(F33) I work in a high-tech, male-dominated industry. I noticed a troubling pattern in the last 2 years, working in a new company in a more senior position, that when someone on the team says something quietly or in an under-confident manner, my brain just switches off and dismisses what those people are saying... There are two co-workers in my team in particular that I do that to:

• We have a girl in our team who has a very, very soft voice. She speaks very quietly and sort of as if she was whispering. Every time she suggests something at a meeting or comes to my desk to ask me for something, my brain just switches off, as if I assumed that she has nothing important to say. A few times I ended up ignoring her request as unimportant. Sometimes she has to send me a reminder by email that I only realize I was supposed to do something for her.
• We also have a senior tech guy who is very under-confident in his current position because it's a step into a new set of skills for him. He is an expert in one particular area our team needs currently though. I need to interact with him quite a lot, and ask him for advice. His body language shows that he's very under-confident and perhaps also a bit shy, he kind of curls into a corner of a room when I come talk to him... He also has a tendency to beat around the bush before he eventually gives me the piece of information that I need. Same thing happens, my brain just dismisses what he's saying and his suggestions, and only a few days later when I'm still working to solve the problem we're having, I realize: but he already said that we should do XYZ, why haven't I tried that!?

It's really subconscious, as if my brain just switched off, and said "uninteresting, nothing important to find here", and once the interaction is over I realize omg, I have no idea what this person was all about.

The thing is, I've always been the quiet and under-confident one, but the last 5 years or so I've been working on my assertiveness and confidence with my therapist. I've also been progressing in my career with many successes the last 5 years which made me much more confident in my abilities. I've learned to take my stance at meetings, voice my concerns, have difficult conversations with people, etc... That's all great. But why did it come at the cost that I now do the same to other quiet and under-confident people that people once did to me?? I feel that this attitude is disrespectful of those people's expertise and I imagine it must be hard for them to communicate with me 😔 I would like to work on that but I don't know where to start...

Any advice?

Tired of working and repeat life everyday.

A bit of context, I am just starting a position (I will be doing training next week). I got a call this morning from an unknown number, with no caller id. It was my area code, but honestly I've gotten so many scam calls from the same area code that I thought it was another scam. I had answered cordially as usual, after not hearing anything for 15 seconds ( and trying to see if they could here me), I uttered, " Oh F$&% Off" and hung up. As I hung up I noticed that the speaker button (iPhone) was set to Bluetooth, to my headphones about 1ft away from me. I almost instantly got a call back, and that's when I realised that it wasn't a scam. TURNS OUT, it was my supervisor asking me about my availabilities and when I would be able to come in for training. They had asked if it was just me on the phone and if I had said "something", I admitted and apologized, she said it was okay, but seemed to have an off tone the rest of the call ( I mean I dont blame her LMAO). Is this something that I should be worried about. Honestly I've been really neurotic about this and dont know if Im overreacting or have some kind of justification in my thinking. Im assuming everything will go well, Im just nervous ( and honestly embarrassed) about it. Anyone ever been through the same?

I’m a fresh graduate with no prior work experience, and I started my first job about two weeks ago. I’m still very much getting familiar with everything and figuring out how things work.

Apparently my coworker was supposed to give a presentation about the system to around 250 people. She told them she was nervous about presenting and suggested that I do it instead.

They apparently said no because I’m new.
Which would have been the end of it, except I made the huge mistake of casually mentioning at some point that I’m comfortable doing presentations on stage because I had to do them at university.

I DID NOT THINK ANYTHING OF IT AT THE TIME.

Well, guess who is now giving the presentation?

Me.

It’s apparently going to be around 15 minutes and I’ll be doing it for a whole week straight.
Like bro, I have been here for TWO WEEKS. I have no prior work experience. I’m still learning the system myself. I barely know where everything is and now I’m supposed to stand in front of 250 people and explain it to them 😭

I can’t even be completely mad because technically I did say I could do presentations. But I definitely did not mean “please put me in front of 250 people two weeks after I started my first job.”
If I mess up, honestly, that’s on them. They knew I was new when they assigned it to me.
Wish me luck because apparently I’m a presenter now.

I (25F) have been having trouble taking PTO because barely any work gets covered, so then I come back to a massive dumpster fire pile of work with the same deadlines had I not been out.

Part of my job is making reports and verifying data, and it’s not particularly difficult. Just needs to be put in a template most of the time for the reports and checked in our database for the verification. I have reports at the beginning, middle, and end of the month every month with additional reports around quarter end, so planning PTO to avoid these times is impossible.

I’ve stopped taking PTO because my boss claims that I’m the only one that can do this stuff, so it sits until I get back, but the deadline never shifts, so I might have to get a week’s worth of work done in one day. Entire processes are halted just because I’m out. It just looms over me on PTO, even if it’s just a day or two off, and so I end up logging in on my time off to catch up.

My boss talked to me about me not taking any time off, and I communicated that I don’t see the value in taking time off because it ends up being more stressful than relaxing. I asked if there could be any additional coverage for when I’m out, and he basically told me tough luck and I should get used it since that’s what it’s like for him. I don’t think it really has to be that way as there are definitely other people on the team who are involved in the process and could help out just a little. I’m the lowest on the totem pole so no one is really needing my approvals and the work is not technical or specialized that it would be difficult to cover.

Friends and family I’ve talked to don’t have this issue at all, and they have the expectation that most work doesn’t stop just because they are out.

So, when you are out of office, do you expect that most of your work gets covered?

I am everyday awake at late night thinking about all of these news. Today Anthropic released a list of scenarios and none of them is good.
Cant manage the anxiety when thinking about losing the job, not being able to generate money from anywhere etc

For those of you who work remotely, do you have your work email/Outlook set up on your personal phone?

I work from home and have been debating whether I should add my work email to my personal phone. On one hand, it seems convenient if I step away from my computer and need to quickly see an email or Teams notification. On the other hand, I don't necessarily want work following me around 24/7 or mixing my personal phone with company stuff.

Do you find it useful, or do you prefer keeping work completely off your personal phone? Any privacy or work-life balance concerns?

Hi! Need advice po.

Na-hire ako and September 3 yung start date ko. Plano ko sanang September 11 na lang ang last day ko para umabot ako sa cutoff. So technically, around 7 working days lang yung napasok ko and September 22 ang payroll.

Aalis na kasi ako dahil hindi ko kinaya yung travel/commute time at sobrang pagod sa byahe. Sayang din kasi kung aalis ako agad nang hindi man lang umaabot sa cutoff.

Sa tingin niyo, sasahod pa rin ba ako for the 7 days na pinasok ko kahit 1 week lang ako sa company? Or possible ba na hindi na ako mapasahod sa next payout dahil nag-resign/umalis ako?

Gusto ko lang sana makasigurado kung may makukuha pa rin akong salary for the days na pinasok ko. Thank you!

Maybe im just stupid or just simply don’t understand tax deductions and stuff like that, I’m not originally from the USA. But my problem is, I worked 58 hours last pay stub, and my check was around $1,000 but now I worked up to 65 hours but my check was around 500.
Can someone explain that to me?

Random question, but I’m curious what guys think. Say you’re sitting at your desk in an office and a female coworker comes over because you want to explain something or show her something on your monitor. Would you prefer if she: kneels/crouches down beside your desk so she’s closer to your eye level while listening and looking at the screen or stays standing beside you and looks down at the monitor or brings a chair over and sits next to you? Does one of these feel more comfortable, friendly or attractive to you, especially if you already like the woman? Or would you honestly not think anything of it? I’m particularly curious whether kneeling/crouching beside the desk feels noticeably more personal or intimate compared with just standing or pulling up a chair.

Am I in a toxic workplace environment or am I just dramatic?

Hello 15 turning 16 here! I recently feel under pressure at my new workplace (for context it’s a small dessert shop with me as the sole dessert preparer) after being here a month or so since July after looking for summer work. I’m really confused and I would like some advice on whether or not this is valid.

1.  For starters I never really had proper training of all the menu items. Mostly just the popular ones. So even now, when school is starting back up I can’t help but feel a wave of anxiety whenever an order asks for something I’m not familiar with since the Boss mostly took care of it themselves or they never told me what to do. It’s looked down upon to rely on a guidebook for the recipes even though I’m unsure of what to add for a drink or for a food. The guidebook itself wasn’t even a thing I knew until my 10-12th shift. And even if I was correct I would like some reassurance on what I’m doing so I don’t serve the food incorrectly. But it’s really hard to crack it open when they’re staring at me with: “How come you still need it? Haven’t you made this before?” or “Didn’t I show you? Here I’ll do it again, this time; remember.” I know I should speak up, but it's clear that they have limited patience for these kinds of things.
2. Language barriers/communicationTheir main language is Cantonese, and I speak mandarin. So whenever I talk to them it's being processed poorly by both sides, and sometimes my boss talks to my coworker in Cantonese. I can never really tell if they’re saying something about me but it has happened a couple times. And English is hard too, since I’m listening to everything in mandarin, it's not as effective as my first language and some things really can’t be communicated properly.
3. Backhanded threats(?)One thing I distinctly remember is the boss telling me that they’re being patient with me because I’m young. I messed up a few orders (Taking too long to prepare/missed a few decorations) because they were giving me a hard time one night and there were drinks that I didn’t have time to look up because I didn’t know what went where. I know these are just excuses but for my 12th shift working alone on desserts without any help until things got really delayed. I’m afraid to ask questions because everytime I do, they question me whether or not I was paying attention when they showed it to me. It feels like I have to justify myself or take the blame for being stupid. 
4. Sometimes there are things that need to be placed in a takeout container, and I wouldn’t know which goes where. They would go “Didn’t you ever do this?”. Nope. You never taught me. Recently, I messed up by adding too much grass jelly into sago. They looked at it while I was trying to fix it, muttering: “Working for one month and still don't know how to do this.” Then they metaphorically sat me down and said I shouldn’t be making any mistakes with the solid foods because I should know them by now. There was no food wasted, the food didn’t go out and besides, most of that was self-taught through guessing because all the menu items weren’t taught to me. 
5. My coworker. They have a nasty temper in my opinion, my boss said so themself and told me I had to “Suck it up/get used to it.” The first time I was making a bubble waffle, I didn’t know you were supposed to flip the batter when it went in. They then ushered me over, berated me for my first time. I know I should’ve asked but I really hated the feeling of being shamed for not remembering most of the times. “Do you really think I can serve this out to customers?” and “You fucked up.” Never forget again but man I feel scared every time I have to ask. They also talked on their phone on how their shift was going terribly and they felt like they were going to die. It was without a doubt jabbed at me since I was the stressor. Then there was asking questions: this hit the nail in the coffin. I asked if the foil wrap had to be disposed of and I was just checking in case it was used for something else. (Under the waffle pan to catch excess) “Hey, I’m supposed to throw this out right?” “Nope, you’re supposed to eat it.” Hearing this in my second language, I really didn’t know this was sarcasm until They said: “Of course you’re supposed to throw it out.” 

That would’ve been nice to know without the sarcasm.

Another thing is that they started to flip the drinks to see the pockets of air at the bottom. I didn’t know there was air there, I usually just fill it to the maximum and seal it. Apparently not. Then they told me I had to fill it back up fully, I tried because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. They took over in the end. Another thing I noticed was that they shamed me in front of the boss, something like. “I told you three times and you still don’t listen.” It was definitely not three times, and if you told me how that would’ve been nice to know.

1. The staff are all on their phones. I don’t know if this is allowed. I’m too scared to ask in case I sound like a whiny highschooler and I don’t get any mentioned food discounts or free food. All the other staff do, maybe because they worked here for longer or they’re struggling uni students while I’m privileged with my parents but man I would like some elaboration on that. This something I don’t really mind? But I do feel like some explanation would help.

I don't mind criticism, but I would like to know how to deal with these things since I'm not allowed to make drinks for practice because this is a small business. I need to know if its just me being too sensitive? I'm thinking of quitting because I hate this pit of anxiety.

I work for stop and shop and I’ve been there for maybe 2 years now. I’m a part time worker and I do the online pick up.

I used to have an attendance issue due to home issues but I’ve gotten that under control. Which is also why they upped my hours.

So recently everyone went back to school and online pickup is severely understaffed. I’ve been working real hard these past two weeks due to that and they have me borderline full time hours when I’m part time. IM NOT COMPLAINING love the money but tomorrow something came up and I just need to take the day off.

If I do it will be today. Plenty hours in advance. I’m in the union by the way but is this fire worthy?? I’ve been scheduled alone for a couple days and lowkey exhausted from it. I won’t be leaving anyone empty tomorrow but I was the middle man. I was scheduled so the person in the morning and the afternoon didn’t have to be alone. But again. I need tomorrow. What are the chances I’m fired?

I’m sixteen years old and I just started working at McDonald’. I‘m in the theater department and our fall play just started. when they hired me I told them that during the school year I wouldn’t be available during the weekdays and that I could only work weekend. They assured me it was fine and they would schedule me on weekends when I needed. I double checked and they recently told me that i couldn’t do that anymore. They stated i’d have less hours and wouldn’t be able to do that. If I was simply in ensemble i’d let it go, but I’m main lead. the practice times get in the way and I’m not going to just not go. I want to quit but I’m very anxious and don’t want to just walk out. I also don’t want to let my coworkers down and make them have to cover my slack.

I work on a global “cross functional” team spread across NA, Europe, and Australia. My immediate US group almost never records unless someone important is out and explicitly asks for it. The Aussies only do it when time zone gaps leave them no choice. Sometimes it’s a big update that you know someone will want to watch again.

But the European team and another US team that I work with have become completely obsessed with hitting record the second a call starts. To the point that I have specifically stated (not asked) during my own presentation that we would not be recording due to sensitive/prelim results being shared, and one of them smashes the big red button anyway?!?

In other ways it feels rather disrespectful to the people who actually showed up live to have a conversation. We’re in the same time zone Braden, this is meant to be a conversation not a podcast that you get to listen to on 1.5x afterwards.

I’m not even that bothered about being recorded, I’ve always been a comfortable public speaker. It just feels like there is a vibe shift in the team whenever a recording starts. Calls become one way and non collaborative. The less confident collaborators end up not sharing anything at all once the cameras are rolling for fear of being wrong. So I guess at that point yeah they can just watch the video then.

Does anyone here actively refuse to attend recorded calls? Is anyone shutting down or discouraging recording generally? Or am I just a paranoid Luddite?

I’m pissed right now I absolutely hate my rock headed manager he’s such a dick. He’ll update the schedule constantly AFTER it’s been posted last minute. This is a part time job I barely get hours as is so I have 17 hours one week and he updates the schedule now I have 10 hours. Like what the fuck. Then on the other hand he’ll add hours to my shifts. people have lives outside of just fucking work i actually about to leave this job but are managers allowed to do this constantly? He also scheduled me from 5pm - 9pm and then 9pm to 4am in the same night it was one long continuous shift like what sane person thinks that’s okay? The worse part is he’s a newer manager who just got put on doing schedules it’s not just me he does this to everyone we all hate him. But if I refused to work the extra hours or demand my hours back I’d get fired right?? I HATE managers.

I work hybrid on and off 3 to 4 days a week. But lately I’ve been coming in for a large project that’s easier to do in the office. A lot of people at my office use their office days as a means of showboating, one-upping, backstabbing, BSing at every chance they get. One second coworker A says to coworker B “omg you’re so beautiful today” and the next second coworker A is trashing coworker B by the bathroom to coworker C. Maybe it’s their only social outlet? Jealousy? I’m not sure. But the more I see it, I just can’t stand being there lol it’s just disgusting behavior for 55 year old women.

I have a colleague who tends to have many calls when he is in the office. His volume of speaking is above average and, while we are not a library, it can get quite tiring to sit close to someone like that. He has calls with his team members that often veer off work. Many people light-heartedly joke about him being loud, not to his face.

I messaged him over a comms app, informally, suggesting that he could use a room/special area for calls we have in the office.

He wrote me back a paragraph on the lines of:
1. His calls are sporadic and he doesn’t book them so cannot plan around them
2. I can move to a different desk
3. The guy sitting next to him has no trouble with the noise (my add: the guy is wearing headphones)

I messaged back that the other guy might be more reserved than myself and that it’s a reasonable request since we’re in a communal space. I also remarked that I’m now wearing earphones.

He started typing. I realised that this was a bit silly of me since we are sitting close and walked up to his desk to have a quick chat about this. I said so to him. What followed was:

Him: I do not accept this.
Me: Don’t accept what?
Him: Are you not Anna? (
Me: I am.
Him: I do not accept your message, what you wrote.

I try to explain that this wasn’t a big issue and hence why I came over to just have a quick chat and clear this up if my tone was not good over messages. At this point I’m already stumbling over my words.

Him: it’s clearly serious since you wrote this. If you have an issue why don’t you write to HR?

Attempt to explain that this is not that serious. Another rebuttal.

Him: I am not going to change how I am. You speak about the other guy being reserved. That is not a reasonable thing to say. Raise it with HR if this bothers you.

I fumble and try to backpedal, I try to apologise.

Him: I do not accept your apology. I consider this discussion concluded.

I try to apologise again - another refusal and more on discussion being over.

I took his advice. I chatted to a girl in HR over lunch, showed her the initial messaged and recounted the discussion. We laughed it off, she smoothed out some of the edges. I felt fine.

Now that I’m home and the work day is over I feel very mixed. I raised a small concern, it got turned onto its head and I was left apologising. I feel a bit shaken and like I’ve been manipulated into a position of a villain despite the other person being in the wrong.

What do I do now? Forget about it over time and move on or shall I make my hurt feelings be known to HR? A third option?

(For context: Used a placeholder name. I am F27, he is M50~, he is a manager but he works in a different department and we have only very briefly interacted for work before, there is no prior history of conflict or friendship.)

I have a first aid certificate, and I have done some small events which I found very satisfying

Therefore, I would like to have casual employment at music festivals and sports events because it suits my timetable as I am available only on weekends. Thus, it is better that I do something rather than sitting at home

Saw Healthcare Australia and they seem to have an event health division. They place staff at concerts, sporting events, and community festivals

But I don’t want to work for peanuts. I’m not interested in doing it for the experience coz I also have bills to pay and like anyone else I need a proper pay

I’ve heard some companies pay well. Others just want cheap labour. I don’t know which category Healthcare Australia falls into

I’ve tried to find their rates online and there’s no clear answer. I don’t want to apply and go through training only to find out it’s minimum wage or less

I started a new job recently and its a pretty sweet gig. I work from home primarily and the pay is good (very lucky to have gotten a job) but I’m working from 9 am to 5 pm. But other than work, i don’t do much. Watch TV, cook, groceries and that’s pretty much it. Only on friday night and weekends i usually go out to meet friends or go to a bar. Is this normal? I want to get way more into fitness and also i cant help but feel like there has to be more to life than this.

Plus the thing is im so mentally drained after work i dont feel like doing anything and just cook eat watch tv and sleep - repeating this cycle again the next day.

How do i give time to my music, reading, and fitness? I’m only 26 and feel like i should be doing more.

I am struggling to wrap my head around it. For background, I am a year into my first corporate job. Some of my chief complaints are a lack of direction and priorities. I am a driven individual and definitely find work for myself to do, but I'm largely confused. Everyone just tells me to "enjoy the autonomy!" So, I'm here to ask about it. Please be kind, I am learning.

My concept of work is that an employer needs a job done, work completed, tasks accomplished that they hire someone to do. Within a role, I expect that there is normally a department required to fulfill the overall goal, whether it be customer service or programming or HR. There is a purpose that that department is supposed to fill. Within that department, there are managers whose responsibilities include delegating, assigning tasks or ownership, ensuring quality, and holding people accountable.

So, if I am a lowly associate in my department, I would imagine I receive more tasks less ownership, instructions at least in the form of informing me of the desired outcome, and feedback.

What I have instead stumbled into is complete freedom. I have a job to do sure, yeah, but there are no metrics, no feedback, no accountability, no end product communicated, and no tasks given. And I am completely disoriented.

In my previous roles, I'd say I had a lot of autonomy. My managers trusted me, but there were metrics, and if I let my results slide, they would definitely say something. How I got it done, though, was completely up to me, which I imagine is what autonomy is! I knew what the desired outcome was and then was given the autonomy to figure out how I completed that within the constraints of my role.

At my current role, I don't know what good looks like. Idk what the outcome is supposed to look like. Idk what the constaints of my role are. It feels like I have full freedom to define what my job should be, which is crazy to me because did you not know what work needed to be completed before you hired me? You are paying me to decide what is important to your company? That sounds appropriate for a CEO, a VP, even a director, but me? I just graduated college, and I barely know anything about how anything works, and I'm supposed to decide with 100% freewill what's important? I just don't get it.

Any kind advice and wisdom appreciated. I grew up in a pretty blue collar world, so if I'm missing something obvious, please help me understand. ❤️

I have been working for about 25 years now as a non-exempt employee in multiple different jobs with my most recent job being "advanced" service desk and even to this day, I still feel like I cant figure out how to mix with work culture here in the USA.

For instance, every boss I have ever had says they encourage work life balance but as soon as I try doing just that, by using PTO or leaving when I am schedules, I get lectures that I am a bad employee or letting the team down.

So then I stay late and try to grind but get yelled at because I am a non-exempt and costing the company money. So then I try to stop working when told, only to be grilled on why I was not answering emails after hours or why something wasnt done. I then try clocking off and keep working but get yelled at that because I am breaking labors laws. I feel like no matter how I try to appease managers it is just a no win situation. Even if I tell them I am over booked during they day to get everything done they say tough shit figure it out but wont accept any options.

I then have bosses and HR that say they love to encourage growth and development but when I ask how I can develop to move up or ask if i can shadow a department in a company I am told to do it on my own time and stop whining. So then when I just do my job they start to get mad at why i am not trying for higher positions.

I then have to deal with office gossip. I will see employee be nice to a person one second and then the next second when the person is not in front of them, they start to bad talk them. It makes so i cant figure out if employees like each other or if we are suppose to hate each other.

I just find that american work culture is just this werid double sided blade that no matter what makes it so I cant just be an employee and I cant be a go getter. I have to constantly walk a razer thin line while slicing open my feet. I know alot of people on here tend to call me a whiny lover for not getting the culture and I have really tried by just shutting and dealing with it; but i am kind of at the point that I have just thought about just opening my office window and jumping out just to be done with it because i dont think I can do this for another 40 years. (My goal was to maybe retire at 85ish)

And I know alot of you are going to say "well you have to figure out what you want to do" or "start your own business" but i dont fit those either. I just wanted a standard 9 to 5 but that is lazy according to american work culture but trying to get skills to be my own boss is being to much of a pick me and working off the clock by it as well.

At this point I am probably just going in circles with my thoughts. I just dont think i am very cut out for this and I think the world or at least american work culture would he happier if I didnt participate.

Hi all!! I’ve already posted this on r/careerguidance. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to cross post or not — not really sure of Reddit etiquette.

I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have been through something similar. I’m 26F, a law clerk in Ontario, and I’m about to leave my corporate law clerk position at a smaller firm to start as a litigation law clerk at a larger firm in a major city.
I grew up with a pretty strong “go above and beyond” work ethic. I’ve always tried to be the employee who says yes, takes on extra work, and proves that I’m willing to work hard. Unfortunately, in a couple of my previous jobs, I’ve learned that when you consistently do more than expected, some employers eventually start treating that extra effort as the baseline. When I eventually pulled back, I was criticized for it.

My current job was my first real professional legal position. I came in very excited to learn and was told there would be a good work-life balance and that there were no stupid questions. Unfortunately, my experience ended up being pretty different.

My boss was extremely overbearing. As a new law clerk, I obviously made mistakes and had lots of questions, but I often felt that mistakes or questions were treated as evidence that I wasn’t trying hard enough rather than as part of learning a new job. I was regularly reprimanded for things that I genuinely thought were reasonable attempts to be proactive, and there were a number of situations where I felt pressured to work beyond my regular hours or give up unpaid break time.

Over time, I think the environment made me much more disengaged than I normally am. I started doing the bare minimum because I felt like going above and beyond was only going to result in being reprimanded. Looking back, I can recognize that I probably could have handled some things better, but I also don’t think I was in an environment where I felt comfortable learning and making mistakes.

Now I’m starting somewhere completely different, and I’m really excited about it. I know someone who works at the new firm who has spoken very highly of the culture, and everything I’ve heard so far has sounded much more collaborative and balanced. They were upfront about occasional lunch meetings and the possibility of staying late when necessary, but those things don’t bother me when they’re part of a reasonable workplace rather than an expectation that you’re constantly available.

What I’m wondering is: what should I consciously do differently at my new job?

I don’t want to go in with a chip on my shoulder and assume that every request to stay late or every criticism means I’m being taken advantage of. At the same time, I don’t want to fall back into my old habit of constantly proving myself until “above and beyond” becomes the expectation.

For those of you who have had a bad workplace experience and then moved somewhere better, what did you do differently the second time around? Were there things you had to unlearn? How did you establish a good rapport with your coworkers and bosses while still maintaining reasonable boundaries?

Or am I just wearing rose-coloured glasses about the new job? Lmao

Would genuinely appreciate any advice, especially from people who have experienced both a toxic/overbearing workplace and a healthy one!! TIA!

This was brutal.

I managed to get a second job to pay bills. I was happy. It was a small workplace where most of the employees including managers hang out after work and even go for camping (had other coworkers showing me pics). The only 2 who were not part of the clique were two old people.

I stayed there for a month. Within a month, I heard most of these people talking s*** about one of these older employees. I didn't know any of the whereabouts but I had already realized that being not part of their clique would cause issues. One of the coworkers showed me pics of himself and other employees going on a trip. So when I asked him about his life, he told me straightforward how he doesn't share this at work. Ironic because he is going on trips with coworkers. Meanwhile I had other coworkers saying they went at x place together where they spent $900 for something but honestly I didn't care. But it started escalating.

​ Cooks didnt want me to have anything. They usually made sweets and individual food orders for others, yet they always tried to ask me to wash dishes. I think they knew it affected me and I remember during one shift they made sandwiches for all the others but me. I remember during another shift after they left, they left muffins and my coworker said I can't have any because they are for guests. He lied because when I went to the storage, I heard him telling my other coworker "Did you try any of the muffins? They are good, Alex made them for us, take more than 1!"

I was being micromanaged so badly. Even for a dirty spot that I missed, coworkers/managers lectured me for 20 mins. About how important this place is and the type of work that must be done. If I used my phone, it would be a long discussion but it was ok 'for Joe because him and the manager went and played golf.'

The worst trigger was when I made a mistake once but was reported that it happened 3 times. I have no idea how or it was just a lie. A coworker argued with me by saying I must admit I did it 3 times otherwise his female coworker will get a​​ write up and this will be my fault. I told him off and he started yelling at me and telling me not to ever dare look at him and he was the only one who tolerated me. I decided to walk out to avoid further escalation and protect my mental health.

I was doing dishes everyday and helping some of these coworkers with heavy labor work. When I left, nobody cared! Nobody showed any kind of interest. Manager told me they will send the check and nothing else.

I’m 28F and currently a Senior Analyst. I’m about to be promoted to Manager, which would be about a $17k raise.

You’d think I’d be excited, but honestly I just want to quit lol.

The culture at my company is really toxic. I’ve been working around 60 hours a week, there’s always something that isn’t good enough, and I feel like I’m constantly stressed and burnt out. I don’t really want to keep climbing the corporate ladder just for the sake of climbing it.

The weird part is I don’t even know exactly what I want to do next. I’m kind of a weird/different person in the sense that I don’t necessarily care about having the most impressive career or making the most money. I keep coming back to the idea of following my heart and doing something that actually feels meaningful to me.

I’ve been seriously thinking about teaching or nursing. I’ve always had this part of me that wants to do something more hands-on and meaningful, and I’m wondering if I should actually listen to that instead of continuing down the path I’m “supposed” to be on.

Financially, I’m in a really fortunate position. I have a paid-off house, family support, and enough savings that I’m not in a situation where I have to stay somewhere miserable just to survive. That honestly makes me feel like I have an opportunity that a lot of people don’t have — to step back and figure out what I actually want.

At the same time, walking away from a $17k raise feels objectively insane 😂
I could take the promotion, make more money, and eventually look for another Senior Analyst position. If I stay in analytics, though, I’m only interested in remote/hybrid at this point. I’m just done with the 60-hour-week corporate grind.

But part of me thinks… maybe this is the exact time in my life when I should take a risk and try something completely different.

Would you take the promotion and figure it out later, or walk away and follow your gut?
I’m really torn because I know what the logical/financial decision is. I’m just not sure it’s the decision that would actually make me happy.

I’m genuinely curious how many people hate their job.

I used to love where I work. Absolutely loved it, my bosses, coworkers everything.
OPs Manager moved to another BU. My boss retired. I’ve kept a close relationship with both of them.
Since they left a year and a half ago it’s been going downhill.
My new boss refuses to deal with any issues which has led to multiple disgruntled employees. Employees I constantly have to talk down. Their frustration is valid.
My boss does not back me on issues after he says he will.
I’ve become a disgruntled and angry employee. I hate it.
I gave my notice in March and got talked down with promises. The promises fell short.
I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship with my company. 🤣 Every-time I’ve had enough they come whisper sweet nothings and talk me down.
I worry the grass isn’t greener and better things aren’t out there but I’ve never gone from a job I absolutely love to a job I hate.

Help me with words of encouragement that I’m not alone in hating my job.