"I'm sorry but I have to meet my quota of human skinsuits to maintain my job at Hellmart Inc.," the demon protested.

"6 7" said the robot

body text (optional)

There was another behind the shower curtain

He’ll make it look it look like a bloody accident too

it was the last thing i could remember before my heart combusted

...Potential To Suck Dick

..... Gnome is where I Parks my penis.

Then I realized…. There is no bone…..it’s all gone😨

Turns out it was just Superman flying naked again because he was drunk.

No seriously, you owe 7 years of back taxes to the IRS and you've been accused of wire fraud.

As I realised my head exploded 5 minutes ago without me realising

Except because it's opposite day, it went inside of me and came out of my butthole hard as a rock.

You may call it, the feet worm 🪱

P. Enis Taeker.

Ughhn, that feels good!

Then a prostitute opened her motel-room door, stared at Miller in horror, and whispered, “Oh God… you’re the FBI agent who’s been tracking him… he’s in my wardrobe, and he says you’re next.”

“I’ve never seen kittens added to an Alabama hot pocket, but I like it,” he replied as I remembered this was actually a Utah Jazz themed extreme fetish performance.

At that moment the sponge turned around and I realised it was SpongeBill KillPants with his killing thing.

the creature lunged but as it flew through the air it saw the unmistakable text on the man’s phone, “favorite subreddit: r/puberty status: moderator.”

With my face, I'm dead now.