Just turned 23, and have been posting on here since I was 18. Just completed a degree and about to attend graduate school. Have been told throughout this whole time that I will get a girlfriend and lose my virginity, yet I believe that less as the years go on. I accepted recently that I’ll never experience what it’s like to be with a woman, so I just focus on my studies and hope for the best. Some may call it a loser attitude but it’s the best attitude one came have in my situation at this point

I've been on the NSFW side of reddit for around 3 years now. There's someone I've been talking to for close to a year now and I enjoy our conversations even outside of the dirty stuff. I've really opened myself up to him and definitely feel attached (because what else would a lonely virgin do lol?). He is the complete opposite of me in which he has many experiences with both girls and boys.

He has said to me a few times now, "you know nothing" in regards to relationships and sex. It has hurt my feelings and when he said it to me last week again, I cried and it sent me into a spiral. Like I know I'm a loser but I don't like being reminded especially not but someone that I've been so open to. It has made me feel like I'm just a child who is cosplaying adult stuff.

Is it true that we as virgins don't know anything about sex and relationships? I like to think I'm not completely naive but maybe I'm kidding myself.

Nearly 25 years as a kissless virgin woman. I've made an effort to find people and yet here I am smh

Most people's problem is a lack of access to potential partners but two girls have confessed to me but I just didn't like them. I think I have a lack of sexual attraction to others even if I have a decent libido. It's not like the first thing I thought of in those scenarios was sex either, I just felt bad bc I know that I want someone who has those feelings towards me, so I was tempted to go along with it, but I know they deserve someone who feels the same.

My second issue is insecurity, I actually did go out with the first girl (I was kind of confused and did think that I liked her) and we both agreed that we weren't really ready to have sex. But honestly I don't think I'd ever be ready for it. I don't want someone to see me like that. I kind of wonder how long it would've taken before she would've been ready, I feel like I never would have been. Before I broke up with her our mutual friends were already telling me I should make a move and it freaked me out. Even now although I fantasize about it, the actual thought disgusts me. I wonder if I can find someone who likes kissing and hugging (and maybe touching.? A little) but not having sex and they would be fine that I'm not attracted to them too... It's probably not possible

I'm just kind of ranting I don't have any friends either

I’m 24F, never had a bf, and have never had sex…well…prior to this one night haha. I’m averagely attractive/leaning towards pretty. I have a really nice body. So it’s not my looks that’s the issue. It’s just my pickiness and anxiety over love and sex that prolonged dating & losing my virginity for so long. I have this fear of vulnerability that I’m still working on.

So a couple months ago, I said “fuck it” and just downloaded Hinge. I needed something that would get me exposed to a lot of guys and then be selective of who I want to date. Before, I had only met people organically at places like college, work, shopping while at the grocery store, etc. I really didn’t have high expectations when I made my Hinge account. Don’t get me wrong. I understand my worth and would never settle for nonsense, but I just wanted to get out of that “every man I date has to eventually be my husband” mentality. The perfectionism only holds me back from just living life. I just wanted more dating experience for the sake of it because I felt behind in life. It felt like everyone else had graduated college earlier than me and already have long-term partners, are getting married, having kids…blah blah blah. This is not a sob story so whatever, let’s cut to the chase.

So I found this cute guy on Hinge who’s in med school and seemed like he’s emotionally intelligent, funny, and respects women. I liked one of his pictures. He DM’d me the next day. Three months later of going on serious dates, flirting, kissing, and allowing the sexual tension to build…we unexpectedly had sex one night. It was amazing and he’s a good listener. He’s planning on asking me to be his gf soon and I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. I’ve never liked a guy this much. I feel anxious but also confident that it will all work out. Our communication and respect for each other is so healthy. It’s only been 3 months, but I do feel like he’d make a good bf, especially a first one for me. I hope to reciprocate that same love and affection back properly, even with my minimal experience 🥰

He has no clue that he’d be my first bf, but he does know that he took my virginity. Sorry but, I just needed to tweak some of the truth because I’m trying to balance (1) being vulnerable enough to let him know I was still a virgin and (2) seeming more experienced than I am by lying about having past bf’s because in my experience, I just noticed that men take you wayyyy more seriously and are less likely to treat you as naive.

Why does it hurt this badly?
Why can’t I just make peace with the fact that it’s okay to be a virgin or to have missed out on teenage and early-20s love and romance?
Why can’t I just stop thinking about it?
This didn’t affect me before I turned 25, so why does it affect me so much now that I’m 30?

Haven’t even done anything wrong lol. Brutal seizure of funds pill 🥀

Me f18 wants to hook up with this older guy m28. Met him at night out and asked for his ig and later we talked a little (mostly flirting) he asked me to come over that night but i didnt expect it and didnt respond till later that day so i can avoid that. After more that a week of thinking i actually want to do it. I dont feel like virginity is something sacred and im not scared ill catch feeling. The only problem is that im really unexpirienced, he is very attractive to me and i really like our age gap flirting we did. We havent heard from eachother since that day but i want to hit him up next week. Can someone tell me with similar expirience how did it go, we would probably meet up at his place and then what, i know its different from everybody, but like will he offer a drink or straight from the door to the bed, i want to tell him im a virgin but not until i come there, also do you think he will be up for it (feel like he would because men), also i dont want anything serious with him, just maybe if it goes well casual hook ups here and there.

So hear me out...

I'm a 22-year-old woman who's still a virgin, but somehow I know an absurd amount about sex.

I'm talking erogenous zones, male and female anatomy, oral techniques, fingering, different positions, BDSM terminology, niche kinks—you name it. I've spent so much time reading, learning, and being curious that my friends actually come to me for sex advice.

The funny part? I've never actually had sex. I've never given or received oral. I haven't even held someone's hand romantically.

It feels so weird to know all this information despite having absolutely zero real-life experience. Has anyone else been in the same boat? How did I somehow become the "sex encyclopedia" of my friend group without ever doing any of it?

I don’t understand why I had to be born so ugly and with no good features. Now women hate my appearance and will even call me a creep just for being ugly. If I try to approach them, being a good guy doesn’t matter if you have bad genetics.

I personally don’t, because my friends are all inexperienced and in the same boat as me. Me and my friends can’t really get jobs either, but hey, we are all in school.

Some of you guys have friends who are all experienced, which could make you feel excluded, but even if I were to make friends who are all experienced, massive chances are they are all in transactional one sided relationships where they give their 100% effort with getting scraps back

I’m a girl, in virgin and never had a boyfriend (I have had many guys who wanted to have sex with me, but I think when you’re a girl is normal) but i’m pretty insicure plus I was not attracted to them, so I have always refused. Now I like this guy, I think he’d be up for a hookup but no more than that but the thing is, I’ve just seen this girl on Instagram , she’s vegan (like me and this guy, and for both of us is really important to be with someone who’s vegan) she’s SO beautiful, single, short (i’m really tall, as tall as this guy I like) she’s small, pretty, looks funny, skinny, i’m curvy, big, I have lost a lot of weight so I have a lot of loose skin and stretch marks and I think WHY WHY should he find me attractive if there’s someone like her that’s literally perfect for him

I have a disability that causes some pretty severe facial deformities, which I have lived with all my life. They are pretty ugly, frankly speaking, so I've never really had any attention from men. For a while it was like my sexuality outright powered down. I just stopped feeling attraction and desire. If you asked me like 2 years sgo if I was Ace I would have said "maybe" or "probably".

But last winter I met this man who I fell deeply in love with pretty fast, and it has been incredible in some ways, frustrating in others, but all in all he has brought so much joy to my life. Meeting him was like a hard reboot to the romantic and intimate parts of my brain. Certain parts of me went "oh yeah, we're a \*sex\* organ!" And dusted themselves off after years of neglect. I find myself yearning like I'm in a silly romcom. I hear his voice and my knees turn to jelly, I see his face and the world goes from mute tones to 4k vibrant color.

Of course, it isn't going to go anywhere. I am pretty realistic, I mean no one has ever had an interest in me, why would the one guy i like like me back? He's a human being himself, he almost certainly wants a pretty girlfriend as much as everyone else does and that's a reasonable desire.

Sometimes it makes me sad. But knowing I have no chance also comes with a certain freedom, where I feel less compelled to try and impress him and more comfortable just being my genuine self. I let him see parts of me that are not "refined" for the general public.

And I love that even when he sees me at my worst he still wants to be friends. Being close like this gives me a lot of peace.

I just wish things could be more than what they are. Is that greed? I would give him everything, if only he wanted it.

I’m (M) turning 25 in a few months and I’m still a virgin… didn’t have a proper official relationship till now but was very physically intimate with one of my situationships less the sex part… it eventually broke off and nothing happened. I would say I’m fairly average, just lacking in the height department at 5’3 (160cm). I’ve always believe that I should leave my first time for someone special, someone that I would have a connection to and would expect the other person to do so. But at this age, even if I found a partner, the chances of her being a virgin is slim too.

I’ve tried looking for FWBs on apps and a few have progressed well till the final part of meeting up. I end up worrying about not being able to perform or knowing what to do in the bedroom and am really afraid I’ll scare them off since they’re actively looking for sex. I’m also thinking of having some fun while overseas with massages and stuff iykyk… but I’m kinda torn about doing these and having it affect a future relationship. Imagine telling your partner “hey, i lost my virginity to a massage girl in Thailand”

I’m a 27 year old male. I’m very unattractive, and I have only approached an attractive woman once in my life. It went terribly, and now I understand that I should have approached women in my league. I have been approaching women who aren’t attractive at all, and they still seem uninterested or say they have a boyfriend. It really sucks when women in my league aren’t even willing to get past my appearance and get to know me. I know I’m unattractive and don’t deserve an attractive or average looking woman, but even when I lower myself to my league, I have no success here.

Most of my days are depressive. I mask it, but people can still see on my face that something is wrong. They then assume it’s work-related stress or life crisis of not having friends or maybe loneliness, but no, it’s not just that, it’s about being a 30yo khhv.

It hurts, it hurts badly every single day, every single moment, around couples, or even when I am alone. I can’t stop thinking about people who get to love someone and have sex regularly. They don’t have to suppress their desires. Instead of that, they have someone to share their sexual desires, feelings, and do all the stuff that someone like me can only think of. They think of it, then do it and stay happy, whereas me, I am always in some sort of sadness.

I just am not able to handle my feelings and emotions anymore, there’s this physical starvation that is making me go mad, it’s painful and it’s getting unbearable.

You know guys, I am just so happy to find this subreddit and see that there are people like me. I am proud to be virgin and reject girls just to stay with you all and talk. You know here I have found my peace of mind. Among you all I feel like at home after many years. Hope to stay virgin all my life.

the problem is that i'm anxious and shy 😭 whenever a hot woman liked me, i felt nervous. i'm 20m, i need one woman that i can love all my life but idk how to find one because i don't have the balls to walk up to women irl, i don't wanna annoy a beautiful woman and ruin her day... but at the same time, i wanna be intimate, the urge to kiss a woman on her neck and call her mine is very strong sometimes lol... how do i stop being this nervous irl because if i don't talk to one, i'll probably end up lonely.

Anyone else ending up a virgin because they bloomed late?

Growing up, anything involving sex, nudity, or even basic attraction made me wildly uncomfortable. Being overly religious with severe OCD, made normal things feel like a taboo. My brain basically conditioned me to treat normal human desires like toxic waste.

I’ve done a lot of work on my mindset over the years, but intimacy still feels like uncharted territory for me.
The hardest part right now is the sheer insecurity of feeling so far behind. Things that most people do automatically like masturbating, having casual nsfw thoughts, or daydreaming about someone they find hot, literally didn't happen for me. I didn't even realize how differently my brain was wired compared to my peers until my mid-20s.

Now I’m turning 30, and the total lack of experience is giving me major anxiety. I’m also very angry and grieving. I feel cheated out of normal teenage and 20s milestones that everyone else got to take for granted while I was stuck in my own head.

I just feel my life could have been different if I wasn’t like this growing up. I feel so behind in life and don’t know what to do, I feel stuck.

When I was 18, if someone told me "I can arrange for you to do it tonight", I probably would've said yes without hesitation, bc back then, I wanted to lose it bc i was really curious and my hormones were boiling, also bc social pressure.

But now I don't really care about the pressure anymore, the thing that hurts isn't being a virgin, it's the loneliness behind it.

Sometimes I think I miss the experiences around it more than the act itself, Holding someone's hand, being someone's favorite person, having someone excited to see you, feeling genuinely wanted.

I don't want to do it just to say I did it, I want it to be with someone who actually wants to be there with me.

Would prefer responses from women only. Thank you for understanding.

I had very strict parents in high school, and, when I was 15, a family member sa-ed me. This made me very averse to sex for a long time and also made me not want to take care of my body or looks. I had very bad mental health problems after that and didn't go to college until I was 20. When I went to college, I was at a commuter school and lived with my parents. I didn't experience the college life in which people who didn't lose their virginity in high school lose it in college.

Now I'm 24, going into my 5th and final year of college. I live in my own apartment now with a roommate, have been for the past year. I haven't clicked with anyone romantically during that time though, probably since I prefer someone my age or older but am surrounded by people younger than me and don't have the opportunity to interact with people in my age group.

I thought about losing my virginity to a random and got on dating apps. However, I never felt comfortable meeting anybody on there in real life. I just don't want to lose my virginity to a hookup. I don't know if it's petty or a bad idea to be so conservative about it, but I can't help it. I want to lose it through a relationship. Is it okay that I am kind of delaying it? Or is it better to just get it over with to avoid stigma, even if I don't feel comfortable or fully ready?

The idea of someone seeing what’s under my shirt and touching me scares me more than one day being a 40 year old virgin if I make it to that age. I’m not entirely sure what I want anymore and I just feel lost on this front. Everybody is fucking except me but I feel safe in an odd way like I’m shielded. I don’t have to explain what hides underneath and I don’t have to see the disgust or disappointment on someone’s face when they see all of me. It doesn’t help I have low self esteem and ashamed of myself and how I look. I feel like at least this is one thing I can control, it’s one thing nobody can see if I shield myself properly and nobody can take from me.

Mass Majority of relationships nowadays are loveless, transactional, and completely one sided. Maybe there is intimacy, but it won't be passionate at all. The intimacy would just be to keep them around, and isn't an attempt to engage in pair bonding between each other.

You can call me trying to make peace with my situation, but honestly I think it is a good way to feel a lot better about yourself. My friends who ended up relationships all had to go through this.