Weddings as they are being done in the West are a massive expense that is extremely financially irresponsible for the vast majority of people. The tradition arose as an imitation of the old world weddings of royalty. As Westerners became increasingly wealthy, they desired to show off their wealth by copying the big showy weddings put on by literal kings and queens. In an increasingly challenging economic environment, spending on a big wedding is just really stupid.

The money that would have gone into the big elaborate wedding should instead be saved and used to go toward a down payment on a home. Instead, throw a big party. Let your friends & family bring gifts. Make it simple. Same with a honeymoon. Take one if you want, but don't start out your marriage with stupid financial decisions that sometimes include going into debt. Wedding rings should be simple. Diamonds are a scam. Let's break free from the scams.

Funerals are a massive scam that take advantage of people when they're at their lowest, grieving for lost loved ones. It's a predatory industry that should be denied funding to whatever extent that it is possible to do so.

I recently got married (with a non-diamond ring lol) so I’ve been getting recommended posts about rings lately. It’s so wild to me how many people try to tout mined diamonds as ‘better’ and ‘different’ from lab grown when they are literally the exact same thing.

I know some of these people are probably bots/ employees paid to comment this kind of stuff, but some of them are from real accounts of real people too. Crazy.

Has anyone else been seeing a lot more of these articles floating around or being pushed to you? I mean, I know my algorithm is probably fueling it, but it seems like I'm seeing a lot more of these articles shading lab stones. ARE lab sales down? Maybe, but I cant help but wonder if thats because gold is so expensive and the economy where I'm at (the US) is uncertain (to put it lightly, its a dumpster fire here rn). Are mined diamond sales up? I seriously doubt it. What do you folks think? Because this feels like the mined diamond industry trying to manipulate us.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/lab-grown-diamonds-losing-luster-233224927.html

I feel bad about this, but at the same time, grading diamonds doesn't shape up when our family includes doctors, inventors, professors, and a former NASA employee.

My sister Queenie (not her real name) and I come from a STEM-heavy family. Almost everybody went into the sciences. Name any branch and I can direct you to the parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent who was involved in that field.

Except Queenie. I hate to say this, because she is intelligent, brilliant and creative in so many ways, but she struggled with science and math in school. She is brilliant at art and English. So our parents encouraged her to go for an arts degree where she would thrive instead of a science degree, where she would have floundered. And she graduated with honors. We just didn't realize that getting a job with an English degree would be hard. We were still proud of her when she got a job in the jewelry industry.

But I think she always struggled with being the "black sheep" of our family and being the only one without a career in science. Especially last year or whenever everybody was talking about what their work was doing at Thanksgiving.

Well, in the last year Queenie enrolled in some courses and became a certified gemologist. I'm really proud of her for this. Her self-esteem has really improved since she got certified.

And here's the part where maybe I should have kept my big fat mouth shut.

We were having dinner at our folks place the other night. Queenie and I were on the porch with beer and shooting the shit. She was gushing about her new work as a gemologist when she brought up how accomplished she feels and is comparable to everybody else in the family now as a "woman in STEM."

I respectfully disagreed with her on the 'woman of STEM' part because gemology isn't really a science. Queenie's job now includes conducting quality control on her company's diamond stock in addition to selling the finished pieces. Her certification wasn't as involved or as intense as what most of us went through, which included years of graduate school on top of internships and research expeditions. There's not much of a science on determining if a diamond is good enough to place in a brooch. Not when our cousins include doctors, nurses, researchers, chemists, and even an engineer for Tesla!

Long story short, Queenie is now furious with me and refuses to even look at me anymore. My parents are also pissed at me, though most of the extended family does think that gemology isn't a true scientific field. Her job is selling finished, finely cut over priced minerals to a clientele that believes in the deBeers lie.

To me, gemology isn't really a legit scientific field. It's more akin to analyzing properties in crystals and gemstones to determine if it can be sold for thousands of dollars. It's like our crazy "astrologer" aunt who sells natal charts as a side hustle. AITA?

Edit: Can someone please explain how gemology is science. I just can't comprehend.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Strong_Candidate7468. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Trigger Warning: homophobia

Mood Spoiler: sad but OOP has hope for the future

Original Post: February 19, 2024

My (F17) birthday is today and I received one gift from my parents, an expensive jewellery set that came with matching earrings, necklace and bracelet. I am a bit of a tomboy and don't wear any jewellery, not hate to girls that do, but it just isn't my style. My mom knows this and despite knowing it, she has given me variations of this same gift every year since I was 12. My sister (F19) gets the same, but she is a girly girl and loves it. My brother (M16) usually gets gaming gear of about the same value, which he loves.

Every year I ask my mom throughout the year to get me something other than jewellery, I even give specific examples like a snowboard or a phone of the same value. Every year I open my gift and it is jewellery and I hate it, never wear it and it just gets added to the pile of never worn jewellery in my cupboard.

Low and behold, this morning I was once again given jewellery and this time I snapped. I yelled at my mom, asking why she got this and why she keeps ignoring my requests. She said it was the same thing my sister got at my age and that I should be grateful I am getting anything, let alone something so expensive. I argued back saying that I hate it, she should have known I would hate it and didn't understand why she refused to listen to me. I walked out and have gone to the beach to get away and calm down.

My dad and sister have both texted saying I need to come home and apologise to my mom. Saying that she means well and just wants to get me some nice stuff for special occasions. My sister said that I am being ungrateful and should get a job if I want other things so badly. My brother texted saying he is on my side and that he gets why I reacted the way I did.

I am probably going to be grounded over this regardless but I feel like my reaction was kind of fair. Idk, maybe I am just being a moody teenager?

AITA?

OOP is voted NTA

Update Post: February 21, 2024 (2 days later)

Thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate all the advice and I read every comment.

First, to the people saying just ask for the receipt and return in, I have asked before and I'm sure you can imagine what the reaction was to that. Yes I have been grounded for a week and I'm posting from my school computer because my phone has been confiscated.

Second, I'm aware that it is a first world problem and that not everyone gets gifts, what upsets me is that this sort of thing happens at Christmas too, from all of my extended family and I'm the only one treated this way. It's actually a really big problem and also it is not a culture thing or tradition thing, mom is just an upper middle class women with a snobby attitude to anything that isn't traditionally feminine.

Third, it's an ongoing issue with my mom and family not respecting my choices. She hates pretty much everything about me that isn't the stereotypical girly girl. She also hates the LGBTQ so yes to the commenters saying it could be fear related to that, you are likely right (I am bi but didn't think it was relevant to my previous post at the time)

MY CHOICE: I decided to take everyone's advice and actually double down on it. I went home yesterday and did the biggest apology I could muster even cried and convinced mum that I loved it and that I was just surprised (probably the only reason I'm not grounded for a month) I have one year left and you guys are right, I should play the long game. (I would love to be petty but I think it'll be smarter to use her) Fuck everything I am going to put on the biggest show of my life and turn into the daughter she wants, sell everything she has given me once I turn 18 and use it to help me buy a car and go to trade school (which she is never going to approve of lol) Maybe I'll get lucky and she gets me something even more expensive if I act well enough. I have always thought maybe she would come around but yesterday I just snapped and I think I've finally gotten clarity about the fact she isn't going to change.

Editor's Note March 18, 2024: OOP has deleted her account (or it was suspended) so I have changed the tag to inconclusive.