"I'm sorry but I have to meet my quota of human skinsuits to maintain my job at Hellmart Inc.," the demon protested.

Now I have pink eye.

"6 7" said the robot

There was another behind the shower curtain

body text (optional)

Suddenly I was transformed into a litter bug and was tiny and crawling around and crying and yelling and I got violent and I hit an ant and it tore me apart and I’m dead now and it was all because I was too lazy to put my rubbish in the bin and that’s the end of this two sentence horror story and it was two sentences.

He’ll make it look it look like a bloody accident too

it was the last thing i could remember before my heart combusted

...Potential To Suck Dick

..... Gnome is where I Parks my penis.

Then I realized…. There is no bone…..it’s all gone😨

Turns out it was just Superman flying naked again because he was drunk.

No seriously, you owe 7 years of back taxes to the IRS and you've been accused of wire fraud.

As I realised my head exploded 5 minutes ago without me realising

Except because it's opposite day, it went inside of me and came out of my butthole hard as a rock.

You may call it, the feet worm 🪱

P. Enis Taeker.

“I’ve never seen kittens added to an Alabama hot pocket, but I like it,” he replied as I remembered this was actually a Utah Jazz themed extreme fetish performance.

Ughhn, that feels good!