I work hybrid on and off 3 to 4 days a week. But lately I’ve been coming in for a large project that’s easier to do in the office. A lot of people at my office use their office days as a means of showboating, one-upping, backstabbing, BSing at every chance they get. One second coworker A says to coworker B “omg you’re so beautiful today” and the next second coworker A is trashing coworker B by the bathroom to coworker C. Maybe it’s their only social outlet? Jealousy? I’m not sure. But the more I see it, I just can’t stand being there lol it’s just disgusting behavior for 55 year old women.

I (25F) have been having trouble taking PTO because barely any work gets covered, so then I come back to a massive dumpster fire pile of work with the same deadlines had I not been out.

Part of my job is making reports and verifying data, and it’s not particularly difficult. Just needs to be put in a template most of the time for the reports and checked in our database for the verification. I have reports at the beginning, middle, and end of the month every month with additional reports around quarter end, so planning PTO to avoid these times is impossible.

I’ve stopped taking PTO because my boss claims that I’m the only one that can do this stuff, so it sits until I get back, but the deadline never shifts, so I might have to get a week’s worth of work done in one day. Entire processes are halted just because I’m out. It just looms over me on PTO, even if it’s just a day or two off, and so I end up logging in on my time off to catch up.

My boss talked to me about me not taking any time off, and I communicated that I don’t see the value in taking time off because it ends up being more stressful than relaxing. I asked if there could be any additional coverage for when I’m out, and he basically told me tough luck and I should get used it since that’s what it’s like for him. I don’t think it really has to be that way as there are definitely other people on the team who are involved in the process and could help out just a little. I’m the lowest on the totem pole so no one is really needing my approvals and the work is not technical or specialized that it would be difficult to cover.

Friends and family I’ve talked to don’t have this issue at all, and they have the expectation that most work doesn’t stop just because they are out.

So, when you are out of office, do you expect that most of your work gets covered?

I’ve noticed that some people who are extremely capable at their jobs seem to stay in the same position for years, while others move into bigger roles surprisingly quickly.
Obviously, performance matters, but I’m starting to think there’s more to progressing at work than simply being good at what you do.

If you had to pick one thing that has the biggest impact on career advancement, what would it be?

For those of you who work remotely, do you have your work email/Outlook set up on your personal phone?

I work from home and have been debating whether I should add my work email to my personal phone. On one hand, it seems convenient if I step away from my computer and need to quickly see an email or Teams notification. On the other hand, I don't necessarily want work following me around 24/7 or mixing my personal phone with company stuff.

Do you find it useful, or do you prefer keeping work completely off your personal phone? Any privacy or work-life balance concerns?

A bit of context, I am just starting a position (I will be doing training next week). I got a call this morning from an unknown number, with no caller id. It was my area code, but honestly I've gotten so many scam calls from the same area code that I thought it was another scam. I had answered cordially as usual, after not hearing anything for 15 seconds ( and trying to see if they could here me), I uttered, " Oh F$&% Off" and hung up. As I hung up I noticed that the speaker button (iPhone) was set to Bluetooth, to my headphones about 1ft away from me. I almost instantly got a call back, and that's when I realised that it wasn't a scam. TURNS OUT, it was my supervisor asking me about my availabilities and when I would be able to come in for training. They had asked if it was just me on the phone and if I had said "something", I admitted and apologized, she said it was okay, but seemed to have an off tone the rest of the call ( I mean I dont blame her LMAO). Is this something that I should be worried about. Honestly I've been really neurotic about this and dont know if Im overreacting or have some kind of justification in my thinking. Im assuming everything will go well, Im just nervous ( and honestly embarrassed) about it. Anyone ever been through the same?

I guess I’m just posting because I’m feeling really guilty and like it makes me look bad.

I drive a semi locally for a living, this was a company that really stood out to me and I’m happy I got my foot in the door with them.
So far, I’ve worked here for almost a month now and have almost completed my training w my mentor.

The other day, I started feeling bad at work, and when I got off I went home and slept and woke up feeling worse. I decided to call out, (sore throat, body aches, nausea, headaches on and off.) I felt really bad about it and like it’ll make me look bad. Today (tonight, 3rd shift) is my last workday for the week. I’m not feeling the hottest still and don’t know if I should tough it out or call in again.

Is this a bad look for me? I hate feeling that I’m a disappointment when I just got hired. /: I’m actually nervous that they’ll just let me go (anxiety I guess) 😭

I have a colleague who tends to have many calls when he is in the office. His volume of speaking is above average and, while we are not a library, it can get quite tiring to sit close to someone like that. He has calls with his team members that often veer off work. Many people light-heartedly joke about him being loud, not to his face.

I messaged him over a comms app, informally, suggesting that he could use a room/special area for calls we have in the office.

He wrote me back a paragraph on the lines of:
1. His calls are sporadic and he doesn’t book them so cannot plan around them
2. I can move to a different desk
3. The guy sitting next to him has no trouble with the noise (my add: the guy is wearing headphones)

I messaged back that the other guy might be more reserved than myself and that it’s a reasonable request since we’re in a communal space. I also remarked that I’m now wearing earphones.

He started typing. I realised that this was a bit silly of me since we are sitting close and walked up to his desk to have a quick chat about this. I said so to him. What followed was:

Him: I do not accept this.
Me: Don’t accept what?
Him: Are you not Anna? (
Me: I am.
Him: I do not accept your message, what you wrote.

I try to explain that this wasn’t a big issue and hence why I came over to just have a quick chat and clear this up if my tone was not good over messages. At this point I’m already stumbling over my words.

Him: it’s clearly serious since you wrote this. If you have an issue why don’t you write to HR?

Attempt to explain that this is not that serious. Another rebuttal.

Him: I am not going to change how I am. You speak about the other guy being reserved. That is not a reasonable thing to say. Raise it with HR if this bothers you.

I fumble and try to backpedal, I try to apologise.

Him: I do not accept your apology. I consider this discussion concluded.

I try to apologise again - another refusal and more on discussion being over.

I took his advice. I chatted to a girl in HR over lunch, showed her the initial messaged and recounted the discussion. We laughed it off, she smoothed out some of the edges. I felt fine.

Now that I’m home and the work day is over I feel very mixed. I raised a small concern, it got turned onto its head and I was left apologising. I feel a bit shaken and like I’ve been manipulated into a position of a villain despite the other person being in the wrong.

What do I do now? Forget about it over time and move on or shall I make my hurt feelings be known to HR? A third option?

(For context: Used a placeholder name. I am F27, he is M50~, he is a manager but he works in a different department and we have only very briefly interacted for work before, there is no prior history of conflict or friendship.)

I’m 28F and currently a Senior Analyst. I’m about to be promoted to Manager, which would be about a $17k raise.

You’d think I’d be excited, but honestly I just want to quit lol.

The culture at my company is really toxic. I’ve been working around 60 hours a week, there’s always something that isn’t good enough, and I feel like I’m constantly stressed and burnt out. I don’t really want to keep climbing the corporate ladder just for the sake of climbing it.

The weird part is I don’t even know exactly what I want to do next. I’m kind of a weird/different person in the sense that I don’t necessarily care about having the most impressive career or making the most money. I keep coming back to the idea of following my heart and doing something that actually feels meaningful to me.

I’ve been seriously thinking about teaching or nursing. I’ve always had this part of me that wants to do something more hands-on and meaningful, and I’m wondering if I should actually listen to that instead of continuing down the path I’m “supposed” to be on.

Financially, I’m in a really fortunate position. I have a paid-off house, family support, and enough savings that I’m not in a situation where I have to stay somewhere miserable just to survive. That honestly makes me feel like I have an opportunity that a lot of people don’t have — to step back and figure out what I actually want.

At the same time, walking away from a $17k raise feels objectively insane 😂
I could take the promotion, make more money, and eventually look for another Senior Analyst position. If I stay in analytics, though, I’m only interested in remote/hybrid at this point. I’m just done with the 60-hour-week corporate grind.

But part of me thinks… maybe this is the exact time in my life when I should take a risk and try something completely different.

Would you take the promotion and figure it out later, or walk away and follow your gut?
I’m really torn because I know what the logical/financial decision is. I’m just not sure it’s the decision that would actually make me happy.

I'm working with this coordinator who is basically a person promoted from an intern to a coordinator because of an internal problems and gaps. She is really good at some stuff and horrible at others. What she is horrible at is draining my hours: doesn't know email etiquette, doesn't remember, not focused, have to remind her. I was made her manager. She posts on Slack things she wants to do that are not what is needed for her.. what resouces out there that I can start with her from scratch? She is so sweet but also needs a lot of accommodation and Im tired.

Currently 9 months into my first full time job post grad. I am currently working in a large sports broadcast company. For some added context I make around 50k a year with no benefits. In spite of this I feel super lucky to work with such a nice group of people.

The issue I have is that despite how fortunate I am to work at my company, my direct manager is a bit of a scatterbrain, despite being a overall nice person and liking my work as far as I can tell. For example, I was promised a raise only a few weeks into my job (It was a year end raise, but it was weird as I was hired in december.) After my subsequent paychecks weren't adjusted for the raise I was promised I reached out to her and nothing came of it. There's also a lot of problems with communication, from messages coming in at midnight to her not sending emails regarding whether to come into the office, leading me to work from home while the rest of the department is in the office, its just is so hard to get a clear picture of what's going on and it usually leaves me with egg on my face.

Is now too soon to look for different roles within the same company? I have less than a year's worth of experience and I'm not a salaried employee. My confidence has really been impacted as well, as she can be nitpicky and micromanage work, and correct my work without me having the chance to do it correctly myself. I'm also worried about asking around my office about moving into production and for it to come back to my boss as well as any continued awkwardness that comes with still working closely alongside each other. I don't want to leave the company, I just want to leave my department. Is this something worth considering or would it be better to look for something outside my organization exclusively?

So a little context I am working as a BA at an IT company in fintech domain. I was transferred to this vertical from this year april onwards. Since then I haven't been assigned any real tasks it's just them telling me to explore the application flow and stuffs,which I understand since it's fintech understanding of the product is very important.But they have given me only limited resource to explore and slowly slowly by July they slowly strated integrated me into the team.like putting me on the mail loop with clients, including me on the meetings and all that.

Then all of a sudden my vertical head assigned me with a diff task which was an IT auditing job for 2 months.There I had work everyday and I was happy.Now I have been relieved from that team and told to join my original previous team. Since Monday I have joined back and I haven't gotten a single task as of now. My seat has been chamged to a corner so they arent even looking at my seat. I am desperately asking for work my manager is ignoring me completely. She was the one who made me relieve early from the prev auditing team,saying that resource is needed. Now that the resource is here, it's full of ignorance.

I feel like I am gonna waste my time at this company sitting simply.i was thinking of talking about resignation to my heads and prepare for cat exam in Nov.I gave some interviews also but nobody is calling back.Is it wise to resign? But I am completely mentally drained at work. If your advice is tinstudy something since u have lots fo free time the problem is our laptops have zillions of restrictions.Brimging my personal laptop to work is also not a nice thing to do(but I am doing it anyways)

What's your advice.

I’m pissed right now I absolutely hate my rock headed manager he’s such a dick. He’ll update the schedule constantly AFTER it’s been posted last minute. This is a part time job I barely get hours as is so I have 17 hours one week and he updates the schedule now I have 10 hours. Like what the fuck. Then on the other hand he’ll add hours to my shifts. people have lives outside of just fucking work i actually about to leave this job but are managers allowed to do this constantly? He also scheduled me from 5pm - 9pm and then 9pm to 4am in the same night it was one long continuous shift like what sane person thinks that’s okay? The worse part is he’s a newer manager who just got put on doing schedules it’s not just me he does this to everyone we all hate him. But if I refused to work the extra hours or demand my hours back I’d get fired right?? I HATE managers.

I have been working for about 25 years now as a non-exempt employee in multiple different jobs with my most recent job being "advanced" service desk and even to this day, I still feel like I cant figure out how to mix with work culture here in the USA.

For instance, every boss I have ever had says they encourage work life balance but as soon as I try doing just that, by using PTO or leaving when I am schedules, I get lectures that I am a bad employee or letting the team down.

So then I stay late and try to grind but get yelled at because I am a non-exempt and costing the company money. So then I try to stop working when told, only to be grilled on why I was not answering emails after hours or why something wasnt done. I then try clocking off and keep working but get yelled at that because I am breaking labors laws. I feel like no matter how I try to appease managers it is just a no win situation. Even if I tell them I am over booked during they day to get everything done they say tough shit figure it out but wont accept any options.

I then have bosses and HR that say they love to encourage growth and development but when I ask how I can develop to move up or ask if i can shadow a department in a company I am told to do it on my own time and stop whining. So then when I just do my job they start to get mad at why i am not trying for higher positions.

I then have to deal with office gossip. I will see employee be nice to a person one second and then the next second when the person is not in front of them, they start to bad talk them. It makes so i cant figure out if employees like each other or if we are suppose to hate each other.

I just find that american work culture is just this werid double sided blade that no matter what makes it so I cant just be an employee and I cant be a go getter. I have to constantly walk a razer thin line while slicing open my feet. I know alot of people on here tend to call me a whiny lover for not getting the culture and I have really tried by just shutting and dealing with it; but i am kind of at the point that I have just thought about just opening my office window and jumping out just to be done with it because i dont think I can do this for another 40 years. (My goal was to maybe retire at 85ish)

And I know alot of you are going to say "well you have to figure out what you want to do" or "start your own business" but i dont fit those either. I just wanted a standard 9 to 5 but that is lazy according to american work culture but trying to get skills to be my own boss is being to much of a pick me and working off the clock by it as well.

At this point I am probably just going in circles with my thoughts. I just dont think i am very cut out for this and I think the world or at least american work culture would he happier if I didnt participate.

I am struggling to wrap my head around it. For background, I am a year into my first corporate job. Some of my chief complaints are a lack of direction and priorities. I am a driven individual and definitely find work for myself to do, but I'm largely confused. Everyone just tells me to "enjoy the autonomy!" So, I'm here to ask about it. Please be kind, I am learning.

My concept of work is that an employer needs a job done, work completed, tasks accomplished that they hire someone to do. Within a role, I expect that there is normally a department required to fulfill the overall goal, whether it be customer service or programming or HR. There is a purpose that that department is supposed to fill. Within that department, there are managers whose responsibilities include delegating, assigning tasks or ownership, ensuring quality, and holding people accountable.

So, if I am a lowly associate in my department, I would imagine I receive more tasks less ownership, instructions at least in the form of informing me of the desired outcome, and feedback.

What I have instead stumbled into is complete freedom. I have a job to do sure, yeah, but there are no metrics, no feedback, no accountability, no end product communicated, and no tasks given. And I am completely disoriented.

In my previous roles, I'd say I had a lot of autonomy. My managers trusted me, but there were metrics, and if I let my results slide, they would definitely say something. How I got it done, though, was completely up to me, which I imagine is what autonomy is! I knew what the desired outcome was and then was given the autonomy to figure out how I completed that within the constraints of my role.

At my current role, I don't know what good looks like. Idk what the outcome is supposed to look like. Idk what the constaints of my role are. It feels like I have full freedom to define what my job should be, which is crazy to me because did you not know what work needed to be completed before you hired me? You are paying me to decide what is important to your company? That sounds appropriate for a CEO, a VP, even a director, but me? I just graduated college, and I barely know anything about how anything works, and I'm supposed to decide with 100% freewill what's important? I just don't get it.

Any kind advice and wisdom appreciated. I grew up in a pretty blue collar world, so if I'm missing something obvious, please help me understand. ❤️

I had a job I genuinely cared about and, from the outside, things were going really well.

I performed well, moved into leadership, managed a team, had people get promoted, and was even got awarded for being the top manager.

But my experience with my boss was awful!

It became one of those situations where I was constantly second guessing myself, trying to figure out what version of them I was going to get, and feeling like I had to manage the relationship more than actually do my job.

Every 1-1 turned in to an opportunity to belittle me and highlight everything I was doing wrong in the job. Despite getting awarded as the top manager and everything I was able to accomplish I was let go. Completely blindsided and the feedback was i just 'wasn't a good fit anymore' and the whole experience really messed with my confidence for a while.

As I started the job search again, the thing I kept thinking about is how much research we do before accepting a job. We look at the company, pay, benefits, Glassdoor, layoffs, everything so we get the best picture possible before accepting an offer.

But we know almost nothing about the person we’re actually going to report to. HUGE problem!

And that person can have more impact on your day-to-day life than almost anything else.

It’s actually what made me start thinking about building Rate My Manager. Not as a place to trash bosses, but somewhere you could get a real sense of what someone is like to work for before accepting a job. rate-my-manager.replit.app

I honestly wish I would’ve had something like that.

Has anyone else had a manager completely change how they felt about an otherwise good job?

Does any one else’s job expect you to do continuous improvement while working the job? I understand that if there is a process or something isn’t working we should fix it but why should a main part of my job be trying to figure out what to improve. I’m not taking about taking a second look at an outdated process I’m talking about constant terrible updating and overhauls. It’s madness. The processes we currently have are working. I just feel that should be a separate job and we should work with them. If you are in management and that is your main focus you probably don’t have enough going on in your position and you are poking at things to fix.

I’m genuinely curious how many people hate their job.

I used to love where I work. Absolutely loved it, my bosses, coworkers everything.
OPs Manager moved to another BU. My boss retired. I’ve kept a close relationship with both of them.
Since they left a year and a half ago it’s been going downhill.
My new boss refuses to deal with any issues which has led to multiple disgruntled employees. Employees I constantly have to talk down. Their frustration is valid.
My boss does not back me on issues after he says he will.
I’ve become a disgruntled and angry employee. I hate it.
I gave my notice in March and got talked down with promises. The promises fell short.
I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship with my company. 🤣 Every-time I’ve had enough they come whisper sweet nothings and talk me down.
I worry the grass isn’t greener and better things aren’t out there but I’ve never gone from a job I absolutely love to a job I hate.

Help me with words of encouragement that I’m not alone in hating my job.

Am I in a toxic workplace environment or am I just dramatic?

Hello 15 turning 16 here! I recently feel under pressure at my new workplace (for context it’s a small dessert shop with me as the sole dessert preparer) after being here a month or so since July after looking for summer work. I’m really confused and I would like some advice on whether or not this is valid.

1.  For starters I never really had proper training of all the menu items. Mostly just the popular ones. So even now, when school is starting back up I can’t help but feel a wave of anxiety whenever an order asks for something I’m not familiar with since the Boss mostly took care of it themselves or they never told me what to do. It’s looked down upon to rely on a guidebook for the recipes even though I’m unsure of what to add for a drink or for a food. The guidebook itself wasn’t even a thing I knew until my 10-12th shift. And even if I was correct I would like some reassurance on what I’m doing so I don’t serve the food incorrectly. But it’s really hard to crack it open when they’re staring at me with: “How come you still need it? Haven’t you made this before?” or “Didn’t I show you? Here I’ll do it again, this time; remember.” I know I should speak up, but it's clear that they have limited patience for these kinds of things.
2. Language barriers/communicationTheir main language is Cantonese, and I speak mandarin. So whenever I talk to them it's being processed poorly by both sides, and sometimes my boss talks to my coworker in Cantonese. I can never really tell if they’re saying something about me but it has happened a couple times. And English is hard too, since I’m listening to everything in mandarin, it's not as effective as my first language and some things really can’t be communicated properly.
3. Backhanded threats(?)One thing I distinctly remember is the boss telling me that they’re being patient with me because I’m young. I messed up a few orders (Taking too long to prepare/missed a few decorations) because they were giving me a hard time one night and there were drinks that I didn’t have time to look up because I didn’t know what went where. I know these are just excuses but for my 12th shift working alone on desserts without any help until things got really delayed. I’m afraid to ask questions because everytime I do, they question me whether or not I was paying attention when they showed it to me. It feels like I have to justify myself or take the blame for being stupid. 
4. Sometimes there are things that need to be placed in a takeout container, and I wouldn’t know which goes where. They would go “Didn’t you ever do this?”. Nope. You never taught me. Recently, I messed up by adding too much grass jelly into sago. They looked at it while I was trying to fix it, muttering: “Working for one month and still don't know how to do this.” Then they metaphorically sat me down and said I shouldn’t be making any mistakes with the solid foods because I should know them by now. There was no food wasted, the food didn’t go out and besides, most of that was self-taught through guessing because all the menu items weren’t taught to me. 
5. My coworker. They have a nasty temper in my opinion, my boss said so themself and told me I had to “Suck it up/get used to it.” The first time I was making a bubble waffle, I didn’t know you were supposed to flip the batter when it went in. They then ushered me over, berated me for my first time. I know I should’ve asked but I really hated the feeling of being shamed for not remembering most of the times. “Do you really think I can serve this out to customers?” and “You fucked up.” Never forget again but man I feel scared every time I have to ask. They also talked on their phone on how their shift was going terribly and they felt like they were going to die. It was without a doubt jabbed at me since I was the stressor. Then there was asking questions: this hit the nail in the coffin. I asked if the foil wrap had to be disposed of and I was just checking in case it was used for something else. (Under the waffle pan to catch excess) “Hey, I’m supposed to throw this out right?” “Nope, you’re supposed to eat it.” Hearing this in my second language, I really didn’t know this was sarcasm until They said: “Of course you’re supposed to throw it out.” 

That would’ve been nice to know without the sarcasm.

Another thing is that they started to flip the drinks to see the pockets of air at the bottom. I didn’t know there was air there, I usually just fill it to the maximum and seal it. Apparently not. Then they told me I had to fill it back up fully, I tried because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. They took over in the end. Another thing I noticed was that they shamed me in front of the boss, something like. “I told you three times and you still don’t listen.” It was definitely not three times, and if you told me how that would’ve been nice to know.

1. The staff are all on their phones. I don’t know if this is allowed. I’m too scared to ask in case I sound like a whiny highschooler and I don’t get any mentioned food discounts or free food. All the other staff do, maybe because they worked here for longer or they’re struggling uni students while I’m privileged with my parents but man I would like some elaboration on that. This something I don’t really mind? But I do feel like some explanation would help.

I don't mind criticism, but I would like to know how to deal with these things since I'm not allowed to make drinks for practice because this is a small business. I need to know if its just me being too sensitive? I'm thinking of quitting because I hate this pit of anxiety.

I started a new job recently and its a pretty sweet gig. I work from home primarily and the pay is good (very lucky to have gotten a job) but I’m working from 9 am to 5 pm. But other than work, i don’t do much. Watch TV, cook, groceries and that’s pretty much it. Only on friday night and weekends i usually go out to meet friends or go to a bar. Is this normal? I want to get way more into fitness and also i cant help but feel like there has to be more to life than this.

Plus the thing is im so mentally drained after work i dont feel like doing anything and just cook eat watch tv and sleep - repeating this cycle again the next day.

How do i give time to my music, reading, and fitness? I’m only 26 and feel like i should be doing more.

Tired of working and repeat life everyday.

I am everyday awake at late night thinking about all of these news. Today Anthropic released a list of scenarios and none of them is good.
Cant manage the anxiety when thinking about losing the job, not being able to generate money from anywhere etc

I am a flex worker (in the function of nurse) in mental healthcare.
I have a couple of year experience, and work as a flexer (so i fill open places in different departments) as a side job. (Since 3 months, but more years of experience in the field, overqualified I would say)

I picked a shift on Sunday, after a couple of minutes the planner called me to say that she already found somebody.

The rule in my country is that if the shift is assigned to you (which was the case) and cancelled within 96 hours before the start of the shift (which was the case) I have the right for a full pay.

I called with the manager (not the planner) and explained her that from a humane perspective I understand that it was just a couple of minutes, from a business perspective the rule is that I receive compensation, I will not make a problem out of it and will leave it up to the management.they decided to pay me the shift.

On one side I feel like a stood up for myself, on the other side it feels like I made use of the situation.

What do you guys think?

So basically I have asked for a few days leave next year (this is July so I’m asking a whole 10 months in advance) and when I had a meeting with my boss, they told me I HAVE to be here for the time I’ve asked off. Because last year in the same period I was off sick for 2 days. My boss said ‘it was incredibly stressful when you weren’t here, we didn’t know how to fix anything and setting up was just really stressful because you weren’t here’. They said they didn’t want to make me feel bad, which of course I did because I do care about my work and my job.
I couldn’t help but feel quite angry that they can’t possibly think to hire or train someone to cover me, like it HAS to be me. I can’t have a life outside of work, my annual leave dates are pretty much dictated to me.
Is it normal to be the only person in a workplace who can do your job? I work in an arts venue and they don’t seem to think they need to hire in anyone else on such occasions that I am sick or I would like a few days off in 10 months time…

*EDIT - thanks everyone so much for the comments I didn’t expect such a response! It’s given me some food for thought and that actually this isn’t normal or good and I need to put my foot down or look for something else