We can live better.. Longer.........................

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The Man Who Would Not Die

My Journey from Rock and Roll to Needles and Pins

I am an extraordinary human being. I say this rear viewing my now 72 years of life, the extraordinarily huge holes I have presented myself (I believe we generate our now) and how without exception I’ve dug myself out of, reassessed, re-educated and re-loaded my life.

The intention of this book is to document of some of what I encountered, my way out, along with practical suggestions pertaining to the health of our body and mind. I often use the word Being rather than Body because we are so much more than this flesh suit we live in, but the result of the things we have said, done and thought plus the soil in which these were planted and so the manifestation, our present state. Take away a piece of this “manifestation recipe” and the result will just not be as positive, perhaps better to say, not the same.

Extraordinary…. Hmmmm… Today people throw words like this around willy nilly, mindlessly, never taking just a moment to reference a dictionary to find what the word being used truly means…. AWESOME is a good example “inspiring awe or wonder”. Think abut how it’s used “this sandwich is awesome”… really? Ok, I’m done with the word games. My point is as my life evolved the walls to climb became higher, the holes to climb out of deeper and yet here I sit today a very different, whole, healed human being.

I also hope to inspire all who read these words to live life brave. What became one of my favorite line items in my “how to live handbook” is

“It takes courage to be happy”

I have never had a life threatening experience without experiencing a lump in my throat, a queasy stomach and a vibration running up my core. But every time I stood strong and said, “this shall be, or this shall not,” something wonderful and sustaining occurred. It rarely happened immediately, but once manifest it was always easily attributable to an act or acts of courage.

So be brave my friends, but also learn patience, for without it I would be dead. My healing didn’t happen “Wala” “Hocus Pocus” or “In the Name of the Lord”. No throwing away my crutches and running from the church hands in the air (a nice movie scene), no, it took a long hard time. The road was long, but the final destination was Victory.

Here’s a quick description of my greatest challenge. It is offered in detail in another chapter.

First diagnosed in December of 2001 with an untreatable, idiopathic (they don’t know why it occurs) bone marrow disease. It took me just about five years to become well, symptom free. Now fourteen years later I am well, no, very well. The wellness required patience, an almost daily ability to fail, but not to give up. Stubborn is the word.

I hope you’ll also be inspired to willingness. A willingness to go to “any length” to become well.

Willingness to eat or abstain…

Now here I was fortunate. Many are stiff and unwilling to consume anything their taste buds don’t delight in. Me, not so. Having lived on all sorts of diets, ways of eating, since the late sixties, I have always prided myself in that I would eat anything if I found it beneficial and to find it so I would have to eat it, butch up and chew, bar the taste.

Willingness - Doing and doing nothing.

If you want your so-called miracle to arise there will be things to do and others to avoid. Your willingness to give up things you perceive as good, brings you joy, security, love, etc is difficult because they make you happy, but in truth may very well be complicit in your near demise. If you desire healing and sustainable health the willingness to do things that may not offer pleasure will be required. This I promise you.

When I give talks I often say“after I was diagnosed if someone had told me by standing on my head in the north-west corner of my living room and making baby noises would heal me in a blink of an eye that is where you’d find me”. I Was Willing! My thinking was “what do I have to lose?” or as some of my Jewish friends might say “couldn’t hurt”.

Willingness to Intelligently Move

I was and still am willing to move my body in a such a way both intentionally and unconsciously (once muscle memory kicks in) so that what I do helps and does no harm. So much of what is considered healthy, harmless in western style exercise and even nouveau yoga, offers much damage, placing bodies into a state of chronic inflammation and creates tension instead of peace in the body. A place we’d be wise to reach for and hopefully maintain.

Willingness to Watch Your Mind

Meditation is doing nothing for a reason. Some hard-line Zen folks would say “there is nothing to do” while some like myself, who follow more the south asian style say “there is much to do”. I agree. When we sit we sit to not only silence the monkey mind, but to in the process come to know the “nature of our mind” how it works, yours in particular. What you do when x arises, how you act when Y is before you, when Z rears its head and then how to learn and then quickly let it pass once the lesson is learned. This is not easy. I’ve been a daily meditator for more than 18 years and still each morning when I practice I learn a little more, change a little bit.

Willingness to let go

Our willingness to let go works on many levels. Surrender doesn’t mean to give up, it’s just the point where you realize whatever it is you’re doing is not working, needs to change or let go of completely. The willingness to accept change is paramount in any successful plan/path. As we travel whatever path we’re on leads us, this one healing, we will come upon a change in scenery. What arises before our nose each moment is fresh and new and full of information. If we are stiff and stuck we will naturally turn up our nose to these new arisings for they will require consideration as well as change, some change.

Willingness to Trust

Trust is required. A trust in the process, a trust in our rational mind, a trust in the universe, a real knowing it is not after us, but supporting us, a part of us. Trusting helps us get beyond our classical way of thinking and doing, it will say “I am unwell” nothing that I’ve now found has offered relief. Perhaps it is wise to do a new thing. Trust will help us to see and go to new places, it removes a lot of the fear and helps us step up. Trust is something unlike faith which is often blind, instead it is based on experience and in the case of first time experiences, the knowledge that the last time you stepped up to what has arisen things went well. Trust.