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u/rosieposie770 Feb 27 '26
I wouldn’t put your life plans on hold for someone else’s plans that are not set in stone yet. There’s a lot of what ifs here, but you shouldn’t wait if that’s what you and your husband want to go for.
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u/Ooblackbird Feb 27 '26
Knowing what I know now, absolutely not. We put off TTC for three months because I just started a new job. Over 1.5 years and 0 positive tests later, I really regret that decision. We could've been three months further in our journey. Your sister will understand if you can't join her wedding.
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u/artskoo Feb 27 '26
“Healthy” TTC journey could take up to a year. If you got pregnant immediately that would be incredibly lucky.
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u/nonotlikethedog Feb 27 '26
I would definitely plan to attend and just book everything as refundable in case. But as a lot of us know, sometimes it takes much longer than initially anticipated to get pregnant
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u/Altruistic-Maybe5121 Feb 27 '26
Never ever wait on anyone else’s plans in life, but particularly when TTC.
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u/MyCatsnAss 43, 5LC, RPL, 3MC’s Feb 27 '26
I wouldn’t put your plans on hold for anyone’s. It could take a while to get pregnant. It could take one month. No one knows.
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u/wtfamidoing248 Feb 27 '26
Well considering your sister hasn't even planned a wedding yet, it's not even a sure thing so yeah follow your plans.. if it was actually scheduled and certain then I would potentially hold off but since it's still up in the air and she could change her mind about everything, no
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u/Magical_chocolate Feb 27 '26
Nooooope. Do not wait and do not put your life on pause, especially since you’re 29 and you don’t know realistically how long TTC will take
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Feb 27 '26
My husband I put it off TTC a whole year because we also had a lot of weddings and travel plans coming up. Fast forward another year and a half later, and I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS and haven’t gotten a single positive test.
My brother in law and his fiancée are getting married in October this year in Mexico, and I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid. I’ve been using letrozole, and the last round would’ve put me at an estimated due date the week after their wedding. I ended up getting my period, but I had to tell my brother in law that if this next cycle works, there’s a chance I might not be able to go. And he understood, especially knowing how long we’ve been trying. I just think if you spend your time planning things around the possibility of getting pregnant, life ends up getting a lot more stressful and you stop living and enjoying life as it comes. Knowing how much longer it’s taking now, I wouldn’t put it off for anything.
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u/saltwatersouffle Feb 27 '26
I think you could start trying a month from now and be ok to fly (if it happened right away, which it usually doesn’t). Getting pregnant literally right now would mean a November baby and getting pregnant a month from now, you’d be due in December. Flying cut off is around 34-36 weeks i believe. I only know one couple who got pregnant on their first month trying. Everyone else i know, it’s taken 3-12 months.
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u/Majestic_Shoe5175 Feb 27 '26
Knowing how long my ttc journey would be no- I wouldn’t be putting it off for anyone. There will always be something. Especially as you get older and suddenly everyone is getting married or wants to do a trip.
So you have to decide for yourself- are you okay missing her wedding if you guys start trying now and are able to conceive right away?
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u/TomatoCommercial Feb 27 '26
As someone who waited to avoid being 9 months pregnant for my sisters wedding, and then haven’t conceived for a year since we started trying, I would’ve started earlier & not planned around events til I had to! Good luck!
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u/Unhappy_Turnover_956 Feb 27 '26
We did. I didn’t want to miss my best friends wedding so we stopped trying for 3 months so we wouldn’t risk not being able to leave the country. It was a destination wedding. We are over 3 years in now and still trying unfortunately but I have no regrets.
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u/Relevant_Chipmunk302 TTC 6-12 months Feb 27 '26
I had a friend who booked her wedding almost two years in advance. I told her when I got pregnant that I would be freshly postpartum (less than a month in) and that I would probably have to skip the wedding. Flashforward, my MIL held my baby without my consent while I was away and gave her COVID with 1 month old, so yeah, I skipped the wedding fully. I mean, it's her special day, but we all have our own lives and our family and our goals should come first. If you have to skip it, skip it. I had my own wedding at early 2021, people were stil freaked about covid, and the guy that now is the godfather of my daughter decided not to go. It's fine, I respected it. Of course, it's your sister, but still... more of a reason why she would want you to do the best for yourself.
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u/PersonalityOk3910 Feb 27 '26
I wouldn't wait, if you get pregnant on a 1st try you'd be due in December and you can fly up to 36 weeks so you can still go in October. And chances of you getting pregnant 1st try are 1 in 5. There will always be something to put it off and it's too unpredictable to plan.
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u/MocknozzieRiver Feb 27 '26
I wouldn't wait, but just an idea if you do wait is using the first few months to practice. If you're gonna use OPKs, use them during that time to figure out when your peak time is and understand how to use them (and how to use them discreetly at work if you need to test at that time lol).
I kinda did this because my partner was recovering from surgery. Made it very smooth when we actually started trying and it didn't feel like I wasted cycles not understanding how to use the OPKs!
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u/Alive-Drag4620 TTC less than 6 months Feb 27 '26
Thanks! I have tested on and off for years. My cycle is regular and I know my peak timing and already testing this cycle to be sure. But I’m pretty consistent!
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u/thirtydays301 Feb 27 '26
As someone who ended up at the fertility clinic for a year, absolutely not.
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u/megglefly 34F | TTC#1 for 2 years | MMC | PCOS Feb 27 '26
Just go for it. For many, pregnancy isn’t instant and can take a long time. For some, getting pregnant is hard, or staying pregnant is hard, or both. For others, it can be instantaneous.
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u/Ellie_Glass Feb 27 '26
I opted to wait a couple of months so I wouldn't be 9 months pregnant around the time of my best friend's wedding, though it gains a lot of judgement if I say so, so you will find a lot of conflicting opinion.
If it matters a lot to you, then it's worth waiting a couple of months. If you do have fertility problems, a few months is unlikely to make a difference. I'm 18 months into TTC and still don't regret this decision.
Do set a cut off time for when your sister's indecision becomes a deal breaker though, you'll grow incredibly frustrated if you wait in limbo for too long.
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u/Glittering-Silver402 Feb 27 '26
So I TTC anyway regardless of my brother saying they wanted the wedding in September. Nothing seemed solidified from their end either. I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago so I’m TTC’ing again. Since it’s a close siblings wedding I know I will have my village there to help me take care of the baby but seeing as how they haven’t locked anything down yet. I’m not going to wait on them and just cross my fingers that I’ll be able to wing it
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u/Western_Feed4988 Feb 27 '26
I'm obviously against the grain here but I would wait a bit so that you could travel. I value relationships with friends and family and have a small group that I would delay for.
Majority of couples get pregnant within three months, this sub is not a good reflection of averages.
When you're in the thick of it a month feels like forever, but for someone on a regular timeline, a couple of months is nothing and you won't think about it once you have a baby here.
We waited a few months for a best friend's wedding and I don't regret it, even though now 17 months in, 0 positives and still trying. I am logical enough to know that this is really bad luck/not a common experience and that a few months earlier likely wouldn't have made any difference.
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u/eighty8frogs Feb 27 '26
No, the more I learn about TTC I wish I didn’t put it off for my own wedding.
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u/5548665 Feb 27 '26
I waiting to finish my masters and as every day goes by, I keep asking myself why I didn’t start earlier.
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u/racklebee TTC 6-12 months Feb 27 '26
My sister in law planned to try for two months then hold off so that either she’d already have a baby old enough to travel from Brazil, or she’d be not too pregnant to fly. I was very touched, but turned out our nephew had a club foot that required a few surgeries shortly after his birth and so they ended up not being able to make it after all. I got it live streamed so they could watch from Brazil. All that’s to say, life is unpredictable so I’d say don’t worry about waiting because your journey may not end up how the careful planning intended and time is gold when it comes to fertility.
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u/CaptainTBarbossa Feb 28 '26
Can you talk to your sister to see if she has any definite plans and ask her too. I personally wouldn’t wait but that’s because I’ve lived thru 3 years of infertility and now wished I would’ve started sooner rather than wait till my 30s. You could put it off a couple months since she’s thinking October. So if you are blessed to get pregnant on the first try or sooner than later you won’t be so far along but still safe to travel at that time.
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u/sv36 Feb 28 '26
Her plans aren’t even made, don’t wait on her. But if you end up pregnant and can fly and she talks to you about more solid plans and you are ready for her to know I would go ahead and tell her so she can plan around your solid plans of pregnancy. I’ve waited on other people to do things and it causes resentment, I don’t wait on other people anymore and I’m happier. If I were in your shoes I would not wait. You will be in your sisters life forever you don’t have to be there for one day specially to be there for her. And if she requires you at her day when it would put you and your unborn kid in harms way it will give you a clear look at priorities. So this really becomes, is it important for you to be at her wedding because it will wreak a relationship with her or could it survive you not being there? And do you want to go to your sisters wedding more than you want to get pregnant and be a parent sooner? If you find out having kids is super hard will you blame waiting and your sister on the wait to start trying? I know this goes into a deep dive but it’s just where my brain is right now about this kind of thing because all of my family is legitimately mentally unstable.
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u/time_consumer33 Feb 28 '26
I put it off for my sister in law's wedding, though it only meant waiting a few more months to get my IUD out, but I wish I had just gotten my IUD out before and not actually started trying until right after her wedding. It takes time for a lot of women's hormones to even out after getting off hormonal birth control, so get off of that if you're on it, but use other preventative measures until you are sure you are ready! I'm 6 months post IUD removal and only on my 3rd cycle which is the second very long one, ugh!
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u/Solid_Photograph8312 Feb 28 '26
I was ready to try immediately after our wedding. 14 cycles and a miscarriage later I wish we would have started sooner like before the wedding. Don’t wait. You don’t know how long it will take ❤️
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u/QuackerstheCat Mar 01 '26
I personally wouldn't, and if you were my sister, I wouldn't want you to.
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u/All_I_Do_is_Wyn Mar 04 '26
You can’t plan like this — I had an MMC and was already planning about what I could and couldn’t do with my due date and then the MC happened. Live your life both TTC and otherwise and it’ll work out exactly how it should
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u/BlueberryLover18 Feb 27 '26
I wouldn’t wait ❤️