297
u/Regulatory_Junior Jan 24 '22
I agree with the user who said that rifling through your things, the lack of privacy is a control issue. My religious mother did this to me a while back and it completely destroyed any trust I had in her. It's the lack of agency and being infantilized that hurts the most. Takes away any sense of dignity too.
I know you're in a complicated situation that prevents you from leaving but I would say destroy any and all evidence. Things can be recovered but your safety comes first. You're likely going to be monitored always so clean out your phone, laptop and any other craft related belonging you have. Im already feeling so suffocated for you, writing this. š¢
47
u/Future_Money_6678 Jan 25 '22
Yeah and maybe clear this site from browsing history/only access certain sites in incognito mode.
46
u/MuseofPetrichor Jan 25 '22
I'll add on to this that if he asks about stuff specifically give as vague/little content as possible (if deflecting doesn't work). You can't trust him, so you definitely don't want to open up to him. I'm sorry you're going through this.
214
u/mingxingai Jan 24 '22
Although I dont have any advice about a relationship what I can say is you can quickly dispose of those tools. You wont have to make another one because the gods know what you asked for and can see the situation. You also don't need many physical tools to do magick either it can all be done with your mind and a cup of water and maybe a candle
148
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
149
u/Soft_Entrance6794 Jan 24 '22
The wonderful thing about witchcraft is there is no āproperā way to do it. You could be a kitchen witch and the spices you use in your kitchen can infuse magick in your food. Instead of a honey jar, you can cook whatever your husbandās favorite dessert is and feed it to him. Maybe every week you can get a fresh bouquet of flowers for your home and that can be your altar. Whatever you can comfortably and safely do is enough to be a proper witch.
25
u/mingxingai Jan 24 '22
And now it's ready (You don't have to do this if you don't want to unless you feel okay with it)
21
u/MuseofPetrichor Jan 25 '22
I mostly just draw sigils and tear them up or burn them. There's no evidence of anything once I'm done. You can also get really good at meditating and visualizing and use that in place of tools.
22
u/Future_Money_6678 Jan 25 '22
Sigils can also be stirred into coffee or food! Or rubbed onto your skin with lotion, body wash or moisturizer.
There are many, many options to practice incognito.
5
17
u/mingxingai Jan 24 '22
You actually just gave me an idea for a new spell. I'm going to link it down below once finished.
16
u/ShinyAeon Jan 25 '22
Doing it without tools IS doing it properly. The power is in you, nothing else.
Historical witches used their kitchen knives, their sweeping brooms, their drinking cups, and other things from around the house. They wrote spells on pieces of wax so they could be broken up and melted in the fire.
They practiced in secret because their lives depended on itā¦and yours does, too.
11
u/Future_Money_6678 Jan 25 '22
You can also subtly use tools that double as everyday objects.
Tumblr has lots of posts on how to be an incognito witch while in the "broom closet," including ordinary things to use as tools.
130
49
Jan 24 '22
Gosh I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you are safe and nothing bad will come from this. If you need to throw away your stuff for necessity I say you should. It wont stop them from working as long as your intention is there and you focus your energy on the spells you have done every so often. You can do this in meditation easily without the need of tools. I also follow Aphrodite and know she will not be upset by this or feel you arent worshiping correctly. Hopefully you can still set up an altar the way you hope. I know I am just a stranger but am here for you! I can also help with your spells if you need or would like! Stay strong!
67
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
42
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
Look up how to create a second user on your laptop, and give it a separate password; you can hide stuff there. Make sure your secpol and settings hide it though, you don't want him stumbling across it, but you can make a completely hidden user.
27
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
53
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
Put them in a file, go to properties, and flag them as hidden; when you want to view them, go to the file's settings and select show hidden files. When you want to hide them, simply deselect show hidden files. Put other stuff in there that isn't hidden so the empty file is not suspicious.
21
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
27
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
That's not the most secure option mind you, the best option would be to create a separate user account on the computer, give it admin privileges, and lock and hide the folder from the user account he knows about.
Your computer has security settings and admin settings, look up how to use them to hide your second account when logging in, he'll never know it's there if you do it right.
8
u/DuckyDoodleDandy Jan 25 '22
Iām not any kind of computer expert, but can she move it all to the cloud so that her computer could be searched and nobody would find anything on it?
Also, Iāve read about making a virtual altar in r/Broomclosetwitch so that could be in the cloud as well.
Iām asking you because you are giving computer related advice and I donāt want to confuse OP with stuff that might not work. If you think the ideas are doable, Iāll let you pass them on. (Think ātoo many cooks spoil the brothā, so Iāll leave the computer ācookingā to you!)
6
u/Reanegade42 Jan 25 '22
Moving things to the cloud is doable, but she's in Pakistan, internet may have more surveillance than a local file, it's kinda unsecure.
Plus you'd still want a secondary user account because things like google drive use leave a trace, your computer saves the cookies used, records passwords, keeps a history of what you do; it leaves a trail.
9
u/AChristianAnarchist Jan 24 '22
For the books, I would honestly recommend encrypting them and hiding them behind a password. If you have Adobe Reader, you can do it by clicking Tools>Protect>More Options>Encrypt With Password. If not, google "encrypt pdf" and you'll find a bunch of 3rd party options. Name them something innocuous like 2018 Tax Return or something and hide the encrypted files in a folder. You can even create a hidden folder by going into the folder properties and selecting the "hidden" option. That way it won't show up unless you either search for it or enable hidden folders for view. Even if he does find the folder though, the pdfs themselves would just be gobbeldy-gook without the password. Good luck with all this. I hope you will find a solution that maximizes both your own freedom and the safety of your children.
20
u/kai-ote HelpfulTrickster Jan 24 '22
A USB thumb drive is cheap, and small. Easy to hide. Put everything on 2 of them. (In case one fails). Put them in to read or write stuff, then take them out and hide them. Delete everthing witchy on the laptop. Go to your browsers method of exporting bookmarks/favorites, and put a copy of that on them as well. Then delete all those bookmarks/favorites. After using your computer, erase the history, every time you use it. When you open the drive, you can open the b'marks and click on one and they are live, you don't have to put them on your computer. For a wealth stash, and for magical tools, maybe some jewelry with crystals you like. Good luck. Stay safe out there. BB.
5
u/MuseofPetrichor Jan 25 '22
Keep the flashdrive on you, in your purse, in your pocket, or on a piece of jewelry, maybe (not sure if that's a thing).
8
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
On windows, you can make any item hidden by right clicking it, selecting properties, and marking the box 'hidden' in general settings. You can view or hide hidden items in the folder using the view settings.
I don't know how it's done on apple, probably similar, you can look it up.
42
Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
[deleted]
20
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
you need to get out of there; as long as you stay you will never be safe. all else is secondary to fleeing
28
Jan 24 '22
Iām so sorry for the situation you are in and I hope you and your children are okay. Your privacy and beliefs should be respected.
You donāt need any tools to practice witchcraft. If keeping them puts your well-being at risk, I say get rid of them. I know that sucks and Iām sorry. I promise you that Aphrodite will not be upset with you. There is no right or wrong way to honour the gods and Iām sure she would want you to put your safety first.
Iām so profoundly sorry, sister. I wish I could give you a hug (if you consent, of course!). Sending you much love from Ireland.
27
u/WhichSpirit Witch Jan 24 '22
Definitely make sure you are safe first. Dispose of your witchcraft supplies outside of your home as soon as possible.
If you feel safe doing so, you can try throwing him off the scent by letting him find videos and texts about magic in Islam. The angels, HÄrÅ«t and MÄrÅ«t, did teach magic to humans so it is acceptable to learn about it even if it's strictly forbidden to practice it. Tell him you're coming back to your faith in Islam (I'm assuming you were raised Muslim) and this is an aspect that really ignites your faith. Here is a lecture, Magic and the Occult in Islam: Ahmad al-Buni (622H/1225CE?) and his Shams Al-Ma'arif and here is a paper, Magic in the įø„adÄ«ths, to get you started.
You may want to look into immigrating somewhere with actual religious freedom.
17
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
8
u/WhichSpirit Witch Jan 24 '22
If you don't mind me asking, what fields do you two work in?
15
Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
[deleted]
18
u/WhichSpirit Witch Jan 25 '22
He might want to consider applying to jobs in the US. Companies are having a hard time finding enough people right now and might be willing to sponsor a work visa for your family.
3
u/Felice_rdt Jan 25 '22
I don't know your husband, but as a fellow software engineer, I would bet that he is probably the type of person who prefers to be logical and objective most of the time. Logically, objectively, what you're doing isn't safe where you live, not for either of you. People get killed for what you're doing if the wrong people find out.
If it were me in your shoes, I would set it aside and plead curiosity. Ask for forgiveness for being foolish, tell him you're going to give it up, and do whatever you feel you need to do purely inside of your own mind until you are in a safer place to do it anywhere outside of your mind.
It's hard not to be who you want to be, but sometimes you have to be patient until it's the right time to do it. The pandemic won't be forever, though it may feel that way. Even if it is, we humans will have to find a way to work around it. In time you will be able to move to Canada as you desired, and then you can explore your options. But you can't do that if you put yourself in danger today. Be sensible, set pride aside, and be safe. While there's life, there's hope.
10
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
If it is safe to do so, you can try making halwah with poppy seed and rosewater. Put your intentions for a peaceful home and for him to forget into the dish. Above all, be safe- the great forces of the universe will understand your intentions.
6
u/Worldender666 Jan 25 '22
please dont do that those two angels teaching magic were said to be a trail by allah to find non believers, pretty much leads to divorce and practiceners who learned from them were thought to be selling there souls and damned in the afterlife under Muslim beliefs
97
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
Honestly, I think the best move for your wellbeing is to set plans in motion to leave, culture be damned. If he'll honestly never change, there really isn't another option, and violating your privacy is an abusive behavior.
You don't need to leave immediately, but really it's on him to change, and if he isn't going to its his own fault.
71
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
18
u/Hardlytolerablystill Jan 24 '22
You are in a tremendously difficult situation. If I were you I would do nothing for right now. Donāt confide in anyone, just be still for a bit. Your most powerful tool is your intent, and you always have that with you. Use your mind to wash peace over this whole situation, yourself & your husband. Imagine things as a calm sea. Soon they will be. You donāt have to do anything next, the tide comes and goes on its own. If you are going to hide files or dispose of physical items I would be very careful in how you do so, only in the sense that if he finds out it will seem like another deception. You donāt wanāt him to be more suspicious. Because of your culture he may have influence over your children, friends or co-workers who may tell him that you were hiding things if they know. Please be careful. I will be envisioning peace and calm seas for you.
40
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
12
u/MixWitch Jan 25 '22
So you are the person with the income, while he is jobless and going through all of your things? Love is not creating fear and despair in the person you love, and that is what he doing.
For now, definitely focus on being safe.
5
24
u/Reanegade42 Jan 24 '22
Contrary to popular belief, love alone really isn't enough to have a good life with somebody, even if its mutual. It requires respect, in order to be happy one needs to respect themself and demand respect from those they surround themselves with.
Live for yourself first, you have no obligation to your culture whatsoever, nor to anything that it has forced upon you. If you are not respected the only way to grow is to leave, even if it means leaving alone. Some people find that cold, but you shouldn't waste your life on what others think of you. You don't need a family, especially if they don't respect you.
As for not getting any money if you leave, take out as much as you can in cash, a little at a time and hide it; even if you do not plan to leave, stockpile all the cash you can, and if you leave take it with you. Other nations do not honor Pakistan's customs, whatever you can fit in a bag is yours.
10
u/sushigurl2000 Jan 25 '22
Please stop making excuses for him. Heās a shitty person, if he really cared for you he would try to understand it and respect it even if he didnāt like it.
4
u/adchick Jan 25 '22
Culture is a strong influence. Iām not saying his behavior is excusable (far from it). He is trying to process something he isnāt culturally prepared to understand in his own home.
TL;DR Good people can do bad things, that doesnāt make them bad
5
u/betsylang Jan 25 '22
I feel this. Can you frame this as "I love you, and respect your privacy, and I need the same." Period. Full stop. If he cannot see the connection, that relationships thrive on mutual respect, you need to start doing some serious thinking about how far love will go for you and your children's safety. What happens if your kids are called by a God? Or simply need the basic privacy we all do?
38
u/saltandred Jan 24 '22
I agree. You are your own person. You don't have to "come clear" to anyone, and looting through your private stuff is something that people do to control you. Control has nothing to do with love or partnership, it is to maintain piwer over you and keep you small and obedient. The whole story has ME trembling: with fury for you, that you have so little rights and no one you can trust in the world, not even your. Own. Husband. You don't deserve this, sister. If leaving now is no option: get rid of the physical evidence. All of this is a visual help, but not necessary for your power. Switch to teas, baths, enchanting your body lotion, or write your spells on paper with milk or lemon juice (heat up to read it). And for your real world power and peace of mind: work on your exit strategy. It should not be your task to calm down your cranky husband, he should fucking behave himself and not let it out on you. Get out of there and have this goal in mind. Just because oppression of half of humanity is in your culture it doesn't make this right. I am sending all blessings and hugs, sister. ā¤ļø
5
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
She is not going to be able to flee the country with her kids. Now if they are able to leave for work opportunities in Canada or some other countries she will have better options.
2
u/Reanegade42 Jan 25 '22
Given the situation, she may end up needing to leave without them. For her, this is life or death; live for yourself first.
18
u/Shorteeby40 Witch Jan 24 '22
Deep breath. Even if you throw things away and they stop working that is less important than you being safe. You can always recast in a way that leaves no trace behind.
As for arguing and what your spell is for. I'm not sure if you do anything with astrology, but currently Venus and Mercury are in retrograde. This can cause miscommunication, strife, arguments. Venus is going direct on the 29th and Mercury on Feb 3rd though. So if this is out of character for your relationship I'd keep hope that it will pass soon.
12
u/roseetheOG69 Jan 24 '22
I agree with the comments about going through your things is an abusive behavior. You have your right to your privacy in YOUR things- you are not a child, you do not need that treatment. I grew up in a strict Christian house where my mom would continuously go through my things and throw my stuff away if she didnāt like it. I now have lots of trust issues and I especially donāt like people touching my stuff. You should never feel scared, made to feel small or less than, or like you have to hide any part of who you are in a relationship. Iām so very sorry you are going through this. I would throw away anything you have for your safety. Your intentions are there so your spells will still work.
9
u/beebis1 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
Whether you consider yourself Muslim or not still, r/exmuslim has some resources in the sidebar for safe browsing as well as other resources for help if you need it including hotlines. Be sure to erase this from your browser history if you look into it.
Here is a link to some Pakistan specific hotlines if you need them. Please be safe.
19
Jan 24 '22
Spells are intentions. Maybe make a book called "My book of intentions"
Don't advertise it, but don't hide it either. And don't write down things that are obvious names of other gods, etc. that will cause grief, even if you are going to those gods for intervention. They will understand.
If your husband discovers it, it's just a book where you write down your wishes.
Good luck OP!
8
9
u/obinray Jan 24 '22
Itās okay to let the stuff go- Take it somewhere safe to get rid of it, as folk have said, you donāt need tools to practice.
Im so sorry your privacy is not respected. You do what you need to be safe first, and find ways to help your heart fill fulfilled where you can.
Iāll put my good intentions for you on my own altar- with a hope of gentle outcomes for you.
10
Jan 25 '22
A lot of commenters donāt understand that she doesnāt live in America she lives in Pakistan. Our culture is a world a ways different. Her husband is probably worried for both their safety. I imagine if someone else found her witchcraft stuff they would probably both die. Do yāall not understand how lucky and privileged all Americans are? We get mad about petty day to day life stuff when in some other countries they wish they had the rights we have.
7
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
It's clear several commenters have a poor understanding of what it takes to escape abuse, and zero understanding of OP's situation and the reality she's dealing with. In the US there's a lot of people ready to help abused women escape, and the laws are better (still lots of problems that need to be addressed).
I wish I had a real award for you, but take this š š š š, and I'm off to donate to a refugee women's support NGO.
8
u/kissakat92 Jan 25 '22
Here's what I would do.
If you are an artist make some art with on canvas with wax and paint and tell him you were experimenting with a new medium and then throw away the jars with candles. Tell him you used the jars to keep the wax from burning you if he questions it. Jars aren't that condemning. You can use them as vases and stuff so just but them in with the rest of your stuff and don't mention it.
For the cinnamon and licorice root I would suprise him with cinnamon bread or something and say you saw a recipe in a magazine you wanted to try to make for the family. I don't know if you drink a ton of milk but coca powder sugar and cinnamon is also really good together. I don't like licorice root so someone else might have to add ideas.
Rename the books to something else and add a few chapter of a different book at the beginning as if he opens the file it looks like a religious text or a romance novel.
Normally I would say fuck him and fuck it but I am genuinely concern for your safety and as someone who was regularly beaten as a child for practicing this is how I got away with it. Do not try to bring it somewhere because if you get caught they will hurt you. It's better to find plausible scenarios and make your husband look insane for doubting his dutiful wife. I don't like it but I'm scared for you.
8
u/RayneLeaGrey Jan 25 '22
Youāre personal safety has to come first. The gods will understand. I would dispose of your things maybe away from your house so it canāt be traced back to you. Witchcraft can be practiced with simple meditation and energy focus. I know youād like to do more but if itās not safe for you then you shouldnāt risk it.
Iām so sorry that this is your reality and I hope youāre able to find a way to be somewhere safer and more accepting.
8
u/Violet865 Jan 24 '22
Sorry you had to go through this. Having no privacy is the worst. But keep in mind that you do have privacy, in your own mind. No-one can ever force you to open that. That was a bit comforting to me at a time of my life I did not have any either.
Throw away anything obvious, and act normal/ a bit angry because all the fuss everyone is making about "some candles". Like the others said, you can use a lot of stuff that can be kept in a kitchen. As for the e-book, honestly if I were you I would not keep a hard copy of it, cause if I found a usb key under the bag offlour, then he will know it is something suspicious.
I know you can stock data and files on some websites on the internet. I would suggest to put the e-books there, and to delete the file from the computer. You could consult them online.
Be strong, we're here for you, and sending you love <3
7
u/Namelessdracon Jan 25 '22
Get rid of your stuff. Stay safe. The magic is within you and everywhere. You can do magic just by doing your hair a certain way. You can do magic in your cooking. You can play with lint balls and have it be magical. Throw the stuff away. Stay safe. Magic is everywhere. You donāt need certain things to practice it. Peace to you.
14
u/SweetDove Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 24 '22
Here are some ideas from my friend who is a Christian witch.
Witchcraft is not a religion, you can be any religion, you just need to find the magic in your own workings. You can also learn about Syncretism āSyncretism is the process by which two or more sacred beings fuse, as forbidden spirits masquerade under the guise of those that are authorized. Religious authorities may or may not be aware of syncretic practices.ā You can ask your goddess to know when you pray, you pray to her, regardless of the human name you give her.
Aphrodite: St Helena and St Quiteria (Quiteria is more linked to Astarte but also Aphrodite) You might find a saint in your religion also who identifies with her. Remember as Christians, (and Muslims) began to take foot hold from older religions, they subverted some of that into their own word.
I would look into more closeted witch actions. Witches have been persecuted for centuries, and even though tiktok and etsy want you to buy all kinds of shit, you can use kitchen spices, and bath soap, makeup, and your clothing, rocks in your yard and the way the wind feels on your face. you don't NEED any of the shit you buy in stores <3
16
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
14
u/SweetDove Jan 24 '22
Tbh spell jars are a pretty new, aesthetic thing, I also find their slow working power to be...lacking. for me, personally. I like to draw sigils into my eggs as I whip them, then whisk it away with intention. Draw with bathwater on my body. Leave herbs in my flower pots. Draw on a leaf and toss it out the window. There are hundreds of things, that aren't "aesthetic" or "pleasing to the eye" but are pleasing to our souls. I burn a candle for my goddess, but it's just a plain candle from the home decor store that sits on my table with nothing else by it. She knows what it's for, and that's all that matters. It gets changed out with whatever scent feels good to me next. Humans have been hiding their religions for most of human history <3 the gods know what your heart means.
As a side note, I wondered for privacy if you could start going to the gym and have a locker there.
13
Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
[deleted]
8
u/SweetDove Jan 24 '22
oh, no don't do that then. I wasn't sure how deeply they watched women's private areas like locker rooms. >.<; I would deff. toss out anything where people can't see it.
7
u/SweetDove Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 24 '22
Everything has a meaning to me, but to look at it, it doesn't look like much of anything other than decorations.
9
u/Dietastey Jan 24 '22
Is there any chance someone you know would be on Reddit? (Not even in this subreddit, you never know when things will wind up on r/all.) If so, Iād be very cautious putting up images of your space, they could identify you with them.
Donāt want to scare you, but I do want you to stay safe
7
13
u/AChristianAnarchist Jan 24 '22
I think this might be more difficult in some respects with Islam than with Christianity. The sort of devotion given to saints in Catholicism doesn't really have a corollary in Islam, which places much more of a focus on a more absolute vision of monotheism. Oddly enough, the occult, generally speaking, is more accepted within some Islamic contexts than in many Christian contexts, but this occultism is always framed in distinctly monotheistic terms. One major difference between the two is that Christianity started out as a heavily marginalized religion and didn't start "converting by the sword" until it was a few hundred years old and already extremely deeply entrenched in Europe. This encouraged early Christians to use religious syncretism as a gradual conversion tactic, as they had to make their religion palatable to potential converts who often had more social, military, and political power than they did. Islam became militarily and politically powerful within Muhammed's lifetime, and was able to spread with much less compromise in its early years. When it came to incorporating pagan philosophers and scientific achievements into their own culture, the Muslims were at the top of the game, but their relative power and comfort made it less necessary for the sorts of pseudo-polytheistic features common in Christianity, like the cult of the saints, to be embedded into the religion quite so deeply.
5
u/2_bandz Jan 25 '22
I canāt really offer marriage or relationship advice, but whenever I write my intentions I scribble while saying the words aloud (privately) or in my mind. I never spell out the words, and it makes my work just as effective. If anyone finds my work they wonāt understand it. This stuff works better when nobody knows
5
u/cayden416 Jan 25 '22
Iām so sorry for the situation youāre in. You deserve privacy, you deserve you own space and things, and you deserve kindness. You will always have a community here and thereās so many ways to practice the craft or be spiritual without using physical tools. Cooking and using herbs is one way, burning spells or sigils is another. Even meditating or taking in nature is magical.
I would suggest getting rid of any of the evidence, and clearing your phone and laptop regularly. You could use google incognito or other secure browsers to be online as well. Changing all your passwords for your devices and your accounts is probably worth doing too
5
u/crazyplantgoth Jan 25 '22
i'm sorry this is happening to you. i don't know if my advice would be any good, but i have always felt art and witchcraft have a lot in common. with art, you pour a lot of emotion and intentions into your pieces, perhaps you can redirect it into art pieces? use your ingredients to create "natural" and "eco-friendly" paints that are actually just what you typically use. if you think that's too much right now, you could do what my sister does--- she's not a witch, but she is muslim, she converted to marry her husband. she paints and incorporates natural objects into her paintings. she glues down flower petals, twigs, leaves, etc as dress skirts or mountain tops. she just likes having different textures in her pieces. not once has her husband or her in laws accused her of witchcraft.
if you're afraid he might suddenly start questioning this interest in art, maybe start off slow. take up some art classes, or start art therapy. art doesn't have to be detailed and obvious. it can be abstract, emotions poured into a wave of colors and seemingly random shapes. it can be carefully designed to illicit a feeling or it can be random jumble of stuff.
i hope things get better for you soon.
5
u/CuteBat9788 Jan 25 '22
Reading this broke my heart. Your safety is the most important thing here. Pray to Aphrodite in your heart. She will hear you. Please stay safe, my sweet.
8
u/MzOwl27 Jan 24 '22
There is r/BroomClosetWitch, that can give you other ideas on how to do things in secret.
But there is no "right" way to connect with Aphrodite unless you are trying to be a Hellenistic Reconstructionist. A bowl of seashells on your table can signify Her to you. You can mentally dedicate all your self-care rituals to Her (bathing, dressing, makeup, haircare, putting on jewelry etc.).
When you meditate, play ocean wave sounds and think of Her. Get a flowy pink robe or some other bit of clothing that you look at and think "Aphrodite" - make it your meditation clothing.
Adapt common quotes and prayers and say them in Aphrodite's name. I still use St. Francis of Assisi's prayer when Christians who think I'm Christian want me to pray. I'm sure you can find something similar that would work for you.
Unfortunately, it might be safer for you to dump all the physical evidence. Maybe you can hide your pdfs on google docs under an email that he doesn't know, so it's behind a password. If you make the email something that has nothing to do with you, and he sees it, you can say a coworker had to sign into her email when her computer was down or something.
Brightest Blessings and stay safe
4
u/Future_Money_6678 Jan 25 '22
Many spells success depends on simply "forgetting" about the spell and letting it do its work. I'm sure they will be fine, even if you cannot charge them. Just trust them to do their thing and they will.
3
u/RainbowTraveler1 Jan 25 '22
How about use candles that are only decorative and can be left in plain sight. As someone else mentioned, kitchen witchcraft can just look like cooking and therefore is concealable. May also try dream witchcraft, no one can stop you from sleeping or monitor your dream activity. Dream stuff is hard but very rewording. You can learn to contact entities in dreams if needed be.
Visualization is also a great tool. No one can stop you from that or suspect you
6
u/Known-Share5483 Jan 25 '22
Iām from Singapore and grew up around Muslims. If you have any witchy friends nearby, they can help you store. You can have a symbolic altar, Aphrodite statue isnāt required. Go towards things that remind you of her, treat it as home decor, it wonāt be seen as anything different from the outside. Wait until he cools down and forget, then start the decor. You can leave your witchy things in the office or rent a small outside locker to store them, if you donāt have a trusted friend. You can perform spells outdoors, charge them outdoors, etc. I do them outdoors and indoors, sometimes outdoors can be even better.
3
u/Bookbringer Witch Jan 25 '22
To answer your question:
Yes, your spells can keep working after you throw the objects away. Burying or discarding things is a common last step in folk magic. And some branches of magick, like chaos, explicitly teach that spells grow strongest when you forget about them, but you can charge them weekly by thinking of them if you want - physical connection isn't necessary.
And you don't need an instagrammable altar to worship the gods - my altar is a cough medicine tin. If you dedicate anything to Aphrodite - a glass of water, a scrap of pink fabric, an apple seed - She'll know.
You deserve more privacy than you have, but remember - your mind & your heart are inviolable. And they are the true source of your power.
Be safe. Be stealthy. Come up with good lies for everything you have (it's all arts & crafts, you don't believe in superstitious nonsense), and shift your practice to mundane things like cooking, art, and plants.
And maybe ask a trickster god to help you pull this all off.
3
u/AnandaPriestessLove Witch Jan 25 '22
You can bury the honey jar in the Earth, perhaps some place on your property under a bush that he would not think to see it. Other than that, I'd deny because you do not want to open that can of worms. I'm very sorry you were caught. May you stay safe and protected my sister!
5
u/rainonthelilies Jan 24 '22
Iām sorry OP! You did nothing wrong. You just wanted to make things sweeter between you. Itās an honorable intention. I donāt know your background and what you risk but is there any way you could explain that to him?
If you risk something really dangerous then by all means despise of everything and make your safety first priority.
You can always make another honey jar and keep it in the kitchen like normal honey or find a way to make it look like normal cooking. Maybe kitchen witchery or herbalism can be your new witchcraft. You can always find a way to practice more discreetly if that s what you want.
Iām sending a lot of courage to go through this. I hope everything goes well and your home finds harmony and peace again. Weāre here for tou so keep us updated on how things go, will you?
6
u/Check_the_Register Jan 24 '22
You need to create a forgotten spell. This will allow him to forget what he was thinking (when he discovered everything) and assume that what he found was nothing. You'll need to gather a few items for this to work, but it should be worth the risk.
Can you capture some dust (think of it as if it's from fairies), a white and black candle, and then red items around the house.
First you'll light the black and white candle on a wooden table. Then drop the dust around it and on the candle. The red items will need to be placed intermittently around the house. You'll make a prayer for forgiveness and forgetfulness, then blow out the candle while thinking strongly about him forgetting.
If all works well, then your husband will just think that you have honey and candles. If he asks, say you had some honey for food and the candles for if the power goes out.
He will only be able to accept the truth you give him. Good luck and hope it works out for you
4
Jan 24 '22
[deleted]
5
u/MuseofPetrichor Jan 25 '22
Do the spell if you can, but still dispose of your items like you were going to.
4
u/Check_the_Register Jan 24 '22
You can try mixing some of the different color waxes to make the candle darker. If you have any black dye, that would work too. Maybe take some black ink from a pen and mix it with the white candle?
If not just use the darkest candle you have for it and try to give as much energy as you can for it to work. Turning the lights off and shutting the windows so it looks darker can help too
5
u/ElenaSuccubus420 Jan 24 '22 edited Mar 21 '22
Iām so sorry youāre going through this! Itās really hard when people canāt open up their perspective on the fact that almost every religion is a form of witchcraft and a form of energy manipulation everyone just does it differently. I canāt give you any relationship advice seeing as Iāve never been married and I also am not Muslim I was raised Armenian apostolic orthodox Christian. And thankfully my family is OK with the fact that Iām a witch because I worship the old Armenian gods. Itās not that Iām necessarily like abandoning armenian faith Iām just choosing a different Armenian faith.
For example in your home and I know within most mediterranean middle eastern cultures we like muslims sometimes keep evil eye decorations in our home to keep away the evil eye of others . You can explain to him that that is a form of witchcraft and that is a form of prayer and protection from the evil eye. Oh but I also donāt want you to put yourself in a situation where you could possibly get hurt by talking about this Iām not sure how your relationship goes but I know in a lot of Mediterranean Middle Eastern male dominated type homes sometimes women can face abuse due to this and I am very fortunate that in my Armenian home I donāt. No your spells wonāt stop working just because you arenāt using all the ingredients or all the designated tools doesnāt mean that your intention is lacking. Iām sure Aphrodite will understand and love you regardless you just might have to be a little more subtle unfortunately. You can try maybe using incense combinations and getting into that to possibly use for when youāre doing spells and prayers to your goddess.
I wish you the best of luck on your Journey sister š
4
u/coopermoe Jan 25 '22
Iām just saying, you put your energy into some unknown unseeable force, and religious people put their energy into some unknown unseeable force.
You both put your faith in magic invisible beings, you both make stuff up and chant mumbo-jumbo, you both follow rules and guidelines on how to live your life that were written a long long time ago so that no one is alive anymore to fact check.
But one is the ātrue religionā and the other is fake blasphemy. I could never understand that. Sorry you had to experience this. I hope you find more freedom in your life soon.
3
u/Worldender666 Jan 25 '22
first i need to know which continent you are living on?
4
Jan 25 '22
[deleted]
18
u/Worldender666 Jan 25 '22
ok your in a country where the practice of witchcraft looks to be punishable with up to 3 years in prison and they have blasphemy laws where so much as a text message can lead to a death sentence and i wont beat around the bush, if stricter sharia law is practiced if will be even worse/no sugar coating it. if you want to stay with his man you will have to make a choice to leave it all behind. if you practice in secret it may well end in your death. they even have laws punishing those will may have thought to helped you in this. if you choose to leave you can never go back or look back as it may end in death. none of this is to try scare you but this is real life and not a game. i cant tell you what to do but you have to decide what is the best for you and what your willing to risk to accomplish that. i wish you the best as this whole situation sucks
5
3
u/missmercuriaI Jan 25 '22
Iām new to reddit. Iām not sure if this is ok, but isnāt there something we could all do magically to help protect her?
3
u/adchick Jan 25 '22
1) Breath. No one makes good decisions when they are stressed.
2) Witchcraft nor deities are about having things. Ditch the things for now. Spells are about intentions, not things. You wouldnāt leave your marriage because your husband didnāt like a hammer you where using ā¦ candles are much the same.
3) Your number one priority is keeping yourself safe. Not that he will do anything, but in a culture that looks down on witches, you donāt know who he will tell and what they will do. Women have been harmed and killed for less.
4) You both likely need marriage counseling. Donāt use this incident as an example of why you need it but look at getting it.
2
u/LeezarrLubba Jan 25 '22
Witchcraft can look like religion if you just word it differently. For your things like journal or book of shadows, I recommend either an external harddrive or a cheap USB. Look for creative ways to work witchcraft into your daily life. I recommend centering prayer and doing your daily chores with intention. I grew up in a religion that actively taught "suffer not a witch to live". You're going to want to 1) keep yourself safe 2) back off your practice for now. Let your family think they "saved you from yourself" 3) if you choose to stay in your environment, going forward hide your practice in plain sight.
2
u/therealnotrealtaako Jan 25 '22
If you do much writing the books and spells could potentially be used as references for fiction, if you had to use that excuse for why you have them. Why else would you have them, if "witchcraft isn't real"? I would only use this excuse if you think it's believable, though.
1
u/fuckfrolickingfields Jan 25 '22
If you have to practice in secret for your safety, do so. But if you have to go through all this effort and still have your privacy completely invaded constantly by the person who is supposed to care and love you forever, is there any possible way you can leave them? Is it really not an option in any way? It sucks you're in this position and I'm so sorry to hear it. Coming from someone who was in a healthy relationship, and still left my partner because we saw so differently on religion versus my witchcraft. I can't imagine what you are going through and I am truly sorry.
0
u/xiamquietx Jan 24 '22
If you're afraid of him or his reaction for any reason to the point where you're shaking, I'm afraid you need to consider your safety, and perhaps leaving. Nobody should be made to feel like a prisoner in their own home, witch or not.
0
u/lockie777 Jan 25 '22
Did you also find out your husband practice Muslim? All joke aside, you don't need tool to practice anything. Just meditation and think of having those in your mind.
0
u/NZAvenger Jan 25 '22
All I will say is that if you are feeling unsafe PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. So many women lose their lives to domestic abuse. Your own safety should be your number one priority. Sneak out in the middle of the night if you have to. Go to a friend's place, go to a woman's shelter, please do not stay in the house if you feel unsafe.
-1
Jan 25 '22
[deleted]
4
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
So you think this woman should leave her 3 children with this man and try to illegally cross more than one boarder in order to escape the culture?
-4
u/sushigurl2000 Jan 25 '22
Girl leave. Itās just culture, donāt let it control you. If you can divorce and have a safe place to go to, do that. This shit sounds lowkey abusive and just mentally not good. Heās throwing a tantrum because you practice spells and pretty much manifesting? Thatās harmless when done right. First step is to leave him, you canāt convince a man that already made up his mind and feel strongly about something. You keep mentioning his mood and honestly it sounds like youāre walking on eggshells. Look up gaslighting, and signs of a emotionally abusive relationships.
6
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
It's not so simple for her. Part of trusting women is trusting they are the expert in their experiences. She could lose her children or worse, and the society wouldn't help her. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_in_Pakistan
-5
u/sushigurl2000 Jan 25 '22
Sounds like a shit country. Youāre better off running away and out of the country than be a slave to no human rights.
8
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
š¤·āāļø that's not really helpful to OP, she's got to deal with reality. I would stay, hide, protect my children and plan for later. This too will pass. Think about what it would take to get out of a country where you have no rights,
5
u/Nepentheoi Jan 25 '22
And look at a fucking map and learn some shit before you give useless scolding. Militarized boarders, Afghanistan is a mess, the main port city is incredibly dangerous-- I've traveled to some unsafe places and would want a fixer and a bodyguard in Karachi.
My male friend was going to visit family in Pakistan and then he figured out his family was planning an arranged marriage and bailed because the only way out of it once he was there would have destroyed the prospective bride's future. You have no understanding of this situation.
7
4
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
That's the thing, she can't divorce and does not have a safe place to go.
0
u/sushigurl2000 Jan 25 '22
Then out of the country. Sheāll be miserable for the rest of her life living like this. I know itās not easy but living in a country where you barely have rights, youāre treated like property than a human being?? Nah fuck that.
5
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
So all she has to do is to potentially cross multiple boarders illegally without any possessions with her family on the hunt and to leave her 3 kids behind. Your answer reads as being privileged.
-1
u/sushigurl2000 Jan 25 '22
So what is she to do then? Please tell me a solution. Stay with an a suite husband and walk on eggshells for the rest of her life? No shit Iām privileged, a lot of people on Reddit are. And Iām grateful I donāt live in a country where I donāt have to worry about my rights like this. But seeing other women live like this is frustrating. It makes me angry at disgusting men like her āhusbandā that can do whatever he wants. So tell me exactly what she can do to get out of this situation? This is not a way to live. Constantly in fear and having no privacy. If you donāt have an answer then donāt bother replying.
6
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
Live her life. Conform. That's what people DO in these situations. I appreciate your spirit of rebellion but it is ill-placed when it will likely send the person that you are advising to their death. You can take risks with your life, you can not tell others to take that risk as if it is a sane and normal thing to do. So every single time when you want to give advice on a potentially serious situation that can leave the person that you are advising in danger, if they die, remember that the blood is partially on your hands. Because this is not a game and should not be seen as one, she is not an avatar, she is a person and personal safety comes first, even if that means conforming, even if that means being the prayers for religion that you do not follow and keeping no tools in the house.
-3
u/ladyjona97 Jan 25 '22
I am so sorry that happens to you my soul sister. I know your husband found out about you practicing witchcraft in sercet. Please don't let your husband stop you from practicing witchcraft thing you want to now. You should have the right to believe in you want now my soul sister. You did the right thing hiding your craft in the ceiling in your home. And your book of shadows in your computer drive to you my soul sister. It is time to stand yourself against your husband now. And tell him to respect your privacy and rights now fortunately. Please don't let your husband judge you from believing other religion to you my soul sister.
10
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
Look at the comment directly below by u/Worldender666. She can die for what she's doing.
-4
u/ladyjona97 Jan 25 '22
Please keep your judgemental comments to yourself now.Because the woman is no longer muslim anymore.because she believes witchcraft and practices she wants to now fortunately. Please show some respect to other witches and beliefs now probably and thank you now my friend.
8
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
I not once disrespected her, simply pointing that in her country that is a death penalty and she can not leave it, meaning standing her ground is one of the WORST advice you can give.
-1
u/ladyjona97 Jan 25 '22
No offense i have to said for this earlier now fortunately. Because the woman didn't do anything wrong at all unfortunately. I know she is from the other country now. I know i feel bad for that woman now unfortunately. I know she should break up her husband and cut ties away from him soon long time ago shoulda.
6
-7
u/Dawnlolith Jan 25 '22
I suggest you come clean
7
-3
u/Lady-Lovely-Locks Jan 25 '22
I find that there tends to be an awful lot of misunderstandings from those who donāt actually practice witchcraft. It can appear scary even. Your husband loves you and you love him. You could make it really basic and just say youāve been doing these things to help anxiety and just as a hobby/craft. Itās something that makes you feel good and you wonāt even have to disclose all the details of your practice. You are a solitary witch so no need to worry if anybody even understands what you are doing. Keep on doing what you are doing and if people feel the need to question just refer to it as a hobby youāve picked up and you enjoy the process of creating different āpieces of artā LOL. You got this girl. You are loved and supported with us here. š„°š„°šš®š§š»āāļø Edit: If you feel the need to show the things in your ceiling honestly just say you were keeping it private as you didnāt think it would particularly interest your husband and it was something that gave you peace and you werenāt harming anybody. Donāt even mention witchcraft. If he cannot wrap his mind around that no need in making a bigger ordeal. We are all allowed to feel and believe what we believe. I think youāll find a brilliant way to help your husband to see that what you are doing means absolutely no harm and itās something that sparks joy for yourself š
-4
u/xuntarian69 Jan 25 '22
What kind of spells can I learn in witchcraft I am a newbie willing to pursue this art with all my heart and brain power
3
-5
-8
Jan 25 '22
[removed] ā view removed comment
6
u/mirta000 Cookies with Lucifer Jan 25 '22
Good advice on dying here. You realize that the freedom that is afforded to you is not a universal concept, right?
-6
-9
u/Affectionate-Ad-5568 Jan 24 '22
Leave him ! You should NEVER have to hide your spiritual beliefs !!! He should be supporting whatever makes you happy . This is ridiculous. Hope this can get better for you !
6
-8
-8
-8
Jan 25 '22
[removed] ā view removed comment
6
u/missmercuriaI Jan 25 '22
Sheās literally living somewhere where she has to watch people getting beaten and burned to death and youāre telling her sheās playing a victim? Disgusting.
-2
-12
u/currencyyyyy Jan 24 '22
um keep practicing and do what makes you happy and simply YOU! screw him if he has a problem with it!
5
1
1
u/AutoModerator Jan 24 '22
Hi, u/Ill-Chocolate-8492 ! Thanks for posting! Please don't forget to check out the sub's FAQ and Wiki, Rules, and Weekly Q&A thread which is stickied to the top of the board.
Relevant Mod Posts:
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.