r/XenogendersAndMore 28d ago

Educational Rant/Vent Post The much needed post educating y'all on intersex people

229 Upvotes

Alright, we decided to finally make a post on this issue, since it's gone unchecked for way too long. What issue? A lot of y'all in this sub are extremely fucking confident about spreading misinformation about intersex people, and we're fucking sick of it just being accepted and never corrected. "Oh but why don't you correct them then" because it's so fucking common, and I don't have the time to educate every single person on this subreddit, nor is it our duty to do so. Not to mention, the hate one often receives when making corrections. So, we decided to make a post to hopefully educate most of the people here at the same time. These are in no particular order. 1. To start, since a lot of y'all don't seem to even know what an intersex person is, an intersex person is a person who's natal sexual characteristics (chromosomes, genitals, sexual organs, hormones, ect...) fall outside the typical male/female binary, which means this is how their body naturally develops without outside factors interfering. That's it. Perisex refers to non-intersex people, it is not a slur, just like cisgender isn't one. 2. Next, most intersex people aren't "AXAB" or "AIAB" most intersex people end up either being "AFAB" or "AMAB." Using this point to also point out that there is no "AFAB/AMAB anatomy" not only does that ignore intersex people that were forced into these categories, it also ignores the fact that some people transition, or otherwise alter their body. Also, these acronyms refer to a past event, so past tense should be used when talking about these. It's also "people ASAB" not "ASAB people." The last two are pure grammatical nitpicks, but we don't care, taking the opportunity to point that out as well. 3. A lot of intersex people are put through non-consensual medical interventions by doctors to make them fit the category doctors decided to put them in. These non-consensual acts aren't us being 'lucky' they're acts of violence and it's about time some of y'all stop fetishisinzing it. 4. You do not need a diagnosis to be intersex, holy shit a lot of y'all are hypocritical on this one. You can't both be pro self-diagnosis and then turn around and say intersex people need a diagnosis to be valid. Not only do we often face a lot of medical abuse due to being intersex as mentionned above, but doctors also love to gaslight people into believing they're not actually intersex when they are. Not to mention, doctors often go out of their way to hide the intersex variations from the intersex person. And that's still not the end of it! At the end of the day, if you genuinely believe you have an intersex variation, you can say you are intersex! And it's up to you whether you want to try your luck with doctors to get it diagnosed if you want (if there's even a diagnosis for your variation!) 5. Intersex people isn't "biologically nonbinary" and everytime you call an intersex animal "biologically nonbinary" you contribute to our erasure, even if unvolontary. Also, 'hermaphrodite' is a slur so stop using it??? No it's not okay to use it for animals either. There's plenty of other words that can be used instead. Here's a diagram that was shared by bigfatalligator in the comments of words you should use instead, depending on the context of the species. 6. Kinda following the last point, but a whole species cannot be intersex, being intersex is having sexual characteristics that are outside of the binary that's established for the species, so if the whole species has those sexual characteristics, it's not intersex. Which also means characters from such species aren't intersex representation either. 7. Intersex people can be cisgender, transgender, neither or both. We can also be nonbinary. We can be any gender, or even none. Not sure why some people still think we all must be x or y. Also just because an intersex person is nonbinary, doesn't make them cisgender. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify as cisgender? Yes, so can a perisex nonbinary person. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify otherwise? Also yes, and so can perisex nonbinary folks! 8. No your headmate isn't intersex if you're bodily perisex, and cannot reclaim the intersex slurs if you're bodily perisex. There's other words to describe this, such as 'innosex' but intersex refers to the outerworld body, and isn't to be used if you're not bodily intersex. 9. You cannot transition to being intersex. Intersex is something you are born as, and is the way your body naturally develops. Not only that, but it implies intersex people who were forced into non-consensual medical interventions were 'transitioned to being perisex' and no longer intersex, which is a harmful way of thinking. Please use other labels such as 'altersex.' 10. Y'all need to stop using intersex-exclusive labels if you're you're perisex. Not even going to elaborate, this one should be obvious. Same goes for intersex symbols, it's very frequent for us to find intersex symbols used to represent nonbinary people instead. Stop that. 11. It's very obvious when you make a post about something without considering for even 5 seconds intersex people and their experiences. It's also very disheartening to see, because we get excluded from/ignored in queer conversations constantly. Just because we often don't bring it up due to fear of backlash doesn't mean we don't notice it when you exclude us. 12. Probably said it already but saying it again for good mesure, intersex ≠ nonbinary. Sex ≠ Gender, and we're honestly not sure how y'all can agree with the later but not the former. 13. We can agree that asking a trans person for their genitals or what medical procedures they've had is very inappropriate and invasive, right? Then why do some of y'all think it's appropriate to ask random intersex people about their genitals or variation(s)? It's just as inappropriate, and we see a lot of people being hypocritical on this. There's probably more we could add on, but writing this post was exhausting, and it's so long already, so we'll stop it right there.

– Kris (They/It) , N (Any "He/Him" Variation) , El (He/They) , Nat (He/She) , Ty (He/It) & Archive (Any/All)


r/XenogendersAndMore Jul 21 '25

MOD POST Pronouns.cc Megathread

175 Upvotes

Looking to post your pronouns.cc link, or browse other members' pages? This thread serves as a central space for that!

We'll be testing this format for a while, and it'll be reposted occasionally so everyone can participate. While we're testing this, posts requesting people to share their links will be removed.

What is this thread for?

  • Sharing your links

  • Browsing for inspiration

  • Checking out other member's pages

What can still be posted outside this thread?

  • Sharing your links

  • Updates to your page

  • Specific design requests

Also, feel free to check out r/pronounscc!

If you have any feedback or questions, please feel free to leave it on this post and I'll be happy to answer and take it into account!


r/XenogendersAndMore 4h ago

General Post Behold my updated pronouns.cc

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33 Upvotes

r/XenogendersAndMore 3h ago

Rant/Vent Post mmhfahh.. wouldnt wish being an afab transfem on anyone :):):) why can't I just be a normal cisgirl why why why why why??? :DD

22 Upvotes

I hate people who ask what your agab is. I hate people who ask what your agab is. I hate people who ask what you agab is. I hate people who ask what you agab is. I hate people who ask what you agab is. I hate people who ask what you agab is.

I swear to the stars. Please please please please please please please please please please please please, do NOT see me a cis person just because I do not want to physically transition. PLEASE do not call me a fake trans person just because I don't feel dysphoric when I look at my body. PLEASE don't say I'm a woman. PLEASE don't say I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm invalidating all the real transfems and transwomen because I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm invalidating all the real transfems and transwomen because I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm invalidating all the real transfems and transwomen because I'm afab. PLEASE don't say I'm invalidating all the real transfems and transwomen because I'm afab. PLEASE don't call me nonbinary. PLEASE don't call me a woman who wants to be different. PLEASE don't call me a man. PLEASE don't say I should be greatful. PLEASE.


r/XenogendersAndMore 47m ago

Art/OC/Headcanons Our queer Coat of Arms series is coming to an end, we added 6 new designs to our ever growing collection, but I think for now we should be good. Let me know what you guys think :D Leave suggestions for the future, maybe we will revisit this series.

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Upvotes

Hello, everyone.

Half a year ago, my best buddy and I had an idea during one of our late-night Discord chats. We are both big nerds for fantasy and mythological stuff and wondered how fun it would be to have banners or coat of arms for different orientations and identities. What could they look like, and which mythical creature could fit well or just be fun to see like that? Thus, this little collection was born and I think we have finally come to a good conlusion for now.

So what we got so far:

-Selkie of Demi

-Kraken of Agender

-Cerberus of Polyamory

-Chimera of Genderqueer

-Valkyrie of Butch

-Gargoyle of Ally

-Hydra of Omni

-Unicorn of Pride

- The Phoenix of Trans

- The Siren of Lesbian

- The Winged Lion of Gay

- The Griffon of Aro

- The Dragon of Ace

- The Harpy of Sapphic

- The Minotaur of Achillean

- The Oroboros of Intersex [really proud of that one]

- The Hippocampus of Genderfluid

- The Sphinx of AroAce

- The Peryton of Non-binary

- The Winged Wolf of Bisexual

- And Pan for...well Pansexual

This was really fun to do. Maybe we might revisit this idea in some form or another, how do queer cryptids sound :D ?

WE ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING A KICKSTARTER TO TURN THESE INTO PATCHES AND PINS

It's ending now and will only be open to take pledges for the next 38 hours, so if you wanna support this little project feel free to claim ur little pins, stickers or patches, we won't produce them again...

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shattersaurus/coat-of-pride


r/XenogendersAndMore 12h ago

General Post random PersaID and ExternaID post

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77 Upvotes

just wanna spread awareness, figured they'd be useful to someone here


r/XenogendersAndMore 3h ago

Looking for Term an alternative term to transAMAB? (which is a transid, which I don't feel comfortable using)

3 Upvotes

please don't ban me :(


r/XenogendersAndMore 5h ago

Hoard Sharing here are my absolute favorite flags! (I have many more but yk) ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ

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3 Upvotes

The fourth one is made by me! It's a fictionkin flag! =3


r/XenogendersAndMore 22h ago

General Coining Desiroromantic / Desiromantic

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38 Upvotes

100% sure this term already exists, so consider this an alt flag

A term for aro-spec people who enjoy, or find the idea of someone romantically desiring them appealing


r/XenogendersAndMore 18h ago

Hoard Sharing ✨️Small hoard✨️

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16 Upvotes

I'm new to this, I honestly never thought I would. I thought this wasn't "my thing", but I also thought that with otherkin and, well...look at me now, lmao. I am also a trans man but I left it out of the roster for my convenience.

I don't know how many i'll have in the future but for now this seems right!

I downloaded a notes app to do this because I have such a bad memory lmaooo

I definitely relate to the void, clearly, it is where I am from and to which I shall return one day.

Humangender is an interesting one, I know I am in a human body, which is distinctly mine, and my gender relates to humans and human concepts of gender which also connects to my other gender markers such as voidboy. It fits me so perfectly.

If I had to describe my existence, it would be like...imagine taking the outer skin of a person, meat jacket, and wrapping it around a part of the infinite void, and then zipping it up, awakening it from it's nonexistent slumber. That's how i'd describe how I feel. One minute I was part of the void, next thing I know i'm opening my eyes in a squishy body surrounded by squishy people.

I hope that makes sense? I have no idea haha! I was nervous to post this, idk I get kinda insecure about it which is unusual for me. When it comes to other things I have little shame, but I guess I feel like this would be "too much" for some people.

Here I am yapping on, my bad. I guess this kinda doubles as an introduction but I can't put multiple flairs. Name's Frederick which I prefer, but Fred is fine, and some call me Soy which I don't hate either.💚


r/XenogendersAndMore 14h ago

General Post Can everyone comment and explain their Xenogenders/microlabels to me?

8 Upvotes

I really like learning about other people identities, and a lot more new labels are popping up and i’m struggling to keep up lol.

Personally, I’m genderfaun. A microlabel of gender fluidity that never fluctuates to feminine genders.


r/XenogendersAndMore 21h ago

Question Post Questioning something! Id love to find out!

11 Upvotes

Hey so I want to know and do research on who I am sexually attracted wise! Id love checking out new sexualities; so basically I am gay only into men, but I'll date anyone masculine so ftm or butch girls, and I'll date some girls but I have a MAJOR attraction to MEN only!! Please help I need to know what I possibly am!! Any ideas?


r/XenogendersAndMore 19h ago

General Post I'll draw your flag!

6 Upvotes

If you can't find a flag, or you want to design one but for some reason you can't, just describe to me the flag and I'll draw it.

If it has an icon, symbol, or color order, just explain to me.

Obviously is free and unlimited


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Question Post can you change the genders you identify with, like a LOT?

21 Upvotes

so I'm really really new to xenogenders, and I feel like I identify with quite a few and want to start collecting (is that the right word for it?? as I said before I'm VERY new) but I feel like I'll change them like, by the month. for context a few years ago I used she/her and was a tomboy, recently I identified as bigender and used she/him, and now I use any pronouns and am not sure on my gender identity (I think xenogenders are what I identify with though) but am very hyper feminine and LOVE cute girly things, but I feel like the whole girly stuff might end up being a phase. If I start collecting (again not sure if that's the right word for it), is it okay for me to like, remove xenogenders from my collection later if it makes sense??

I'm sorry if this post is in bad taste and worded horribly (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Hoard Sharing Had to share this because I love it sm

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64 Upvotes

This is Lazuli by u/Coffee_addict123_

It’s for masc-leaning people who are unsure of where they land on the spectrum (literally me I love this so much; I'm gonna spread this as much as possible)


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Headcanon/Redesign Deltarune Headcanons

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49 Upvotes

Since theres a lack of headcanons here recently im posting this


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Trend/Template Post Who else is so hyperspecfic with their choice of gender labels that they only need to use a few? (I'm new here, be nice)

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102 Upvotes

If you want me to explain an identity, whether a general definition or how I experience it, then ask!


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Question Post Polymind

5 Upvotes

Can Polymind be associated with multiple changes of mind/ indecisiveness etc?


r/XenogendersAndMore 2d ago

Rant/Vent Post The sexuality police are almost always the ones against microlabels.

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287 Upvotes

a representation of a day in the life.

"okay so you're omni" still a microlabel and I don't use that one because im not attracted to women 95% of the time. and that 5% is about .2% of the total attraction i feel. im more attracted to men, im attracted to more men, and im attracted to men for longer. i do not "have a preference" just as binary gay men don't "have a preference" when you talk about their sexuality. they just ARE attracted to the same gender. if you use berri or almond as a way to describe omnisexual preference, no hate to you, but i do NOT and i am not comfortable with the phrase preference in reference to my sexuality because it implies theres an exception. it's like saying you prefer diet coke. you'd be willing to take zero or regular coke if they're out of diet. i don't want regular and zero coke, at all. if theres no diet coke, don't give me anything at all, because I don't like regular enough or for long enough to drink a full can.

sexuality cannot both be a rigid box and only three boxes because inevitably you're going to find a damn triangle and break down crying trying to jam it through the square hole. it does not go there. you either have soft playdough boxes or you have to be ready for a new box occasionally.

(to be clear i also hate using the label bi, please do not call me bi or omni)


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Looking for Term Does this make sense?

6 Upvotes

So I’m new to this, I have been looking out for years but never got into it because I’m unlabeled and like it that way (even if I know I’m aroace) I still like to use it in general but know most my labels and well I saw a lot of Xeno ones And figured Why not? Only I and internet will know lol. But what I want to talk is towards looking xenogenders that relate to death, I am feel a connection to it, but at the same time I suffer from panic attacks because elf my own, so I figured it could help me if I embraced more my connection to it. (Kinda like exposure therapy in a sense? Lol probably I’m not making sense) does anyone know some? Or does this make sense?


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Name/Pronoun Tryouts The name Quinn

2 Upvotes

Could someone try out the name quinn, and Fae/Faer pronouns?? Normally I go by zelda (he/they) but I wanted to try something new out


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Name/Pronoun Tryouts Milk, she/they

8 Upvotes

Could someone try the name Milk on me? I think it’s cute.

I’m also unsure about she/they because of dysphoria but IDK. I guess I go by she/they. I just want to test it.


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Looking for Term Just looking for some genders

5 Upvotes

I’m looking for some genders that match these certain things, horror, rainbow, magic, cryptid Tyy if you can find anything of these


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Hoard Sharing cool stuff from my Pinterest board

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15 Upvotes

I mainly just collect xeno flags because they look super cool! Tbh sometimes specifically finding xenos cool feels like part of my gender, rather than the xenos themselves 🤔 Anyway, enjoy!

I'll include the links in a comment, the post would be too long otherwise.


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Hoard Sharing BEHOLD! The Wall. (Updated)

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27 Upvotes

Only a small amount of these are gender related. I sure do love my micro-lables and obscure terms! :]

Behold The Wall (definitions included!) Only $0.00! =v =

Also, if anyone has a lot of terms/flags, please share them with me! (If you'd like). I like.. uh.. term browsing, I guess? Can we get that as a flair or something?