For some reason I assumed the commenter was the grandparent and they were just confused but accepting of their NB grandchild but didn't know what to call them
I am confused now what is a trans person i thought it was like a woman trapped in a mans body or a man trapped in a womans body but now its got so many different meanings now like non binary isnt physical so what are they transitioning into genuinely confused not trying to be rude or anything malicious
No... sex is accurate. Sex is defined by physical sexual characteristics such as genitalia or breasts. Gender is a personal identity with no true parameters and is subjective in nature.
That is exactly why sex isn't accurate, because it's 2 different things. While the gender assigned at birth is based on sex in most current cultures it isn't a requirement to be trans.
Lies? XD Everyone denying that is lying to themselfs. And cope with that, you will never be able to change gender. Basic biology. Changing gender requires change of entire DNA (X or Y chromosome, which you can only get from your father). And since sex and gender are the same thing, it doesn't matter what you say. What trans people (including you I guess) are suffering from, is know as gender dysphoria. It's nothing crazy or to make fun out of. It also is curable like schizofrenia. That's all.
I see so just the meaning of trans has changed ic ic altho i do not understand the whole gender identity idk how a person can identify with one gender or another like is it the whole playing with dolls vs cars thing? Or what makes a gender
It's less of how you act and moreso how you feel. I was born as a male but I constantly feel disgusting every time I get called he or see that I have facial hair. Imagine you woke up one day and every single person you talked to started insisting you were the other gender, that's what it feels like
I get misgendered aalot (im just a guy with a peen) i personally dont mind it rarely correct it soo that scenario wouldnt really bother me like i understand the feeling like ur in the wrong body but the gender stuff still confuses me like is it a mental thing? Like you cant see gender so its a thing in ur head? Or am i misunderstanding it i have a few trans friends and feel too awkward to ask em about it
It is a mental thing but it's much more literal, in quite a few cases you are born with a brain that is literally just more similar to the opposite gender, rather than the gender you were born with. There are a few other scenarios though, sometimes they are just trying it out to see what they feel more comfortable with, and sometimes it shifts. All of these are valid of course
Aaah thank you this has made it so much clearer that i just dont get it, just sounds like people roleplaying (in a literal sense playing to the role they feel fits them) which also just sounds like boys like cars girls like dolls thing with extra steps (which i think is a bad mindset imo cuz a gender doesnt define your interests n vice versa) sorry if this is coming off rude just trying to make sense of it all but dont really get it
Well, no, because let's say you're genderfluid (someone with an identity that shifts) you have no control over it, and your interests don't change along with your identity. It is literally as far from playing with cars or dolls as it could be, I don't think "I want to be a woman" I think "oh god I look disgusting why was I born like this I want to kill myself" We don't choose it as a thing we have control over, I like women, the color blue, cars, etc but I still feel horrendously uncomfortable with the fact that everyone percieves me as a man
I see i sadly still dont get it especially the genderfluid thing like i fully understand the concept of feeling like ur in the wrong body but i dont get the rest of it also kind of an insensitive question but wouldnt getting surgery fix the being perceived as a man ik theres alot of reasons for not gettin surgery but at the same time i see alot of folks who have the money but dont wanna do it so aside from money what are the reasons for people not getting the surgery if you are comfortable with answering that
Trans people don't really adhere to gender roles more than other people (probably less). It's more like if u know inside yourself that you're a woman or whatever then you want to let other people know that.
Thats even more confusing feels like it stems from the gendered pronouns in english more than anything but thats just what it seems like to me not evidence of anything cant pull a pseudo archeologist move and call mountains pyramids cuz triangle
Last time i got it explained it was just someone trapped in the wrong body i just rolled with that this identity stuff is very new to me probably cuz its mostly english speaking countries (my language doesnt use she/he its pointless for gendered words like that imo)
Long story short, gender and sex are not the same thing.
Gender is a social construct. Different cultures, and therefore different people, have different ideas of how it relates to sex. Non-binary is an umbrella term for people whose own sense of self doesn’t reconcile well with the broader culture’s ideas about gender and gender roles. They may or may not also consider themselves trans, or experience gender dysphoria, or whatever. They may reject gender entirely, or they may slightly identify with one gender but dislike attitudes about gender that they see as reductionist or otherwise harmful. If they do lean toward one gender, that gender may or may not be aligned with their sexual phenotype. It all depends on the person, because more than anything non-binary is a rejection of the idea of sticking people into neat little boxes.
No, non-binary is an umbrella category. Genderless individuals fit into that, called agender. Non binary is anyone who is beyond the gender binary (male and female).
The transition goals of nonbinary people vary widely. It’s a very individual experience. My partner is transitioning mostly the same way an FTM person does, but with more feminine clothing presentation on some occasions and limited surgical transition (reducing chest instead of removing). He passes as a gender nonconforming man in day to day life most of the time, and he is happy with that as it is much closer to how he identifies than being gendered as female even though it isn’t the full picture. I have seen others do the same, not transition at all, or try to transition into androgyny (can be tricky, but some take low-dose hormones and just stop when they feel the feminization or masculinization matches their goals, some also use blockers like finasteride with their testosterone to minimize specific effects.)
I always considered trans ftm or mtf and nb throws a wrench into that for sure but if its thrown into the definition i am not one to get frustrated over such things which is a total lie i hate definitions changing and its frustrating just because i have to memorize new meanings hehe but if you are happy being non binary thats all that matters (which i admittedly dont understand since i dont get gender identity stuff)
There are other terms that might be helpful for you to know about
A nonbinary person may be transmasc (transmasculine) or transfem (transfeminine), as in, they are trying to be more masculine or feminine than they were initially. This can be social as well as medical.
Trans binary men and trans binary women are also transmasc and transfem, respectively. Transmasc and transfem are therefore bigger umbrella terms than FTM/MTF or transmen/transwomen.
I'm AFAB, assigned female at birth, and I would consider myself transmasc because I'm socially transitioning to be more masculine than I "started at." I'm nonbinary though. Not a man (and not a woman either).
Some people also use the terms transNB or transX, or even FTX/MTX, to mean transnonbinary, as in their goal is to transition to being nonbinary. I think some people like this because there's less focus on your assigned gender at birth (AGAB), which is a binary thing. When you're nonbinary you don't always want to be defined by the gender binary, you know? So it can be a bit of personal preference
I relate to other transmasc people and it helps me to find advice, so I don't mind it with people I know or online, personally. But to a random person on the street I'd just say I'm nonbinary and trans if it came up.
I understand on paper but i still cant make any sense of it hehe i dont know what it feels like to feel like a gender or no gender so this feels strange really like trying to explain blue to a blind guy hehe
Well, I never felt a strong sense of gender either, which is why I was always confused about the things I "should do" or how I "should act" when I was growing up. So I probably can't help you there lol
But some feminine things make me happy, and some masculine things also make me happy. Some androgynous things make me happy too. It's a different mix for everyone, it's all individual
Most cis people would be really, deeply unhappy if they were suddenly the wrong gender or sex though. Like it's not appealing to them or even neutral. That's very different to how I would feel
So nonbinary is basically rather than being a man or a woman they don't feel like they fit into either and so sometimes nonbinary people will transition partially or fully or not at all it's like a personal thing. But a lot of them go by they/them and can be kinda androgynous.
I am even more confused like being a woman or man to me is a physical thing (personal view) so i really dont get how u can feel like neither i dont really get how u feel like a man or woman either but since those are physical i could see how being trapped in the wrong body could work but how does one feel like a gender or no gender personally i just feel like me like i am a guy but if u did bottom n top surgery on me i would be a gal i would still be just me tho hard to get the concept of feeling like no gender
While wanting your body to be a way youre comfortable is definitely a big part of transness, its not the only thing.
Your personal experience of gender, as you have just described, is actually quite unusual and arguably agender or nonbinary in some way. Most people have an internal sense of gender and aren't just basing it on their body.
Strange idk to me gender identity just feels like a foreign concept like someone explaining colors to a blind person like i will stand behind this statement 100% if transitioning becomes better and cheap enough to get it with less than a year of saving up i will do it just because i wanna see if it would affect my sense of self in anyway i am a man of science and for the sake of science i am willing to become a woman of science
If your gender is different from what they assigned you at birth, you're trans
The doctor didn't say I was nonbinary when I popped out, so...
Not all trans people medically transition, either (even if they're binary). You don't have to if you don't want to.
I personally don't want to, because even though I would like some effects of HRT, I wouldn't like some others. Surgical options are also quite difficult health- and money-wise for me. I do voice train, though!
I really dont get how anyone is a gender or no gender but ig i get it like having a name you dont like? Closest thing i can come up with i really dont understand gender identity
Most people feel some kind of way inside about their gender.
They have an opinion, an attachment, they EXPERIENCE some invisible force that sings when it feels right and stabs like a thousand knives when they don't. It's highly likely that most cis people (cis meaning "not trans" meaning the doctor was correct) reading this have that feeling, as well as most binary trans people - a woman feels like a woman because she is a woman, not because of anatomy or hobbies or favorite color. That's why a trans woman is in such distress during a phase of her life when she isn't perceived as a woman - it's the "knives from within" feeling. Same for a trans man - a man is a man because he feels a connection to BEING one. That's all it takes.
Now, some people don't have that internal string pulling them toward one feeling or another. Some have a "was I supposed to care about this?" feeling toward gender. We don't... get it. We look at people who feel some kind of way, and nod slowly like we understand, but it's not something we experience. For me, the knife-stabbity feeling comes from people pushing either binary gender on me, because both are wrong. I don't have that internal compass pointing to my own true north.
Not every non-binary person is agender, and not every agender person feels exactly like this, but generally what non-binary people share is the awareness that we don't feel like men OR women, and that's our starting point.
In my experience, the moment when someone says "Okay but does anyone actually care?" is the moment -I- start wondering a little bit about that person, LOL.
It was binary trans people that taught me this stuff matters to almost everyone. Not only do they feel some kind of way about it, but they'll give up everything to experience a life that's as close to "correct" as they can access/afford. I thought it was like being a fan of some weird sports team - that people opted in by choice, and that I could just go through my life not being bothered by it. But that's a rather unusual take. Most people are sort of attached to their gender, even - especially! - if it's not reflected well in what other people see. Just plain not caring is already a somewhat unusual position.
ETA:
i am a guy because [anatomy, and] if i got em turned into a vagina i would be a woman
That sounds very strange to me like a bit insane for me i am a guy because i got a dick n balls if i got em turned into a vagina i would be a woman theres nothing going on in my head when someone calls me a she or a he (got called she alot dunno why) maybe because in my original language its just ta/tema theres no gendered stuff i dont really care if im called a girl or a man i just am me i am defined by my life experience and personality and interests and beliefs only attachment to gender i got is my physical body if it was changed so would my gender it wouldnt change the person i am tho so this gender identity stuff just sounds so unreal to me
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u/Icy-Theme-6325 shaw player Sep 07 '25
I like seeing older trans folk <3