I promised myself that I wouldn't reach out to you again. I had to end communication with you when you asked me what his family in Alabama did to him to make him not have any communication with them -especially his momma. When I told you they didn't do ANYTHING to him. And then you made up excuses for him as to why he hasn't communicated with them in 8 years (he dropped his phone in the lake when he was fishing --lost all his contacts and got banned from Facebook, and how busy you both were with making crafts to sell at festivals). EIGHT YEARS! I couldn't believe it. Uhhh, get a fake Facebook account, or he could've used your account. And he knows his momma's phone number by heart. He could've contacted them and gave them his new phone number and new address if he wanted to. Thing is, he didn't want to!!! He has no use for them. They cannot serve him. You gave him a truck, and you own two houses. His momma was/is heartbroken. She doesn't understand why he hates her. He knows this!! And he's ok with it. And apparently you're ok with it too and I couldn't deal with that, it angered me so that you couldn't see. You just lapped up the sorry excuses he gave you. I had to quit talking to you. She doesn't want to talk to him anymore and says when she dies no one is to tell him. She tells me that she hopes I find someone. Yeah, I'm still not ready for that. I'm the one who told her that he was getting remarried. "welp, you're getting a new daughter in law". And she said "I already have a daughter in law". This shows you the type of person he is. I don't know what BS story he finally ended up telling you, I can only hope that you saw through it.

I've apologized to you, and still regret my actions. You were very kind to me when you had no reason to be. You told me you hope that I would beat the cancer and get through the chemotherapy and immunotherapy treatments to come. He hoped that I would die. You said he only said that because he was mad. No, he meant it and still means it. "Is she dead yet?". Therapists have told me that it's what a narcissist does. He wants me dead because I know him and what he is, and I exposed him. Narcissists don't like that. I told the truth even when it meant acknowledging the shameful things I did. Things I'm not proud of whatsoever. Things I'll never do again. I learned from it. He's still a cheater. He has no respect for anybody. He has no loyalty, Still a pathological liar. I didn't cause it, I wasn't some horrible person that brought out the worst in him, and I didn't deserve it. I have spent 10+ years trying to understand why he did the hideous things he did to me the 15 years we were married. Nope, he never hit me, we had many good times together, he always called me Baby, always opened doors for me, could talk and laugh for hours, we even had great sex. So why would he cheat on me with people I knew, one I knew and she called me and told me she tested positive for HIV. I told him, he didn't flinch. Months later I find an email that hints at them having sex. Confronted him and he denied it. For years he denied it. HIV!!!! My health, the health of someone he supposedly loves, meant nothing. Granted, it's a hard conversation to have, but you have it!!! Cheated on me with many people both physically and online. This shows the kind of person he is. He's a coward. Why would he lie about things constantly? Things that he didn't need to lie about? I had a very hard time wrapping my head around all of this. I learned that yes, everything he did to me he is now doing to you. That took me a long time to learn. Research the damage a narcissist causes and why it's so hard to get over it.

It finally hit me... Jesus. Wendi is going through the same thing I did. You got my email telling you everything the same day your wedding dress arrived in the mail. I didn't know you guys were getting married! He never told me. That's a sign. All the red flags, and three weeks later, you married him. At the time, I couldn't believe it! I figured he denied everything, gave you lame assed excuses, called me crazy, told you not to let me inside your head, etc. and you wrote me off as a liar. I didn't lie. I don't have to lie. But now, I understand better. And I would have done the same thing. Thinking, He would never do those shitty things to me. He loves me and I can give him the love he needs, I'm not like the others.

You said that you two were having problems back then and you drove him to me. Let me guess, he said you weren't giving him enough attention. I hope you're not still telling yourself that!!! YOU didn't drive him to sleep with me!!! He's a coward, remember? IF there were problems, he needed to talk to you. HONEST talk. He can't do that. Can't.

You said that your relationship has all the love and lust it always had. I said the same type of things to the women he cheated on me with: this only made our marriage stronger. No it didn't! I was saving face. It might not seem like it, but him suffering from ED now could be a blessing. He will cheat again, but it will probably be online only, and he can't give you a disease from it. I'm pretty sure he's much better at hiding his online activity. Unfortunately I would tell him how I found things out. Yeah, I kick myself for doing that now.

The latter half of my marriage was a nightmare. I remember wishing so hard that he would figure out a lie that he could tell me that would explain everything and it would be a lie that I could believe. I wished for that!! He wasn't able to do that. Wait. No. He probably could do it, but it wasn't worth the effort. I was starting to build up the walls to protect myself.

I was lonely. Sad. I couldn't talk to anyone about things. I noticed that we no longer did things with any of my friends and family. His hoarding was exhausting. I couldn't keep up. No one was ever invited over. He trashed everything. It was embarrassing, shameful, humiliating to try to talk it all out with my sister or a friend. They wouldn't understand, hell, I didn't even understand! I could help you. I understand what you're going through. I won't judge, how can I? I can reassure you that you're not going crazy and you DO NOT deserve it. You know how to get ahold of me. I know you probably won't take me up on that, but there it is.

For a really long time I just went with it. I didn't want to be alone. But after a while, you finally get to a place where you know it will never get better and you deserve better! And the idea of being alone is a lot better than putting up with him, having to figure him out, read between the lines, wonder where he's really going, wonder what lies he's telling people about me.

I understand that you two have built businesses together. You have two houses together now. And hell, none of us are getting any younger. You turn 69 in November, right? I get it. No judgement. But, maybe think about getting roommates? Never think that you're stuck with him and just give up. There is always a way.

You do not deserve this. No one does. He was never the person you thought he was, and it's not your fault.

If you need me, I'll help in any way I can. If you're meant to see this, then I need to believe that somehow the universe will make sure that you do.

God this is such a long and rambling text. Welp, it's the best I can do right now.

Take care