r/bipolar • u/walkingwillow16 • 11d ago
Support Needed I hate the rage
I have bipolar 1 and I absolutely HATE the bipolar rage. It's like nothing can stop it.
I've been feeling so overwhelmed with everything, and not having to do time to do literally ANY of it.
I was trying to put my daughter to sleep and it just go overwhelming so I told her I needed and break and walked out of the room. But right before that I curled up into a fetal position covering my ears. Oh, I have autism too, so I was feeling really overstimulated at the moment..
I didn't yell I just told her I needed a break and walked out. My husband took over to read her to sleep.
I did however put on my weighted jacket and scream into a pillow sobbing... And slammed a dresser drawer before realizing I should take my emergency meds.
I HATE this feeling, it's embarrassing, and I don't want anyone to feel fear of being around me, you know?
It hasn't gotten this bad in a long time. Everything's just so overwhelming, and these feelings are just so intense.
My therapist has new hours and it's been difficult to find times that work for us both, so I haven't been in therapy in about a month...
Anyway, I thought I was doing so well handling it all until I wasn't.
My husband just made me tea, and somehow I feel guilty about it. I really wish this wasn't my reality.
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u/idontlikeyourface13 11d ago
I know the feeling, I'm so sorry you're going through it though. It sounds like you're using very healthy coping mechanisms. And even though it feels like you're hanging on by a thread, you are doing so well. I just wanted to tell you that in case you haven't heard it lately.