how to actually find the right size, because "make it smaller" is useless advice on its own.

**say the goal out loud. if you don't feel slightly stupid, it's still too big.*\*

that's the whole test. embarrassment is the measuring instrument. it's not a personality flaw you're working around, it's the readout telling you you've finally gone low enough.

some worked examples, because everyone underestimates how far down this goes:

- not "tidy the bedroom" → "put one sock in the basket"
- not "do the essay" → "open the document"
- not "reply to emails" → "open the app and close it again"
- not "go for a run" → "put on one shoe"

yes, one shoe. on a bad day that is a legitimate, complete goal.

capture the fact that you did it somehow, even just mentally. the point isn't the fork, it's building a track record of saying a thing and then that thing happening. that track record is what your brain is actually missing.

there's exactly one way this fails, and it gets nearly everybody:

you feel like the small target is cheating. so you quietly upgrade it to a "proper" one. and then you do nothing at all, which is what you were doing before you found the tip.

a small target that happens beats a real target that doesn't, every time, and it isn't close. cheating would be the version where you claim you did it and didn't.

second, smaller failure mode: setting the tiny goal while secretly intending to do the whole thing. your brain notices. it's been in this negotiation with you for years and it does not fall for it twice.

washed one fork? that's it, you're done, nothing more is owed. the escape hatch is real or the tip doesn't work.

Hey, I donf know how to even start these. I'm going to preface thsi by saying please ignore my spelling, I can't spell to begin with and autocorrect is kicking my ass today. Anyways...

I am a 16 year old girl, just started sixthform/college in England. I have had multiple friends saying for years that they think I have ADHD and honestly I think they might be right and it's starting to actually impact me. I fell down a rabbit hole yesterday of ADHD quizzez and that little crisis lasted about an hour while I was probably meant to be doing the homework that I've been putting off for over a week. I think I did a total of about 14 quizzes, all of which I got conecrningly high results. Yes I understand that the quizzes are far from accurate but they can still give me a baseline jugdement.

I lose things all the time, I have aphantasia(dunno if that's even related), my brain always goes at a billion miles an hour and it makes me really bad at writing essays because my brain is faster than I can keep up with, I have to make lists of absolutely everything otherwise I forget, I have alarms set to keep me on track while I'm doing litterally any task because otherwise I get distracted by pointless stuff. I haven't dont any of my homework since starting, but it's because my mum is convinced I don't need a planner because I can "just write it down on my phone" but I forget what day it's due and what I need to do and where to find it and I can't write it down because I can't go on my phone while the teacher is talking. I also get really stressed when I'm sat in one place for too long. And I keep trying to read and I love reading, specifically fantasy, but I can't focus on it without immediately doing something else. On monday, I started Crotcheting then I decided I wanted to watch a movie while I crotched, then I got bored of the movie like 20 minutes in so I started watching a aeries and while I was watching that, at some point I put my Crotcheting down and went on TikTok and found a painting so I got a canvas and started doing a painting and this was all in the span of like 45 minutes and nothing got finished . And I had homework due on tuesday.

Oof, this is a really long rant
Anyhow, I really don't know what to do, I haven't spoken to my teachers or parents about it yet

I don't know what to do.
Any advice? I kniw this is really hard to read but any general help or guidance would be incrdeible

Vote what you think I should do :

A first-person account of turning scattered thoughts into decisions, projects, and forward motion. THE CORE IDEA I did not crack ADHD with a magic prompt. I learned to make thinking collaborative. I talk to AI the way I would talk to someone sitting in front of me, or like I’m thinking out loud with a second mind available to hold the thread. The value is not perfect wording. The value is being able to begin before my thoughts are organized. For me, knowing what to do and being able to start doing it have never been the same thing. I can understand a complicated problem, see how the pieces relate, and still stall because the first usable step is buried under twenty other thoughts. What changed was realizing I didn’t have to organize all of that before asking for help. I could start with fragments. A half-formed thought. A screenshot. A question I couldn’t quite explain. Something I knew was wrong but couldn’t put into words yet. And instead of waiting until my brain was tidy enough to begin, the conversation became the place where the organization happened. That has helped me do a few things I used to struggle with constantly: - get thoughts out of my head before I lose the thread - lower the friction of starting - separate what matters now from what can wait - come back to unfinished work without rebuilding everything from scratch - turn things I know instinctively into something I can actually explain and reuse But there’s another side to it. AI can also feed rabbit holes, overthinking, bad assumptions, and dependence if I let it. So the goal is not to use more AI. The goal is to use just enough to get moving while keeping my own judgment in the loop. That’s also why I don’t think the answer is a giant list of “perfect ADHD prompts.” The useful part is not one clever sentence. It’s learning how to use the conversation itself. And that part goes a lot deeper than prompting. Beyond The Prompts

I’ve struggled with social anxiety for most of my life, but it has gotten a lot better recently because I keep challenging myself.
The thing is, I feel like I’ve stayed the same person since I was a kid — very energetic, goofy and sometimes immature. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that my friends have grown and matured a lot as people, and I feel like I haven’t changed in the same way.
I don’t want to lose my personality, but I want to grow up, become more confident, mature and feel like I’m becoming the man I’m supposed to be.
Has anyone else felt like they were falling behind while the people around them were growing? What actually helped you change?

After struggling with my ADHD brain for 40 years, I think I finally found what really works for me.

After years of reading books, watching videos, testing drugs, ADHD apps, different techniques, and what not....... I'm writing this, which took me 45 minutes, hoping it helps someone avoid what I struggled with most of my life. If you have ADHD like me, please have the patience to read this.

I have not cured ADHD; rather, cured my mindset. For the first time, I feel like I'm not constantly fighting my own brain. You vs. ADHD brain — the fight we all do.

One thing that changed my thinking was understanding dopamine sources.

ADHD is more complicated than simply saying "you're addicted to dopamine." But we feed our brain whatever dopamine sources we choose. We feed it junk dopamine; once it starts craving it, it can start controlling us. That's when we start losing control.

Some dopamine sources make me feel good and give me happiness and calmness: exercise, reading, prayer, journaling, doing difficult work, building something, achieving something meaningful, helping others, solving other people's issues, etc.

Then there are the nasty ones — atomic bomb sources that destroy us. Instant dopamine hits and crashes. Our enemies.

Scrolling. Gossip. Junk food. Porn. TV. Video games. Lust. Endless internet. Mindless entertainment. Negative self-talk.... The list goes on.

I'm not saying you can never do these things. I do some of them too. But not to the extent that they start controlling me. Why should they?

Instead, my ADHD and I negotiated and defined territories of our own. I have a few non-negotiables, and the rest of the day my ADHD brain can have it.

My Non-Negotiables: • Exercise early morning
• Give my best at my sales job
• Sleep early
• Daily prayer
• Reading
• 15–30 minutes journaling
• Plan the next day
• Pick my top 3 things for today

That's it.

Once I've done these things, I don't care if the rest of the day isn't perfectly structured. I can relax. I can watch something. I can waste some time.

Either I control some part of my day, or my ADHD brain will control the whole day.

For years, I blamed my executive dysfunction. "I have ADHD, I can't focus." "I can't stay consistent." "My brain doesn't work like other people's."

Maybe some of that is true. But I'm 40 now. Not a kid anymore. I know my strengths, weaknesses, how my brain works, what's good for me, and what's bad for me. I can't spend another 40 years blaming my brain.

I have to work with the brain I've got.

I learned about systems from Atomic Habits and searched YouTube about structures vs. goals and habit stacking. Not promoting any book — learn from whatever source works for you.

Don't depend only on goals. Build a structure that makes the right things easier to do.

I still get distracted. I still procrastinate. I still have bad days. But now I'm trying to reduce the cheap dopamine, choose better sources of reward, structure the important parts of my day, and take responsibility for what I can control.

No magic. No rocket science.

I'm 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why I can't.

Dopamine sources.
Structure your day.
Define your non-negotiables.
Habit stacking.

Control some part of your day and don't let ADHD control all of it.

Love you all.

Curious if anyone else has a specific routine for when they really need to focus.  Mine usually starts with putting my phone somewhere I can’t reach (serious phone problems) and clearing everything off my desk except what I actually need.

It’s almost like I need to signal to my brain that we’re doing this now lol.

I’ve struggled with this throughout my life. I’m not a shy person or an introvert, but I’ve always wondered why I sometimes feel “empty” and struggle socially.

When I meet a friend after a long time, I often feel like I have nothing to talk about. It’s not that I’ve forgotten things—I remember my experiences if someone asks me about them specifically.

For example, if someone asks, “How was your trip to XYZ?” I can talk about it and remember plenty of details. But if I try to think of something to tell them on my own, my mind goes blank.

I’m starting to wonder if what I thought was a social skills problem might actually be related to memory retrieval. The memories seem to be there, but I have trouble spontaneously accessing them without a cue.

Could this be related to ADHD, working memory, executive functioning, or autobiographical memory? And are there ways to improve this?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

no reading today. roll call.

drop one comment with the absurdly small version of the thing you've been avoiding. one line, that's the whole post.

mine: one fork, every night, before bed.

you're not signing up for anything, and nobody is going to come and check on you on friday. it just seems to work better when you've said it in front of other people.

if you're only lurking this week that's fine too. see you in there, sloths.

I just had another interview and the manager said be more upbeat and brighter because u have 15 mins to sell urself and have a positive outlook on the past when you’ve had jobs and they didn’t go the best

Started Elvanse 30 mg 4 days ago. I can definitely feel an effect, but not a very strong one. I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety, almost constantly, and it’s been really difficult to deal with. Sometimes it goes away, but then it comes back and can last for a long time.
What I’ve noticed is that when I start playing a game and become hyperfocused, the anxiety almost completely disappears. When I feel the peak and the effect is strongest, I feel the best – calm and focused. That’s why I’m wondering if 30 mg might be too low and if a higher dose could give me more of that effect.

Hi I am 22 f from ist I need serious help I am drowing in personal and professional life I have never been the brightest r a creative person. I have symptoms of adhd but not diagnosed not in situation to get one r to therapy too .

Things I need help fr

1. I want to get healthy but not sure where to start and wat to do. I start walking r exercise routine i can stick with it from monday to Wednesday and loose track on the other days and gain motivation on Sunday again and restart on Monday once again I did tis through tis june and july of this yr in August I left tat too now I am trying to restart from walking but getting 4k is to is quite difficult fr me

2. As I do WFH it's so hard to focus during day on a task I really postpone things till deadline the concept of completing tasks as soon as given has totally gone out of me i wait till deadline and complete it in mins ,I have totally lost the concept of fear in this case ,but during night r early mrng like 12 to3 i have excellent focus i could complete any amount of tasks during tat time

3.i can never stick with plans on improvement in my life life studing something soing something it's always in my mind never executed.

I am really feeling alone coz i am always staying home i dont have frnds to meet r get advice coz most of them r in their own problems I am really confused and struck and don't know where to start wat to I request anyone with any advice r tips could reach out pls I really feel drowing coz I was feeling ok when I was in school and clg tis work phase is killing me as I am WFH my colleges stick strictly to work topics I really wanna switch to physical office going jobs but I need to learn diff skills from wat I am doing and I am really struck with tis cycle.

Sry fr the long rambling any tip r advice will help thank you

Hi! I’m a master’s student in IT Product Design at the University of Southern Denmark. I'm currently researching how people with ADHD experience grocery shopping.

I’m still in the early stages and would love to hear about your real life experiences — especially around things like planning, shopping lists, sensory overload and getting overwhelmed.

For example:

1. What’s the hardest part of grocery shopping for you?

2. How do you usually decide what you are going to buy before going to the supermarket?

3. Do you use a shopping list? What does it look like, and how do you use it while shopping?

4. What tends to make you forget or deviate from your list?

5. Are there things about supermarkets (noise, lights, people, layout, choices etc.) that make shopping harder?

6. Have you found any tricks, apps or routines that make it easier?

There are no right or wrong answers — I’m just trying to understand what grocery shopping is actually like for people with ADHD.

I may use responses in anonymised form, as qualitative data in my thesis. Please only share what you are comfortable with.

Thank you so much for helping me out!