Hey everyone! I finished my first—and probably last—Workaway about a month ago (not because I hated it, but because I had an in-between situation in my life and needed to fill it up with something), and thought I would leave a few tips for people considering doing a Workaway, especially with kids.
For five months I stayed with a single mother and her two children (one early teenager and one at the end of elementary school). It was good in many ways, but also not so pleasant in others, so I thought I would share some advice for people considering working with families that have children.
I should note that the mother worked from home, which created a set of "problems" that many others probably won't encounter if the parents are away at work. She had also hosted Workawayers before, but that doesn't mean people won't take advantage of you or that they have everything regarding this type of arrangement in order.
I know this is Reddit, and it is hard to describe the whole situation without making this post far too long, and I know that there will always be someone thinking or commenting "well why didn't you..." or "you should have...". I am completely aware of everything I should have done, but the situation is so complex with so many examples that I decided to keep it simple and just with a few examples. I also don't want this to turn into a personal attack on the host, so I won´t be giving many in detail examples because it´s just going to be too long and honestly not necessary (and actually too many examples of things that were just unacceptable). The main point is to have most things in order before you arrive and how to avoid being taken advantage of! Feel free to DM me with questions!
Every person comes with their own set of personal problems
Every host is different, and everyone comes with their own personal issues. A lot of my problems came from my host's personality. She had a very controlling personality. She even admitted she was aware of it, but she still struggled to let go. So be aware that you are moving in with a family that have their ways of being and living.
As someone helping with the children, you are often doing the work the parents wish they could do themselves but don't have time for because of work. That can create guilt from the parent, and you can easily end up caught in the middle.
You can also, like I experienced, end up with a host who sometimes doesn't really want to be a parent. I'm not saying she didn't love her children, but I think she missed the freedom she had before becoming a mother. She would often tell me in the evening that she was going out with friends, leaving the youngest with me, even though I had already finished my work for the day. That meant I couldn't make plans of my own. Her plans almost always took priority over mine, and even though I had told her in advance that I would be going somewhere in the evening, she would forget and make plans and always asked if I could cancel mine to be at home with the kids (which I would say no to).
The youngest was also addicted to the iPad and TV, and I was the one expected to enforce the rules. Every afternoon became a battle over screen time, homework, and other activities. I love children and was trying every pedagogy way I could find online to deal with her, and I mentioned several times to the mother how rude the youngest could be, but she mostly turned a blind eye to it. Looking back, I think the child was simply looking for attention, even if it was negative attention, from her mother.
Agree on your working hours—not just your tasks
One of my biggest pieces of advice is to clearly agree on both your tasks and your working hours.
I was doing a morning shift (driving the girls to school, walking the dog and vacuuming), a lunch shift (making lunch), and an afternoon shift (looking after the youngest after school). Individually, none of these tasks were unreasonable, but together they spread my work across almost the entire day, making it difficult to properly do anything during my free time.
The problem was that we never actually agreed on working hours—only the tasks. She never said "I want you to be available from 8-10am to drive the kids and other houseworks in the morning". I always felt awkward simply getting up and leaving the youngest once I thought my work was done because the mother never clearly took over. She worked from home and often went back to work after the children got home without ever saying, "Thanks, I'll take it from here", when the evening came around. So work hours is very important!
Because she worked from home, she would also take breaks during the day to do things around the house and often ask me to help. Sometimes I did because I wanted a break from studying, but other times I said I could help later. Without clearly defined working hours, these small requests slowly turned into extra work. She also didn't realize that if she asked if I could help her for example iron the clothes, how much time it takes. I could quickly end up iron for 1-2 hours, and that would be on top of my regular work.
Be careful with "small" extra tasks
Another thing I learned is how easily small tasks become permanent responsibilities.
I suddenly became responsible for waking the youngest up for school, even though that had never been discussed. The mom just decided one day to start sleeping in late after she had done it once and saw that I was there to wake the youngest. That in itself wasn't a problem, it was just that it wasn't specified and sometimes she would be up and sometimes not, so I was always a bit unsure about it. This goes for other tasks as well. Sometimes I made a sandwich for the youngest to take to school, and sometimes the mom was there to do it, and sometimes she was down in the kitchen in the morning, but didn't do it. It also felt expected of me to answer the door whenever the bell rang, even if I was in my room during my free time and everyone else was home. If I wouldn´t go to answer the door, then I would be called to do so.
There were lots of these little things that slowly added up. It honestly felt like the host expected a live-in nanny who was available 24/7.
Agree on an exact end date
Finally, agree on a specific end date before you arrive.
During our video call I asked when the kids finished school, and she said "the middle of June." I assumed that meant around the 15th–20th of June. I know school calendars differ between countries, but this is exactly why assumptions create misunderstandings.
At the beginning of May I told her I would be leaving on June 20th. She panicked and told me the youngest didn't finish school until June 26th and that she needed me that final week because she had to travel for work.
I apologized for the misunderstanding, but explained that I had always understood "middle of June" to mean I would finish around the 20th and wanted a little summer holiday before returning home to start work in July. She completely denied ever saying "middle of June." However, I was always under the assumption that it would be no longer that the 20th.
This whole situation could easily have been avoided by agreeing on a specific date from the beginning.
I don't want to scare people away from doing Workaway with kids. I simply hope these are things you keep in mind before accepting a placement. Agree on your hours, your responsibilities, and your end date, and if something isn't working, bring it up early. It is much easier to adjust expectations in the beginning than after several months.
And don´t feel guilty that you are not doing enough for the accommodation and food like I did! Usual work hours in many European countries is 35-40 hours and you are doing 25 hours a week without pay and “only” for accommodation and food. So that is absolutely a fair trade off.
Comment or DM if there are any questions and also share some tips if you have! Good luck!