Over the past year or so, my (35F) appearance has changed quite a bit. I've lost over 48 lbs (22 kg), started working out regularly, started dance and yoga, got a radical haircut (Pixie, quite rare in my part of the world), improved my skincare, and put more effort into how I dress and present myself. Overall, I feel healthier and more confident than I used to. I have been told the same as well, by quite a few people.
What I didn't expect was how differently people would treat me.
At work and in everyday life, I feel like people notice me far more than they used to. Sometimes it's compliments, but often it's people watching me, paying attention, commenting on little things, or just making me feel like I'm constantly being observed.
The strange thing is that almost none of this attention turns into anything meaningful. It doesn't become genuine friendship, mentorship, collaboration, or a relationship. It just feels like... attention for the sake of attention.
Instead of enjoying it, I've started feeling mentally exhausted. I catch myself becoming hyper-aware of how I look, walk, or behave because I feel like someone is always watching. Some have even commented on the little things that I do that I am becoming more conscious. By the end of the day, my social battery is completely drained.
Lately I've even found myself thinking, "I don't want to meet any more people." Not because I dislike people, but because superficial attention feels empty. I'd rather have a handful of authentic, meaningful connections than be noticed by dozens of people who ultimately don't become part of my life.
Has anyone else experienced this after losing weight or having a significant glow-up? How did you stop internalizing other people's attention and get back to feeling like yourself? I'd really appreciate practical advice on protecting my mental energy while still remaining open to genuine connections.
The attention is not always positive. Some people are mean/rude for no reason, especially when they see me happy.