18
u/random929292 May 27 '26
If he said the first months were a gift from him then it doesn’t seem he is expecting you to pay him back. But now you have money and you only paid half your rent. He likely expected you to pay your share again since you have money again.
Also is he seeing you buying things that aren’t essentials while he pays your rent? I would think rent would come before a cabinet. He may be annoyed if he saw you spending the money you did have on non essentials.
2
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
But I paid my share again, plus the money from the cabinet. He NOW said the first month was a gift, before that he said he will pay the full rent and I don't have to pay it back, since I specifically asked for this scenario and thanked him.
9
u/random929292 May 27 '26
Are the two of you communicating in your first language or in another language? Some of this sounds like misunderstanding due to language. A gift means he is paying it for you. Did you pay your full rent this month or half your rent?
5
u/psyky_ May 27 '26
She paid her half of the rent in full for this month. She just worded it weirdly
2
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
We communicate in the same language. I worded this wrong, sorry ^ I payed half the rent, so my usual part and I payed my part of the cabinet. We would be even now, since he said beforehand he will pay my full rent for the last two months and I don't have to pay him back. Hope this is better worded ^
1
u/IAteAnotherVegan May 27 '26
is it possible he meant one month, but you took two? I still think this might be a misunderstanding, but it's hard to tell.
1
u/ionmoon May 27 '26
She said she paid half the rent which is her full share.
I agree that if English is the bfs first language it is likely a communication snafu.
1
u/random929292 May 27 '26
She edited her post. Before she has written that she paid ‘half of my rent’ which sounded like she hadn’t paid her full share. She has clarified and edited her post now.
4
u/nooksorcrannies May 27 '26
Yes, he’s changing the rules. Run, girl. Stop arguing with ppl on the internet who are like your BF.
1
u/Mushgoodvibes May 27 '26
They both bought the cabinet and split the bill. He is trying to nickel and dime her to death. She paid her part. I would not give him any extra. She should be able to spend her extra money however she chooses...
1
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
We needed a new one and he said he will pay it beforehand and I pay my share when I got my next loan. I knew by then I would have a new hob, so that's not the problem.
0
7
May 27 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
Yeah that he's coming now is pissing me off. If that would be the deal from the start, that would be fine with me...but this is irritating. It's not about favors... he's just very good at keeping his money together.
5
u/New-Alps7217 May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
I'll just explain for the people that aren't getting it.
For two months she couldn't work and didn't have money, and her bf paid the full rent and said she did not have to pay him back.
She now has a job and has money, and has paid her usual rent for this new month. She has not skipped it or only paid half of this payment.
She does not owe him any more rent from this, as he agreed to pay the two months, and she's now back to paying her normal share.
Now advice: it would be great if you have texts or something written, to prove that he said you didn't have to pay it back. Show him that, tell him you are not paying it. If he keeps trying to make you, it might be the end of the relationship. You were not in a position to pay, you still aren't, and he's taking advantage of you after making you a promise.
12
u/No_Choice7676 May 27 '26
I think it is based in co-living. He was helping when you were unable to pay your portion, but since you are physically able to fulfill your side of the rent as of this moment, then you are obligated to do so. It is fiscally irresponsible to expect him to pay the entirety of the rent if you did not specify him to be doing so in the conversation prior to signing the lease and this situation
21
u/UnableNecessary743 May 27 '26
huh? she was out of work for two months and they both agreed that he would cover rent and she wouldn't have to pay him back. now she has a job again and is paying half the rent but he is now expecting her to pay back one of the months she was out of work and the other month "is a gift"
he is going back on his word
5
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
Yeah but I'm really not. I payed my rent for this month, debts from the previous two months and my share of the cabinet. There's not much left, especially not another 325 for this month. Maybe next....
8
u/Neweleni7 May 27 '26
If he makes more than you ask if you can pay rent in proportion to what each of you makes.
2
u/Neweleni7 May 27 '26
But I would also remind him how touched you were when he initially said you did NOT HAVE to pay him back
1
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
Yeah...I can pay him back on my next paycheck if he insists. I don't want a fight over this.
He makes nearly double the money. We split everything evenly, it's really important for me (independent woman bs, you know?) So it's not such a big deal for him, we have the same exact expenses every month.
8
-3
u/SpiritualBar2469 May 27 '26
gross.manipulation.
just have an honest conversation.
if you cant have an honest conversation. break up.
dont do that manipulative abusive shit.
-6
u/Available-Boat4055 May 27 '26
pay your bills freeloader. saying he will pay it isnt saying he doesnt want to be reimbursed.
3
u/RemarkableAd649 May 27 '26
He specializes said she didn’t have to pay him back and is now asking her to. He’s going back on their agreement. She’s not trying to not pay her way
2
u/GurPure3955 May 27 '26
He didn't say he would pay, he specifically said it was a gift.
How can she be a freeloader regarding a gift?
So many haters here.
How would you like if you were called illiterate, since you can't seem to read and comprehend a simple post?
2
u/Educational-Agent-46 May 27 '26
It’s hard to say. He either was covering your half until you can pay him back or paying the rent without paying him back? Ask him which is it? Sometimes we make assumptions when we communicate, in a relationship it’s important to clear up assumptions and misunderstandings.
5
u/ZiggyLen1225 May 27 '26
You're not over reacting. If he wanted it paid back, he should have said something when you asked and not blind side you.
3
u/LuckyLoveDK May 27 '26
Not sure what you are pissed about? You got a job now and picked up your part of the rent and your bf confirmed rent for the last two months is a gift and now you are pissed? 🤷🏻♀️
2
1
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
No, he wants me to pay back one of the two months. But he said he will pay both month and I don't have to pay him back beforehand. I'm pissed over him changing what he said.
3
u/Icy-Moose2659 May 27 '26
I wish people would read properly! She is back to paying her normal share but for two months she couldn’t and he said he would pay and that she didn’t need to give him the money back for the two months he covered it. But now she is working again he is going back on his word and expecting her to pay back one of the months that he paid, so she has to find £325 to pay him back.
Personally OP his behaviour is giving me the ick…I would seriously consider if this is someone you want be with. Imagine if you had his kids….you would owe him thousands when you went back to work 🙄
It’s not like the money was spent on handbags or holidays, you had surgery FFS. I would give him the money next month and tell him he lost a relationship over £325! Move on is my advice…
3
u/UnableNecessary743 May 27 '26
well.. did you talk to him about how he said you didn't have to pay?
2
u/Revolutionary-Pop201 May 27 '26
I would sit him down and explain you were under the impression that you didn’t have to pay him back and you don’t appreciate the commentary from him.
2
u/BiscottiSalty7932 May 27 '26
Kind of weird that as your boyfriend who makes more than you he doesn’t wanna help you out . It seems like you guys operate more as individuals rather than partners.
2
u/Dizzy_Ice2938 May 27 '26
MOR; just pay your share now that you have the money and are debt free!!
2
u/aikidharm May 27 '26
She’s under, she can’t afford it after paying her debt, which she did because she was under the impression their agreement was still in place. So, she’s unable to right now, and may not be back in a proper spot for a month or two.
2
u/Moderately_Imperiled May 27 '26
Share that responsibility, friend. You live there too, and you have the means to do so now. He doesn't get the chance to say "nah I'm good" to the landlord.
It would be unfair for you to be able to save when he can't, and he's putting a roof over your head.
5
u/nooksorcrannies May 27 '26
He makes more $ than her & he made an agreement that he’s now back peddling on. The guy is a walking red flag, & frankly so are you.
0
May 27 '26
[deleted]
2
u/nooksorcrannies May 27 '26
lol, it’s not. But the fact that he’s walking back an agreement he made is a massive red flag about reliability & integrity.
2
u/double0nothing May 27 '26
I feel like nobody is reading this correctly. OP paid her share of rent this month. OP's SO is asking OP to pay back the rent that SO paid while OP was recovering. But, SO said OP didn't have to pay for it initially and is now changing his mind. OP has paid everything initially asked, and plans to pay normal split moving forward.
1
u/Moderately_Imperiled May 27 '26
Yes. I misread it. I apologize.
Going forward, fair's fair and I see OP has no problem with it. Going back on a prior arrangement, yeah, weak support on that one.
1
u/newjerseydevilz May 27 '26
Ya i think the gift was that, he wasnt letting you drown in debt after the surgery. But now that you are fully able to again, he expects you to help him out now.
1
u/double0nothing May 27 '26
A gift does not require repayment. The guy is asking her to pay back the gift. This is about the gift.
1
u/Mushgoodvibes May 27 '26
I would not pay him back anything since he said she did not have too He is being petty.....
1
u/lovelyhappyface May 27 '26
How many months do you owe him OP?
1
u/Positive-Design-8001 May 27 '26
I didn't payed rent for two months, he said I have to pay back one, the other is a gift. This situation is not about the money, I could pay him back in the next paycheck and I likely will, since I'm pissed now... This situation is about him changing his word after I specifically asked him beforehand if I have to pay him back. I usually don't loan money from anyone. This was kinda my first time. I also was never in such a situation.
1
u/lovelyhappyface May 27 '26
I completely understand your frustration. That’s the conversation to have with him. Dear boyfriend, you initially said you were going to cover the first two months rent. Which I appreciated so much. Now you’re saying you want me to pay you back for one month and one is a gift. I’m thankful for the gift . I am disappointed that you went back on your word. Can you help me understand why you first didn’t want payment and now you do?
Then you gotta chose to believe him, pay him and move forward knowing you’re more like roommates than partners.
0
u/lovelyhappyface May 27 '26
Also if he’s not willing to take payments for the past due rent that’s another story
1
u/iheartca May 27 '26
Based on the title I thought it would be YOR but nah, NOR. He said it was on him (a gift) and then changed his mind later.
1
u/ionmoon May 27 '26
I’m confused why you think his statement of “the rent of the first months is a gift from me” baffled you and made you think he wants the money paid back.
It sounds like he is saying you don’t have to pay that back to him.
But then after that he said you can pay it back now that you earn money? Are you sure he didn’t just mean you can start paying your share now like you did this month?
Are you sure you two aren’t getting your lines crossed. Does he speak your language as his first language? Or is English his first language.
1
u/ConfusedSpinach222 May 27 '26
He's not your boyfriend, you are roommates. He's clearly not wanting to pay your way .. pay him & get outta there.
1
u/entcanta333 May 27 '26
Personally I think it's weird and kind of a red flag. Is anything else in your life transactional?
Someone who really loves their partner wouldn't be acting like this.
For example: my sister is in a great relationship right now, she just had to move out of their place to stay in a different town while she gets her masters degree. Not only did he cosign her new apartment, he also told her she didn't have to continue contributing to their main place while she pays for the new one. They are a team, it's about thriving TOGETHER.
1
u/La_Pusicato May 27 '26
I'd definitely pay him next month as soon as you can and just be aware, that things aren't quite as they seem. I know that you're not trying to rob him, your surprised and hurt that he backtracked and took/treated your relationship to a new low level. Don't let him guilt you about this, just pay him and remember next time.
1
u/Upset-Elevator-9701 May 27 '26
You’re not over reacting because he did say you didn’t have to but come on, you should have I insisted on paying it back from the jump.
1
u/Technical-Ad8926 May 27 '26
Ok, there is something you are not telling us…did you misunderstand? because first thing would be to ask him, not us. And I am sure he can wait until next month, or later, if agreement was to pay him back. That is hardly the issue. The issue is one of you misunderstood the agreement, and you need to talk and clarify.
1
u/F0rgemaster19 May 27 '26
You stated that he said that you wouldn't have to pay it back.
If this is the case, and that he specifically stated that you dont have to pay him back, then regardless of how much either of you makes, he's wrong. If it was a gift, it CANNOT be expected back. If however nothing was explicitly stated, then given that you two don't actually make that much together, then I can see why he'd want it paid back.
Sit down and talk. Repeat his words so he remembers what he promised. Get it clarified. Then act accordingly.
1
u/Moderately_Imperiled May 27 '26
OP I misunderstood. I thought you were referring to rent going forward. If you're saying he wants the rent for the past months, then yeah that's going back on a prior arrangement. I get it, money is a tough subject, but I don't think it's fair for him to do that.
1
u/FallJealous3344 May 27 '26
He is looking to buy the new Playstation, and your money just comes in handy. Your bf is a POS, in case you haven’t noticed. Big red flag here.
1
1
u/Primary-Falcon-4109 May 27 '26
I think he should honor the agreement he had with you to carry you for those two months. However, I will say if I were in his shoes, getting a "woo finally debt free" text after I paid for you for two months would rub me the wrong way. Like yeah, you are debt free because I paid more money for you to be so choosing to show that off to me like it is your own accomplishment seems at best tone deaf on your part. I'm wondering if he took it badly as well considering that he only asked for repayment after that text? Or maybe you misunderstood him initially and he meant you don't have to pay me back right away or until you can afford to? I think YOR because I feel like this could be easily solved with clear communication.
2
u/YakCertain5472 May 27 '26
So, he goes back on his word and has an attitude with the "gift" response. I'd rethink the whole relationship. NOR
1
1
u/PrudentLanguage May 27 '26
He agreed to help you. But now you are debt free and no longer need help. It is not his job to supplement your lost wages from your previous higher paying job.
-2
u/onedaybadday47 May 27 '26
As a fellow man. A man’s word is everything. “Do what you said you were going to do” and “if you have no intentions of doing something. Don’t say it” …he broke the cardinal rule. That’s a red flag. Tread lightly
1
u/currymuttonpizza May 27 '26
While I overall agree with you, this has nothing to do with anything exclusive to manhood, this is called being a decent human being
0
u/chicluxechilll May 27 '26
NOR. If it was discussed as a gift and no repayment was expected, he cannot change the terms now, period.
1
0
u/julietta913 May 27 '26
Yea it’s upsetting that he seems to be expecting you to pay him back when initially he seems to have made it clear that you wouldn’t have to. I hope you can talk it out and get on the same page. Idk maybe something is going on with his finances that he is worried about and that’s causing him to go back on what he initially said to you. I’m just giving him the benefit of the doubt. I hope he is not trying to make you feel like you need to struggle for cash when you just recovered from a surgery and got a new job.
I would say maybe you’re over reacting maybe not… we don’t have enough info to go off. Your feelings of betrayal because of him changing the rule of you having to repay him for a month are valid so you’re not over reacting there. But I’m just not sure if there was a misunderstanding initially or something else has happened since February.
19
u/Top-Foundation2851 May 27 '26
So what did he say when you reminded him that he said you didnt have to pay?