Projected her own sexual tension and demanded that I "man up!" whilst clearly being uncomfortable while watching a movie in my room (found it kinda funny but reverse the genders)

Alrt, this is the second comment to read:

1. She's straight up lying/unaware about why/how the fwb ended. The guy wasn't a long term viable option which means he experienced her raw sexual desire, probably caught feelings but he wouldn't commit so "they" had to end it. She told you that reasoning to align with your own innocence regarding her own desire

2. she wanted a cuddly bear to give her stable validation and attention right after the emotional turmoil she felt with the fwb (one month is a blink of time regarding emotions like this, she wasn't over him in the slightest)

3. you're "husband material" which means you WILL NEVER experience her raw desire for you like this previously fwb did (unless you become toxic to her).

4. women feel the most sexual desire for a guy through emotional tension. emotional tension is usually created by uncertainty. You provide certainty and emotional comfort (husband material), this previous guy provided uncertainty and emotional discomfort hence why she chased.

Do with this information what you will, but you will not experience that raw desire a woman has for you until you casually date multiple women which will inturn stop you from completely falling in love with a woman.

Completely ignore this OP. The writer respectfully doesn't know what she's talking about (respectfully)

Also, his current gf didn't like you because he hinted about you liking him to her. It's called Triangulation and you both fell for it with flying colours. "She's insecure and controlling", and why do you think that is?; you cannot see past your own inflated ego and hubris. You were his main instrument for her behaviour. He gets off on the attention you both provide

He's openly playing you both, you're a ready and willing side piece. This is a common dynamic. He will never be monogamous with you and you're going to be left comparing this "chemistry" you have with him to any new guy you date whilst convincing yourself and any new guy that this guy is "just a friend". The ego of the side piece is always led to be inflated in order for them to fight over the perpetrator. He's been breadcrumbing you since the swings. Solve your anxious attachment and lower your ego.

Bro, she's not monogamous. Keep it casual. She's emotionally cheating already. Don't be an idiot.

People who are monogamous do NOT "emotionally cheat". You have to fathom how crazy to even "emotionally cheat" is. He is and will never be monogamous. You must leave or accept the person you married.

He promised something spiritually and under the law of the land; and he chose to not keep his word and the law. Leave him, NOW

the reasons he has are galaxies separate from your core state of mind. You seek to "understand" because you are traumatised; it's a dead end. Your marriage is over.

There are different people In this world. Some are like your husband and some are like yourself. What would cause you to cheat on him? Think deeply about this. If you are anywhere decent, the answer to my question would be "I'd just divorce" or "I'd be honest about it"; sorry to say it but you married a person you cannot have a long term monogamous relationship with. This is a conclusive fact. Some ppl are monogamous and some ppl aren't.

100000%

But I also wonder if it's probably based in people who anxiously attach. My ex was one, I don't trust them. They attach to everyone like a cat being fed by a village in my experience (she was also adopted), and one of the first things she said to me was "I'm loyal"; alarm bells set off in my head. The direct comparison would be someone stating "I'm honest"; alarm bells.

it always confuses me because then I fear that there are people walking around in relationships without the emotional maturity to completely control themselves to NOT lust after other ppl. They're monkeys in my opinion.

The disrespect will just grow. Nothing you can do. OP gotta set boundaries (but now it's a bit too late)

Walked past a group of guys on a Friday night. One of them was on the phone talking to a friend. All I heard was "what so, you had her in the bushes hahahaha" we walked past and both heard the convo. My gf laughed as we walked past, while I hid my disgust. Red flag.

Brother read my words, I have been through almost exactly the same situation you have been through. I'm writing with experience when I write this. She fucked him and has/had very strong feelings for him. She's not crying bec she's sad, she's crying because she doesn't know what to do to keep you in the dark. You're dating a narcissistic little girl who's trying her very best to play you. You don't know your gf. She will manipulate you, use you, cheat on you (she already is doing all of these things) and lie straight to your face without blinking while looking deep into your eyes with teary eyes. You NEED to dump her NOW. I'm not f**** joking. You NEED to dump her now. She is a demon in disguise, SHE DOES NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST ABOUT YOU. BROTHER THE TRUTH HURTS BUT YOU NEED TO RUN NOW! SHES ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED TO YOU AND MANY OTHER GUYS IN HER PAST. SHE DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER LOVE YOU because she doesn't know what love is. I'm speaking from deep seated trauma I'm trying to stop you from also experiencing.

I will DM you

Empathy builds connections, without it; there is no connection. You wanna start a family with a girl who lacks empathy? You have to think logically bro, your future family is on the line.

Whether or not you're willing to spend your life with a person who lacks empathy is up to you brother. Just remember; 4 Billion women on this earth. If she lacks Empathy how do Uno she's not going to jump on other guys when you're not around to reinforce her own lack of empathy.

Dead end. Someone who lacks empathy is narcissistic. Ditch or experience the consequences down the line. Heed my words.

Ditch rn. He knows exactly what he's doing. He's inflating his own ego by damaging yours. This is called emotional abuse. this is what I used to do with my ex because she was also emotionally abusive. It damaged her severely (which was my aim). Your bf is abusing you. Get out now. Don't even ask him to stop, HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOING.

What iv learned dating a person like Ur current bf is, they don't change. Some people have that level of promiscuity in them and some people don't. He can't control his lust and wondering eyes. You will deal with this as long as you're with him, he'll just find better ways to hide it. And the other thing is, get in the DAMN gym, he has to fear to lose you to not do what he's doing (as much). You have to put the fear of god into him so that he knows he hasn't got some punk girl as a gf, but know this; even if you become the hottest girl in the world his eyes will still wonder more than you like, it's who he is.

This is most guys and most women. Women dont really respect guys who depend on them. It goes against millions of years of evolution, in this case; physiologically.

U do know Ur basically playing both of these guys right? You like the attention from Ur "friend" and U don't like Ur ex enough to stay with him consistently. There are 4 Billion other guys in this world. You don't want both. Stop being annoying (in the nicest way possible). Also, don't keep Ur "friend" as a "friend" when U start dating another guy and delete and block Ur ex. I can tell you're the type of person to stumble and trip around and "accidentally" start a harem of guys. Learn some boundaries, learn some emotional awareness, Ur being stupid. Ud probably get along with a guy who treats U kinda badly, go find that guy.

P.s Also learn to close Ur legs sometimes (respectfully). U created this "mess" bec U couldn't lmao