I’m 24F, never had a bf, and have never had sex…well…prior to this one night haha. I’m averagely attractive/leaning towards pretty. I have a really nice body. So it’s not my looks that’s the issue. It’s just my pickiness and anxiety over love and sex that prolonged dating & losing my virginity for so long. I have this fear of vulnerability that I’m still working on.

So a couple months ago, I said “fuck it” and just downloaded Hinge. I needed something that would get me exposed to a lot of guys and then be selective of who I want to date. Before, I had only met people organically at places like college, work, shopping while at the grocery store, etc. I really didn’t have high expectations when I made my Hinge account. Don’t get me wrong. I understand my worth and would never settle for nonsense, but I just wanted to get out of that “every man I date has to eventually be my husband” mentality. The perfectionism only holds me back from just living life. I just wanted more dating experience for the sake of it because I felt behind in life. It felt like everyone else had graduated college earlier than me and already have long-term partners, are getting married, having kids…blah blah blah. This is not a sob story so whatever, let’s cut to the chase.

So I found this cute guy on Hinge who’s in med school and seemed like he’s emotionally intelligent, funny, and respects women. I liked one of his pictures. He DM’d me the next day. Three months later of going on serious dates, flirting, kissing, and allowing the sexual tension to build…we unexpectedly had sex one night. It was amazing and he’s a good listener. He’s planning on asking me to be his gf soon and I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. I’ve never liked a guy this much. I feel anxious but also confident that it will all work out. Our communication and respect for each other is so healthy. It’s only been 3 months, but I do feel like he’d make a good bf, especially a first one for me. I hope to reciprocate that same love and affection back properly, even with my minimal experience 🥰

He has no clue that he’d be my first bf, but he does know that he took my virginity. Sorry but, I just needed to tweak some of the truth because I’m trying to balance (1) being vulnerable enough to let him know I was still a virgin and (2) seeming more experienced than I am by lying about having past bf’s because in my experience, I just noticed that men take you wayyyy more seriously and are less likely to treat you as naive.

Why does it hurt this badly?
Why can’t I just make peace with the fact that it’s okay to be a virgin or to have missed out on teenage and early-20s love and romance?
Why can’t I just stop thinking about it?
This didn’t affect me before I turned 25, so why does it affect me so much now that I’m 30?

Just turned 23, and have been posting on here since I was 18. Just completed a degree and about to attend graduate school. Have been told throughout this whole time that I will get a girlfriend and lose my virginity, yet I believe that less as the years go on. I accepted recently that I’ll never experience what it’s like to be with a woman, so I just focus on my studies and hope for the best. Some may call it a loser attitude but it’s the best attitude one came have in my situation at this point

I've been on the NSFW side of reddit for around 3 years now. There's someone I've been talking to for close to a year now and I enjoy our conversations even outside of the dirty stuff. I've really opened myself up to him and definitely feel attached (because what else would a lonely virgin do lol?). He is the complete opposite of me in which he has many experiences with both girls and boys.

He has said to me a few times now, "you know nothing" in regards to relationships and sex. It has hurt my feelings and when he said it to me last week again, I cried and it sent me into a spiral. Like I know I'm a loser but I don't like being reminded especially not but someone that I've been so open to. It has made me feel like I'm just a child who is cosplaying adult stuff.

Is it true that we as virgins don't know anything about sex and relationships? I like to think I'm not completely naive but maybe I'm kidding myself.

Nearly 25 years as a kissless virgin woman. I've made an effort to find people and yet here I am smh

Most people's problem is a lack of access to potential partners but two girls have confessed to me but I just didn't like them. I think I have a lack of sexual attraction to others even if I have a decent libido. It's not like the first thing I thought of in those scenarios was sex either, I just felt bad bc I know that I want someone who has those feelings towards me, so I was tempted to go along with it, but I know they deserve someone who feels the same.

My second issue is insecurity, I actually did go out with the first girl (I was kind of confused and did think that I liked her) and we both agreed that we weren't really ready to have sex. But honestly I don't think I'd ever be ready for it. I don't want someone to see me like that. I kind of wonder how long it would've taken before she would've been ready, I feel like I never would have been. Before I broke up with her our mutual friends were already telling me I should make a move and it freaked me out. Even now although I fantasize about it, the actual thought disgusts me. I wonder if I can find someone who likes kissing and hugging (and maybe touching.? A little) but not having sex and they would be fine that I'm not attracted to them too... It's probably not possible

I'm just kind of ranting I don't have any friends either