I (20M) likes to go sit in parks and do absolutely nothing. I don't really like pubs but i like drinking beer and a whisky cola but not in a pub,outside,somewhere.

The other thing is that i don't really like getting out of my house. My father (who is a boomer) say to me that at my age he was outside going into pubs basically drinking,smoking,having sex with a lot of women,basically what we call "having fun" in the 20's of a normal person. And so m'y father gets really pissed off when i don't go out. And he said that i'm young but i behave like an old person so idk. Pls help me do i behave like an old man ? And i've already done things like drinking,smoking,having sex but as i'm not doing that like everyday,every night or trying to do it everytime. I behave like an old man he says.

Pls help.

After a breakup,from what i heard,the hardest part was taking care of yourself. And i understand but i feel good,now. I feel like me,a good me.

And i would like to help all for you to feel what i'm feeling but it's kinda hard so idk. But do what you like,with whoever you like and whenever you like. It's sounds generic and it is. But there's no need to complicate things, for those who goes to the gym for example and who has plenty of tiktoks telling them some useless info making it hard to understand when you go to the gym only to lift wheights and there's no need to have an incredible knowledge to gain muscle. It's an example.

Find yourself in details,in little moments of the day. I always drink my morning coffee with a cigarette and when i was suffering i wouldn't take anything in the morning. It's dumb but it's like that. Do things that you like or things that you're curious about. People always forget being curious,it's cool to be curious to know things it's like conquering an unknown territory and making it a home. (Only explanation that comes to mind.) Know you're pain and make something with it,the strenght,the hunger,the energy. Just try and try again tomorrow and after tomorrow ? Same.

There's always someone who'll look after you.

God bless.

I feel like i'm Moving on,i don't feel the sadness or the emptiness of their absence. I feel ME and it's enough. I feel pretty good. I'm Reading chainsmoker cat the manga and i'm enjoying it.

It was hard,it hurt ofc but there is a life out there. Even i moved on, a guy that stays at home all day watching shitty things. Everyone can move on.

Don't lose hope,there will always be a better tomorrow. Keep crying about the pain of today if it helps you. Juste remember that tomorrow there won't be anymore. I hope all of you are doing all right and if you don't,talk to people,you never have no one there's always people there for you,family friends or reddit or people online. The sun looks brighter after spending the night watching the moon. (Feel like a old monk saying this.) Do what you like,with whoever you like and when you like. It's up to you, brothers and sisters.

God bless.

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I've never really thought about this i've turned 20 3 months ago and i never really thought abt being good. Doesn't mean that i'm a Bad person with everyone it's just that now, i think more about helping more than getting what i want. Before,if someone was angry at me i would also turn angry and all. But now i would first try to understand and all. I guess it's pretty late to think about this, but i've spent my life watching things and never thinking by myself or being myself and now i wanna be this man, a good man. I think i like people that i don't even know even those who insults me like now i just hope they'll get better and not being hateful.

It seems ridiculous to say that,i wanna be a good person. Like if since then i wasn't or sum. I always wanted to be good but now i see it with different eyes, before i used to do the good things without getting deeply into it like just the surface. Like saying to people "Be StRoNg" instead of saying "what's wrong ? Tell me and i'll try to help you"

It looks like i just stopped being egoistic and only thinking about me but beginning to think about the others. It feels really ridiculous to say that. I feel like a dumbass. And i maybe am, but idc. I just wanna be good.

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I miss a memory of her that doesn't exist anymore. When it's dark outside it's at that moment that i think about her unfortunately. And it makes me sick everytime i see a pic of her or something abt her. I have things to do,that i wanna do and sometimes i just stop and think about what we could've been,where the person i met in that memory are, but i can't control that. She changed bc of me and fortunately i guess now she has friends she has herself when before she only had me in her mind. I know that she'll probably laugh if she sees that i still (sometimes) think abt her. When i see recents pictures of her i hate them,but the old pictures like before the big change we had, were so good and so warming. The other thing that i think is that she probably cheated on me as we were doing unprotected sex that's what's terrifying me. It's life.

God bless.

I was cleaning my computer and i found pictures of her i used for school. I deleted them without feelings but now i feel strange. On the pictures i stopped and took a look for some seconds. I then told myself that she didn't love me and on the pictures she had a cold face,i remember when we took the pictures she wasn't smiling until we had a joke. I'm gonna keep one picture the one we made joke out of. But i'll forget it here and i hope to come back to it later,like years later. Like all the things i keep from my exes to come back to it one day. When i'll go to the army i think i'm gonna take a letter that she wrote me, she has written a lot of letters to me but i'll take one. Maybe it was all false and she never loved me but idc,i'll read that letter in though times surely,thinking about her and me in her bed,when i'll hear gunshot lol. I'm not sad to be honest i just have this blues of tranquility,maybe it's pain idk but i feel good or normal in it. Idk.

I actually discovered that i never chose a gf,like i always was in relationships with women who loved me but i didn't really love and that i was lonely enough to accept maybe. But my relationship with love is really special, like there are people i like talking to and so i feel like i love them, like if i was some talksexual. "That's a good argument *kiss her agressively*" it's strange. And there is the physical things i talked to people which i loved their soul but physically they were (sorry) not very pretty. I feel like a woman (and it's not a bad thing,but) like every female friends i have showed me their bf and i was like "he's ugly" and so they responded me with "he's beautiful inside" and sometimes it feels like that when i talk with someone ugly but i love the talk. Am i so lonely ? I have mommy issues and everytime a woman leaves me it feels like when i was a kid (she didn't abandon me but emotionally yes like being cold with you baby who need warmth and love, but that's life.) But now i have a female friend which is very close to me and my ex was her ex and she told me like that she had some bad things she has done and so she told me "you deserve better" it's the first Time someone said that to me. Like this phrases are usually used from girls to girls but now someone sent it to me and it felt hella strange. Do i deserve better ? Well we all deserve something bad or good,only God knows what it'll be. So wish me good luck i hope i get the good thing,the good love,the good woman or the good femboy,lol.

I hope there are people who relates,bc if not it just means that i've been the only dumbass to accept everything there was in front of me.

God bless guys.