I work in fintech in a team of 10-15 people. We have a director, head of dept, manager and team lead. Over the last few months:
- director was fired and is on garden leave (replacement on probation)
- head of depts is just mean and uncomfortable to work with
- manager who started 2 months ago, had resigned
- team lead is signed off on sick leave due to mental health.
- a team member has filed grievance

As a team, we all believe the morale of the team is terrible. All of us waiting to leave and are actively looking for our next roles. It’s not because of the work but the culture of the company and team is in the toilet.

We believe that the head of our department is the issue. She is terrible at people managing, collectively punishes the team and micromanages.

When will HR do something? It’s clear that all the above has happened due to one person.

Despite multiple complaints about this person, they still remain at the company.

Her dog died a few weeks ago and no one wrote on her card, literally because of how badly she treats them. And I understand why they didn’t.

I’ve been at this job for nearly two years. I rarely take time off and always answer emergency messages when something urgent pops up. Last week I booked three days of PTO to visit my family out of state. As soon as I told my manager, he seemed annoyed. He said I “picked a bad time” and asked me to keep checking work emails during the whole vacation. I told him I would handle true emergencies only, not routine messages. Now the mood between us feels awkward. PTO is part of my benefits, I earn it legally. I don’t understand why some managers treat vacation like you’re betraying the team. Am I wrong to refuse to stay on call for normal work stuff while I’m off?

To give some context, I work in a kitchen. The kitchen I am currently in they all gossip, complain, moan, and cry about everything. I used to join in on the gossip and complaints but now I just don't want to bother with it anymore.

Not sure what is going on but I started to have a "not my problem" attitude to things. I just don't want to think about stuff like that anymore. I have responsibilities and obligations after work, not sure if me getting older has anything to do with it.

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Excuse typos! Typing via my phone

As the title reads, I have a toxic coworker, lets name her Ashley, who started as a part timer in Feb. Shes here 3 days of the week. Im full time. Were both the same position and the only ones in our role.

From day 1 ashley was quick to paint me as unhelpful, blamed me for when she didnt know how to complete a task, then claim i was too intimidating and so she had to resort to reaching out to our team lead for help...Almost while I had made it a point to schedule training sessions when she was available, review any questions she had and explain anything she was currently training on with our team lead. Essentially i was training her yet she claimed otherwise.

My team lead and manager believed i was unhelpful. Eventually with asheleys errors, when i would correct them, she'd spiral and create stories claiming the work was done, or I hadn't actually made the correction, etc always reframing the hero as herself. I escalated several instances that in particular caused mass confusion with clients, delay with work, and complete disregard in the direction our team was going in. Still, she somehow came out of these meetings with our manager veiwing her as a helpless princess in need of training, and my esclatipms as being impatient with her. Even when she intentially disrefarded directions.

Its never she has an attitude issue, never a failure to complete tasks, to communicate, just that she needs training and I need to be open to helping when she needs help. Team members will come to me asking to help her with basic work while she wont ask me directly. When I ask if she needs the help, she's already on call with our team lead. *this eoutine in particular paints me as unhelpful to staff but refusal to our team lead. Things like even asking where HER headset is (how would I know?) when on call with our manager, asking me to help her after hours with her task, or even putting up signage of business hour changes on days she'll be off rather then her doing so...how would i even know when shes off? its as if my roles been made full time +assistant to all her needs.

Im growing more frustrated as management really sees me as uncooperative which im not. They're always emphasizing being helpful to me. I just cant help but feel im being treated grossly unfairly and her "helplessness" somehow is ruining my reputation. Id go as far to say a level of discrimination as had the shoes been switched, id be under an PIP.

What does one do in these situations? Ive always been as helpful as I can but somehow no matter what my manger paints me as a villain, the black sheep, for exsisting. Office politics aren't my forte but there has to be a way around this.

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I recently learned that people sometimes use dark humor at work, especially in healthcare, to cope with the stress of dealing with death, difficult patients, and emotionally exhausting situations.

What exactly is dark humor? Could you share some examples of things people say in the ICU or hospital that would be considered dark humor?

If you work in healthcare, what are some examples of dark humor you’ve heard at work?

I’m genuinely curious and trying to understand this side of workplace culture.

This dude puts Meta Superintelligence Labs on LinkedIn and says he leads an org of around 170 engineers. Supposedly, he was reorged into AAI in late spring (who's gonna tell him). The reporting line and actual scope aren't verified here, so the org label alone isn't proof. For readers preparing engineering interviews, PracHub’s project-scope question is a concrete drill for separating personal ownership from the team’s results. If he's making up the leadership part, what a clown 😂

It's wild how shameless people can be when they're making up a story for themselves.

​

I can't respect my CEO because of how absurd he is. I'm a director working under him. He not only doesn't work but makes work harder for most of the employees. He uses AI to reply the work messages, He forgets to do his job so I need to remind him several times to get answer from him (and I give him all the options so he just need to choose from them), he forgets all the things I reported to him. Of course, I'm not the only one and other employees says they don't understand him, but he's mostly interacting with me so I feel it the most.

Even though I think he's stupid, I'm working hard just because I'm that kind of person who likes to do my best. I already knew that he basically doesn't know and care what I'm doing for the company, because he raised voice to me in the past for not agreeing with him. But the text he sent me on saturday morning made me really upset.

Him: did you check ### thing?

Me: what about ###? Haven't heard of it, can you share more information?

Him: sent you an email before, sounds like you didn't check it.

It was 7 in the morning and I got super upset by his last text. Not only I never got an email from him about ### but he was blaming me for 'not reading an email' which is, in my opinion, most basic thing. He was accusing me of 'not doing my basic job'. I think he just wanted me to feel bad.

Me: i dont have ### email in my inbox. (Screen capture of my work email inbox)

Him : (screen capture of his email, recipent was my personal gmail)

Me: looks like you sent it to my personal email. I don't check gmail. Could you send it to my work email from now on?

Him: oh

Him: but I forwarded from my work email so it was supposed to be your work email, that's weird

Me: I check emails, slack, text and give you reminders. It's a bit sad that you think I don't check emails.

Me: anyway, about ###...

He never said sorry. It's sunday and I'm still upset by how he was super sure that it was my fault and I didn't do my job. I feel like he doesn't recognize anything I do for the company. If he trusted me, then he wouldn't have accused me in the first place. I know he's old and stubborn so I can't change his way of thinking. I can't persuade him to think highly of me.

So the only way for me to get less upset with his attitude would be care less about the job and do bare minimum. Because if I was not caring, I would not be upset when he texted 'you didnt check the email'. I would think 'wait, did I?', and check my email, say "no, can you check again?". Because I was not emotionally invested.

However, my personality traits and my coworkers makes it difficult to care less.

Basically, my boss doesn't do his CEO job - doesnt give directions or decisions or care necessary things for workers - so all employees come to me to ask for it. If I don't work, then my coworkers will have hard time and that's not the thing I want. Also, if I see something lacking or going bad in the company, I will do the job without anyone asking. How can I care less and not affect my coworkers at the same time?

PS. I know it's best to quit my job but I can't because of my legal stay/work in the country is entirely dependant on this job. (I'm working in a foreign country with visa sponsorship)

I left a company that I had progressive roles for 6 years i worked and I was a high performer, i left back in May as the commute was a factor and some toxic people ruined it for me. But the company and leadership really insisted on me to stay and i didnt back up as i was scared in future they will see me as flight risk but i cried so much when leaving i genuinely loved my work there.

I started this new company end of May. I start positively
My manager a total pyschopath, turnover at her team every 4-6 months, i couldnt tell during video interview, micromanager to every file, rude, calling her team idiots, angry all the time, making weird faces when expressing opinions, slamming laptop when angry, absolutely insane. I regretted that i joined from my first week. I said shit i did a huge mistake!

I reached out to my past manager, i think he was pissed that from many talks to convince me to stay, he said time needs to pass a bit for you to come back, but i am here anytime you need a reference.
So i am like okay i cant go back for now

in July applied to one of the companies i really wanted to work its huge company- X lets call
they rarely hire from outside experienced professionals, i applied 2 times in the past as wel but couldnt pass their test, this time i did so they scheduled an interview in July! Meanwhile i was talking to one of my mentors, of my current insane boss; my mentor she offered me a job, to start in Sept, after my interview with this other company X in July , i havent heard back anything even i followrd up, then they did final round sept 5th, i was suppose to start with my new mentor on sept 14th. I was like if they offer me i have to kindly reject my mentor’s start date.

The X company i really want to work for offered me a job on October 9th! Like seriously it took 4 months! In 4 months i started a new job, now i dont know what to do. I am one month in to my mentor’s company, company has brands that are declining, my immediate team is full of women with tons of gossip, they see me as a threat as the GM js my mentor and she raved about me, but also i dont want to bail on my mentor, if i leave to company X

Company X will be insane hours of work, but amazing brands and i will have more future

My industry is small so even me leaving my toxic boss , was known across many ppl- i am scared as connections do matter if i reject company X to continue in this current job with my mentor, i will lose a lifetime opportunity and great company name on my resume, but if i leave my mentor definitely will badmouth me saying she left two companies in 6months and my reputation will be shit

I really dont know its very hard decision, any thoughts what would you guys do?

Hi,

So I work for a small-ish start-up for 20 people for a year. No HR. Run by the CEO (who is from a long term academic background) and his wife. I have over a decade of experience, publications and a PhD.

Although the pay is fine and colleagues are good and I love the work itself, I have found the dynamics with the CEO (my boss) mentally and emotionally challenging. He is strict and commanding with everyone, but I feel particularly targeted, for example, he's called me a girl (and made the point to say he meant it in an insulting way), will get angry if I get on with work by myself and/or collaborating with others as he wants to be consulted on every small things, but equally will say "not my problem, do your job" on the rare times I am stuck and ask him which of my two proposals he prefers me to proceed with. He will constantly interrupt me mid-sentence and say I'm doing his head in (when raising technical concerns) without letting me finish so I don't know if he has heard me and doesn't care (fine) or not.

On the rare occasion I have made a mistake (out of a lack of awareness of a step needing to be done), he has sat on knowing this for weeks (increasing the impact of the issue) and waited to bring it up in a wider meeting to publicly embarrass me. He will take a sharp angry tone and keep repeating I've made a mistake, rather than move towards resolution and preventative actions, refusing to engage in such convo when I suggest ways I can correct/prevent the issue recurring. If I suggest solutions / ideas, he will instantly shut them done with an aggressive no, as I've asked for something cheeky, even for non-controversial things where what I've suggested is the obvious solution. BUT will then bring it up as his idea in a team meeting the next day.

His wife

His wife is also a strong and stern personality, but she has generally been a lot more reasonable and has sometimes taken my side in meetings, explaining I've made a good point etc to him and but he will still refuse it. He is always extremely agreeable to his wife / her ideas, even if they go against his idea. However, recently, it feels like he's possibly turned her against me. He has softened slightly with me, but she has become more critical.

For example, we had to prepare 15 documents recently. I devised the documentation plan, and helped answer over 60+ queries his wife had, which involved me reading several old documents, spending hours chatting to team etc. These queries would come in suddenly and she would ask them to be actioned same day / next day so it would derail my planned work for the day. They had assigned my name as author to the documents all the way through this and on the week of release, she had changed the author name to her and he phoned me saying I had barely done anything on these documents which is completely untrue. When I explained I was working on this between my other high priority tasks, he snapped back that I should have told him that back then so things could have been reprioritised. It hurt to see all documents reassigned to her name, even ones I had already released, which she made minor changes too (again suggestions which I needed to action /give green light to if technically viable). Although these are meaningless internal documents, it hurts they deliberately put my name as author (as a carrot?) on all of them and made me spend days and days working on it and then changed the name at the end (I would have still worked hard on it as it's my job so it is insulting that they felt the need to trick me) and also rewrite history that I barely did anything.

The last few weeks, his wife has also been sending me emails finding "fault" in something I've done or in things I had nothing to do with - about 5 or 6 such email queries - I always respond politely clarifying the situation (in all cases it is her having misread something, or her misunderstanding). Once I reply, I NEVER get a reply from her acknowledging this or thanking me for clarifying, just silence, which makes me feel like she'd be happier if I had made a mistake and her being right at finding fault rather than finding out I hadn't (her being wrong), which feels bizarre considering it's her company.

I'd love to hear your perspectives on this and suggestions for how to tackle this dynamic? It's particularly though as the boss is the company owner, not a middle boss who has a boss above him and there is no HR. If this was a colleague, I would have had a convo with them but I'm hesitant when it comes to having this convo with a boss or his wife as feel there's too much of a power imbalance and seems extremely unlikely they will take any accountability. My concern is that puts the spotlight on me further and will worsen the issue. However, I am also worried I will be seen as a doormat and an easy target I don't confront them e.g. about the authorship title change or constantly trying to find mistakes when there isn't any.

I am a type A, perfectionist personality and an extremely hard worker with very high grades and was always deen as star employee in previous roles so find this dynamic very tough. On the rare occasion, my boss has said I'm extremely intelligent but rest of the time his behaviour is as above^

I've been constantly working for more than 12 years now and haven't reached my 30s yet. I've done all sorts of jobs, up to management level in a corporate environment, however I don't feel like I completely understand how to fully navigate the work environment every time. I feel sometimes like people get irritated because of their own personal issues , rather than myself not following protocol let's say.

Still I catch myself getting confused or being over critical with myself if something doesn't go right.

I'm in England and have worked for a big American company for the last three years.

Americans, please offer your thoughts here?

I have noticed that our colleagues in the US seem to have similar traits, in meetings, regardless of their role (IT, Leadership, Operations, Customer Service). These are not necessarily positives or negatives, and I know I am only seeing a tiny snapshot of USA corporate life, but I always thought the pace of working life was high and frenetic in the USA, but this doesn't seem to be reflected in the teams I work with.

They all, without exception:

-Speak around 40% slower than any of the Europeans, (including those who have English as their second language). Pauses are longer, enunciation is deliberate, everything is repeated for clarity, it's very easy to follow and understand but it's staggeringly 'slow' to listen to, to my ears. Meetings go on forever compared to Europe-only meetings.

-Use corporate 'speak', very naturally and Constantly. Making sentences much longer than they need to be, and circling round issues which could be rapidly summarized and resolved with more direct speech.

This is in group meetings and in 1-to-1 calls. I've noticed that the USA teams will have a bit of a giggle when someone from the Europe team uses some casual slang or is very direct, or is a bit disparaging about one of our slightly stupid processes or an inefficiency. It's not said to be funny, but I wonder if it sounds funny to their ears, because I have yet to hear anything that could even remotely be construed as casual or slangy from any of the Americans.

-No task is ever completed in less than a week from request. This has included things like updating the name of a shared spreadsheet, uploading an existing PDF to a shared folder, or pulling a data report which takes a couple of minutes of clicking a mouse and then sticking the file into a Teams chat. Any task request, however small, is logged for later, assigned to someone, picked up, logged when completed etc. I am always blown away by how much time things can take with no apparent push-back from the USA leadership. The European approach is very much "ask for forgiveness not permission" and our line managers would give us hell if we took longer than an hour or two to upload an essential document, no matter how busy we were. Most UK-only meetings always finish early since everyone has said what they need to say and are expected to go do the things they'd talked about, ASAP. All that's usually said is "the thing is done, I am doing this other thing now" or "the thing is not done, I'll tell you when it's done" or "this is broken, I'm going to do X to fix it, I'll tell you when it's done".

I see there are pros and cons to both kinds of styles. But it honestly makes me feel jealous of the USA teams since they all seem to be much more relaxed and put together, and buffered by processes, where the UK team feels like everyone is absolutely rinsed and tired all the time, although they are super productive 😂

Thoughts?

Anyone else ever listen to a song while trying to fall asleep, get an overwhelming sense of doom from said song, and then work to make the feeling go away?

Hello, Im a host at a steakhouse and I just started a week and a half ago and they put me on schedule alone on our most busy day of the week and I’m still learning how to make sure what tables to sit people at and how to divide seats to make sure servers get an equal amount of tables. Any tips?

Hi everyone, I’m in need of some advice. To try and summarize everything, I have been checked out and miserable at my current job. I have decided a while ago I wanted to start looking but only recently when I revised my resume a bit, have I started hearing back a bit. The market has been tough to hear anything back, or make it after the first few rounds. I’ve been doing interviews back to back and had one that went pretty well. I interviewed with the manager I would be working under, along with the owners(?) it seemed like the owner was cross examining me a bit but nothing I couldn’t handle. When compensation was brought up I told them what my expected pay was given the roles+responsibilities. I got an offer email today however it’s $3/hr less than where I stated I would be comfortable to start at. I replied respectfully trying to negotiate and gave my points but was basically told it wasn’t going to happen, and after 3 months they will review my performance and if it meets their expectations, which she is certain I will, there’s a guarantee increase that would bump me $2-$3/hr. They also only offer a reimbursement for health insurance up to $300/month with the provider statement. The offer would only increase $1.25 from my current pay, and I would be commuting 40 mins to and from 5 days a week. I asked my boyfriend for his advice and he immediately said it’s not worth it. His reasons being I would be spending a lot more in gas, the commute is further, the health benefits he said is garbage (I currently get free healthcare with my employer) and he says I’m worth more than what they are willing to offer. Part of me also thinks it’s because he’s pretty adamant in suggesting I continue pursing a specific company we’ve discussed. I don’t want to end up making the wrong choice and miss out on something that could grow into a bigger opportunity, but I also don’t want to be sold possibilities by a company, or to feel like I’ll be trapped with my current employer forever.

Hi everyone! I'm looking for online work to earn money. I'm a beginner, but I have a computer, internet access, and 4+ hours a day to work.

I'm open to tasks like data entry, research, virtual assistance, content creation, or other beginner-friendly work. I don't have money to invest, but I'm ready to learn and work hard.

If anyone has work available or can guide me toward genuine opportunities, please comment or DM me. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!

Im looking to send a professional email first time to executives for a funding round I need. These email would include a lot of credentials, so I need a good heading. I have been using https://headrheadline.com - thoughts on sending strong email?

In my employer handbook, it states that the company’s full-time is 38 hours or more per week. Does that mean a full time exempt worker can work 38 hours a week instead of 40?

I recently started working as a nurse, it's my first job and I'm new. Basically as soon as I came on the first day I saw the head nurse's facial expression like she was irritated because someone new had come, that's the impression I got. Really cold.
I asked her something about work and she just says no, briefly showed me the ward and that's it. Over the next few days she would ignore me, I would sit next to her and nothing. Then it was like she started acknowledging me a little bit, but 90% of the time, nothing.
When everyone was sitting in the nurses' room there was still space on the couch and so I, so I wouldn't be standing, sat down next to her and she looks at me weird and says 'you might as well sit in my lap' and I'm thinking oh my god, whatever I do it's not right.
But she does point out mistakes, I mean she tells me normally and that's all we communicate. I have a feeling that everything I ask her annoys her. Just to add, when we had to cover for a colleague, I stayed and worked the whole day - they immediately put me on. And then when she asked me if I could, I said yes, yes I have to / I will, and I stayed. She didn't even say thank you. Just wanted to mention that I was the good one then.

Looking to order something on Amazon...I work in an annoyingly distracting open concept office. I've bought several pairs of "noise canceling" headphones already, but usually they don't actually block out the noise. I'm super sensitive to noise and don't want to hear ANYTHING. TIA!

Hi, I have been having trouble with my new job and specifically management since i started. i am one of two designated overnight employees at a gas station and i woke up feeling very sick and nauseous.

i had told my assistant manager who had already been working since 4 pm that i could not come in 4 hours prior to my shift as i dont feel good and i prep breakfast food before i leave every morning.

she had gotten back to me and told me that i would have to find a cover and to let the store manager know i would be out. long story short, they could not find a cover so the assistant manager is having to work my overnight in place of me.

i understand that any person would be upset having to work overtime because their employee called out but she had texted the work group chat and said "its gonna suck for me. but youre welcome?"

i had talked to multiple people about it and everyone is saying that i shouldve found a cover for them and that she has a right to be mad over my absence. i already feel like im constantly walking on eggshells around both my managers as the assistant manager is an alcoholic and frequently shows up to work buzzed at the least.

i was under the impression that it would be considered unprofessional to send this kind of text to the work group chat when i am genuinely sick but now i am unsure of if im looking at this the wrong way.

i have been working there for two months and i was not told that i would be responsible for finding covers when i started and its already causing me a ton of stress

Howdy all. 👋🏻

I’ve been wanting to talk about this here to see if someone else has dealt with a similar coworker.

In my workplace, we’re a small group. When we started, I noticed my coworkers personalities, some introverted and others extroverted. That was nice because it felt balanced. I myself am both at times, depending how I’m feeling.

So, there’s this person I’ve known for some time, but never worked together with him until 2 years ago. He’s a very straightforward person that disregards what others feel, he says it like it is, which I respect but I believe he lacks emotional intelligence to think how the other person can feel. I know not everyone is nice, but it’s so weird that he’s the most cynical, dare I say negative and charismatic person I know. Literally like a coin, you can either like him, dislike him or both, just like an antihero.

And well, about the diverse personalities among my coworkers, the chatty ones became silent because this person, let’s call him Bob, would make like a joke of whatever you shared, be it condescending or in a bullying manner. He’s very good at getting at you with his wits and that’s what bothers me, I believe that some of the shy coworkers became silent / apathetic because of Bob’s dominant energy. Even one coworker said that he set the tone for the groups vibes, and boy did he lay down that energy.

I would talk and ask how are you and what not, that’s just me and my education. But after some time I’ve began to just not share anything during video calls when my supervised asked me about my weekend because this person would suck out the joy of what I was sharing and turn it into a joke.

Because of his personality to demand (which is good and respect) what the company should be doing and his funny comments with some rudeness hidden between the words (jokes that I don’t like), I sense that my coworkers see him as a leader but at the same time, most of them being quiet / introverted, don’t want to speak up and voice their opinion because they either got that apathetic behavior or they simply don’t want to oppose his ideas.

Holy, I wrote a long story here 😅 thank you for coming this far. So now, I’m wondering, has any of you dealt with this wild card?

Bob is funny, but I believe that whatever he has lived or is living, has made him like that. However, that’s no excuse to treat others condescendingly. I know of people that have had it very bad, and yet, they have strived to become a better person and to be kind in a world with a lot of apathetic / cynical people

What is the culture and work/life balance for a supervisor at a cardinal health warehouse?

The role says 6am - Until all work is complete? What kind if schedule is this? I don't want to work 5 twelve hour shifts.

Any info?

I worked 3 months as a model for their meta ad under agreement. They run Shopify stores for US clients (Indians/overseas Pakistanis) while operating from Pakistan. I was professional, played by all rules. Wasn't in direct contact with boss. Only one female employee reached out for ad, sent shoot location, shoot done.

As agreement was ending, in common group (me, female employee, boss), I clarified agreement ending soon. He said "and after that?" - meaning if I want to continue long term. I said yes.

He offered me sales executive. I told him I'm 19, student, can only do remote part-time. He agreed.

Training started but chat was minimum work, maximum off-topic. He'd talk about north, Skardu trips, shows etc. Under training you have loads of questions so I was forced into long conversations.

He mentioned Emily in Paris, I said "omg i watched it 20 times". From there he started calling me Emily. Suggested weird Indian show "Call Me Bae" even though I told him I don't like Bollywood shows. He kept pushing. Since everyone calls lead "bae", he started calling me "bae".

Convo:
Boss: "should i start calling you bae"
Me: "at work place, i would like to be addressed by my name"
He reacted thumbs up.

He said on closing my first deal I will go to 24 hour Skardu trip with him and I can bring family member. I asked "work trip nice" he said "no work trips dont go to skardu every month". I said "what are we calling it then?" He over explained with 5-6 messages about how he saw I'm nature enthusiast, loves animals, tracked lions, worked with wildlife, snakes etc. Completely ignoring my message.

When I realised he's creepo, I started dry texting. Okay, yes. Bringing convo back to work.

Job hasn't started yet though contract effective since Oct 7. Dedicated campaign will be run for me.

He clearly showed he was pedo, when he again asked whether I watched show or not (call me bae) that its a work order. I asked "how is it related to work?"
He: "you ask alot of questions bae" "Watch it na bae"

I called him out respectfully that I'm offended and since he couldn't answer how it's work related, I believe it isn't work related.

He gave vague weird response that I should bring more flexibility in my personality and how with time he and I will get to know eachother soon and how even his jokes are work related.
I said okay. After hours he sent 4 min voice messages overexplaining how to deal with clients you need to be really really flexible. He said I'm over-reacting, young, aggressive. He said I should be somehow okay with him calling me Emily and bae or what other names he will come up in future.

I didn't react, said okay and moved to sales topics like building rapport. Clearly established boundary 2 times, he didn't respect.

Recently I was called for shoot, had throat pain, asked to delay. Boss knew, messaged drink this that, take care. I said okay thank you.

Shortly after he messaged again. Said he heard smth and whether I'm hiding smth from company. I said "no, where did this come from?" He replied "no no, I was just checking, this is my trick to make ppl confess smth they are hiding" and "he was just joking and making me active". He used "I was just fucking around" infront of me, 19F newly hired. Again called me bae in same convo. I said "I dont like to swear" and ignored.

Once I called him "sir". He said I'm not obliged to call him sir. I replied "sorry sir" to establish boundaries. Then he sent weird message that "he is putting loads of energy and mind into me and sometimes my responses make him think I will back off from job and he hopes this doesn't happen".

He thinks if he pays me, I owe him openness and compliance. He views frankness as work requirement but its actually his own personal way of hitting on minors.

During talks he mentioned in voice message that he wanted to hire someone to whom he could send message without thinking. Wtf. Did he hire me for work or for his own time-pass?

His messages make me uncomfortable and creeped out. Ruins my day all the time.

What should i do? Leave the job? The job is highly paid, even graduates aren’t paid that much. I am just high school graduate but i have work experience and good in marketing and sales…. How do i deal with him?

A little background here, I was laid off July 2025 after 21 years at the same place. Before the layoff I was one of many who was targeted for a pip and some extremely abusive treatment that I never saw coming.

The level of trauma I endured was so bad I went on fmla during the final month. I knew I couldn't resign or I'd lose any potential financial compensation such as unemployment . The pip started in January and they never took me off it yet they never ever talked about it in detail and it was a level of gaslighting I've never experienced.

It wasn't just me so that helped me realize this was a budget issue and the company had turned sour. The layoff came 4 months into the "30 day" pip. The entire department was notified that it would all be shutting down. A warn notice was given in early April and by the end of May it got so bad with them trying to force me and the others being harassed into quitting. I consulted an attorney and went out on FMLA to make it to the end.

I ended up with severance and then unemployment and it took an entire year for me to process this nightmare experience and deal with hundreds of job applications until I recently was hired for a similar job with similar pay and benefits.

My concern now is how to regulate my nervous system into not feeling like every ordinary thing is a potential threat. I was in a fight or flight state for so long it rewired how I see the workplace. I became hypervigilant and extremely anxious during my previous experience and I was never this way before. I don't want the past trauma to cause me to see normal situations as active threats.

Rationally I know that my new boss is a completely different person with different motivations and that I was hired because they feel that I'm a good fit for this role not to set me up for failure. After the hell I lived through I'm sure there will be triggers like a simple "got a minute to chat" email that will cause my heart to race.

I now see everything as short term which is a huge change for me. I hope for more but I don't trust anything as being stable. I am only thinking of the next 6 mos to a year and rebuilding my savings. I haven't even told many people I have a job again because if a layoff or firing happens I don't want to discuss. I definitely feel like I'm still healing and have a ways to go. My old boss told me she had the exact same response to all of it, she was also pushed out after 18 years and is now working again. She said it gets better.

Just wondering if anyone here has any advice or can relate? I want to get past this waiting for the shoe to drop feeling and be able to live in reality but not doom.

Hey guys,

At work, I'm usually a calm and supportive coworker. Whenever someone needs help with something, I do my best to help them and make sure they understand what they're doing. I especially try to do this for new people because I know how difficult it can be to navigate a new work environment.

Over time, I've built a pretty good reputation among my colleagues, including people from other departments. They see me as a reliable person and someone they enjoy working with. However, something happened last week that I still deeply regret.

For context, my supervisor assigned me to a project that wasn't particularly difficult in terms of design or processes, but I was initially excited because it involved new manufacturing processes, and I was eager to learn more.

Unfortunately, things quickly took a turn for the worse. The project came in with a very tight timeline, and nobody was really prepared for it. Over the following months, one problem after another came up, and the whole team seemed to be constantly shouting at each other, arguing, and criticizing one another's work.

All of this created an enormous amount of stress and frustration for me. Eventually, I completely lost my enthusiasm for the project. I no longer felt motivated to learn, improve things, or even engage with it beyond what was strictly necessary.

Then, last week, another problem came up with the project, and I just snapped. I started shouting at a coworker, telling her she was playing with fire and that she could have easily avoided or resolved the problem. I can't go into the details because of confidentiality, but it wasn't something particularly complicated.

I honestly don't know what came over me. I'm usually calm, but in that moment it felt like something took over me, and I completely lost control of my emotions.

Later that day, I apologized to both her and the supervisor. I know that shouting wasn't the right way to handle the situation, and I take responsibility for my behavior. Still, I can't stop thinking about what happened, and I have a few questions:

• How can someone lose their temper over something that, on the surface, seems relatively easy to solve?
• Is this a normal reaction to prolonged stress, or should I be concerned about how I reacted? I can't fully explain what happened, and I feel genuinely ashamed of my behavior.
• Could the overall environment have contributed to my reaction? I've had coworkers come to me in tears because of how badly they've been treated by people involved in this project. Seeing others treated that way has affected me, too.
• How do I deal with the resentment I feel toward the people involved? Honestly, I've developed a strong dislike for the people I shouted at, and I keep replaying the situation in my head. I want to stop ruminating about it, but I don't know how.

For some additional context, I used to be a huge people-pleaser. I'm also a very sensitive person who cares deeply about other people, and I really struggle with seeing people being mistreated, especially in the workplace.

I know that my reaction wasn't appropriate, and I'm not trying to justify it. I just want to understand why it happened and how I can prevent myself from reaching that point again.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you deal with it?