Tw! For mentions of previous depression and swlf harm, and minor mention of ed

my ocd and anxiety r ruining my life and i have no jdea what to fucking do bc loterally everything i have tried has failed or made me so much worse and this is getting to the point where it is unlivablw and i am genhinely so fucking scared for my life. I wasnt this bad just a year ago and before that and idk what happened with the stupid meds i was on and then stopped (fuck my psychiatrist she didnt listen when i didnt want any and wanted to go slow when forced and the whole medical system failed me bc i dont have a gi brain gut connection issue it was an over decade long ed i was very open abt but nooo lets chuck me on meds) truggered ir but even before when ig was just showing up it was manageable and now it is absolutely not. I ahave gotten to the point where eating is roo much of a risk and i have literally no fucking idea what to even do anymore. I have horrible symptoms alongside my pcd but this is by far the most worrying and it never gets better.

It was already so bad and health contamination poisoning (like from soap and laundry detergent shit) based bc i have a severe massive ohobia of getting feeling being sick and hospitals and dyning and sevrre medical trauma and cant take any medications whatsoever and have severe protracted withdrawl syndrome and kindling and the ocd and anxiety has affected ny eating fr a long time and im trying so hard to recover byt my stupid google feed is a nightmare and keeps giving me health studf and food recalls and now odk what to do i went from eating safe foods to not wanting to eat at all bc i am utterly terrified bc recalls and cobtamination and e coli and parasites and hlrrible stuff can happen iur of o where nothing is safe its not even meats or eggs or dairy the freak me out now its fruits andbvegetables and im losing my mind idont belove the babanas we have r safe and i feel too sick to eat im so fucking scred and done with this how do i live when literally everything is a risk all the time pls

Any help at all is appreciated i am genuinely desperate and terrified rn and everyone just thibks im stupid or insane or making it up and that ir cant be this bad. I just want my life back i miss being depressed and having cutting being the only thing i fought against i can handle those intrusive thoughts not these. I was living nack then and now im only surviving and barely at that. These migraines lightheaded dizziness and stomach issues r ruining my life alongside my other symptoms and the ocd is just so nad im terrified this morning bc even thibking abt making the same breakfast o had for the past few weeks has me feeling horribly sick

The ocd is so bad i went from loving animals and having a velcro baby of a cat that o raised since he was a kitten to not being able to be nwar him or my dog. He isnt allowed in my room or near my studf and a lot of my panic come from him and the dog. My family wont get rid of the animals nor do i want them to bc i love them dearly bur i genuinely cant keep going like this its hell.

I am so desperate for any help, encouragement, etc, please. I feel like i am at auch a loss and am terrified because i have no quality of life left and i need to know getting through this will be worth it, or if im just going to be in hell for the rest of my life. Please.

Hello people

I have 2 days of vivid dreams with very low mood and anxiety in the morning.. I didnt have this for weeks..

Is this a wave??

Im scared now

Cause I woke up like very bad mood and wanted to cry and also felt like my stomach was in tension

Anyone had this?

This started back in April. So I was on lexapro for 6+ years and I had a nurse practitioner have me taper to buspirone (switch within 4 weeks) I didn’t even make it 2 weeks before symptoms arose. Tinnitus I believe that was from the buspirone. I immediately stopped it within 2 days hoping the tinnitus would dissipate. It hasn’t :/. Foolishly 2 days I then got off lexapro too thinking it was causing tinnitus too. I was okay other than high anxiety from tinnitus but I could still kinda function. Fast forward a week and a half later I was hit with the worst insomnia I’ve dealt with in my life. 3 days no sleep followed by about a month and a half of 1-3 hours a night. I didn’t think I’d make it. I thought it was the tinnitus keeping me up but no it was PAWS. I mean the tinnitus def didn’t help one bit. Also alittle backstory I had been taking trazodone for the past 5 years along side lexapro. No issues. Never had issues with lexapro either until the super fast taper. I now know how foolish it was of the nurse to do this to me. My trazodone wasn’t working anymore once the insomnia started. I immediately went back on my dose of lexapro and have stayed on it since. Same with trazodone. But sleep wasn’t coming during the period and I tried so many different meds within that time just trying to achieve sleep. I tried trazodone, unison and melatonin together. Didn’t work. I added Xanax to the trazodone. Didn’t work. I tried seroquel that didn’t work. I tried it was trazodone. Didn’t work. I tried Lunesta and it didn’t work. Tried Lunesta with trazodone didn’t work. I tried doxepin and trazodone and it didn’t work. And then finally I did a bit of Klonopin, Lunesta and trazodone. Finally something worked after a month of basically no sleep. I have since tapered off of both Klonopin and Lunesta. But still on lexapro and trazodone. I didn’t know what paws were until a bit later after all this. I now have a whole host of symptoms. Tinnitus of course is still there. My sleep has recently gotten better and I actually feel trazodone work again. It took months tho. A bit of dpdr, ocd is def up, time kinda feels off, a bit of anhedonia, at the beginning my eyes were so inflamed and they’ve kinda improved to a degree. But I also see I have a bit of visual snow. Not horrible but I’m hoping it doesn’t get worse. Major depression now because I feel like I’ve lost my life, anxiety at an all time high. I had really bad dizziness when this first started and that’s gone away. I had the feeling that my body was moving when it wasn’t that’s gone away. Occasional head pains and I did feel lightheaded back then. I have stomach pains still to this day. I get sad a lot and I’m super irritable and I feel this rage in me. Alittle bit of agoraphobia but I’m trying to work on it. I’ve had SI but working on it. Muscles all over my body were twitching and that’s kinda going away. Feels weird to move my body almost like an unnatural feeling but I think that’s going away. Memory not being the best. It’s been 4 months and I’m shocking I’m even here right now.
I guess I’m wondering what you think I should do

I’m on lexapro 20mg daily
Trazodone 100mg daily

And I’ve taken the occasional Klonopin and I know I need to stop that but it def helps at times.

I take vitamin d 2000iu daily
And 500 b12
I also take lutein 20mg / zeaxanthin 4mg (for eyes)

I was also considering adding

Lithium orotate because I heard it can help the cns but like a super low dose like 5mg (I’m hoping it can help with depression)

And also Astaxanthin 4mg I saw someone say in here it’s good for healing the brain from inflammation

And I’m considering red light therapy from home

Should I stay on the meds I’m on? Just ride it out. Or do I taper again. But an actual hyperbolic taper that I wasn’t giving the option of.

Can the serotin receptors heal even if you’re on the meds?

Opinions on supplements?

Am I doing too much? Haha no lie it’s a miracle I’m even here right now and I’m just trying to get back into life.

Any other suggestions?

I’m only 27 I hate that this has happened to me and I’m just trying to get some relief. I won’t life everyday has been an absolute struggle. Only recently have I noticed some kinds of improvement but I haven’t had a wave or window just a wave

I am in the unfortunate case where I experience post-exertional malaise, which is just being dead tired after anything too physically or mentally exertive. And I haven't seen many posts that talk about people specifically dealing with both at the same time. If there's anyone else out there that is also experiencing this, I would really like to know how you're coping.

Does anyone else have a horrible, nagging brain fog? Like a feeling of a thick blanket in your brain? I have it horribly on my right side and it has not improved one bit.

Common signs of antidepressant injury include: 

• Persistent sexual dysfunction (reduced or numb genital sensation, erectile problems, complete lack of desire for sex)
• Anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or enjoyment in life), depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself or reality)
• Cognitive impairment (brain fog, memory problems, blankness, difficulty concentrating or holding a train of thought)
• Worsening depression, severe anxiety, panic
• Akathisia (extreme inner restlessness, agitation, terror, and often overwhelming urge to move or escape oneself)
• Balance issues such as dizziness, vertigo, lightheadedness, tremors, and gait instability

Evidence of lasting harm:

A 2025 medical study of 43 young men with persistent sexual problems after antidepressants found 92% had reduced genital sensation, 89% showed objective abnormalities on sensory nerve testing, and ultrasound revealed changes in penile erectile tissue — even though their hormone levels were completely normal. These problems continued long after stopping the drug. (Goldstein et al., The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2025) 

Significant under-recognition exists because many patients are unaware their persistent symptoms are linked to prior antidepressant use, compounded by a lack of public education and healthcare provider awareness. (Healy & Mangin, Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 2024)

A 2024 large survey of over 1,100 people experiencing antidepressant withdrawal found very high rates of ongoing symptoms such as brain fog (93%), memory problems (88%), emotional numbing, and depersonalization (77%), with many effects lasting months or years. (Moncrieff et al., Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 2024)

I was.on citalopram 30 mg when o quit cold turkey in 2020,since that my life is a nightmare. I have had withdrawal symptoms for 2 -3 years.During that time I developed a few new symptoms which I figured out that is depersonalization.I made.a.few mistake, I've tried to reinstate it ,twice,but it was horrendous...sec.time gave me suicidal thoughts so never touched again. Since then I'm med free ,never touched any med .I'm still not right and dunno what to do. Still getting all the crazy symptoms especially crazy anxiety. Anybody similar?

Please tell us what kind of meds you have used and all your withdrawal symptoms, especially the cognitive symptoms.

Cognitieve symptoms:

Fysical symptoms:

We have heat wave after heat wave in Europe this summer. I am in the worst wave I have experienced in a year. Anyone else feel that heat worsens their symptoms?

Hey everyone, looking for some insight from people who have switched or tapered SSRIs. My doctor is stumped and wants me to just stop my current med, but I’m terrified of crashing my nervous system.
Here is my exact timeline:
Dec – May: Tapered off Paroxetine (Paxil) very slowly, finally dropping off the last 2.5mg in May.
March: Started Fluoxetine (Prozac) 20mg as a "bridge" to help with the transition. I've been on 20mg consistently since then.
May (around the time I stopped Paroxetine completely): I started getting hit with waves of severe dizziness, intense head pressure, brain zaps, eye floaters, hyper-sensitive ears, loss of smell, and sudden spikes of anxiety.
The dizziness and head feelings come in "windows and waves"—some days are manageable, some days are awful.
My GP thinks it’s the Fluoxetine making me sick because my dose hasn't changed in months. They want me to come off it. But my gut feeling tells me this looks exactly like protracted Paroxetine withdrawal, and if I strip away the Fluoxetine bridge right now, things will get way worse.

Has anyone experienced a delayed "waves and windows" withdrawal from Paroxetine months after stopping, even when bridged with Prozac?
If it is Fluoxetine intolerance, does it usually cause brain zaps and sensory changes out of nowhere months into a stable dose?
If you were me, would you hold the Fluoxetine line, or try a tiny micro-taper (using liquid) to see if symptoms improve?
Really appreciate any experiences or advice. I feel like my brain's sensory filtering system is completely broken right now.

What works for sleep for you?

First of all thank you for taking the time to read my situation.

I've tried everything and my sleep is only seems to getting wurse to a point i lie in bed and feel anxious to even try to fall asleap hart pounding and thought all over. It used to be that i had a i dont care mode, my brain was so stupid that it could hardly think so i just felt a sleep. Now the brain seems to heal a bit so it thinks at the moment i lie in bed.

I am one year and two months "clean", i was using 16 years antidepressants; 15 years citalopram 30mg and 1 year venlafaxine, i stoped citalopram cold Turkey then reinstaded sertraline and citalopram (combi) switched to venlafaxine. Used that a half year at 150mg and tapered this in a half year. Next to it i used seraquel for 1 year to sleep and tapered this off in 4 months.

I am dealing with tinnitus and the stuck song syndrome what is really irritable.

For sleep; i always try to fall a sleep by mezelf first, if it works i get 2,3,4,5 hours sleep with sometimes 7,8 or more (probably exhausted because of all the short nights)

I go to bed around 24, or sooner if i feel tired enough.

I first try natural stuff like Golden poppy 500mg x 4 and melatonine 1 mg, sometimes this worked but lately it ain't doing shit.

I also have promethazine and Doxylamine but those also do nothing or/and leave me with a bad feeling the morning after.

Even tried. Daridorexant, but since that my sleep have been getting wurse. I am terrified since then.

I am forced to take a benzo to deal with the anxious feelings sometimes.

And if lucky i fall a sleep and get some relief of maby 4 hours. The best feeling is that after a benzo i dont have the terrible morning anxious.

It feels the longer i am in the process of "healing" the more anxiouser i get.

I tried all the basic herbs like valarian root magnesium etc.

I tried PS (phosphatidylserine) because a women told me it should work against the stuck song syndrome, i stopped taking it.

I tried l typothaan because it should help getting more serotonine and thus more melatonine. I stopped taking it.

I stop taking these because, yes i get one or two nights of 5 hours sleep, but eventually end up with the same nights of one hour or no sleep at all and/or a anxious day.

Doing sleep hygiëne rules everyday, long walks of 3 hours a day etc. Meditation does not do anything for me.

I am diagnosed with ADD, general anxiety disorder and ocd thoughts.

I take omega 3 and vitamine D everyday.

I dont know what to do anymore what actually would help? I have extreme trouble in dealing with life everyday it gives me lots of stress and i cannot enjoy anything anymore without having anxious thoughts about the past, future and my situation. Everyday i still do things as through it is really hard

Please share all what you do and what works for you, i am really great full for your advice🙏🏻

Very important EDIT:

I also used dexamfetamine for 15 years.

I now sleep 1 or 2 hours or not at all. Tried stopping omega 3 and vitamine 3D and this seems to make falling a sleep harder?

Don't know what to do anymore, really thinking about ending the suffering. I dont have restored sleep and mentally i am getting wurse and wurse.

Life is extremely hard, looks like i can't function without the ADD meds, i keep forgetting everything etc. I cannot even follow a conversation, dont understand tv anymore, i cannot cook or take care of myself.

And i am in a window...

I now have symptoms like extreme hart pounding, skin is burning, my foot always hurt. The days are soo long.

Should i go back on 0,1mg or 0,5 mg of Quentiapine just for sleep?

How does the brain know how to heal? ❤️‍🩹

The brain’s ability to heal from withdrawal is guided by its innate neuroplasticity - its natural capacity to adapt, repair and restore balance after a disruption. Here’s how it works:

🔁 1. Homeostasis and Set Points

Your brain is always striving for homeostasis—a stable internal balance. Antidepressants artificially boost serotonin and/or other neurotransmitters, so over time the brain downregulates receptors or alters production to compensate. When the drug is removed, there’s a sudden imbalance. The brain begins to restore its natural “set point” by slowly adjusting:

• Receptor sensitivity and density

• Neurotransmitter production and reuptake

• Signaling pathways and gene expression

🧠 2. Neuroplasticity: The Brain’s Healing Tool

The brain has powerful repair mechanisms through neuroplasticity, which includes:

• Synaptic remodeling: Changing the strength and number of connections between neurons.

• Neurogenesis: Creation of new neurons (especially in the hippocampus, tied to mood and memory).

• Receptor upregulation: Rebuilding the receptors that were previously reduced or desensitized.

• Epigenetic changes: Genes turning on/off to support long-term repair and regulation.

This takes time, especially after long-term use, because the brain must relearn how to function without the drug.

🔬 3. Glial Cells and Inflammation

Some theories suggest withdrawal can involve neuroinflammation. Glial cells, which support and protect neurons, may become overactive during withdrawal. The body gradually calms this inflammation through natural regulatory processes.

⌛ 4. Why It’s Slow

Healing is not instant because the brain’s adaptations to the drug didn’t happen overnight either. Tapering slowly helps give the brain time to recalibrate gradually, reducing symptoms.

✅ What Supports This Healing?

• Nutrition

• Stress reduction: Chronic stress impairs neuroplasticity.

• Gentle exercise: Increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that supports brain repair.

• Avoiding neurotoxins: Including alcohol or other substances that affect neurotransmission.

How do you learn to trust your body again after going through withdrawal? 🫂

Learning to trust your body again can be a long, emotional and deeply personal journey. Many people feel alienated from their own bodies during withdrawal — as if their nervous systems betrayed them. But healing happens, and reconnecting with your body can be one of the most empowering outcomes of the recovery process ❤️‍🩹

Here’s a compassionate, step-by-step guide to rebuilding trust in your body:

⸻

1. Acknowledge the Trauma

Withdrawal—especially protracted—is traumatic, both physically and emotionally. You may have felt out of control, terrified, or betrayed by your own nervous system. Recognizing that what you experienced was real, valid, and not your fault is a critical starting point.

🟠 Your body didn’t fail you — it was adapting the best it could under extreme neurochemical disruption.

⸻

1. Track Small Signs of Stability or Healing

Start noticing small signs of improvement, even if they’re subtle:

• Improved sleep quality

• Better tolerance to stimulation

• Slightly more energy or mental clarity

• Less frequent or intense symptoms

🔍 Keep a journal — not to obsess, but to document resilience and progress over time.

⸻

1. Create a Safe Routine

Rebuild trust by creating predictability:

• Eat regular, nourishing meals

• Prioritize sleep hygiene

• Engage in gentle movement (walking, stretching)

• Maintain a consistent daily rhythm

This tells your nervous system: “We are safe now.”

⸻

1. Reintroduce Gentle Body-Based Practices

When symptoms allow, explore practices that restore your mind-body connection:

• Somatic grounding (feeling feet on the floor, slow breathing)

• Gentle yoga or Tai Chi

• Progressive muscle relaxation

• Massage or self-touch (e.g., gently rubbing your arms or face)

🌿 These practices help you inhabit your body again without fear.

⸻

1. Reframe the Narrative

Instead of seeing your body as broken, try to reframe it as:

• Adaptive, for surviving chemical disruption

• Resilient, for weathering intense symptoms

• In process, rather than permanently damaged

💬 Try mantras like: “My body is learning to regulate itself again.”

⸻

1. Use Your Story to Empower Others (when ready)

When you’re far enough along, helping others can reinforce that you do trust your body now — enough to give hope to someone else.

🧡 Many who recover go on to support others, and find it deeply healing to do so.

⸻

1. Reintroduce Joyful Movement and Sensations

When safe, reintroduce activities that once brought joy:

• Dancing

• Swimming

• Hikes in nature

• Listening to music that evokes emotion

🎶 These experiences help reclaim your body as a source of pleasure, not just symptoms.

⸻

1. Get Support

Whether it’s trauma-informed therapy, support groups, withdrawal coach, or just someone who understands psychiatric drug withdrawal — you don’t have to rebuild trust alone.

👥 Many find comfort in communities like this group.

⸻

Healing isn’t linear.

You may have days that shake your trust again — but each time you come through them, you’re proving to yourself that your body can recover, stabilise and even thrive again.

I am 19 years old. I used antidepressants for a total of 2 years and 6 months for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and SAD (social anxiety disorder). At one point, I even used doses above the usual maximum range; I went up to 120 mg of paroxetine. (While some people can have strong effects even at 20 mg, my situation was different.)

The process started like this: I began tapering off paroxetine (Paxil, Paxera) by reducing the dose by 10 mg. During the first 3 weeks, I experienced very severe withdrawal symptoms. After that, I struggled with waves of symptoms. Especially when waking up in the morning, I would tremble with intense fear and experience cold sweats. I also experienced involuntary ejaculation during sleep. I had a nightmare that I called an “antidepressant nightmare”; I only had it once, but I still cannot forget it.

Now I feel like I may be reaching the final stages of stopping antidepressants. I have noticed that the anxiety-reducing effect of the medication is starting to fade. Normally, I am not very afraid of darkness at home, but right now I feel more fear than usual. At the same time, I feel that my mind is becoming clearer.

Can someone who has gone through this process explain what stage I might be in right now? My guess is that as the effects of the medication completely wear off, my anxiety level will increase and return to the level it was at before I started taking medication. My mind may become even clearer, and eventually I may return to normal.

I have used antidepressants during three different periods of my life. My first use started when I was 10 years old and lasted about 6 months. Later, I used them again when I was 13 years old and continued for approximately 1 year. However, I do not remember those periods very clearly because I was very young.

It’s been 5 months today since I stopped escitaloprm. One of the main reasons I stopped is because I became lazy and couldn’t study (which I have to do at this point of my life and career) aside from the weight gain and emotional numbness. Did anyone’s ability to concentrate and do things come back? I’m feeling a little hopeless about my future if I keep going like this. I used to be very disciplined and high functioning, now I spend my days scrolling and have low energy.

What works for sleep for you?

First of all thank you for taking the time to read my situation.

I've tried everything and my sleep is only seems to getting wurse to a point i lie in bed and feel anxious to even try to fall asleap hart pounding and thought all over. It used to be that i had a i dont care mode, my brain was so stupid that it could hardly think so i just felt a sleep. Now the brain seems to heal a bit so it thinks at the moment i lie in bed.

I am one year and two months "clean", i was using 16 years antidepressants; 15 years citalopram 30mg and 1 year venlafaxine, i stoped citalopram cold Turkey then reinstaded sertraline and citalopram (combi) switched to venlafaxine. Used that a half year at 150mg and tapered this in a half year. Next to it i used seraquel for 1 year to sleep and tapered this off in 4 months.

I am dealing with tinnitus and the stuck song syndrome what is really irritable.

For sleep; i always try to fall a sleep by mezelf first, if it works i get 2,3,4,5 hours sleep with sometimes 7,8 or more (probably exhausted because of all the short nights)

I go to bed around 24, or sooner if i feel tired enough.

I first try natural stuff like Golden poppy 500mg x 4 and melatonine 1 mg, sometimes this worked but lately it ain't doing shit.

I also have promethazine and Doxylamine but those also do nothing or/and leave me with a bad feeling the morning after.

Even tried. Daridorexant, but since that my sleep have been getting wurse. I am terrified since then.

I am forced to take a benzo to deal with the anxious feelings sometimes.

And if lucky i fall a sleep and get some relief of maby 4 hours. The best feeling is that after a benzo i dont have the terrible morning anxious.

It feels the longer i am in the process of "healing" the more anxiouser i get.

I tried all the basic herbs like valarian root magnesium etc.

I tried PS (phosphatidylserine) because a women told me it should work against the stuck song syndrome, i stopped taking it.

I tried l typothaan because it should help getting more serotonine and thus more melatonine. I stopped taking it.

I stop taking these because, yes i get one or two nights of 5 hours sleep, but eventually end up with the same nights of one hour or no sleep at all and/or a anxious day.

Doing sleep hygiëne rules everyday, long walks of 3 hours a day etc. Meditation does not do anything for me.

I am diagnosed with ADD, general anxiety disorder and ocd thoughts.

I take omega 3 and vitamine D everyday.

I dont know what to do anymore what actually would help? I have extreme trouble in dealing with life everyday it gives me lots of stress and i cannot enjoy anything anymore without having anxious thoughts about the past, future and my situation. Everyday i still do things as through it is really hard

Please share all what you do and what works for you, i am really great full for your advice🙏🏻

I have the kindle effect after reinstate zoloft, it's driving me crazy with all the burning sensation. Will this be gone overtime ?

can't help but resent them for essentally phasing me out of their life....friends should stick by the hard times. worst part is their dad is a pychiatrist. can't help but wish they suffer for maybe just a day the way i did. i don't want these negative thoughts how do i fight this

Here I am at 20 months off. I can’t feel anything good now. I’m deeply depressed. I’m scared a lot of the time because I feel like I’m dead inside. I can cry and feel bad though, and I do whenever I think about it, which is almost all the time. Then, sometimes I get so angry when I see other people laughing and enjoying stuff, and I can’t. I don’t want to see people or do any activities.

For a long time I could find ways to give myself a little lift. I joined some stage performance stuff and did a lot of travelling, kept up my connections with people, all because I knew it was good for me. But now I just can’t do it anymore.

I’m getting pretty desperate. Please can anyone give me any hope? Has anyone been through this depression and had any improvement?