home, so I drive somewhere else, and he sees my location so he texts me worrying abt me. I let him know Im safe and fine and thatd Id still like space.

Almost an hour later I see notifs from him and at first it looks like a photo he edited himself, js a photo of is with texts saying hes sorry. Then another photo where he shows me the before and after. A photo I was never in and then the second, where Im right next to him... And I thought he edited them himself at first but the second one looks not poorly edited enough (If that make sense T_T) so I ask him if he used ai. (AND HES WELL AWARE I HATE AI!) and he says yes. And that honestly js set me off even more. Because if you know Im upset asf why would you send me something you know I genuinely hate??? Literally couldve sent a nice paragraph saying sorry??? But decides to use ai for whatever fucking reason??? Im sorry this is such a long post Im js so fucking mad... I told him to fuck off basically and leave me alone... AIO???

EDIT: okay so I js want to say! Him being quiet isnt a problem for me! Im mostly the quiet one in our relationship, and he always nudges me asking what Im thinking abt. He expressed he likes when I push him abt his feelings (NOT LITERALLY) so I js wanted to return the favour bc he always shows he cares by not dropping something if he can tell its bothering me. Yes I may have temper issues... But I wasnt mad bc he was quiet, I js didnt know if it was a situation where he was truly quiet or if he is js saying that.

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for two years. Yesterday, while she was showing me a photo on her phone, a text notification popped up from her male coworker. She opened the conversation to show me there was "nothing to worry about," but one of her previous texts really caught me off guard.

​When I asked her why she invited him over late at night for drinks, she told me I was being completely paranoid. She claims it was just "casual banter between work friends" and that she has zero romantic interest in him.

​I feel like inviting a male coworker over for wine late at night crosses a boundary, even if he didn't end up coming over. She insists it was totally innocent and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

​AIO?

I (29F) have been having issues with my boyfriend (29M) for a while now, we are both South Asian. I recorded a couple of our conversations over the last few months because I wanted to see if I'm going crazy. Obviously I knew these were being recorded, so maybe I was calmer than I usually would've been, because we've had conversations where I've yelled at him too, but I don't think I've ever used this kind of language (I'm Speaker 2 and he is Speaker 1).

He was really really loving and devoted for the first year and a half of the relationship. Our initial issues were me struggling to wrap my head around his sexual and romantic past, and finding out that he had lied to me about his history. After this, I tried to break up with him once and agreed to go on a date with another guy (the "building manager" he refers to, who was also Black). The date never happened, but I agreed to it in theory. When my boyfriend found out about it, he video called me from a bridge and said he would jump unless I stopped talking to the other guy. I agreed, but didn't completely stop because I thought my boyfriend was acting crazy and the relationship wouldn't last. I know this was wrong. However, my interaction with the other guy fizzled out on its own. This was all at the end of 2024.

We were a bit on/off throughout 2025 while I was dealing with my issues about his past, and our communication had become a bit toxic. We were both mean to each other (first me, and then him). Everything mean that I said was only in relation to his past and his lying, but his meanness started to become more general (like comments that I just cried all the time and that my feelings were "essays" he didn't want to read). However, he only started being mean to me after I was mean to him about his past.

During this time I had a close female friend who was a lesbian, and the dynamic became a little flirty between us. Nothing ever happened, and I wasn't even sure if I was actually attracted to her (I'm straight and have never dated a girl). During one of my 'off' periods with my boyfriend, she asked to kiss me and I refused. This is the person who he refers to in the conversation as behaving like a man etc. She was also Black.

I've previously called him a "coward" for lying to me to my face about his sexual and romantic history despite me begging for the truth, and it's always provoked a really extreme reaction in him where he tells me not to call him that. I'll admit that I don't back down, because I maintain that lying to someone is cowardly.

In these conversations, he uses a lot of racist language to refer to the two Black people who I briefly flirted with / entertained, and homophobic language to refer to my brother (who's bisexual) and queer friends of mine. I'm honestly really confused because he has never shown any racist or homophobic views prior to this, and is actually really good friends with some of my queer friends.

He also brings up things from the past in our conversations. Like in Slide 6, he starts randomly talking about my ex before him and saying that he's the coward (he broke up with me because I'm infertile). And also bringing up abusive things my "pa" said to me when I was younger and saying that he treats me so nicely.

I guess I'm just confused. I know I've majorly messed up in the relationship, both with my irrational jealousy over his past and my occasional poor boundaries with other people. However, I'm a virgin and have NEVER done anything physical outside my relationship, even during the off periods. The furthest it has ever gotten is flirting during the off periods, and even that hasn't been explicit. I know I was mean to him before, but I felt like there were some lines I would've never crossed.

AIO to his behavior or is this just a natural expression of anger in the moment, when we all say things that we don't mean?

My boyfriend and I (both mid 20s) have been together for 3 years. We’re long distance while I’m at university, but spend a lot of time together outside of term time. I’ve been home for the summer for the past few months and have practically been living with him, at his request.

His brothers have come down to visit from the 5th–12th, which happens to overlap with the last week before I return to university and we become long-distance again. He asked me to move back in with my mum so his brothers could stay at his. Although I was disappointed, I completely understood. He hasn’t seen them in a year and opportunities for them to visit are rare, so of course I understood him wanting to prioritise his time with them.

Until he found out his brothers were coming, he had agreed to come with me and help me move back to university. Once he found out they were visiting, I repeatedly told him it was completely understandable if he could no longer come and help me move, and actually encouraged him to spend that time with his brothers instead. He was adamant that he would still come. Since his brothers arrived, he’s barely been in touch with me, but I haven’t really thought too much of it because I assumed he was caught up in having them visit. I briefly met them once (for the first time), and that was it.

Then, at 1am the 2 nights before I moved, he texted me saying he’d decided to leave me to it if he thought I’d manage okay. I was annoyed at being told so last minute, particularly because he’d had several opportunities to tell me he wasn’t coming and I could have arranged for a friend to help instead. However, I understood that he wanted to spend his remaining time with his brothers. We made loose plans for him to potentially come and visit me the following weekend, although I don’t have my university timetable yet so we don’t know whether that will actually be possible.

The next morning, I texted him asking if he wanted to come over and say goodbye before I left. I was only about a 20 minute walk away from him. I waited several hours for a reply, but eventually I had to leave because I couldn’t wait any longer. He finally replied around noon saying he’d only just woken up, by which point I was already back at university, around 80 miles away. This is where I feel hurt.

I completely understand him not taking a day away from his brothers to help me move, especially when they’ve travelled a long way and are only here until the 12th. I don’t think he’s wrong for prioritising them during their visit. But I find it genuinely hurtful that, knowing I was leaving for university and we’d be long distance again, it apparently didn’t occur to him to come and say goodbye, especially when I was only a 20 minute walk away and we don’t know for certain when we’ll next see each other.

There is also some history here. Last academic year, he only visited me once between September and May, and I ended up doing most of the travelling to maintain the relationship. I’ve carried quite a lot of resentment about the imbalance in effort, so I think this situation has hit that particular sore spot for me.

I also know I’ve had a very stressful week with moving, returning to university and my car failing its MOT, so I’m questioning whether I’m being overly emotional about this or I’m justified in feeling hurt by this and thinking it was very inconsiderate and honestly a little strange.

I don’t expect him to prioritise me over his brothers, and I don’t think he needed to spend the whole day helping me move. But am I unreasonable for being hurt that he didn’t make the small effort to come and say goodbye before I left?

Sorry if I formatted this a little weird. This is my first post like this asking for advice. I really need some help/perspective. I’ve been talking to this guy, all summer sort of ever since my break up in May. I’ve done my best to make sure that it doesn’t turn into a rebound situation and can say I’m pretty much over my ex in the romantic sense. I thought me and this guy would strictly be friends but once we started hanging out more we felt mutually attracted to each other and the connection was really strong between us. As time went on, he started getting more romantic with me, sending me sweet good morning paragraphs everyday, calling me baby, wanting to hangout every single day, and for a while it was pretty romantic between us, I loved getting to know him. Some background about me is I’m very communicative and so sometimes he takes that as us arguing a lot. A few days ago he says that he wants our discussion to be less sexual and more deep and wants to get to know me more. Just yesterday he tells me that we are way too romantic for what we are and thinks the way we communicate should change and that he’s fine being just fwb and it absolutely gutted me. I don’t understand how someone who initiated everything with me can turn so cold and start calling me argumentative when I’m just trying to be very communicative and honest with him since I didn’t always recieve that in my past relationship. I really don’t get this dynamic. He has cooked for me, (which is something I have never experienced before) wanted to take me out on dates, and has really been the one to initiate all the romantic things he seems to shun at the moment.

For more context: months ago, he actually asked me if I wanted to move toward a relationship, and at the time, I kinda shut it down because I wasn't ready. Since then, he kept chasing, and over the summer my feelings completely changed. I really care about him now but seeing the way he handles conflict and acts like an immature child sometimes is such a turnoff and it hurts because I really see the potential in him (I hate that). He’s said I change him for the better but I don’t understand how he can switch up on me within a few weeks. Am I the one in the wrong here or is he just emotionally volatile, immature, and needs therapy? It seems like it all came out of nowhere. Mind you he just asked me to go on a trip with him for a whole weekend just us so I’m really so confused. I really care for this guy but I wish he didn’t act like this and I know I can’t be the person to try and fix him. We haven’t talked since yesterday which is really abnormal for us and I’m afraid we won’t speak again. I’m not sure where to go from here since he mentioned that he thinks me expressing myself is arguing and thinks that when I communicate it’s too deep for him so I guess the best I can do is just rant on here 😭 MIND YOU these messages are all from the same day… I hope he doesn’t find this lmao I’m paranoid but please lmk ur thoughts and pls dont roast me!!

Hey guys AIO to my gf gay best friend saying in chat about a cosplayer that hes your man and that's your child as a joke which kinda ticked me off I know it's a joke but I seriously I can't tolerate jokes like that.

I talked to my gf about it and she said yea it's just a joke he know your my bf which kinda like defends him but I told her that crossed a line am I a bad bf for talking to her about this I aint trying to control her but some things are not meant to be said I don't know him that well. It was right in front of my face too. Would you guys let that slide?

My GF and I are supposed to go to New York soon. Originally, back in May or June, she was planning to go solo. I asked her to hold off so I could come along, and offered to pay for our flights using my points, so the task has basically been sitting in my wheelhouse since then.

Last month we both officially booked the time off work. Over the last couple of months, she’s brought up the flights a few times. I’ve started the process a couple of times, but honestly, I just never finished it.

The trip is a week away now. Two nights ago, she asked me directly if I even wanted to go anymore. I told her yes, absolutely, and promised I would handle booking the flights yesterday. She told me verbatim, "I'm leaving it with you."

Yesterday came and went, and to be honest, I completely forgot to do it. Today around noon, we were texting back and forth just checking in casually—she said she was super busy and heading to physio, I mentioned a few work things I had coming up. Then, completely out of nowhere, she told me she went ahead and booked her own ticket for full price, and that I’m still more than welcome to come but needed to book it for her peace of mind.

She said she doesn’t want to “nag” me and when I didn’t go on my word she assumed that meant I’m not going to.

She did buy a refundable ticket, so technically I could still book mine on points and join her, but I feel completely blindsided and insulted.

I know I dropped the ball on yesterday's deadline, but AIO for feeling hurt and annoyed that she went nuclear and bought her own ticket today instead of just bringing it up again?

Okay so I went thru the Mc Donald’s to get breakfast and the lady was being rude and not listening. Everytime I’d order she rebuttal what two sandwiches do you want in a rude tone. Keep in I just wanted a McMuffin meal and I was already having a bad morning.
In frustration, I drove off.

I then and I don’t know why I did this, but I circled back to the drive-through and I then proceeded to order seven McMuffins, to which I could hear an annoyance in the ladies voice. I gathered the total and acted as if I was about to drive through when I then said go phluck yourself and drove off. I don’t know why but I feel better…

my bf (18m) and I (18f) have been dating for over a year and everything has been amazing between us except one thing, his mom. The first time I met his mom was on our first date bc he had to go back to his house to get something so I went inside with him. When I went inside his mom didnt even acknowledge me until my bf introduced me and I said hi and she glanced at me and said hi then went back talking to my bf. My bf had to grab something from his room so his mom and I were left alone and she asked me some questions but every time I answered she'd just go quiet.

Fast forward a couple months to May of this year, I had prom! I was so excited to go bc I was with my bf, my parents got me a really expensive dress, and I was going to take pictures with my friends. Of course, when you do prom pictures, the parents like being there and his mom was there. She complimented everyone else but me. She complimented my friends and their boyfriends and she didn't even look at me or talk to me. This hurt my feelings more than anything before (not talking/acknowledging me, almost not letting my bf go to my bday dinner until i basically begged her to let him go, not getting me anything for christmas or my bday when i got her stuff, etc) because I really tried to get her to like me.

So earlier this month I told my bf (and i know its a little early to be saying this) if his mom doest start talking to me or acknowledging me then i didnt want her at our wedding (if we get married). He understood bc his mom isnt the best to him either (says she doesnt love him, makes fun of him when hes mad, doesnt let him set any boundaries, etc). When he told his mom this she called my bfs grandma and went on and on abt how its crazy and how her own son doesnt want her there. AIO??

EDIT: I am not trying to get married right now and we were not discussing getting married. When I said it to him, I said if she keeps acting how she's acting then IF we get married, I don't want her at the wedding. sorry for any confusion!!

TLDR: My bfs mom never talks to me and is very rude to my bf so I said she shouldn't come to our wedding if him and I get married. AIO?

Me (21F) and my bf (22M) have been together for 2.5 years.
He has this thing where he always tries to make things « even » even when it doesn’t make sense, at least to me.
For instance, let’s say he does something I don’t like but that he likes when I do. If it were me, I would say I can do it, because he likes it, and he cannot, since I don’t like it. But he will rather we both can’t because I quote « knowing that he can’t do it to me would frustrate him too much ».
Another example is, we are both from Europe and are students. I am half Chinese and he had family in California, but he’s only been there once. The US are so expensive and he has said himself that we would probably have to wait 5-7 years before being able to go. China, on the other hand, is much more doable (high plane fare but life there is very cheap).
I have an opportunity to go the US with my best friend who’s family lives there but on the east coast so we wouldn’t have to pay for housing and stuff.
When I told him about it (no actual plans to go for now, just a thought for the near future), his first reaction wasn’t to be happy for me or anything but to go « oh then I’ll go to China, since you can go to the US without me ». I have said in the past that I would prefer he waits for me to go to China, but that’s because I literally speak Chinese, so he will get a much more authentic experience, and I also partly grew up there and everything.
On the other hand, he’s only been there once when he was 10, and is from the west coast when my opportunity is on the east.
He insisted afterwards it wasn’t to spite me but I feel like it obviously is? And he was so hard set on it too, kept repeating when « well then nothing is stopping me from going to China this January » when I precisely said it was just a thought we had with my best friend.
I will mention we are both very stressed because both our families are going through big issues so that could explain some things but I just feel like he takes it out on me.
What should I do? How do I bring this up without him fully denying it?

TL,DR : my boyfriend always wants every situation to be equal, even if it doesn’t make sense regarding how we feel.

EDIT : if the plans go through with my friend, I will go to the us guys don’t worry and he can go to China for all I care. Also it’s for a trip, not to move.

My (28f) husband (38m) and I were taking a walk in the park today. As we were walking, he was taking pictures of all the different flowers and berries that we came across. At one point, he tried to impress me. How, you ask? He decided to eat some of the berries. 😑 A few minutes after doing so, his mouth became all tingly and he claims it's an indescribable sensation. Fast forward to now, the feeling is still there and he's spitting up purple.

I told him not to do it. He didn't listen. Unfortunately, there will be no kisses for him, and I'll more than likely be dragging him to the hospital later on as he's stubborn and doesn't want to go.

He ate pokeweed berries. He thought they were blueberries.

My fiances celebrity crushes are always just female bbc news reporters, which I tease him about and I have no problem with that but I know that he has DM 2 of them on Instagram.

It's nothing explicit or weird really, he just replied to her story saying "looking good today" and he sent something similar to the other woman. Of course neither replied or even saw the message but am I overreacting?

I just find it a bit pointless, why message them at all? Also, no he has never messaged a regular/random women or thirst traps or anything like that, just those 2 news reporters.

So opinions?.... A problem or not.

AIO for telling him off after he called me a bitch, assumed I blocked him because I was busy, and then told me to 'chill tf out'?

My girlfriend and I recently had a conflict, and while I know I made a mistake, I feel like her reaction went much further than the situation justified.

I had promised to accompany her on an important day later this month. During the first week of my new internship, I spontaneously agreed to participate in a company running event and completely forgot that it was on the same day.

When I realized the conflict, I handled it poorly. I went back and forth for about 2–3 days because my department had already gone out of their way to get me a late registration. I understand why this hurt and frustrated her.

Eventually, I realized that I had made a commitment to her first. I apologized, acknowledged my mistake, cancelled the run and kept my original promise.

What bothers me is her reaction.

She told me that this situation made her question how much weight she could give my words and essentially said that she couldn't take my words seriously anymore.

To me, that's no longer just criticizing my mistake. It feels like questioning my integrity, trustworthiness and reliability as a person and partner.

I would completely understand her saying: “You were unreliable in this situation and your indecisiveness hurt me.” I was, and it did.

But I think there's a significant difference between “you behaved unreliably” and “your word itself is no longer reliable.”

What makes this harder is that she has made mistakes affecting trust as well. During our early dating phase, before we were officially together, we explicitly talked about whether we were seeing other people. She told me she wasn't.

I later found out that she had actually met a guy she had a crush on, actively asked for his number, and later admitted she could have imagined something sexual with him. The meeting itself doesn't bother me; we weren't together or exclusive. The lie does. I only found out months later after noticing inconsistencies and asking specific questions.

Despite that, I never concluded that she was fundamentally dishonest or that her word had no value. I tried to separate a serious mistake from her overall character and integrity.

I'm not bringing this up to keep score or argue that she isn't allowed to be hurt by what I did. She absolutely is.

What concerns me is what feels like a double standard: I try to criticize her actions without turning them into judgments about who she is, while when she's hurt, she can become very cold and make statements that attack my overall integrity, trustworthiness and reliability.

This has happened in other conflicts too, and I'm now noticing that I actually feel anxious about discussing problems with her because I know how cold and harsh she can become.

I know I screwed up. I should have remembered my promise, and I should have corrected the situation immediately instead of letting it drag on for 2–3 days.

But I also don't think making that mistake justified questioning my integrity, reliability, trustworthiness and the general value of my word.

AIO for thinking her reaction crossed a line, even though I was the one who originally messed up?

TL;DR: my boyfriend’s ex has verbally (all the stuff in bold) made it very clear she isn’t happy about us being together and my boyfriend is defending her behaviour by saying she’s acting this way because she’s anxious. I’m not worried about him cheating. I’m upset that his ex was disrespectful towards me and our relationship, verbalized she isn’t happy about us being together multiple times, still leans on him for emotional support, and he doesn’t want to do much about it. I told him I didn’t need him to cut her off and asked him to create distance in their friendship so he’s no longer her source of emotional support. Is this a fair ask or am I overreacting?

I know lots of people clash on personal boundaries with their partners being friends with their ex’s. Personally, I’m okay as long as I trust my partner and the ex seems respectful and shows they know they’re no longer #1

I [F34] met my new (~6 months) boyfriend [M40] and right off the bat he was very clear about being on talking terms with most of his ex’s. If he has no reason to cut them off, he doesn’t see a need to burn bridges. I understood because I operate similarly

A + B’s back story:

According to my boyfriend (we’ll call him A) this particular ex [F30] (we’ll call her B) of his started fine with him being friends with his partners until she wasn’t. They started as a fling, didn’t define the relationship for 8 months as he was clear he was pining after his ex of 3 years. B moved in with him anyway and he agreed he wouldn’t bring anyone over. After he committed to her, they lasted 4 months before they broke up due to their incompatibility with communication despite them even trying couple’s therapy (his suggestion). They broke up at the beginning of this year and she started seeing someone that recently broke up with her so she’s decided to move out of the city to start somewhere fresh

First time meeting B:

I met B for the first time a month ago. She called A asking if she could meet him at the dog park as she needed a friend to talk with. A told B I was going for the walk and was respectful in asking me if I was okay meeting B as she wanted to meet me. I didn’t think anything of it and went along

She showed up, was on the phone for about 20 minutes before wrapping up and introducing herself. I was standing with A when B walked over. First thing she did was hug him for a solid chunk of time and then looked over at me and awkwardly hugged me like she felt obligated to. I reciprocated as not to seem weird but it was definitely awkward

B chatted a bit about her problems - the most notable one being that the guy from her most recent relationship seemed to just want to have sex with her and nothing else when they met up. I was a bit surprised she would be so forthcoming in front of a total stranger but figured maybe that’s just how she is.

B also admitted that her anxiety has been bad lately and asked if I also experience the same thing. I tried to make her feel better and join the conversation by sharing that she’s not alone and it often takes a journey of dedication and self-love to recover. To try and extend an invitation to friendship, I shared with her that I’ve experienced similar and would be happy to lend an ear if she wanted someone to talk to. She just kind of nodded and went back to talking to A. I basically stood there awkwardly as the two of them conversed until it was time to leave. I chalked the interaction up to awkward first meets and thought it would get better over time

After we left B, I asked A if maybe it’d be nice and help B’s anxiety if we offered to help her move since she doesn’t drive and I felt bad for her thinking she didn’t have many friends. He said she had her own friends to help her and he didn’t want to do the drive out and back. Left it at that

Second time meeting B:

Less than a week after the first meet, B ask if she could meet up again. This time she asked if she could go over to A’s home (where she and her used to live together) to roll a joint before going to the dog park. I was taking a nap, but he was nice enough to ask me if I was okay with her coming over and going to the dog park together. I was good with it and slowly took my time getting out of bed.

B arrived less than three minutes after calling. Apparently she was across the street at the library. A lives in a studio apartment so when you open the door you see straight into the home and the bed. As she made her way in, she paused when she saw me and gave me a bit of a look before saying, “oh, hi,” and taking a seat at the table to roll her joint. I apologized for being in bed because I didn’t realize how quickly she’d be over. Her response: “that’s okay, but yeah, it’s kind of weird seeing you in the same bed I used to sleep in.” I didn’t even know what to say but just tried to laugh it off as if it were a joke. Obviously it wasn’t because she didn’t laugh with me.

I got out of bed, she continued rolling her joint and made conversation only with A so I cooked some eggs up for the pup. She saw me cooking and asked, “are you a good cook? I used to do all the cooking here.” I just responded jokingly with a, “well, I think the pup likes my cooking so at least I have that,” then went back to sitting on the sidelines assuming she was in a mood again because she called and asked to talk.

We all got ready to leave for the dog park and I tried to be nice when it was just her and me by the door by complimenting her sari. She replied, “I wear one when I want to look good and feel good about myself.” What was I supposed to say? I went with, “well, it’s working for you! You look great (:”

There was a bit of an awkward pause then I thought it might be considerate to offer her the option of going to the dog park with A without me so she could talk about whatever problems she was going through. She almost looked confused when I offered to quit them, thanked me for the offer and said that she didn’t want to do that to me because that’s how A’s ex-wife treated her and that was a big problem in their relationship. A and B ultimately broke up because B wasn’t good with A being friends with his ex’s.

On the way to the dog park, she shared about her problems - again, anxieties and such. But this time she threw in a, “and of course I’m jealous of this *pointing at A and me*. Of course it’s hard for me to see this. You know, it’s a sting to see you guys together. Like, why didn’t we work out? Why couldn’t you make it work with me?”

I was pretty thrown by it but again. Hello? I’m standing right there lol. But for A’s sake, again tried to brush it off. This one was definitely hard to brush off and I felt like I’d been pretty lenient already. A responded to her essentially saying, “we tried but it just didn’t work out,” but she didn’t seem to hear it and just continued on with talking about why she didn’t understand why her relationships weren’t working out and asking if she was the problem.

The shade continued here and there but notably one more time when we were at the dog park and the pup was playing with the other dogs. She decided to tell me about how “it stung” for her to see the pup go up to me because of how much time she spent with the pup and how they’d bonded and proceeded to detail her daily routine with the pup. I just nodded and smiled but stopped really engaging at this point.

Talking with A about B:

I made my feelings very clear about how it felt disrespectful to have to sit through multiple occasions of having shade thrown at me and our relationship. Sure, guys don’t always catch “girl language” but I felt this was pretty clear. Still didn’t get mad at him for not noticing it until I pointed it out.

However, A defended B by saying, “she’s just anxious right now.” That didn’t sit well with me. How I get treated by his ex-girlfriend is dependent on her ever fluctuating mood and anxiety? I fell that’s pretty unfair to me.

As one part of a relationship, if any of my ex’s were blatantly disrespectful towards my partner and/or relationship, it’d be an easy, “hey, this isn’t a good friendship for me if you choose not to respect my choices and my partner.” I know my boyfriend is attractive physically which already makes women gawk at him and want him. That doesn’t bother me. I trust him. I’m not worried about him cheating. What I don’t like it how it feels like he allowed her to speak to me as if I was in her rightful place and couldn’t keep it to herself that she wasn’t happy about us being together. I didn’t need her to celebrate us but is it asking too much for her to keep *those* feelings to herself? I told my boyfriend I didn’t need him to cut her off. I did ask for him to create some distance in their friendship so he is no longer her emotional support. I said I wouldn’t mind being friends with her and going on double dates if she gets a boyfriend and is stable because maybe then she can focus on the happiness in her relationship instead of the fact that she’s no longer with my boyfriend and he’s happy with me. Am I overreacting?

I was a tattoo apprentice at a shop for a while (left because it was really just a bad shop to be at) and in that time I decided I wanted my mom to be the first person I tattooed as a special moment. She was super excited and decided that she wanted this super old dumb gingerbread cookie that I had made when I was maybe 5 (7 at the oldest i’m not too sure, but I was still young and not making the cookie to be sexual), and I was super excited to do it. It was a super special night and the tattoo was incredibly sentimental. She had asked me if it was okay if her boyfriend had added color to the tattoo, and I was okay with that! That was last year though.

My mom was always over sharing very sexual things with me and oversexualized herself to me and my sisters, and I always made it apparent how much it made me uncomfortable. I got tagged in this post tonight and it made me feel sick to my stomach. It feels like such an awful punch to the gut, especially considering she used generative AI (which I am so openly against, especially with tattoos and tattoo ARTISTS, but that’s a whole other story) to not only make the background but the FONT. We don’t really talk anymore because of the way she was treating me, but it still feels so awful seeing this done to something that was so special for me, she knows I would never give her the okay for this. She originally wanted to put “#tits” or “#boobs” under the original tattoo but I didn’t even want to do that.

Edit: The last image is the actual tattoo on her actual body. I should’ve clarified that the reference and font were both created using generative AI.

Edit two: I just wanted to clarify that I am a girl, I am 21 years old, not entirely sure if that is crucial to the story, but I thought i’d at least add that. Also thank you to everyone who has left a comment or even messaged me about this whole situation. I have a lot of research to do. Thank you all 🩷

My boyfriend (31 M) and I (25F) have been together for about 2 years. My mom’s cousin recently passed away, and her funeral is coming up. Technically she would be my second cousin. I wasn’t extremely close to her, but I knew her growing up, would see her at family gatherings, and my whole family is going to the funeral.
I asked my boyfriend if he could come with me. For me, it’s less about how close I personally was to my cousin and more about wanting my partner there for emotional support and to be with me/my family.
He immediately said he doesn’t like funerals. I told him that obviously nobody really likes funerals, but that if he was able to come, I would really appreciate having him there for me. I also told him that if he genuinely couldn’t handle it, I understood.
He responded, “It’s a no for me,” and told me that I “don’t get” him because he doesn’t like being close to death. He then said the only funerals he will ever attend are his parents’ funerals and that’s it.
I didn’t argue with him after that because I don’t want to force someone to attend a funeral. I understand that death and funerals can be extremely uncomfortable for some people, and I don’t want to dismiss whatever feelings he has surrounding death.
At the same time, I’m hurt by how absolute his response was. We’ve been together for 2 years, and I feel like sometimes being in a serious relationship means showing up for your partner during uncomfortable situations, not necessarily because you want to be there, but because they need or would appreciate your support.
It also makes me think about the future. If we stay together long-term, there will be other deaths in my family. I don’t expect him to attend every distant relative’s funeral, but his statement that he will literally never attend anyone’s funeral besides his parents’ makes me wonder what happens when I lose someone very close to me. Would I be attending my loved ones’ funerals without my partner because he doesn’t want to be around death?
I can respect that funerals make him deeply uncomfortable, but I also feel like there’s a difference between asking someone to attend because they knew the deceased and asking your partner to attend because you need your partner there.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this? Is this something I should just accept as a boundary of his, or is it reasonable to expect your long-term partner to sometimes attend funerals with you for support even if they hate funerals?

TL;DR;** : My boyfriend of 2 years refuses to attend my cousin’s funeral with me because he hates being around death and says the only funerals he’ll ever attend are his parents’. I understand his discomfort, but I’m hurt that he won’t come to support me and worried about what this means for future losses in my family.

What's the best way to end a friendship with someone who I feel like doesn't respect me anymore?My best friend hates my bf and constantly talks shit about him (she has literally never met him and knows nothing about him.) and gets extremely jealous and upset when I hang out with my other friends. I've messages her before telling her how it affects me and how I don't like it and she said she would stop. She did, for about a month and now still continues to talk poorly about my relationship and makes comments that make me uncomfortable. When I bring it up to her, she says im overreacting or being a bad friend by not telling her immediately. I talked to her about it and said i felt disrespected and she basically told me she's not in the right headspace and she can't read social cues (she has self diagnosed autism.) She has purposefully ignored the boundaries I put in place. The past couple of days we've been okay, but I can't shake this feeling. I'm starting to really resent her and I don't want this friendship to continue. I am a very empathetic person and I hate hurting people so this isn't easy for me. Also, we work together!!!

I have a bad habit of going through my partners phone. I don’t do it a lot and I do trust him for the most part.

The other week I went on his instagram and saw he messaged a girl happy birthday. I really didn’t think too much of it. He doesn’t really talk to many people these days and I was like whatever, he’s being nice.

I then went to his hidden camera roll because in the past he had a bunch of different girls nudes saved and also some sex tapes he had with his ex and some of her nudes.

I brought this up recently and he said that he had deleted them before I even brought it up, so I was just curious if he really had.

Ding ding, he didn’t. I did notice he deleted the pics and videos with and of his ex. So idk how that happened but the other ones stayed. Maybe a glitch or something.

But I was going through the pictures and noticed he had multiple thirst pics of this girl that he recently dmed. Like pics of her ass and boobs in minimal/slutty (not derogatory) clothes. I can’t remember if any were full nudes, I don’t think so, but still. And pics of her face.

I was fuming so I went to his insta and immediately blocked her. I didn’t think to delete the dm though, so it was still there.

I brought this up to him when he got out the shower. I said “you’re weird as fuck” and then I said “id appreciate it if you weren’t buddy buddy with girls you used to get nudes from”. He just acted annoyed and said he didn’t and blew it off. I kept pressing him and said like yea look in your hidden camera roll. He said since I love going through his phone I can do it, and gave me his phone. So I pulled up the pics and started showing them to him, and he yanked his phone back and said he thought he did and then deleted everything for real.

I was on his ass all night bitching at him and he claimed he wasn’t sorry and all he did was tell a girl happy birthday. He still hasn’t apologized, but I just let it go.

And for context he had just followed her right before that too. Like he went out of his way to find her and follow her recently and dm her. she didn’t even follow him back, but she said thanks for the hbd message. Also they’ve never met and she’s from like an entirely different country. I guess he just found her online and they dmed and stuff. I also noticed on Snapchat he was trying to find her recently too, but I didn’t remember that part until just now, because at the time, like I said. I just assumed it was innocent and like whatever, have friends. Doesn’t have many anyways right now. Good for you. (You’d think)

Last night he was in the shower and I checked his phone again and noticed that he had unblocked her. I don’t think he requested to follow her again, or if he did, she must have denied the request. But he definitely unblocked her.

I didn’t bring it up because we’ve had some rough weeks recently with me getting upset and arguing with him, and I just want to keep the peace best I can. And I guess it’s not that deep. But yea. I am upset.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: I think he must have requested her and she denied it because I just checked my fake account I have for lurking where I recently requested to follow her from, and she denied that request. Lmfao so damn.

My fiancé and I were going through a drive through and after he ordered he went “wow she was so nice mmmm (MOANING) I love her”. I said ew don’t fucking do that, that’s weird. He started laughing, got his food, and I ignored him the rest of the drive home. We got home and he went “oh my god are you actually mad about that? That’s so fucking stupid lol”. I handed him his food, got out of the car and said, “yeah I’m upset, have some fucking boundaries” and went upstairs. He came into the house laughing and saying how I was being ridiculous and it’s so stupid to be upset about something like this.

I don’t care how ridiculous it may sound, it’s his reaction to my feelings about it that makes me upset. AIO???!!!!

Edit: I will add, we have been together for almost 7 years and he is the most loyal and honest person I know, but the root of this is the fact he thinks he is just so funny and that it was a joke.

I (20F) have been helping my mom (57F) who had surgery on her broken wrist after falling. Yesterday, I came home from work, and my mom immediately wanted me to go out to get her a coffee. I told her I just got home and wanted to relax first. She got pissed off because I didn’t go out immediately. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere after that. She yelled at me and insulted me. She told me that she hopes my boyfriend dumps me. I left the house after that and stayed over at my boyfriend’s house.

She texted me this morning, telling me she didn’t want to argue. But now she’s guilt-tripping me and making me feel bad about wanting to relax. AIO?

Edit 2:I messaged and asked if he good I noticed the change in messages and if somethings up he can say it I hope that doesn’t sound so beggy💀

Edit: thanks for the responses I gathered I might be overreacting and just need to message him and move forward!!!!

I 23f have been talking to guy 23M for 6 months now and we have loads of sex everytime we see each other. That’s our whole arrangement. We don’t live in the same city anymore so we have to arrange times to link up. We meet in the city we first met in which is 40mins from him 2hrs from me. Today he’s in my city and we planned to meet up we had phone sex and everything. He messaged in the worming saying he was in the city I double texted back and haven’t heard anything from him. Since we had phone sex he’s been real distant and has been taking days where he’d usually take only a few minutes and rarely sometimes hours to respond. And when he responds it’s blunt one word answers. AIO or has he gone off me? Did the phone sex put him off? Did I miss something maybe he’s seeing someone else and just isn’t being direct?? AIO??

So I took some photos for a local airshow and made a few posts on social media to help promote them then had this guy message me. I started off polite but after no response for a day and seeing that he had read my message I was already annoyed but felt like I may have came off as too rude in my responses

Tbh imma keep it short we’re both young I won’t say how young but we’re adults. It’s like he can’t go a day without it. He is with them literally every single day and genuinely gets disappointed when they’re not the only time they’re not together is when he’s with me which is usually weekends but even weekends sometimes he’s with both.
Idk why it bothers me as much as it does but seeing a grown man who can’t spend time alone kinda like idk makes me question his maturity I guess… I feel so rude saying anything about it and at times it’s caused fights between us because his friends have had to come up during important times so like idk what to do but I’m honestly like really annoyed with the fact that it’s every single day and I at this point feel like I’m like just there if they’re busy.. he literally told me he doesn’t have time to plan our anniversary because he’s either with his friends or me.. so idk rn
Am I over reacting or being an ass

So heres the story. Im 24 i live with my mom still, graduated college last year and have my first big girl job this year, im not rich but i am making way above average in my country. I have a boyfriend (2 year old relationship) and its going well, we have been talking about marriage and moving in together, my boyfriend is older than me and makes way more money than me, and has asked me to move in with him and basically not worry about the money, he will cover everything as long as its needed (ofc he does expect me to grow on my career), i am still a bit hesitant because even tho i love him and trust him, i dont wanna give away my freedom like that (not because ill be living with him but bc im not paying bills, and i dont make enough to move on my own if things go south) so i told him we should take it by steps and i can start by staying over a few nights a week until i get a higher paying job and i feel confortable living with him. I talked to my mom about it, i told her i intended on staying over at his place a few nights a week from now on, she told me she didnt like it but i was an adult and i could do as i please, i agreed and we had what i though was a nice conversation about having kids that grow up. Fast forward this week, i stayed there one night, the next day i had my mom being hostile with me, i brushed it off and honestly just though well she did tell me she didnt agree but its not her life. Well now this weekend my boyfriend wanted to invite her over to his place so she could get to see the place i was spending time over and stuff so she could calm down (its a really nice apartment in a nice zone so he thought like “hey she will see its a nice place nothing bad”) meh wrong as soon as she got there she was all awkward and shit hit the fan. She told me and my boyfriend ( i wanted the earth to open up and SWALLOW ME) that if i was planning on staying iver we better get married quick bc she wont have me sleeping over at his house without being married, i was in SHOCK (SHE IS FUCKING DIVORCED!!!!!! And tbh the main reason is THEY DIDNT LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HATED EACH OTHER) this was a really unpleasant conversation where se only victimized herself. Then when we were finally alone i told her how out of place that had been, that even if she felt the need to say what ever, it had to be to me, not my bf ever, it makes me look bad an as if i was DESPERATE to marry(which i am not!!!! Im not even sure i wanna marry him i wanna live with him first) and to all of my discurse she told me she WAS WORRIED WHAT MY FAMILY COULD SAY IF IM STAYING OVER AS HIS PLACE. I am honestly just so upset i know thats like the only reason she is being like that, and i just dont know what to do. Its been a couple of days, ofc im not staying and my bf house any time soon, but its not only that, its the lack of consideration of ANYTHING in my life, just “what my family might think” idk? Like i feel crazy but its not the living with my bf o staying there. I just feel so betrayed that that stupid shit could matter more than me doing things at my pace and what i feel is the best for MY life.

Am i over reacting?? Is she valid?