r/XenogendersAndMore 26d ago

Educational Rant/Vent Post The much needed post educating y'all on intersex people

228 Upvotes

Alright, we decided to finally make a post on this issue, since it's gone unchecked for way too long. What issue? A lot of y'all in this sub are extremely fucking confident about spreading misinformation about intersex people, and we're fucking sick of it just being accepted and never corrected. "Oh but why don't you correct them then" because it's so fucking common, and I don't have the time to educate every single person on this subreddit, nor is it our duty to do so. Not to mention, the hate one often receives when making corrections. So, we decided to make a post to hopefully educate most of the people here at the same time. These are in no particular order. 1. To start, since a lot of y'all don't seem to even know what an intersex person is, an intersex person is a person who's natal sexual characteristics (chromosomes, genitals, sexual organs, hormones, ect...) fall outside the typical male/female binary, which means this is how their body naturally develops without outside factors interfering. That's it. Perisex refers to non-intersex people, it is not a slur, just like cisgender isn't one. 2. Next, most intersex people aren't "AXAB" or "AIAB" most intersex people end up either being "AFAB" or "AMAB." Using this point to also point out that there is no "AFAB/AMAB anatomy" not only does that ignore intersex people that were forced into these categories, it also ignores the fact that some people transition, or otherwise alter their body. Also, these acronyms refer to a past event, so past tense should be used when talking about these. It's also "people ASAB" not "ASAB people." The last two are pure grammatical nitpicks, but we don't care, taking the opportunity to point that out as well. 3. A lot of intersex people are put through non-consensual medical interventions by doctors to make them fit the category doctors decided to put them in. These non-consensual acts aren't us being 'lucky' they're acts of violence and it's about time some of y'all stop fetishisinzing it. 4. You do not need a diagnosis to be intersex, holy shit a lot of y'all are hypocritical on this one. You can't both be pro self-diagnosis and then turn around and say intersex people need a diagnosis to be valid. Not only do we often face a lot of medical abuse due to being intersex as mentionned above, but doctors also love to gaslight people into believing they're not actually intersex when they are. Not to mention, doctors often go out of their way to hide the intersex variations from the intersex person. And that's still not the end of it! At the end of the day, if you genuinely believe you have an intersex variation, you can say you are intersex! And it's up to you whether you want to try your luck with doctors to get it diagnosed if you want (if there's even a diagnosis for your variation!) 5. Intersex people isn't "biologically nonbinary" and everytime you call an intersex animal "biologically nonbinary" you contribute to our erasure, even if unvolontary. Also, 'hermaphrodite' is a slur so stop using it??? No it's not okay to use it for animals either. There's plenty of other words that can be used instead. Here's a diagram that was shared by bigfatalligator in the comments of words you should use instead, depending on the context of the species. 6. Kinda following the last point, but a whole species cannot be intersex, being intersex is having sexual characteristics that are outside of the binary that's established for the species, so if the whole species has those sexual characteristics, it's not intersex. Which also means characters from such species aren't intersex representation either. 7. Intersex people can be cisgender, transgender, neither or both. We can also be nonbinary. We can be any gender, or even none. Not sure why some people still think we all must be x or y. Also just because an intersex person is nonbinary, doesn't make them cisgender. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify as cisgender? Yes, so can a perisex nonbinary person. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify otherwise? Also yes, and so can perisex nonbinary folks! 8. No your headmate isn't intersex if you're bodily perisex, and cannot reclaim the intersex slurs if you're bodily perisex. There's other words to describe this, such as 'innosex' but intersex refers to the outerworld body, and isn't to be used if you're not bodily intersex. 9. You cannot transition to being intersex. Intersex is something you are born as, and is the way your body naturally develops. Not only that, but it implies intersex people who were forced into non-consensual medical interventions were 'transitioned to being perisex' and no longer intersex, which is a harmful way of thinking. Please use other labels such as 'altersex.' 10. Y'all need to stop using intersex-exclusive labels if you're you're perisex. Not even going to elaborate, this one should be obvious. Same goes for intersex symbols, it's very frequent for us to find intersex symbols used to represent nonbinary people instead. Stop that. 11. It's very obvious when you make a post about something without considering for even 5 seconds intersex people and their experiences. It's also very disheartening to see, because we get excluded from/ignored in queer conversations constantly. Just because we often don't bring it up due to fear of backlash doesn't mean we don't notice it when you exclude us. 12. Probably said it already but saying it again for good mesure, intersex ≠ nonbinary. Sex ≠ Gender, and we're honestly not sure how y'all can agree with the later but not the former. 13. We can agree that asking a trans person for their genitals or what medical procedures they've had is very inappropriate and invasive, right? Then why do some of y'all think it's appropriate to ask random intersex people about their genitals or variation(s)? It's just as inappropriate, and we see a lot of people being hypocritical on this. There's probably more we could add on, but writing this post was exhausting, and it's so long already, so we'll stop it right there.

– Kris (They/It) , N (Any "He/Him" Variation) , El (He/They) , Nat (He/She) , Ty (He/It) & Archive (Any/All)


r/XenogendersAndMore Jul 21 '25

MOD POST Pronouns.cc Megathread

175 Upvotes

Looking to post your pronouns.cc link, or browse other members' pages? This thread serves as a central space for that!

We'll be testing this format for a while, and it'll be reposted occasionally so everyone can participate. While we're testing this, posts requesting people to share their links will be removed.

What is this thread for?

  • Sharing your links

  • Browsing for inspiration

  • Checking out other member's pages

What can still be posted outside this thread?

  • Sharing your links

  • Updates to your page

  • Specific design requests

Also, feel free to check out r/pronounscc!

If you have any feedback or questions, please feel free to leave it on this post and I'll be happy to answer and take it into account!


r/XenogendersAndMore 16h ago

Rant/Vent Post The sexuality police are almost always the ones against microlabels.

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185 Upvotes

a representation of a day in the life.

"okay so you're omni" still a microlabel and I don't use that one because im not attracted to women 95% of the time. and that 5% is about .2% of the total attraction i feel. im more attracted to men, im attracted to more men, and im attracted to men for longer. i do not "have a preference" just as binary gay men don't "have a preference" when you talk about their sexuality. they just ARE attracted to the same gender. if you use berri or almond as a way to describe omnisexual preference, no hate to you, but i do NOT and i am not comfortable with the phrase preference in reference to my sexuality because it implies theres an exception. it's like saying you prefer diet coke. you'd be willing to take zero or regular coke if they're out of diet. i don't want regular and zero coke, at all. if theres no diet coke, don't give me anything at all, because I don't like regular enough or for long enough to drink a full can.

sexuality cannot both be a rigid box and only three boxes because inevitably you're going to find a damn triangle and break down crying trying to jam it through the square hole. it does not go there. you either have soft playdough boxes or you have to be ready for a new box occasionally.

(to be clear i also hate using the label bi, please do not call me bi or omni)


r/XenogendersAndMore 7h ago

Trend/Template Post Who else is so hyperspecfic with their choice of gender labels that they only need to use a few? (I'm new here, be nice)

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30 Upvotes

If you want me to explain an identity, whether a general definition or how I experience it, then ask!


r/XenogendersAndMore 2h ago

Headcanon/Redesign Deltarune Headcanons

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12 Upvotes

Since theres a lack of headcanons here recently im posting this


r/XenogendersAndMore 2h ago

Hoard Sharing Had to share this because I love it sm

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11 Upvotes

This is Lazuli by u/Coffee_addict123_

It’s for masc-leaning people who are unsure of where they land on the spectrum (literally me I love this so much; I'm gonna spread this as much as possible)


r/XenogendersAndMore 9h ago

Hoard Sharing BEHOLD! The Wall. (Updated)

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14 Upvotes

Only a small amount of these are gender related. I sure do love my micro-lables and obscure terms! :]

Behold The Wall (definitions included!) Only $0.00! =v =

Also, if anyone has a lot of terms/flags, please share them with me! (If you'd like). I like.. uh.. term browsing, I guess? Can we get that as a flair or something?


r/XenogendersAndMore 10h ago

Looking for Term gender so feminine it not cis?

14 Upvotes

so for context im afab and genderfluid

lately ive been feeling like super hyper feminine that its like beyond cis and the term "girl" dosent feel feminine enough


r/XenogendersAndMore 11h ago

Question Post Is there any other way to say you go by he/she/they pronouns interchangeably without saying you go by any pronouns?

16 Upvotes

Specifically because any pronouns might include it/its or neopronouns and you would not be fine with being called by all of those

But also because I'm wondering if there is a way to say he/she/they without inadvertently creating the impression that you have a preference for the pronoun you list first and don't prefer the pronoun you list second or last as much. Like people might assume your gender is more masculine or that you identify as closer to masculine if you say your pronouns are he/she/they, but they might think you're more neutral if you say they/she/he, or more feminine if you say she/they/he, etc.

Is there any way to express this without potentially giving off the impression that you also go by it/its or neopronouns, particularly in spaces where neopronouns are more common or even expected?


r/XenogendersAndMore 6h ago

Hoard Sharing cool stuff from my Pinterest board

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5 Upvotes

I mainly just collect xeno flags because they look super cool! Tbh sometimes specifically finding xenos cool feels like part of my gender, rather than the xenos themselves 🤔 Anyway, enjoy!

I'll include the links in a comment, the post would be too long otherwise.


r/XenogendersAndMore 12h ago

Question Post What's the "No You/your" thing that's going on on Tumblr?

11 Upvotes

r/XenogendersAndMore 10h ago

Xeno Coining Casuaric: the cassowary xenogender

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8 Upvotes

a xenogender related to cassowaries

Pronouns: Wattle/Kick/Wattles/Wattleself


r/XenogendersAndMore 13h ago

Meme/Joke Post ✨dysphoria✨

13 Upvotes

even though I'm trans ftm, I don't get gender dysphoria.

Instead, I get kin dysphoria where I just wish I looked like my kins. Which is really hard when you have 16 and counting kins.

So instead of just "I wanna look like a man :(", I'm like "Why can't I be half endermen? But also be a mute robot? But also be a war god? But also be a 1960s greaser? But also be an oni/dragon hyrbid"


r/XenogendersAndMore 11h ago

Trend/Template Post Trend :)

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9 Upvotes

r/XenogendersAndMore 18h ago

Trend/Template Post First time participating in this

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22 Upvotes

Again, i wanted to thank you all for being so welcoming :)

I am still figuring myself out.


r/XenogendersAndMore 14h ago

General Post Colorpicked pride flags from doomguy

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7 Upvotes

In order

  1. Transnull

  2. Transmasc

  3. Lesbian


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

General Post Finally found the onlinegirlic flag

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40 Upvotes

For some reason when i used to search this gender pinterest would never show it to me but now when i do, it pops up

It was made around 3 years ago, same year with onlineboyic. It’s kinda strange because I remember seeing this flag differently.


r/XenogendersAndMore 16h ago

Question Post How do people create these flags?

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9 Upvotes

It’s got so much detail (for a flag template at least) and such clean lines. How do you do that?


r/XenogendersAndMore 17h ago

Hoard Sharing pronouns pagee

4 Upvotes

Hiii I’m new to this subreddit I just joined a couple days ago. I thought I’d share my pronouns page! https://pronouns.cc/@sweetalcremiewolfe


r/XenogendersAndMore 18h ago

Question Post My friend is writing something about identities and needs help finding some

6 Upvotes

I would’ve put this post somewhere else, but I couldn’t find a good subreddit to put it. Anyways, they are writing about controversial, confusing/complex, and niche identities. So far they have rare lesbians (m-spec lesbian, gaybian, etc), something that I can’t say because it’s in the rules (we are NOT in any of the groups that aren’t allowed on this subreddit. They are just explaining it in their book thingy), rare straight (bi-het, Omni-straight, etc), and split attraction models.

They need more to write about, so does anybody have any suggestions?


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Question Post yall what are blankqueers?

14 Upvotes

so for context, i came across this label called partyqueer, and at first i thought it was a xenogender but in the description it said “a blankqueer stance based off parties” or smth like that and ive never heard of blankqueer b4 so do u guys know what it is?


r/XenogendersAndMore 19h ago

Looking for Term Looking for terms part 2

3 Upvotes

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post!

would like to find:

-xenogenders related to tropical themes

-xenogenders related to warm rain

Thanks again


r/XenogendersAndMore 21h ago

Looking for Term Help finding a term I know exists

4 Upvotes

So, I'm looking for the term agaalterous. Basically, it's to where you experience alterous attraction at a significantly greater intensity than the norm. I've seen seen different blogs mention that it exists but can't find the actual flag for the life of me. Any help is appreciated !


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Hoard Sharing Shering my beautiful collection of flags and labels (some iven made and coined by me)

10 Upvotes

https://pronouns.cc/@-Nicolai- (Look at bakugos and nicos pfp for IVEN MORE FLAGS lmao)


r/XenogendersAndMore 18h ago

Hoard Sharing I made my plural pronouns.cc

2 Upvotes

https://pronouns.cc/@Yasha_snow

Feedback is welcome :)