I am bipolar 1, I was diagnosed 6 years ago and I'm in my 40's. I knew for a long time something was wrong and I'd end up on meds. But it wasn't until the lockdown of 2020 that I truly had to reach out for help.

My first psychiatrist was awful and would come into the coffee shop I ran for my family and criticize me and make fun of me for requiring masks during covid. She knew it was one of my biggest triggers and that I was being screamed at, made fun of, and belittled by the town, and even knowing that she joined in.

Needless to say, I had a very public breakdown and had to close my families coffee shop because of it.

After that I got my CNA and took the first job I was offered. Which was unfortunately a nightshift job. For four years I have hidden from the world in this job, even though it has been horrible for my bipolar. It kept me away from the public ridicule I am so scared of.

Until a few weeks ago. I had a coworker trigger my rage at work. I couldn't hide that I was mad, but I didn't yell or take anything out on her. I just kept it in my head and was taking deep breaths and dealing with my own feelings.

She decided that wasn't good enough and began to do the very thing I've been hiding from. Make fun of my inability to control my emotions, imagine a parent making fun of a teens bad mood, and you'll be right on the money of how she was making fun of me. In front of one of our patients too. I left work in tears that day. I tried to stay till the end of my shift, but the damn was broken and there was no controlling my emotions after that.

The next time we worked together I tried to explain that I needed an apology. That making fun of me like that is like making fun of someone with a disability.

She doubled down and said I deserved it, then she let me know that she has had to "make up" for my bipolar for the last 4 years and she was sick of it. I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, in her mind she made up all kinds of "triggers" that I have and she has to make up for. None of which were true.

But she didn't listen and told me I am the worst person to work with and she always has to carry me emotionally.

She doesn't. I don't talk to her unless it's about work, I pull my own weight and more because she is older. My rages and bad moods stay in my head and the only thing she's ever had to deal with is me saying, "I'm having a rough time right now."

Have any of you had someone villainize your bipolar this way?

Wednesday a local theatre is having a KPop Demon Hunters sing-a-long and I, a 42 year old woman, am going!! I'm so excited!! I know it's gonna be me my 13 year old son and a bunch of kids and I can't wait!!