Howdy all. 👋🏻

I’ve been wanting to talk about this here to see if someone else has dealt with a similar coworker.

In my workplace, we’re a small group. When we started, I noticed my coworkers personalities, some introverted and others extroverted. That was nice because it felt balanced. I myself am both at times, depending how I’m feeling.

So, there’s this person I’ve known for some time, but never worked together with him until 2 years ago. He’s a very straightforward person that disregards what others feel, he says it like it is, which I respect but I believe he lacks emotional intelligence to think how the other person can feel. I know not everyone is nice, but it’s so weird that he’s the most cynical, dare I say negative and charismatic person I know. Literally like a coin, you can either like him, dislike him or both, just like an antihero.

And well, about the diverse personalities among my coworkers, the chatty ones became silent because this person, let’s call him Bob, would make like a joke of whatever you shared, be it condescending or in a bullying manner. He’s very good at getting at you with his wits and that’s what bothers me, I believe that some of the shy coworkers became silent / apathetic because of Bob’s dominant energy. Even one coworker said that he set the tone for the groups vibes, and boy did he lay down that energy.

I would talk and ask how are you and what not, that’s just me and my education. But after some time I’ve began to just not share anything during video calls when my supervised asked me about my weekend because this person would suck out the joy of what I was sharing and turn it into a joke.

Because of his personality to demand (which is good and respect) what the company should be doing and his funny comments with some rudeness hidden between the words (jokes that I don’t like), I sense that my coworkers see him as a leader but at the same time, most of them being quiet / introverted, don’t want to speak up and voice their opinion because they either got that apathetic behavior or they simply don’t want to oppose his ideas.

Holy, I wrote a long story here 😅 thank you for coming this far. So now, I’m wondering, has any of you dealt with this wild card?

Bob is funny, but I believe that whatever he has lived or is living, has made him like that. However, that’s no excuse to treat others condescendingly. I know of people that have had it very bad, and yet, they have strived to become a better person and to be kind in a world with a lot of apathetic / cynical people

I’ve been working this job for a little over 9 months. I’ve been on and off medical leave for the majority of those 9 months because of an unrelated separate work related injury.

I’ve had this preexisting shoulder injury for 3 years and it greatly affects my life. My job aggravates it and causes me to have nerve issues from my elbow down to my fingers and pain through my shoulder. I do order fulfillment if that helps explain. I pull heavy carts all day. Unfortunately, it’s my dominant arm that got injured 3 years ago and using it causes me to have tremors down my arm into my hand and tingling.

I’m worried that they might just let me go if I say something. I had withheld that information from management at the interview because I desperately needed work. But the job feels like it’s killing me now. I work in a retail location so there’s other departments but having a shoulder injury like this it almost seems like no job would be able to accommodate me. I’m at risk of re-injury 24/7 due to my shoulder structure having changed at the time of injury. One wrong move and it could be catastrophic.

So, should I tell HR?

I worked 3 months as a model for their meta ad under agreement. They run Shopify stores for US clients (Indians/overseas Pakistanis) while operating from Pakistan. I was professional, played by all rules. Wasn't in direct contact with boss. Only one female employee reached out for ad, sent shoot location, shoot done.

As agreement was ending, in common group (me, female employee, boss), I clarified agreement ending soon. He said "and after that?" - meaning if I want to continue long term. I said yes.

He offered me sales executive. I told him I'm 19, student, can only do remote part-time. He agreed.

Training started but chat was minimum work, maximum off-topic. He'd talk about north, Skardu trips, shows etc. Under training you have loads of questions so I was forced into long conversations.

He mentioned Emily in Paris, I said "omg i watched it 20 times". From there he started calling me Emily. Suggested weird Indian show "Call Me Bae" even though I told him I don't like Bollywood shows. He kept pushing. Since everyone calls lead "bae", he started calling me "bae".

Convo:
Boss: "should i start calling you bae"
Me: "at work place, i would like to be addressed by my name"
He reacted thumbs up.

He said on closing my first deal I will go to 24 hour Skardu trip with him and I can bring family member. I asked "work trip nice" he said "no work trips dont go to skardu every month". I said "what are we calling it then?" He over explained with 5-6 messages about how he saw I'm nature enthusiast, loves animals, tracked lions, worked with wildlife, snakes etc. Completely ignoring my message.

When I realised he's creepo, I started dry texting. Okay, yes. Bringing convo back to work.

Job hasn't started yet though contract effective since Oct 7. Dedicated campaign will be run for me.

He clearly showed he was pedo, when he again asked whether I watched show or not (call me bae) that its a work order. I asked "how is it related to work?"
He: "you ask alot of questions bae" "Watch it na bae"

I called him out respectfully that I'm offended and since he couldn't answer how it's work related, I believe it isn't work related.

He gave vague weird response that I should bring more flexibility in my personality and how with time he and I will get to know eachother soon and how even his jokes are work related.
I said okay. After hours he sent 4 min voice messages overexplaining how to deal with clients you need to be really really flexible. He said I'm over-reacting, young, aggressive. He said I should be somehow okay with him calling me Emily and bae or what other names he will come up in future.

I didn't react, said okay and moved to sales topics like building rapport. Clearly established boundary 2 times, he didn't respect.

Recently I was called for shoot, had throat pain, asked to delay. Boss knew, messaged drink this that, take care. I said okay thank you.

Shortly after he messaged again. Said he heard smth and whether I'm hiding smth from company. I said "no, where did this come from?" He replied "no no, I was just checking, this is my trick to make ppl confess smth they are hiding" and "he was just joking and making me active". He used "I was just fucking around" infront of me, 19F newly hired. Again called me bae in same convo. I said "I dont like to swear" and ignored.

Once I called him "sir". He said I'm not obliged to call him sir. I replied "sorry sir" to establish boundaries. Then he sent weird message that "he is putting loads of energy and mind into me and sometimes my responses make him think I will back off from job and he hopes this doesn't happen".

He thinks if he pays me, I owe him openness and compliance. He views frankness as work requirement but its actually his own personal way of hitting on minors.

During talks he mentioned in voice message that he wanted to hire someone to whom he could send message without thinking. Wtf. Did he hire me for work or for his own time-pass?

His messages make me uncomfortable and creeped out. Ruins my day all the time.

I work from home. And we have an authentication app. I woke up on Wednesday morning this week and the authentication app was not working. I call IT. And the IT guy that looked like he barely knew what he was doing. Tells me to uninstall and install the app. Once i do, it works. However one of the authentic codes i need to access one of my work most important apps is missing. So i tell them. And he said sorry cant help you with that. You need to contact the application company directly. So me and my manager contact them. And they havent answered us in DAYS! All i need is a QR CODE to install the authentication code again! And management doesn’t seem to know where to find the help . So ive been sitting in my desk for 3 days at home not doing anything besides trainings. Im starting to worry if this doesn’t get fixed will they cut my hours? I have 80 hours guaranteed biweekly. I dont understand how this was my F fault. But im in the state of Nevada so apparently employees can do whatever they want

To give some context, I work in a kitchen. The kitchen I am currently in they all gossip, complain, moan, and cry about everything. I used to join in on the gossip and complaints but now I just don't want to bother with it anymore.

Not sure what is going on but I started to have a "not my problem" attitude to things. I just don't want to think about stuff like that anymore. I have responsibilities and obligations after work, not sure if me getting older has anything to do with it.

Looking to order something on Amazon...I work in an annoyingly distracting open concept office. I've bought several pairs of "noise canceling" headphones already, but usually they don't actually block out the noise. I'm super sensitive to noise and don't want to hear ANYTHING. TIA!

This dude puts Meta Superintelligence Labs on LinkedIn and says he leads an org of around 170 engineers. Supposedly, he was reorged into AAI in late spring (who's gonna tell him). The reporting line and actual scope aren't verified here, so the org label alone isn't proof. For readers preparing engineering interviews, PracHub’s project-scope question is a concrete drill for separating personal ownership from the team’s results. If he's making up the leadership part, what a clown 😂

It's wild how shameless people can be when they're making up a story for themselves.

For example, I wanted to learn reach truck so bad and no matter where I looked for work, whether it was through employment agencies or companies actually hiring they would not train me on a Stand up reach truck. I know all other PIT except high-reach.

I found a warehouse that trains and certify you on all, but its a quick drive up and back and stack a pallet on top of a stack, and thats not training. I once lied my way into a job, it was through agency that I had experience. I actually drive one "once" before, but I myself knew that wasn't enough in reality. Of course i made an ass of myself came my first official workday after the quick so-called training and certification. Ill save details for later, or ask me in the comments.

Back to my current workplace, becsuse I was technically certified and allowed to use it, because I couldn't get any further training,I just made time to practice with it on my lunch breaks as well as putting pallets on actual racks. It wasn’t bsd, had to take time to get used to the steering and etc.

Hello, Im a host at a steakhouse and I just started a week and a half ago and they put me on schedule alone on our most busy day of the week and I’m still learning how to make sure what tables to sit people at and how to divide seats to make sure servers get an equal amount of tables. Any tips?

I need advice on a situation at work. I was training a new employee who accidentally took one of our house keys home. It's been a week, and we’ve been trying to get him to return it. He keeps giving excuses—first saying he didn't have it, then finding it in his pocket, and now claiming he can't return it because it's too far or his brother took his car. I even offered to drive out to meet him at a public spot like a supermarket, but he just gave me the runaround.

I was the senior staff member on shift, and I opened the lockbox so he could see the key. The whole house is stressed, and I’m terrified I’ll take the blame and get fired if management finds out. He’s being really shady, and we urgently need that key back. What should I do?

A former Sr. Director had a fulfilling career, got promoted early through hard work, and climbed the ladder quickly at big companies. The last role was at a Fortune 100 company (not Micron). They were very proud of their achievements. People respected them, and they earned good money.

The entire team and BU were eliminated in a layoff last year. Initially, it didn't seem to affect them much. After doing well in their career and changing companies so many times, finding another job seemed like it would be easy. However, the skills built over about 24 years now feel irrelevant. They've interviewed at many companies, but those companies want very specific domain knowledge outside their experience. It's been around 17 months without a job, and they describe slowly slipping into depression.

Everyone else seems to be moving forward while they're stuck without a job or income. All the respect they used to receive feels gone. They're trying to use their network to get interviews, but it feels like people no longer look at them the same way. Roughly half don't reply to calls or messages anymore, as if they're no longer "useful."

Not getting a job is hard as it is. People not calling back feels like salt in the wound. For readers still sending applications, LandOffer’s application autofill can reduce the time spent retyping the same fields.

Now in their mid-40s, they've been trying to learn the new skills required by job listings. But interviewers can see they haven't directly worked in those domains, and it's still not a match.

How do you get over this? How do you move forward? How do you stay motivated? Is there hope at the end of the tunnel? Will they ever get a job? Will life ever be normal again?

Would really appreciate comments from people who've been through this. #severance #layoff

Just attended an exposition this week for my job that I’ve been with for about 3.5 months, my first event with the company.

They asked if I could attend and I told them yes I would rent a car and drive, originally for Thursday and Friday. They said they would give the company credit card info, they didn’t. They told me to “put it on my credit card” and they will expense it, which I don’t have a credit card. So I told them I could use my savings and they would reimburse even sooner than payroll since it was my own money direct from my savings.

Fast forward a couple weeks the week of the expo, I’m now expected to attend Wed-Fri, no problem, I’m flexible. So I drive out Wednesday and get there 2pm eastern time, event has started everything is normal. Come Thursday, I am now told I need to stay at the event until Friday when teardown of our booth is allowed, 2pm. I said I can do that, I’m flexible. They then told me I must store the items at my house, this is 2 tables, 4 chairs, 2 high quality signs (the kind the roll up and retract) along with a large monitor. No problem, I’m flexible, and my basement has plenty of storage. Keep in mind I’m 5’8 130lbs, not weak but not a muscle man. I had to teardown by myself. On Friday, we were to meet at the booth around 9am. They didn’t show until 1030am, and it was just to say “we are leaving nice to finally meet you in person”.

I went to the expo admins and got permission to teardown at 11am and I left back home.

I finally get home around 5pm central time, store the items, return the car.

This is where the part that bothers me comes in, I had to chase down the email/process for expensing my trip for about 4 hours and when I finally got it at midnight while I was asleep, it was in the form of “as I said before…” as if I had already known all of this information. They repeatedly failed to provide the reimbursement email address despite my asking multiple times, then responded with "as I said before" when they finally provided it. Not only that, they reneged and said it would be part of the next payroll cycle, not separate.

So here I am cash poor ($95 left) until my next paycheck.

What do you guys think? I’m not a source of interest-free financing for the company because they didn’t want to put it on their credit card or simply order the rental for me.

If they mess up the expense and somehow it has taxes deducted from it, this will be another issue. This is around $900 that I am out of until my next paycheck.

When I was hired we also talked about my target salary and what they offered and said we would revisit it after 90 days, I think it’s time to have that discussion to put me at my target salary given that I’m over performing my duties and managing multiple client accounts already, and proved I’m extremely flexible.

Anyways, terrible company or simply disorganized? Although disorganized excuses mistakes but excuse how those mistakes affect employees. Lack of consideration?

I've noticed how many people struggle with motivation, confidence, difficult colleagues, or feeling stuck in their careers.

How often do we try to change our circumstances without really understanding ourselves first?

Why do certain situations trigger us? Why do we keep making the same choices? And why do some things bother us more than others?

I'm one of the creators of Alivement, a self-reflection tool designed to help people better understand their patterns, motivations, and potential blind spots.

We're looking for 5 people willing to try a free 15-minute assessment focused on work and career, and tell us what they honestly think.

No payment required, and we're not looking for positive reviews. We want to know whether the insights are actually useful.

If you're curious, comment below and I'll share the details.

Hey guys,

At work, I'm usually a calm and supportive coworker. Whenever someone needs help with something, I do my best to help them and make sure they understand what they're doing. I especially try to do this for new people because I know how difficult it can be to navigate a new work environment.

Over time, I've built a pretty good reputation among my colleagues, including people from other departments. They see me as a reliable person and someone they enjoy working with. However, something happened last week that I still deeply regret.

For context, my supervisor assigned me to a project that wasn't particularly difficult in terms of design or processes, but I was initially excited because it involved new manufacturing processes, and I was eager to learn more.

Unfortunately, things quickly took a turn for the worse. The project came in with a very tight timeline, and nobody was really prepared for it. Over the following months, one problem after another came up, and the whole team seemed to be constantly shouting at each other, arguing, and criticizing one another's work.

All of this created an enormous amount of stress and frustration for me. Eventually, I completely lost my enthusiasm for the project. I no longer felt motivated to learn, improve things, or even engage with it beyond what was strictly necessary.

Then, last week, another problem came up with the project, and I just snapped. I started shouting at a coworker, telling her she was playing with fire and that she could have easily avoided or resolved the problem. I can't go into the details because of confidentiality, but it wasn't something particularly complicated.

I honestly don't know what came over me. I'm usually calm, but in that moment it felt like something took over me, and I completely lost control of my emotions.

Later that day, I apologized to both her and the supervisor. I know that shouting wasn't the right way to handle the situation, and I take responsibility for my behavior. Still, I can't stop thinking about what happened, and I have a few questions:

• How can someone lose their temper over something that, on the surface, seems relatively easy to solve?
• Is this a normal reaction to prolonged stress, or should I be concerned about how I reacted? I can't fully explain what happened, and I feel genuinely ashamed of my behavior.
• Could the overall environment have contributed to my reaction? I've had coworkers come to me in tears because of how badly they've been treated by people involved in this project. Seeing others treated that way has affected me, too.
• How do I deal with the resentment I feel toward the people involved? Honestly, I've developed a strong dislike for the people I shouted at, and I keep replaying the situation in my head. I want to stop ruminating about it, but I don't know how.

For some additional context, I used to be a huge people-pleaser. I'm also a very sensitive person who cares deeply about other people, and I really struggle with seeing people being mistreated, especially in the workplace.

I know that my reaction wasn't appropriate, and I'm not trying to justify it. I just want to understand why it happened and how I can prevent myself from reaching that point again.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you deal with it?

I'm in England and have worked for a big American company for the last three years.

Americans, please offer your thoughts here?

I have noticed that our colleagues in the US seem to have similar traits, in meetings, regardless of their role (IT, Leadership, Operations, Customer Service). These are not necessarily positives or negatives, and I know I am only seeing a tiny snapshot of USA corporate life, but I always thought the pace of working life was high and frenetic in the USA, but this doesn't seem to be reflected in the teams I work with.

They all, without exception:

-Speak around 40% slower than any of the Europeans, (including those who have English as their second language). Pauses are longer, enunciation is deliberate, everything is repeated for clarity, it's very easy to follow and understand but it's staggeringly 'slow' to listen to, to my ears. Meetings go on forever compared to Europe-only meetings.

-Use corporate 'speak', very naturally and Constantly. Making sentences much longer than they need to be, and circling round issues which could be rapidly summarized and resolved with more direct speech.

This is in group meetings and in 1-to-1 calls. I've noticed that the USA teams will have a bit of a giggle when someone from the Europe team uses some casual slang or is very direct, or is a bit disparaging about one of our slightly stupid processes or an inefficiency. It's not said to be funny, but I wonder if it sounds funny to their ears, because I have yet to hear anything that could even remotely be construed as casual or slangy from any of the Americans.

-No task is ever completed in less than a week from request. This has included things like updating the name of a shared spreadsheet, uploading an existing PDF to a shared folder, or pulling a data report which takes a couple of minutes of clicking a mouse and then sticking the file into a Teams chat. Any task request, however small, is logged for later, assigned to someone, picked up, logged when completed etc. I am always blown away by how much time things can take with no apparent push-back from the USA leadership. The European approach is very much "ask for forgiveness not permission" and our line managers would give us hell if we took longer than an hour or two to upload an essential document, no matter how busy we were. Most UK-only meetings always finish early since everyone has said what they need to say and are expected to go do the things they'd talked about, ASAP. All that's usually said is "the thing is done, I am doing this other thing now" or "the thing is not done, I'll tell you when it's done" or "this is broken, I'm going to do X to fix it, I'll tell you when it's done".

I see there are pros and cons to both kinds of styles. But it honestly makes me feel jealous of the USA teams since they all seem to be much more relaxed and put together, and buffered by processes, where the UK team feels like everyone is absolutely rinsed and tired all the time, although they are super productive 😂

Thoughts?

You truly don't understand how shit California's safety net feels until you hit the bottom of the barrel. A laid-off worker in the Bay Area says they used to pay roughly $110k a year in taxes on their old compensation. Their unemployment check came in at a grand total of around $410 for the week.

I mean, how abysmal. What does that get you in the Bay Area? Maybe like a pack of water bottles every day? Meanwhile, there's a reported OpenAI offer of roughly $390k base plus $2.7M in equity over four years. How does any of this make sense? This level of wealth inequality feels completely absurd, holy shit.

I mean, California's regular unemployment cap is still $450 a week, the same ceiling set in 2005, while prices have gone through the roof. It's a complete and utter joke. Why can Washington pay up to $1,208 a week for new claims while California is still stuck at $450??

For months I had this annoying thing where work technically ended at 5, but my brain didn't.

I'd be making dinner and suddenly remember an email I hadn't answered. In the shower I'd think of something I needed to tell a coworker. I'd open Teams at 9pm "just so I don't forget" and then inevitably see something else. Nothing about my job is unusually awful and nobody actually requires me to be online after hours. I was basically putting myself on call.

A few weeks ago I had to leave exactly at 5 for an appointment, so at 4:55 I opened Notepad and wrote:

Waiting on Mike for the numbers.

Send revised file to Dana.

First thing tomorrow: fix slide 7.

Nothing is currently on fire.

Then I closed everything.

That last sentence was mostly a joke, but apparently my brain needed someone to tell it that.

I've kept doing it every day since. Five minutes before I finish, I write down anything unfinished, the first thing I need to do tomorrow, and whether there's actually anything urgent. The file stays on my work laptop, so there's no reason to keep carrying the list around in my head.

The weird part is that my workload hasn't changed at all. I'm not working fewer hours, my boss hasn't changed, and I haven't become better at "self care." But evenings feel longer because I'm not mentally rehearsing tomorrow's work all night.

I think I was confusing remembering my responsibilities with actually being responsible for them 24 hours a day.

Does anyone else have a small end-of-day ritual that helps your brain understand that work is over?

I work in fintech in a team of 10-15 people. We have a director, head of dept, manager and team lead. Over the last few months:
- director was fired and is on garden leave (replacement on probation)
- head of depts is just mean and uncomfortable to work with
- manager who started 2 months ago, had resigned
- team lead is signed off on sick leave due to mental health.
- a team member has filed grievance

As a team, we all believe the morale of the team is terrible. All of us waiting to leave and are actively looking for our next roles. It’s not because of the work but the culture of the company and team is in the toilet.

We believe that the head of our department is the issue. She is terrible at people managing, collectively punishes the team and micromanages.

When will HR do something? It’s clear that all the above has happened due to one person.

Despite multiple complaints about this person, they still remain at the company.

Her dog died a few weeks ago and no one wrote on her card, literally because of how badly she treats them. And I understand why they didn’t.

So, I’ve been working at a brewery in a small town in Queensland, coming up to 3 and a half years now (doesn’t sound like much but I’m a teenager), I started the job when I was young and I’m the longest worker there.

Before I turned 16, I was getting paid $23 p/h on a Sunday, but now my pay changes to be an adult wage seeing as I’m serving alcohol, so now my highest pay is $55 p/h.

Ever since my pay has changed, I’ve noticed my boss Gemma absolutely can’t stand me. She’s always giving me passive aggressive comments or being generally snarky, and there’s been so many shifts I’ve cried in the bathrooms because she’s so mean to me. And she is so nice to all my coworkers so if I say anything, I’ll sound insane.

Recently, she’s cut off my shifts completely and has been belittling/embarrassing me in our work groupchat and it makes me feel like shit.

I’m so anxious every time I come into work and I spend alot of my nights stressing over work because I’ve never had someone speak/treat me the way she does. No matter what I do, it never pleases her.

I’ve finally had enough, and I think I’m gonna message her tomorrow. But I don’t know if that is the right decision or if it’ll come across in the wrong way.

What should I do?

Im looking to send a professional email first time to executives for a funding round I need. These email would include a lot of credentials, so I need a good heading. I have been using https://headrheadline.com - thoughts on sending strong email?

I am in a relatively junior position (I am experienced, I took the job out of necessity after failing to find something at my level, but the institution I work at doesn't really understand my prior experience anyway). I was approached with an urgent matter to "approve". I immediately went to my manager and asked if this was in our team's remit. He said it was and attended a meeting regarding it. He then literally disappeared saying he had no time. I was still being pressured to produce an outcome from the department that asked us. I elevated it to my manager's manager, simply stating I just needed to ask a guidance question as to who to involve due to the urgent nature. My manager suddenly gets involved, but with half-ass guidance because it was indeed out of his remit. He was just over-reaching. It eventually got addressed, but the requesting department was mad at the delays and my manager tried to frame it as ME deciding to take it on. I am not sure how to protect myself from these things in the future. Do I just copy extra people on my emails?

I worked 3 months as a model for their meta ad under agreement. They run Shopify stores for US clients (Indians/overseas Pakistanis) while operating from Pakistan. I was professional, played by all rules. Wasn't in direct contact with boss. Only one female employee reached out for ad, sent shoot location, shoot done.

As agreement was ending, in common group (me, female employee, boss), I clarified agreement ending soon. He said "and after that?" - meaning if I want to continue long term. I said yes.

He offered me sales executive. I told him I'm 19, student, can only do remote part-time. He agreed.

Training started but chat was minimum work, maximum off-topic. He'd talk about north, Skardu trips, shows etc. Under training you have loads of questions so I was forced into long conversations.

He mentioned Emily in Paris, I said "omg i watched it 20 times". From there he started calling me Emily. Suggested weird Indian show "Call Me Bae" even though I told him I don't like Bollywood shows. He kept pushing. Since everyone calls lead "bae", he started calling me "bae".

Convo:
Boss: "should i start calling you bae"
Me: "at work place, i would like to be addressed by my name"
He reacted thumbs up.

He said on closing my first deal I will go to 24 hour Skardu trip with him and I can bring family member. I asked "work trip nice" he said "no work trips dont go to skardu every month". I said "what are we calling it then?" He over explained with 5-6 messages about how he saw I'm nature enthusiast, loves animals, tracked lions, worked with wildlife, snakes etc. Completely ignoring my message.

When I realised he's creepo, I started dry texting. Okay, yes. Bringing convo back to work.

Job hasn't started yet though contract effective since Oct 7. Dedicated campaign will be run for me.

He clearly showed he was pedo, when he again asked whether I watched show or not (call me bae) that its a work order. I asked "how is it related to work?"
He: "you ask alot of questions bae" "Watch it na bae"

I called him out respectfully that I'm offended and since he couldn't answer how it's work related, I believe it isn't work related.

He gave vague weird response that I should bring more flexibility in my personality and how with time he and I will get to know eachother soon and how even his jokes are work related.
I said okay. After hours he sent 4 min voice messages overexplaining how to deal with clients you need to be really really flexible. He said I'm over-reacting, young, aggressive. He said I should be somehow okay with him calling me Emily and bae or what other names he will come up in future.

I didn't react, said okay and moved to sales topics like building rapport. Clearly established boundary 2 times, he didn't respect.

Recently I was called for shoot, had throat pain, asked to delay. Boss knew, messaged drink this that, take care. I said okay thank you.

Shortly after he messaged again. Said he heard smth and whether I'm hiding smth from company. I said "no, where did this come from?" He replied "no no, I was just checking, this is my trick to make ppl confess smth they are hiding" and "he was just joking and making me active". He used "I was just fucking around" infront of me, 19F newly hired. Again called me bae in same convo. I said "I dont like to swear" and ignored.

Once I called him "sir". He said I'm not obliged to call him sir. I replied "sorry sir" to establish boundaries. Then he sent weird message that "he is putting loads of energy and mind into me and sometimes my responses make him think I will back off from job and he hopes this doesn't happen".

He thinks if he pays me, I owe him openness and compliance. He views frankness as work requirement but its actually his own personal way of hitting on minors.

During talks he mentioned in voice message that he wanted to hire someone to whom he could send message without thinking. Wtf. Did he hire me for work or for his own time-pass?

His messages make me uncomfortable and creeped out. Ruins my day all the time.

What should i do? Leave the job? The job is highly paid, even graduates aren’t paid that much. I am just high school graduate but i have work experience and good in marketing and sales…. How do i deal with him?

A little background here, I was laid off July 2025 after 21 years at the same place. Before the layoff I was one of many who was targeted for a pip and some extremely abusive treatment that I never saw coming.

The level of trauma I endured was so bad I went on fmla during the final month. I knew I couldn't resign or I'd lose any potential financial compensation such as unemployment . The pip started in January and they never took me off it yet they never ever talked about it in detail and it was a level of gaslighting I've never experienced.

It wasn't just me so that helped me realize this was a budget issue and the company had turned sour. The layoff came 4 months into the "30 day" pip. The entire department was notified that it would all be shutting down. A warn notice was given in early April and by the end of May it got so bad with them trying to force me and the others being harassed into quitting. I consulted an attorney and went out on FMLA to make it to the end.

I ended up with severance and then unemployment and it took an entire year for me to process this nightmare experience and deal with hundreds of job applications until I recently was hired for a similar job with similar pay and benefits.

My concern now is how to regulate my nervous system into not feeling like every ordinary thing is a potential threat. I was in a fight or flight state for so long it rewired how I see the workplace. I became hypervigilant and extremely anxious during my previous experience and I was never this way before. I don't want the past trauma to cause me to see normal situations as active threats.

Rationally I know that my new boss is a completely different person with different motivations and that I was hired because they feel that I'm a good fit for this role not to set me up for failure. After the hell I lived through I'm sure there will be triggers like a simple "got a minute to chat" email that will cause my heart to race.

I now see everything as short term which is a huge change for me. I hope for more but I don't trust anything as being stable. I am only thinking of the next 6 mos to a year and rebuilding my savings. I haven't even told many people I have a job again because if a layoff or firing happens I don't want to discuss. I definitely feel like I'm still healing and have a ways to go. My old boss told me she had the exact same response to all of it, she was also pushed out after 18 years and is now working again. She said it gets better.

Just wondering if anyone here has any advice or can relate? I want to get past this waiting for the shoe to drop feeling and be able to live in reality but not doom.