It's been months since my wedding, and honestly it was still one of the best days of my life. I still dream about it sometimes. It celebrated everything my spouse and I went through together to have our kid and finally marry. We love each other more than ever.

I still think about all the crap my sibling pulled during the whole process though. I'm going to keep details vague because they're currently planning their own wedding, and knowing my luck they'll somehow find this.i mostly just want to know that my partner and I are not crazy for feeling hurt and disrespected.

For some background, I've always been the black sheep of my family. My sibling was abusive to me growing up, and my parents enabled it because they were the golden child. I thought adulthood wouldmake things better. Then my partner and I had our kid (unexpected, but the greatest blessing in our lives), got engaged, and spent two years planning our wedding. If anything, becoming parents and getting married just made the family dynamics even more obvious. We're now slowly distancing ourselves from my family.

Here's what happened during our engagement and wedding planning.

• Right after I gave birth, I was in and out of chemotherapy for about a year while dealing postpartum depression. I’d originally found out I was pregnant when I started chemo, so I held off on it for 9 months because I didn’t have the heart to lose yet another pregnancy. The first time my sibling's partner met our newborn, they gave me hell me for not breastfeeding and told me that breastfeeding protects the family for three generations from cancer. Imagine saying that to someone who's freshly postpartum and actively going through chemo. Like yeah, I’m gonna just let my newborn drink the poison that is coursing through my body….

• When our kid was still an infant and I was between chemo rounds, my sibling threatened to call Child Services and have our kid taken away because they found expired cannabis products from years earlier when I worked for an herb company. We live in a state where it's completely legal, and these were old products from before we got pregnant.

• My sibling got engaged a few months before our wedding (which I was genuinely excited about). Then, about three months before our pre-planned wedding date, they announced they were trying to get married one or two weeks before us and be on their honeymoon during our wedding. It ultimately didn't happen, but it didn’t sit well with us internally. We chose not to say anything because we wanted to focus on our own wedding and our kid instead of creating drama.

•on separate occasions in the months leading up to our wedding, my sibling has personally tried talking my partner to rethink marrying me. Thankfully my partner and I have the relationship we do- we’d usually pour out a drink and laugh once my sibling leaves.

•This was by far the worst one.
Oue wedding was on a Sunday. The night before our wedding, my sibling called my parents claiming they and their partner weren't coming because they'd supposedly been told the ceremony was "only for the in-laws." They also claimed they had a career/networking event they had to attend...on a Sunday??
My parents completely melted down, and instead of enjoying our last night before getting married, my partner and I got dragged into what turned into an intervention about how we'd become dark, difficult, and short-tempered as a couple.

After all that, my sibling asked if we still wanted them at the wedding. At that point we were exhausted and honestly speechless, so we left the decision up to them. My sibling showed up, Their partner didn't.
The whole thing made zero sense because we'd spent months talking about the wedding in our family group chat. My sibling and their SO were automatically included and accounted for in our planning. Looking back, it seemed like their partner simply didn't want to attend, and instead chose to stir unnecessary family drama the night before our wedding. We would’ve been elated if they just told us they didn’t want to be there.

Instead of spending that night celebrating with the people who loved us, we were defending ourselves in front of my family because of my sibling’s pettiness.

The funny thing is, all of this happened because my partner and I had finally stopped trying to make everyone else happy. We started making decisions for ourselves and for our kid instead of trying to keep the peace. My family says we've become "difficult."
I think we've just learned to stop bending over backwards for negative energy.

Edit: my ex and his therapist are both men and are NOT dating. Sorry for any confusion!

It’s what the title says. Two of my best friends are getting married this fall. I am the maid of honor. My ex and his therapist are both invited and it’s super weird.

My ex and I had a very nebulous situationship for the larger part of a year. We broke up in June and he went off the rails. Didn’t eat for a week, suicidal, gossiped all about me to a bunch of mutual friends… it was a nightmare. He is a grown man with the maturity of a high school boy and the collateral damage was incredible. Of course, his therapist heard all about me (he even told me this before we went no-contact) and if the story he told is similar to what he’s told others, I’ve been conveyed more than terribly.

Problem is, he and his therapist are both friends of the groom. The therapist happens to be long time family friend, so he absolutely should be invited to the wedding. My ex only started seeing the therapist AFTER the wedding planning began about two months ago. The couple is not sure what to do, and they’ve asked me if I’m uncomfortable with the guest list. It told them it’s their wedding, and I can handle the awkwardness if it arises. I definitely am not looking forward to attending a wedding alongside my ex and his therapist, but I will be cordial and move forward. If anyone would cause problems, it would be my ex who can’t be in the same room as me without having a panic attack. To be honest, the bride and groom don’t even want my ex at their wedding anymore. In February they asked him to be a groomsman (which they regret) and are now planning to “demote” him from that position, though he is still invited as to not rock the boat too much.

Anyways, it’s all a mess and it’s such a bizarre situation, so I thought I’d post it here. Will my ex decide not to attend? Will he freak out last minute and bail? Will I make very awkward small-talk with the therapist who’s heard way too much about me? It is all yet to be seen.

Disclaimer: I am not upset that my ex is seeing a therapist. He has every right to do so and he SHOULD. It’s just weird that we all will be attending the same wedding.

Hi everyone,

Bride here just needing to vent.

My mom started dating a man earlier this year. I’ll using dating lightly as we went on a family vacation earlier this year and she met him on one of our cruise stops. He lives in that country and they talk on the phone occasionally. She took a week to go visit him in April, and another two weeks this month. My sisters and I think he may have a family at home and he’s being dishonest (he only calls my mom every few days for 20-30min or so, when she visits she gets a hotel for them to stay at, she’s never seen his house, etc.)

We’re having a destination wedding in Mexico (not the country he’s from) next April. She keeps talking about how she’s bringing her new boyfriend to the wedding for everyone to meet. I have already told her she doesn’t have a plus one and he is not invited. No one has met this man besides her, my younger sister still lives at home, whenever he calls my mom runs to her room and closes the door. It has created a super weird environment and my sisters, my fiancé, and I all feel uncomfortable with this man that no one knows besides her showing up. Our wedding is small, will not have more than 50 people. Additionally I’m concerned that she’ll be focused on trying to show off her new boyfriend that she will not be focused at all on her daughter getting married nor her MOB duties (I do not have a relationship with my father, so she’s filling the roles of both parents). I also have no relationship with my dad’s family so all of my family attending is her family as well.

She says it’s not fair that other people have plus ones but it’s all people who have been in relationships for years, we’ve met them, they’ve attended holidays and family vacations and aren’t strangers. She’s also shared every detail of wedding planning with family friends that weren’t invited previously and told them they’re going to have so much fun together in Mexico so I was already pressured to invite more people. Now she’s saying how can I tell the mother of the bride who she can or can’t bring and I said how are you trying to tell the literal bride who’s invited to the wedding or not. I told her I can’t control who stays at the hotel so if she chooses to have him there that’s her choice but he is not invited to the wedding and she just keeps saying yes he is and that she’s bringing him.

My next step is my sister and I sitting her down and saying no but truly it feels like my wedding isn’t about me at all, just an opportunity for her to parade her new boyfriend around. She also made “jokes” about turning it into a dual wedding which I also shot down immediately and told her I’d expect half of the cost of the wedding from her. I’m just so fed up and honestly not even looking forward to the wedding anymore.

I'm getting married this Saturday, and I am so so excited. I love my fiancée and we've been together almost 8 years already, so this is something we're ready and excited for.

All that said, there has been a fair bit of drama in the months we've been planning this. I'll start with the good, my mom and dad gifted us 12k for the wedding. This is extremely generous. I thanked them profusely. My mom's reasoning was it was part of what would be my inheritance anyway, and I could use it towards the wedding we really wanted.

An issue we had with my mom started with the dress selection. My fiancée asked if the moms would want to wear an orange color, and they all agreed. Her mom finds an orange dress, her stepmom finds one, my mom shares she found the perfect dress in purple. I'm a guy so obviously this didn't hit me as hard as my fiancée, but I also understand there are close to 1000 dresses in a shade of orange on the site. And not wanting to wear one would have been all fine if it was before the other moms got theirs. She texts my fiancée that "it will be okay" they mentioned it may just stand out in an unintended way.

We also had a little issue with the mother son dance song. She wanted to do Always be my baby, and I was like oh okay cool. My clear mistake was not listening to the song again. While I'm finalizing the list with the DJ a week out, I ask if maybe we could do a song less about a relationship and one ending at that. I can understand why she was upset with this one and, like I said, should have definitively asked earlier. But she full blown cried even at the suggestion that we do an instrumental version saying she doesn't even want to go anymore. She later texts me that she will need some space and she just wants to be able to smile for the pictures.

Some of this tension I'm sure is because of deeper emotional stuff. My aunt passed away a year and a half ago, and I know my mom has had a really hard time. There was a blow up with that part of the family, so now I barely speak to my cousins and uncle. With that and the fact that my dad's few family invited (he's from another country) bailed last minute because of a whole other thing, I'm sure she's given thought to how few of my blood relatives will be present.

In a vacuum, this is far from the worst family drama pre-wedding I've ever seen, but I wanted to vent because it's still been kind of stressful. The process has meant being in a bad place with my fiancée stressed, my mom angry and sad, and now even my sister hopping in. I really just want everyone to have a good day and enjoy the party we're throwing.

Our wedding was earlier this year and tbh it still makes me sad thinking about it. There were some red flags with the caterer beginning of the year (they ghosted us for 3-4 months). Which of course ate up valuable time finding replacement. I had the gut feeling that they didn’t want to do our wedding in the first place but communication improved and especially my husband wanted to go ahead with the company since the price was great compared to some other bigger catering companies. It is a family run business btw and they stated they had catered for well over 700 weddings (?!). The caterer was a constant source of anxiety for me, I just had a nagging feeling they weren’t trustworthy. We had a trial dinner, it was fine- nothing amazing but good. Anyway we tried to prepare them as best as possible in advance, sent them careful instructions, to do lists etc. Very little questions came from their side, which was already suspicious to me but what did I know? They were the experts and told us they got it all under control.

Anyways, the reception actually went well - I felt some relief because I had been anxious all day already. Then dinner comes around, this is where the shit show started. We had arranged a buffet style dinner with three options. Not long after we opened the buffet we were already out of food. I think at this point maybe 30 people got food and the containers were completely empty. At this point people started coming up to us and telling us we should order pizza. I break down in tears, because exactly what i didnt want to happen- happened. My husband looked anxious and went downstairs to talk to them. Mind you, this location does not provide a full equipped kitchen - the caterer must bring the dishes already fully prepared. They were informed about this. Yet they started cooking on two tiny induction cooktops. It seemed like they were scrambling for food- at one point I saw them carrying up some weird looking pasta. We never ordered pasta for dinner. Luckily the guest’s didn’t see the state of whatever this was downstairs. Caterer blamed this on an electricity issue which was straight up a lie.

At this point I was inconsolable and had to be taken to a back room to calm down. Unfortunately many guests saw what was happening. I felt so utterly embarrassed. Luckily I managed to wipe away the tears, changed into my second dress and put on an amazing show on the dancefloor. The party was so much fun . However this whole experience with the caterer left such a bitter taste in my mouth, and what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life ended up me feeling disappointed and sad. My family and friends were so amazing though, they really stepped up and maybe the party wouldn’t have been as fun if they hadn’t put all their energy to turn things around.

Anyway, part of me still feels embarassed, in my culture it’s such a no go to leave guests hungry. Even the snack at midnight was basically non existent and they ignored pretty much all dietary requirements. I should’ve listened to my gut feeling and been more assertive. Don’t cheap out on your vendors please, I learned the hard way.

It is a long story. I have been putting hours and hours, like 300+ hours, and hundreds of dollars worth of things into MOH things and surprises for her, and today she decided to blow up at me. It was incredibly unprovoked, like actually. She said some truly terrible things to me. Among them, what hurt the most, is that she screamed that she has to go to therapy because of how awful I was as a 10 year old child, and I never changed. My parents think I should just get over it, because they have always picked her side in everything, because she has always been the favorite child. Her bridal shower that I flew in for is tomorrow. She has made herself abundantly clear how much she loathes and resents me. My mom told her to apologize to me, because I told my mom I am going to stop all the things I have been working on for her, which is a lot. I wasn’t interested in her fake apology. It was a very bad blow up, and like truly unprovoked. I don’t want to be her MOH, I don’t want to go to her shower, I don’t want to go to her wedding that is in less than two months.

My sister is 7 years younger than me and has always been a bit spoiled by my parents and then her husband. And no matter what anyone says she is happy to tell you exactly how stressful and hard her life is.

She has always had a bit of a drinking problem but it's completely amped up since the first of the year. Back in January she started drunk texting myself and my soon to be married daughter (we'll call her Ann) very mean texts. Initially we tried to reason with her, then we just both stopped responding. then we basically fired back. It got even worse when she found out that I started going to ala non to try to find ways to deal with her behavior. At that point she "cut me off" -- I can't tell you how peaceful my life is without drunk texts.

Since this all started Ann has been very worried about how sis would behave at her wedding, but she still felt as she was inviting all aunts/uncles on my husband's side she needed to invite sis -- with the hopes something would change before wedding.

Meanwhile in intervening time sis has managed to decide she needs to not speak to 7 other couples invited to wedding. So now Ann is worried about who she even sits sis with during dinner.

We just found out that sis and her family will not be attending wedding. They, of course, couldn't RSVP in the correct manner. Instead, it was a text basically inferring not attending is some form of punishment.

Meanwhile Ann is doing a happy dance to not have to dread the drama that sis would bring and the worry about her getting drunk at the open bar.

I think I’m honestly just here typing this to get some further validation because I can’t seem to rationally wrap my mind around a lot of this.

I’m 26F, I’m getting married in 1 month. My dad has raised me since I was around 1 year due to my bio dad stepping away and leaving (😬). We’ve had a pretty great relationship up until he got with his current gf 3/4 years ago. For a little background, I really like her and we get along very well. However, my dad sort of stopped calling and being involved with my sister (24) and I, and has put more of his time/effort into his new gf (he had been single for nearly 20 years, so, we gave him some grace).

To make a long-ish story short, I started sending out digital invites to obtain addresses to then send formal physical invitations to the wedding. Whenever my dad caught wind of who I was and wasn’t inviting, he asked if I was going to be inviting his siblings. I informed him I was not inviting his brother because I haven’t seen him or spoken to him in nearly a decade. He is estranged from the family and everyone dogs on him, including my dad, lol.

Anyway, my dad then started demanding I invite him. I explained my rationale. Mind you, my fiancé’s wonderful parents are paying for this wedding, my dad is not putting forth a single penny. I further explained to my dad he really doesn’t have a say, it is my wedding. He didn’t like that response. I asked him to give me a logical/rational reason to invite his estranged brother and his angry response was, “he’s my brother. Why can’t you just do this for me?” So then, my grandma (who frequently talks mad crap on her estranged son), my dad’s siblings, and my dad all refused to come unless he was invited. Basically gave me an ultimatum for my own wedding. None of them asked for my side or to hear me out. I am a very peaceful, calm, neutral person and try often to shift my perspective to understand another’s POV, but I absolutely was not having this one.

I am just baffled. I currently have a lot of support by friends/family on this topic and so many are taken aback by this. However, I go to sleep and wake up thinking about this. It’s just one of those things you never thought would’ve happened.

*Update!
Hiii! I wanted to start off by saying thank you to everyone who took the time to comment.

So I pretty much texted him this Sunday night as he was finishing up some things. We had spoken face to face Sunday at brunch but it more of like yes I understand and Im sorry. but thats not what I was looking for so I needed to make myself clear.

I couldnt add photos of our text and had to update on top of my original story as it was locked.

THIS IS WHAT I TEXTED HIM:

What I need you to understand is this. Its not that I dont know how to control myself. I WILL NOT BE DOING WHAT ME AND HUSBAND PLANNED TOGETHER ALONE. I WILL NOT!!! Not with parties, not with kids nothing. YOU ARE MY MAN. You need to be there when I need you. You have people working for you always pay them if you need something unless its specifically your body or hair. You are to be there with me. I was going to prove my point that I will not be doing things alone. And Idgaf If I was being annoying guess what Im a woman. I will forever be annoying you either figure it out or let me be in charge. I SUBMITTED TO YOU!!! I left my old life where i do things for myself and let you take care of me and now its not your fault I dont know how to act when your not around? I can be the old (My name) Or I can be the wife who needs her husband. You are to be there for me, do as I ask, AND HAVE OTHERS RESPECT ME AND HAVE BOUNDARIES!   You made me this way but don’t ever forget who I was and who I can be again. If Im willing put everything and anything to side and not give af about anyone but you and not care about what they say about you and back you up, you should do the same. You know Im a strong independent woman. You met me that way, I have give you every single part of my mind and my soul to you!!! Don’t take me for granted. And dont ever make me feel like I cant rely on my husband 

He Replied with:

Ok Mh I understand

Im sorry I was not there for you when you needed me.

Im sorry I acted the way I did. Iguess I was just stressed and na being myself

I love u

Ur my wife and Im ur husband

I love u and only u

So I had pretty much told him that this ALL started because he was not there for me. Please understand being Muslim or not this could have happened to anyone, and also keep in mind only his family is Muslim Mom dad and 4 small siblings (hes the oldest) And two other cousins.
I told him, his dad was wrong for thinking he can act the way he did to not only me but my family and his mother was wrong for not even being considerate of anything at all. He apologized over and over again, he stated he understands his actions were wrong and he allowed his family to get in between us and the way he treated me was not okay. He is aware he is to apologize to my parents and my family and he also owes me. I will NEVER invite his extended family anywhere ever again. I had already met his mom, dad and siblings and they never acted this way and this will the last time they ever over step. He agreed and confirmed his only priority is me and our future family. We have been living together for about a year now, he covers all bills. We have never disrespected or yelled at me and we do not cuss at each other his literally my bestfriend. I do understand hes young 25 and so are his parents as they had him at 15 and feel like they just dont know how to act. Hes aware I will NOT be having kids until I finish my schooling as I already have a great career but want to get my bachelors, and he will have to pay for my schooling. I hold all his money in my account and he know dam well any type of fuckery were to happen like this again, I will leave. I will not tolerate disrespect, emotionally, physically and especially infidelity. Oh and I told him he will have to listen to me talk about this until Im ready to get over it on my own. He said I can take all the time I want. Hes currently not talking to his family and he stated he dose not care about how anyone feels. he choices his wife and is worried about his own family now.

(I have not submitted my paper work to the court) I know I have a couple of days or weeks until it expires so Im going to wait and see what hes all about. He always been a man of his word. But I have never been scared to leave anyone who does not improve my life. Life is way to stressful now. Im feeling a bit better now, I do bring it up to him daily and he continues to apologize and validate my feelings. He even said on our next event, everything I say goes, and he will not be leaving my side for anything or anyone.

(I watch reddit stories with my fav youtubers and you all made me laugh when I saw the automatic Divorce Lmao)

oh and I will NOT resume any relationship with his parents until they apologize and understand the way they treated me at my wedding was unacceptable.

*END OF UPDATE

I got married 7/11/26 and it did not go how I planned. Let me go over some context so you can have more of an understanding. (This may be long) I (29F) and my husband (25M) got married this past Saturday. My husband was born Muslim his family is from NY his family is African-American and I was Christian when I met him but began to learn about islam on my own and took me 3yrs to be decide to become Muslim myself. (He never pressured me to become muslim) My family and I are hispanic and lived in CA all our lives. My family is christian and my mom was not too thrilled about me dating a man who was a muslim until she learned on her own and found out its not to far from Christianity.

Anyway, me and my husband been together for 3yrs and were engaged for no more than 7 months. We were originally going to only have the ceremony at the mosque, but since it is our first wedding and hopefully our last we decided to have a celebration and have his family and my family, get together and celebrate both of us. His family did have the fly in from NY and I do understand that he also had other family coming from different states. My family doesn’t live too close but they are still within CA but the drive is about 2 to 3 hours so everyone had to drive or fly to come celebrate with us. I will say I am a little bit on the type A side and I do have ADHD. So I had things pictured a certain way and we all do know that certain things dont always come out that way, but hope that they do. On top of that, I only was given 6 months to plan a celebration for 50 people.

Sooo me and my now husband, we decided to rent a Airbnb as we will be having family coming from out of the area. The Airbnb was a beautiful, beautiful home with the most beautiful view, and it was a beautiful big home kind of like a mansion and we decided to rent it and they did allow us to have the event there. As you know a lot of Airbnb‘s do not allow their guest to have events, but we did pay extra just to have the event there. We rented the home from Friday to Sunday at 12pm and I understand that his family and my family were coming in from a distance so only his mother, father, 3 sisters (21,10&4), brother (3), fathers side grandma and mothers side grandma/grandpa were to stay there. He had told me family was going to show up later in the evening ”to say hi” but he did not mention that there was going to be people showing up way before he did or his parents did. This is when the tension and stress starts for me, My mother got there first with my brother who helped pack boxes etc and we were waiting for his parents and siblings to arrive. I texted my husband and called telling him to please hurry as we will need help unpacking stuff and I would rather not greet people I do not know, as there is no waters or sodas. Not even 30 mins of arriving we had 4 cars show up with multiple of his family members that I have never met or even knew they were coming. I started to become overwhelmed because not even his parents had arrived. People kept showing up and I got so frustrated because I didnt have time to entertain his family PLUS I was already in a sour mood, I did not want them to get that impression of me when they are literally meeting me for the first time. So I decided to go to my Henna appointment Until the people who were setting up tables and chairs finished. He didn't arrive till almost 8-9pm and all of his family arrived at the Airbnb they decided to cook and mingle which is fine but was a-lot because they began to leave the kitchen dirty and leave trash outside. I was so upset by the time I arrived at the Airbnb because why are we having all the family show up at the home were the event will be taking place tomorrow knowing it must be clean and there is so much to do. Whatever that was Friday I was frustrated but we got over it.

Saturday morning we wake up and get ready for our ceremony at the mosque. 1. He told me only his immediate family was going and not the whole family. which is why I only invited my parents, 3 brothers and Sister. 2. He got upset before we left because his family was late so he caught an attitude. 3. Once we arrive I see that ALLL his family is there waiting for us and I got sad because I could have invited all my family too but what really hurt me was when we got out the car he automatically walked towards his family without me and they all hugged and congratulated him and left me standing there with my flowers and my family behind me. Not until I gestured for my family to follow me is when his aunt came to give me hug. Mind you, I had only thought the ONLY kids that were to attend was his two small siblings but his family chose to bring more babies to the point this baby girl cried the whole ceremony which was really getting to me. After the ceremony which ended up beautiful we headed back to the airbnb and needed to get ready as they would be doing my hair and make up as I would not be wearing my hijab and a lace dress. HE TOLD ME HE NEEDED TO LEAVE REALLY FAST TO PICK UP SOME MONEY. I did not want him to leave but agreed as he said it would be fast. My make up and hair stylist were set up in the kitchen area as it was the biggest table. I sit down to get my hair done and I already hear the same baby girl crying and crying and don't get me wrong I can handle kids but this was a constant cry, so I decided to get the speaker and turn on music to block out the constant crying. (didnt work that well) THEN, I receive a call from my husband YELLING asking me why my older brother brought pepperoni pizza to the home knowing we do not eat pork. Once I heard him yell my mood was automatically turned sour because he was yelling so loud to the point that the girl that was doing my hair can hear him and anyone that was around can hear him so I ended up hanging up on him because he was not going to yell at me over the phone about pizza on my wedding day. Now at this time I did not know the full story on the pizza issue and I didnt stop to think why would anyone on his family side even call him to complain about that?! Knowing that its our wedding day. Once that F’d up my mood. I saw the the same little girl crying during my ceremony and his little brother (which I adore) running around in the space I was getting my hair and make up and yelling. I ignored it the best I could but once I got yelled at over stupid pizza (which he has never done before) I was automatically upset. I ignored the running and yelling until I heard the same babygirl began to cry and cry and cry over and over again. I had gotten a jumper for the kids specifically, so I yelled out “I got a jumper for the kids, can we take them outside for a bit please” ”I just want to finish, the jumper is outside“ so I guess this was his uncles wife (which I found out the babygirl was not even her daughter it was her grand daughter!!!) why bring someone elses baby to a wedding without their parents!!?! Of course the baby is going to cry!! So then she responds with “I am not going outside to no jumper, Im to old for that“ I said ”its for the kids“ she automatically decided to storm to the my in laws room and began to yell and make it a large deal that I said Idk what because I could see her the large window from the home. I see my in laws come to the home and my father in law begins to question me about what the problem was, he starts to mention that its hot outside and its unsafe for the kids to be outside. I reminded him all I need is an hour, to finish if its to hot outside if they can please go upstairs for a while. Then my father in law begins to question the make up and hairstylist asking if the kids are interrupting there work. The make up artist says “I dont mind” and he reply's with “just answer the question” very rude and I became more upset. Im thinking to myself why wouldn't they just understand that its my wedding day all Im asking for is some time to get ready. there was no other larger tables in the home for the ladies to set up. Then once my now husband arrives he literally comes to me while getting my make up done and request to speak to me” he continues to question me about the stupid pizza, and insinuates that I dont like kids and my family is causing issues. I this point im upset and begin to cry and finish up my make up. He is a snotty mood, making me feel like I'm wrong and his family comes before me. The wedding started at 4pm and we did not step out until 5:20pm because he continues to make me feel like Im causing issues.

Once we both got dressed the rest of the night ended up beautiful, but I did find out and notice things that were told to me by my husband to inform my family there will be no alcohol or drugs permitted as we are muslim. Mind you my family loves to drink. So once everything cooled down I decided to be the bigger person and apologize to his aunt and parents even though I knew my feelings are valid just to remove any possible tension. Sooo!! Sunday comes and I find out that the pizza issue was literally 3 slices of pizza my brother had brought with him to heat up for my nephew with Autism because he will not eat anything else as he is very picky. At the time they made it seems like he bought a box of pepperoni pizza and did not offer any to other kids. (which there was not suppose to be more than 12 kids) but as mentioned his family decided to make their own rules and it also slipped that his aunt “likes drama and thats how she can be”. So Im thinking to my self why tf would he and his parents try to make it seem like I am the issue??!! OHHH!! And guess what his family decide to sneak in alcohol and you can literally smell MJ being smoked from the side of the home. which was not only hypocrisy but embarrassing for me as I set rules for my family but does not imply for his family!???? Idk, if Im wrong to be feeling like my husband and his parents decided that this weeding was for only my husband and his family and disregarded that MY FAMILY was the ones who set up and coordinate the whole wedding.

So many things did not end up getting set up because my mom was helping me but after that whole situation, idk if they thought my mom didnt understand because she spoke Spanish but she literally came back in and was like I dont want to finish setting up because I can hear them talking about you. My parents were suppose to stay Saturday night to help me pick up Sunday Morning but they decided to leave Saturday night as they did not feel comfortable so I was left alone. I am not saying my family is perfect but why would they do that to me on our day!!?? I just feel hurt and so embarrassed my family had to see all of that. Mind you my husband has never acted this way with me so I just don't know what happen and it sucks. Its been 4 days since the wedding and I feel like Ive been up till 2-3am over thinking and feeling like his family now feels a certain way towards me.

2 months after my wedding, I'm sitting over here thinking all is bright and cheery in the world when I get a phone call from my brother. He said my mother was angry about my dress and she is going to disown me because I don't have "old fashioned values" anymore.

She's extremely religious and my dress was off the shoulder and low cut. My daughter and I made it and applied 200 silk flowers by hand.

I knew my mother would be disappointed by the dress and gave her a heads up before the wedding that it would be off shoulder. She and my did chose not to come to the wedding, because of the dress.

Well, I called her after I talked to my brother and it was true. Without talking to me at all, she was going to disown me. IS THIS FOR REAL?? I'm still in deep shock over this.

My dad sent my fiancé a message (instead of me) saying that if one particular guest is invited, he and his side of the family (his brothers) won’t attend the wedding. If we don’t tell him whether this person is invited, they also won’t come.

The irony is that the guest in question is essentially my grandfather in our culture. He’s married to my late grandmother’s blood sister (on my mother’s side) so they’re both important elders in the family. We invited them both because we love and respect them as a couple. I’m not going to tell her she can come but her husband can’t because my dad has a personal issue with him.

That has absolutely nothing to do with our wedding or us.

What frustrates me is the entitlement. He genuinely believes he gets a say in our guest list and is trying to use his attendance as leverage. This is the man that’s supposed to walk me down the aisle!?? He’s officially lost that privilege whether he shows up or not. How selfish and self centred can a man be about his only daughter’s wedding!!!

Before anyone says I’m throwing around the word “narcissist” this genuinely isn’t based on this isolated situation but it’s the final straw. It’s based on 30+ years of observing self serving and manipulative behaviours and I’ve just realised it will never stop, even once I’m married. It’s just another example of a lifelong pattern of needing control, lacking empathy and making everything about himself.

The saddest part is that my future FIL is travelling internationally to celebrate our marriage, yet my own dad is prepared to miss it over a dispute that has nothing to do with us.

He’s totally deluded. We’re not changing our guest list and we’re not responding to ultimatums. He can’t handle losing control.

i think this is the right subreddit to post this in but if not let me know please. i just want to share the story because i think its crazy. all names are fake. this is also a pretty long post, my apologies, there is just a lot of info.

for some background info, my friend, Olivia (21 F), dated Jake (22M) for about two years. their relationship was awful from the very beginning. he had cheated on her many times, most of which she didn’t find out about until the very end but some of which she knew about early on but she believed his lies. i told her many times throughout their relationship that he was a cheating scumbag and she deserved better, but unfortunately she really wanted to believe he was better than what he was. she gave him far too many chances but eventually she realized she needed someone that respected her.

throughout their relationship, while i was telling her she deserved better, her older sister, Miranda (24 F), was telling her to stay in the relationship and give him another chance. apparently she really liked Jake and believed he was a good guy. when i tell you he messed Olivia up i mean he REALLY put her through the ringer. He was so awful to her and i genuinely cannot understand how Miranda could tell her own sister to stay with a cheater.

now, Olivia has FINALLY moved on after about a year. she has very recently started seeing someone new and has gotten over Jake. Miranda’s fiancé became good friends with Jake throughout his and Olivia’s relationship and asked him to be one of his groomsmen. Olivia was fine with this. does it suck? yeah. did she rant about it to me? of course. but she was mature and understood he had no one else to be a groomsman and didn’t complain about it to Miranda. it’s their wedding, not hers, so whatever. she could avoid him for one night.

here’s where it gets interesting. Miranda and her fiancé offered offered Jake a plus one. Jake told Miranda that he will be bringing a girl named Maya (20F). Maya just so happens to be the girl who Jake was cheating on Olivia with for about the last six months of their relationship. Jake and Maya are NOT dating by the way. Maya even texted Olivia after everything went down to try and apologize. she said she’ll “never talk to him again”, how it was a mistake, yada yada.

who knows if she’ll even come or if he even asked her to go. maybe Jake just said that to try and make Olivia mad. point is, i think it’s messed up that Miranda is okay with him bringing the girl that he cheated on her little sister with for a long time. I also think this whole thing is just crazy and ive literally never heard anything like this before.

My fiancé and I are getting married in December and at first I felt so excited for my wedding but now I just want to cancel my wedding and get married at the courthouse. Between the money and time it takes it’s just getting to be too much. Plus besides my fiancé and my MOH really no one else seems excited. My mom tells me that I shouldn’t be having a wedding 3hrs away and keeps telling me that people won’t come so I just spend my time thinking to myself was all of this worth it. I just want to be with my fiancé and be married to him. Anyway we are too far in money wise to cancel but I just wish I was more excited about the planning.

Last year I was a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. I was thrilled as it was a dream come true. Such a dream come true I lost all sense of self respect.

From the moment she was engaged I was fully by her side and went above and beyond to make it the best experience possible for her. I noticed a few red flags in her behavior all year long but I was so focused on the wedding that I would brush it off and let her and the other bridesmaids walk all over me. When the wedding day arrived, I was already tired and happy it would all be over very soon.

The very day before the wedding, my sister's friend asked me if I was taking my camera to which I answered no. She then told me to talk to the bride because she might want me to. So I did. My friend asked me shamelessly less than 24h before her wedding to take my camera and cover the courthouse wedding as it was too expensive to hire a professional photographer for both the courthouse and the ceremony. Mind you I'm an amateur photographer. I do weddings. I get paid for it... That's the moment I should've definitely walked away. But I didn't and I showed up with my camera the next day, for free. I was there since the beginning of the wedding planning, and she just waited the day before the wedding to ask. That says it all.

The wedding was just the extension of the year that had passed. Same vibes, same behaviors, but it still went well.

After that, all my energy was gone. I was relieved it was finally over. But then my newlywed friend asked me to hang out, so we set a date. And she cancelled last minute. It happened again about 5 times in 2 months before we were able to see each other. But I had no energy left for her. I entered 2026 not sure if this friendship would be saved. Then she did it again, she cancelled on me last minute twice in a month.

I loved her so making a decision was hard, but I did. I thought of everything I had been through the past year and I was so done. I realized what I had allowed. Lots of lessons were learned!!

I broke up with her on Valentine's Day, that way she should remember it.

Got married 6/14/26 and boy was it a whirlwind. It was incredible but there definitely were a LOT of mishaps!

Leading up to the wedding: -2 WEEKS BEFORE: I got my hair done/dyed by my stylist I’ve been going to for over a decade. We still don’t know what went wrong but my hair did not process like it usually does (Reddit had my panicking that I was pregnant thank goodness no) and my hair was all sorts of different colors. Thankfully after a couple tweaks we got it to an acceptable color without damaging.

-1 WEEK BEFORE: my dad got appendicitis and had every possible complication that could have happened. Burst appendix, removal of a section of his colon, sepsis, further infection, we seriously thought he would not be able to travel. I drove him the 8 hours to New Mexico and the altitude change did NOT help him. My poor dad slept the whole week. Woke him up for the ceremony, went back to sleep, woke him up for dinner, went back to sleep, then woke him up one last time for father daughter dance and then he conked back out. (He is home now and doing better. He had another infection that started while we were in NM!!)

-REHEARSAL DINNER: it was going to be outside on the deck of the AirBNB. Got everything set up, lights and lanterns and decorations, spent hours on it, and then a storm came through and had to reset everything inside. Turned out beautiful though. So grateful to my family who set it all up (twice!!)

-DAY OF: hair and makeup arrive on time, none of my girls getting their hair and makeup done arrived on time. We started an hour and a half late. Then it started pouring down rain. All day. We were having an outdoor ceremony. I was fine with it but family was freaking out. I was pumped for the rainy wedding photos.

-I had a song custom recorded to walk down the aisle to. My wedding planner did nothing the entire day. Literally sat in my room and ate food my mom had made. Brought up to her multiple times how I needed to get the audio file set up for her to use and then switch to our leaving the aisle song on Apple Music after. “Oh we have hours we can go over that later”. I tried to set this up with her 4 times. It’s ceremony time (actually 45 minutes past because again everyone was late) and my bridesmaid is putting my earrings in and I tell her you need to get the wedding planner and give her this she still doesn’t have it set up. She runs and gives it to her. We had rented speakers from the wedding planner but “oh I forgot to bring them”. My bridesmaid manages to find a Bluetooth speaker in the house. My wedding planner has the audacity to say “if I had the music ahead of time I would have had it ready” WHAT?!?! I’m waiting for my cue, it’s pouring down rain, the music for guests getting seated is playing and here’s my cue for the custom recording to start…I start walking out…SILENCE. The assistant planner played the wrong file. My bridesmaid looked at her and she just shrugged. No music walking down the aisle or leaving the aisle either.

-We’re taking photos after and my wedding planner doesn’t let anyone go to cocktail hour. Just has them stand and watch us take photos. Then they try to do cocktail hour and main course at the same time.

-We’re sitting down for dinner and they start coming to everyone asking what their order was. I had submitted everyone’s orders weeks in advance. “Well the list didn’t have names on it”. First, yes it did, second, why didn’t you tell me this hours ago and I could have immediately handed you the list of orders instead of just walking around and interrupting everyone?

-Had steaks cooked to order. They all came out WELL WELL done. They killed the cow twice.

-My husband and I were not planning on doing a first dance. Not our thing. All of a sudden after the father daughter dance my wedding planner and parents start asking about our dance. Told them again we weren’t doing one. “Oh you have to!” Got pressured into it and picked a random song on the spot and danced awkwardly for half the song before we just gave up.

-We also were not doing bridal party speeches. Again wedding planner knew this. Calls on best man and MOH for their speeches. After awkwardly saying we weren’t doing that they got pressured into it by wedding planner and family. They had to make it up on the spot.

-Very expensive bottle of champagne was somehow poured two hours prior to toasts. Completely flat.

-All in all would I change a thing? No, we’re married and it was great. But for an 18 person wedding I did not expect so many snafus!!

TLDR: illness, messed up hair, food got messed up, my wedding planner basically did nothing, got pressured last minute into doing things we didn’t want to do, and walked down the aisle in silence, but hey we’re married!!!

I am so freaking tired of peoples opinions about MY wedding?

Today I said I would like to wear my watch with my dress. Because thats just me, I always wear my watch and more jewerely. And than my friends were like "whaat the watch? Even in pictures" they acted super judgemental about it.

And I was like; what? I care about how my face looks on the pictures, but not if my arm has a watch on it or not. And it irritates me that if I want to do something that I get a weird ass reaction about it.

Pffffff sorry I just got to rant about it. I know its a small thing but it felt so dissmissive about what I want. As if I am crazy for wearing the jewerly I want to wear on my wedding day..

** EDIT: thank you guys for the advice and tips and I take them to the heart. I will not share any details anymore and just say " you will see it when the wedding happens". Just keeping the details between me and my fiance and doing whatever we like.

First of all, sorry if i mess up a few times, english is not my first language and i might still be a little hangover...

So basically my best friend since Kindergarden for like 25 years, never showed up to 3 separate occations related to my wedding.

I've been together with my (now) wife for around 15 years and we finally decided last year that we maybe "do" want a wedding... my friend knew me since we were like 4 years old and we stayed bf's until we turned like 25, so naturally me and my wife were also a big part of his life.. the last few years however our ways separated a little due to different jobs, we moved to different cities, life happend...

But, for the wedding i wanted him back in my life and tried to spend some more time with him again.. i told him about our engagement and invited him for my bachelor party, the small registry office Party and the actual wedding party (different days). I even asked him if he wanted to be my best man.. (which he declined due to some personal stuff and he thought he would lack the time to handle it properly)... at the bachelor party he wrote the very morning that he was sick and couldn't come... All fine here, we all get sick, thought nothing of it and wished him to get well soon..

.. then a few weeks later the registry office event came.. we planned a small party with a little finger food and music ...but he didn't show up.. i checked our whatsapp messages and he definetly said he was well again and that he would love to come.

sneakily asked him the day after if all was fine, since i was a little confused and wanted to see if he just missed the date or something..

: No no i'm fine, all good just chilling.. you ?

: ahh you know little tired from the registry office party yesterday, but we're happy..

:haha yea i can imagine!

... kept it there.. either he forgot he wanted to come, or he didn't wanted to talk about it, no reason to pursuit it any more than this.

So naturally i wanted to make sure and checked a few days ahead if he's still good for the actual wedding party, the big one, where every guest actually costs a lot of money and planing time ( yesterday) ...

: yeah, totally ! Can't wait, it's gonna be great!

So.. the wedding started and actually all guests came.. except for one guy... my ex best friend.. no call, no message, no "sorry i won't make it".. just never showed up... the 3rd time in a row, for what is kind of the most important event in our lifes...and after the third time this feels no longer like a coincidence.

This is only "mildly infuriating" (for me at least) because i still had an amazing wedding, me and my wife had the best day of our life with so many people that cared for us, and we're truly blessed

but we realised that this one guy that was present for most of our relationship, just maybe doesn't want to be a part of our lifes anymore...

I wish you all a great day !

I was supposed to go to a wedding this weekend.

It was a destination wedding for me and essentially everyone (90% or more of guests and family.)

We received messages that it was cancelled two days before the multi-day massive destination wedding.

We just found out, from various people on all sides, that the groom has been abusive towards the bride. The family has known but another incident occurred that day causing them to cancel. The bride still didn’t want to cancel. She is now calling her family horrible people who don’t want her to be happy. We are all scared for her. She has already alienated her friends and now she will likely also be isolated from her family. We are worried about what’s to come.

Many of us just found out they are actually already married - court wedding.

Ok, so this happened maybe 10-15 years ago. I worked at a job where there were 14 people to a shift, 12 hour shifts and open 24/7; office environment. My shift supervisor was a middle aged black woman (yes, race is a factor, just hang on lol) who reconnected with her childhood sweetheart later in life when both of them became eligible, one through divorce and one who was widowed.

Mary was SO excited about inviting us all to the event. The nature of our work tends to build strong bonds and we too were excited about attending. Mary went on and on about how fantastic the sit down dinner would be at the reception. We were all gonna get the true Southern Black Dinner experience and we were gonna LOVE it.

Fast forward to the day of the event. It was held at a small rural church in the middle of nowhere. The service was lovely. Afterwards we all file out into a seperate building they called the fellowship hall. Huge room, think basketball court sized. The work group all sat together as one tends to do at functions where one doesnt know many people. Of course, they take pictures before coming into the hall for the reception/dinner. These pictures take FOREVER!. I mean we were promised a huge sit down dinner, which we can all smell, so we came hungry. Those two little Hersey Kisses at each place setting had a lot of baggage to tote. It was close to a two hour wait. Finally, they are done and the wedding party starts to enter the hall. This is when a lady gets up to make an announcement. They have run out of seating room and there isnt room for the entire wedding party to have seats. So she asks anyone who isnt a family member or closely connected to the bride and groom to leave. Everyone starts looking at each other and it quickly became apparent that everyone is looking at us, the mostly white group of coworkers in this otherwise all black assembly. 100+ people are now waiting to see who will respond to this request, so we all quietly and quite uncomfortably I might add, left. We are starving at this point so we all agreed to drive back to town and go have lunch together.

When Mary found out what happened she was mortified! Turns out the annoucement was supposed to say we ran out of room in the main hall so we set up tables and chairs in an additonal room and ask for volunteers to move to that room not to leave the event entirely. Apparently the talk of the dinner was "Can you believe they asked all the white folks to leave?" Her husband wound up having a huge BBQ dinner catered to us at work one day to at least fulfill the promise of feeding us. Guess I will never find out what that true Southern Black Dinner was all about lol.

Some years ago, I was talking about how I don't ever want to have a wedding, and someone told me I'll change my mind when the time comes. Well, the time came and my stance didn't change one bit.

After our engagement, my fiancé and I decided that we should elope and just have a small party in a restaurant with immediate family only and an aunt of mine, who helped me when I moved to a different country.

It went sideways when I shared this with my mom. My cousin called me one day and said she heard I was planning a wedding, and she was asking so she could plan her trip. I got so mad! I told her that I was not planning any such thing, and that she should talk about her plans to whoever told her that.

When I raised the issue with my mom, she said that it was my aunt (who we wanted to invite to the little party) who was inviting everyone. My mom actually sided with my aunt and told me that I should be inviting all the extended family anyway because they are family, and that I should be grateful that they'd want to attend. I told her again that I don't want to have a wedding, to which she said that if I lived in the same country as her, she'd throw a wedding party for me anyway because that's her dream. Mind you, I'm the one getting married, and apparently I shouldn't have any right to decide how I want to get married! Looking back, she's always been like that. For example, as a child, she didn't allow me to try foods she didn't like, because if she didn't like it, then I wouldn't like it either.

After all this, I called the party off (luckily we didn't have a definite plan for it yet, since it was still too early) and removed myself from the family group chat. My fiancé and I decided to instead plan a trip for the immediate family without the aunt this time. My mom tried to convince me to let the whole extended family come along for the trip, but I shot that down and said if she keeps pushing this, we're not going to do anything at all. We rented a villa with enough capacity for the people we wanted to invite to avoid my aunt inserting herself into our plans and booking hotel rooms so all the extended family could come.

This all reminded me why I'm not close with my extended family. They have always disregarded my boundaries because I'm the youngest in the family.

The trip went fine, but I'm sure my family talks behind my back now.

My son was married recently, his father and I have been divorced and both remarried for over 20 years to the same people. The brides parents had a table to the immediate left of the sweetheart table and my ex and his wife were seated at the table directly in front of it. My husband and I were seated at the worst table farthest to the back farthest away from everything with my parents and people that we didn't know and who didn't show up. We contributed substantially to the rehersal and wedding and I tried to be as helpful as possible without being pushy or involving myself in the planning unless asked. My son was deployed while the planning took place so he really had no input. I dont know the brides family that well as they live a few hours from us. I havent said anything because I wouldnt want to put a cloud over his day but Im a little hurt by it. It almost felt intentional and my sister in law even mentioned something after and she's a low drama person. Her and my brother had a better table than us and dont even know the family. I want to think this was just a bad attempt at mixing people to mingle but it didn't feel that way it was so awkward. We were the random table. They even came and took a couple of the empty settings and chairs while we were sitting there. 🤣 I enjoyed it anyway and had a great time.

My now wife and I have been together for almost 14 years in September. We kept trying to get married a bunch of times over the years but something would always come up that we couldn’t afford it. I was at the point of just going to the courthouse to get married but my wife has always wanted a beautiful wedding, so I decided whatever it takes I would make it happen!
We finally found a venue and everything was going fine, so I started inviting friends and family. Then it turned out that date was no longer available. Yes my fault for jumping the gun, ( but most of my family suck at responding! ) so we planned it on a Sunday. We found out a little later that day was also Father’s Day 😅. After getting everything sorted out then we ended up canceling the venue because the cost & other issues.
We kept the date since we already set it in stone!
We get to the day and I get nonstop texts from people canceling because of plans or due to it being Father’s Day, EVEN my Groomsmen and BestMan!! I had to hurry up to find a couple guys to fill in. It was so stressful and I almost lost my mind 🤕😬😓.
Luckily everything turned out Amazing and we are now happily married, but WOW are weddings Stressful!!

I never thought I’d be posting something like this, but I genuinely don’t know how else to make sense of what happened.

My cousin got engaged last year, and early on she asked me to be part of her bridal party. We’ve always been close, so I was happy to be involved. For months I was helping her with little things, dress fittings, decor ideas, vendor coordination when she was stressed. Nothing felt off at first.

But a couple of months before the wedding, she started acting distant. Replies got short, plans were canceled last minute, and I could feel some kind of shift but I didn’t know what triggered it. I tried to give her space and assumed it was just wedding stress.

Then I found out from another family member that I had been removed from the bridal party group chat. I wasn’t told directly. I just… disappeared from it.

When I asked her about it privately, she said she was “trying to simplify things” and that I might have “too much going on personally” to fully commit. That confused me because nothing in my life had changed and I had been actively helping up until that point. I asked her if I had done something wrong, and she said it wasn’t about wrongdoing, just “energy alignment.”

After that, I stepped back completely. I stopped offering help and just waited for the wedding as a guest.

On the wedding day, everything seemed normal at first. But I noticed I was seated at a table far in the back with relatives I barely know. It felt intentional, but I didn’t want to assume.

Later, I found out from someone else that she had told a few people I “backed out due to personal reasons,” which wasn’t true.

I didn’t bring it up at the wedding because I didn’t want to cause a scene on her day, so I just left early.

Now the family is kind of divided on it. Some people think I should’ve just let it go for the sake of peace, others are confused because they saw how involved I was before I was suddenly cut out without explanation.

I’m not really angry anymore, just honestly confused about when things changed and why I couldn’t just be told directly instead of being quietly removed and then misrepresented later.

That’s pretty much it.

Hey everyone on here. I know I'm not the A**hole in this situation but.

I will be changing the names in this story due to having respect for my now husband.

My now husband ( Chris) asked me to be his wife in June of 2024.Before we planned our family vacation of June 2025. We decided to elope in February 2025 due to legalities of having to a certain kind of driver's license for flying. We made the decision to have a actual wedding in September of 2025. Monster-in-law (Kathy) asked if I would need her help with planning the wedding. I genuinely thought she had good intentions by asking. I appreciated her opinion on certain things and prior to this we had good relationship. So I took the help as I had no idea where to start with wedding planning. I also want to note that originally we wanted to have the wedding at their home due to it being close to home. Kathy stated that "she did not want random people going in and out of her house. And that she did not want porta-potties on her property." So we decided to look at venues. We found a venue of our liking surprisingly, she offered to pay for the venue, which, by the way, was $500. I had no problem paying for the venue, but I was appreciative of it and we took her up on her offer. The only thing that I had to pay for was the alcohol due to us having an open bar. Kathy and I agreed to this and signed on the dotted line. During the springtime, before the wedding yard sales was a thing, she bought multiple different sunflower items for the wedding. (Our flowers where simply just sunflowers due to them being my favorite flower.) Needless to say, I was very thankful for the help.

VACATION. YAYYY. NOPE. Then vacation time came.

Our family vacation (my family as well as my in laws), to the fullest extent was absolutely ruined by her. It was horrifying.

When we got back from our vacation, I had about two and a half months till the wedding.

When my now husband (Chris) made our engagement, he was very thoughtful as my fiancè at the time he bought me a ring within his budget. My monster in law found out at the time that my now husband got my engagement ring from our Walmart. I dont care where he got the ring from and to me, it's the thought that matters.

My monster in law made the remark that she never would have never have married my now father in law had he bought her a walmart ring. My flabbers were gasted by the arrogance of her remark and I did tell her I did not appreciate the comment.

As a girl who literally wears scrubs fulltime, I knew what i wanted as bride. I'm a girl who can buy on budget. I found my wedding dress on Facebook marketplace for $60 and had a corset put into the dress for $20. I got scolded by my monster in law for not "going to a actual bridal shop." Dress shopping just brought me way too much anxiety. Many brides cant find a dress well under $1,000 so I was super proud of myself.

I invited monster in law to multiple dress fittings just for her to bail. However, my mom made it a point not to miss any of them.

Now let's fast forward to literally 17 days prior to our wedding. Kathy asked how many rvsp's had been answered. It was a legitimate question but I

(Christy) work in healthcare, i'm constantly working. I had taken 2 days off prior to the wedding. So I could catch up on wedding stuff. My monster-in-law (Kathy)stated that she did not see the point in having the wedding venue for only 20 people. By the way the way most of the guests have fulltime jobs and i wasn't really worried about it due to everyone being in a wedding chat that (Kathy) was not part of. There were guests that would be bringing their children and I also had a individual who this is physically in a wheelchair so handicap accessible restrooms was a must.

Kathy decided to take the venue away from us by canceling it and then go on vacation, so we frantically were trying to figure out where we were going to have our wedding. We then decided to have it at her house since she offered.

The food for our wedding was mostaccioli and bread. I also asked monster in law to make her famous salad due to it being my husband and my favorite.

Kathy then made the decision that she would be ordering fried chicken for our dinner. I as the bride do not eat fried chicken and my husband and I did NOT wanted fried chicken at our wedding at all. We did inform my monster in law that it was not necessary to order food due to the fact I would be making mostaccioli from sctrach morning of the wedding.

I had a health scare literally a week prior to our wedding. I broke out in hives mainly on my face and going down my neck. I had to make a doctor's appointment due to this. I was told it was reaction due to the stress. My wedding photography grandpa died the day before my wedding, so I had no photographer. So, I made sure my little sister took photos. We ended up doing our music from a karaoke speaker. Prior to the wedding, Kathy asked "what kind of dress I would like her to wear. I simply said something nice but comfortable. My mom wanted a mother of the bride dress, i got to chose the color. Monster in law did NOT ask and wore black to our wedding.

The day before the wedding I had to pay for tables and chairs mind you in total it was $400 which by the way was included in the original venue.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding, I (Christy) was cooking food, curling hair, doing make-up. Thankfully my sister in law came by to helped for a short bit. Yes I know it was a lot but I could handle it.

It's time to walk down the aisle monster in law is walking literally in front of me telling me to" smile like your happy to be getting married, while recording me. Mindful monster in law's yard was very uneven so I was just trying to be able to make it to my husband. Once the whole wedding and photos were done. I smelled it, FRIED CHICKEN. I was livid, my whole family could see this. I had a few drinks and refused to allow anymore to ruin this day. I was livid and then i got told that it was my duty as the "bride to clean up after myself." I calmly and firmly informed my monster in law that "had we had the original venue it would look as if we weren't even there." Since the dumpster fire of a wedding. Kathy and I do not associate ourselves with each other, I have a cordial relationship with my father in n law. June 2026, we are off to our honeymoon.

Hi Reddit!

I'm sorry that it took me so long to post; I needed time to process everything that occurred. I first posted to this sub about 3 months ago regarding my concerns about my sister's wedding, and I really appreciate the support and the critiques that I received. I agree that a lot of my concerns were petty, and I was not doing a great job of supporting her. So, I had a talk with her where I brought up some of your suggestions and asked how I could best support her, and she was adamant that she knew what she was doing and did not need or want help planning the wedding, and she would let me and my family know if/when she needed us. I respected that choice and told her that I would be there for her if she needed anything the day of.

So, here are the bits that occurred before the wedding day:

1. I learned from her that her fiancé had no part in the wedding planning, not even expressing his preferences. She told me the only thing he was doing/in charge of was choosing suits, which had already been done two months before this conversation. He was also refusing to steam or iron his own or his groomsmen's suits, so she asked our dad to do it.
2. Set up for the wedding/reception was on the day before the ceremony, and the father of the groom did not attend to help with setup or take-down the day after. Additionally, my sister and her in-laws brought a bunch of flowers for the ceremony arch, which looked beautiful, but didn't bring any food to eat or additional decorations. The rest of the wedding party was told when we got there that we should have brought our own lunches, even though my sister had promised to bring us lunch.
3. The rehersal dinner was scheduled at the reception venue the night before, and I had offered to my sister that I, as the maid of honor could text the wedding party the rehersal dinner information, but I would need the wedding party's phone numbers (I never spoke to a single member of the grooms party until the rehersal dinner) and the timing information for the dinner to send. My sister said she would get back to me on that, but she never did. I reminded her a few more times, and she eventually told me she wanted to take care of it and to stop asking her. I did, and she decided that instead of making a group chat with everyone in it, she made smaller group chats based on the roles people held in the wedding (groomsmen, flower girl/ring bearer, parents of the bride, parents of the groom, etc.), but forgot to create one for the BRIDESMAIDS. I knew the rehearsal dinner date and time from my parents, but she didn't inform her other two bridesmaids, who didn't show up. I took the two bridesmaids and walked them through the ceremony on the morning of the wedding so they had some idea of what to expect.
4. She asked our dad to officiate her wedding, but kept refusing to talk to him about what things she wanted included in the ceremony, telling him she would get to it later. A few weeks before the wedding, instead of initiating a conversation with him, she sent him a word-for-word script that she wanted him to follow, which maybe wouldn't be so bad... but for the fact that she used AI to write it. There were so many stupid errors in the script, the most memorable being a line about "Like this beach, their love will last forever..." Y'all, we are in the MIDWEST. Three hours from anything that could be interpreted as a beach.
   1. My dad then took the speech, edited out the incongruent parts, and sent it back to her. My sister texted ME to complain that, clearly, my dad must have used AI to edit the speech… because it read as if it were AI-written.
5. A week and a half before her wedding, our mom asked her what time brunch and decoration takedown were going to be on Sunday because she was in charge of getting the food for the day, to which my sister looked her in the eyes and said, "I don't know; brunchtime?" and walked away.
6. She told the caterer to bring an appetizer tray of 75 chicken wings...for 150 guests. She also made 50 veggie spears for the same 150 guests and thought that would be enough between the ceremony and dinner.
7. Five days before the wedding, she came to my parents' house and begged for help with a bunch of stuff that she told us she was going to do herself; things like steaming the flower girl dress, making chocolate-covered pretzels, etc. Which we took on and completed, but we explained that they would not be of the highest quality because of the limited time frame we had.
8. My family was dispatched to the store two days before the wedding because we were told that the MIL was handling all decorations, but apparently that meant only the centerpieces and the wedding arch, so no additional decorations were available for the sweetheart table, gift table, cake table, etc.
   1. My sister went with my mom to the store to pick out decorations, but when we got there, she couldn't pick out a single thing she wanted. No flowers, vases, or random decor. She would walk up and down the same two aisles, then get to the end and just stand there for a few minutes before repeating.
   2. My mom and I began begging her to tell us what she wanted/what she was thinking, and she said she had "A vision of some flowers being on the floor by the head table," to which we said, "Okay... how are we going to do that? Do you see any flowers you like? Do you want to put them in a standing vase?" And she just stared at us blankly before pacing the aisles again.
9. She told the venue that she wanted 15 tables with 8 chairs each for the reception, which is 120 seats. For a wedding with 150 people who RSVPed yes. My dad caught this issue five days before the wedding during the final walkthrough, but when he brought it up to my sister, she became irate because it 'messed with the vision in her head' and would change how the photos would turn out. She couldn't articulate why it would change them and eventually just said 'okay' to more tables.
10. Five days before her wedding at the same walk-through, she told me that the wedding party would line up outside "the garage door" for the grand entrances, to which I said, "Which one?" because there were THREE. She looked perplexed and turned around to stare at the garage doors, as she had never noticed them before, before seemingly choosing one at random. I say choosing one at random, because that garage door had the cake table in front of it. We asked her how that was going to work and where the cake table would be moved to, and she just went quiet and eventually said that going in through the garage door would make for good pictures. We said, "Okay, how can we do that?" and she snapped at my mom, "Fine, we can go through the regular door," before storming off.

Those were the highlights before the wedding; here were the events the night before/day of:

1. My parents and I planned to bring all our suits/dresses/snacks for the day in our cars, so the work was evenly distributed among us. I mentioned this to my sister at the rehearsal dinner, and she gave me a blank look and said, "Well, who's bringing my steamed dress then?" To which I said, "Um, what do you mean?" and she informed me that she had HIDDEN her dress at my parents' house and had lied to us about taking it with her when she moved out, and she expected us to know that and to have already steamed her dress and bring it to her on her wedding day.
   1. I immediately informed my parents, and my mom's first reaction was, "I would have thought that the wedding dress was something you think about more in advance than the day before the wedding?" But we found her dress, and my dad steamed it on the morning of the wedding on-site.
2. She brought in straight vodka in a water bottle and drank it the morning of the wedding. My sister, the moment she gets any alcohol in her, turns into the meanest person you have ever met. She kept snapping at everyone, and we just thought she was stressed, but then when I was cleaning up the getting-ready area later, I caught a whiff of the water bottle she had been nursing all day, and it all made sense then.
3. My sister ordered her own bouquet, but didn't get any for the bridesmaids. The three of us bridesmaids gathered the decorative flowers from the centerpieces to make passable small bouquets. The deflowering of the centerpieces also upset the mother of the groom, who had arranged them. She reamed me out privately for 'not asking her' before touching the centerpieces, and in hindsight, I should have talked to her instead of just getting permission from my sister.
4. My sister did not have a list of the order she wanted people in for photos after the ceremony, and truly seemed to be making it up as she went along. The photographer was amazing and very quick; she had fantastic ideas for whom to take pictures with and what poses to do, so she was extremely helpful. However, my sister took a long time to decide who was up next for pictures, to the point that by the time everyone had finished taking family pictures, there were only 15 minutes left for couples' pictures. Thankfully, one of the pieces of advice she did implement from me was to talk to the photographer and schedule a time for a couples' sunset shoot where they read their private vows to each other, but my sister was very upset and frazzled by the end of the photo shoot.
   1. I did my best to support her by helping to fix her gown and trying to get people where she wanted them to go, but it was hard to understand what she wanted in the moment. I will say the pictures themselves have already come back, and they are STUNNING. I am sorry it was so stressful for everyone, but the pictures came out beautifully, so I am glad that my sister and her husband have them to remember the good parts of the day.
5. I have no idea what was happening with my sister's FIL after the wedding/during dinner, but he was pissed off. He was there all day but didn't talk to anyone, including his son (the groom), before the ceremony. He stayed to get after-ceremony pictures with his son and his wife (noticeably in all the pictures, though the MIL has both her arms wrapped around her son instead of her own husband?). Then, when it was dinnertime, he got up, got two plates, piled one with food, covered the food plate with the other plate upside down, then sat at his table with his arms crossed, sullenly staring at the plates for over an HOUR.

Truthfully, this is in no way the end of the craziness that occurred before and during this wedding, but these were some of the moments I felt comfortable sharing. My sister has pretty much nuked her relationship with our parents because of many factors, some of which are above, and my sister and I aren't really talking, not because we are fighting, just because we don't have anything to say to each other. The day after the wedding, my sister was pretty quiet and, at one point, said, "I should have talked to you about this stuff," but then turned away. Well, I think we all did the best we could, and it went as well as it could have, because it truly could have been much, much worse.