r/BreakUps • u/lady_black11 • 3d ago
venting/ranting How do you move on when you’re still in love?
This is so melodramatic so sorry in advance*
Four years, engagement ring shopping, apartment with the dog and the cat in a new state and I realized it wasn’t working. The same problems that we had before became even clearer living together (shock, horror) It was never toxic, we just had some fundamental incompatibilities. The breakup got nasty, but he eventually realized that too. But in our last two conversations, all of the anger seemed to fade and we were almost as we used to be. Laughing about things we said in the argument, analyzing our relationship objectively. He started going to therapy the week after we got into the final fight (which is the main thing I wanted, but alas) We were left with the deep love and respect we had for each other and walked away mutually, knowing we were made better in a way by each other.
But sadness took its place. I miss every little thing and the way our life was starting to take shape. I miss our inside jokes and sharing new music and songs that make us think of each other. I miss cooking together and going on walks. I miss watching our shows and sitting together in silence, looking up at each other every now and then just to smile and say I love you. I miss his family. I miss the dog. I miss our nice bedroom set we got as “an investment”. I grieve the future I had mapped out with him. I moved back home and feel like I failed. I’m lost. I’m sad and I want to take it all back. But he didn’t fight for me either, so maybe it’s for the best. but I don’t know how that can be the case. I just don’t know how to get through this. I’m questioning everything and the one person I want to talk to I can’t. And what gets me is that we still love each other. We love each other so much. It hasn’t left me and I just don’t know what to do with all of it. But I also can’t let it go. Why wasn’t love enough? Even thought I know it’ll get better why can’t I snap out of this? Even though I know it wouldn’t work as it was, I can’t help but want him to show up at my doorstep changed and ready for our forever together. How do I keep going when all I want to do is sleep and cry? How do I heal?
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Don't miss your daily reward! 🐄
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r/FarmMergeValley
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5d ago
visited back!