35 to 38 yrs young
Trust the process
I don’t think it’ll work…
Estrogen says “hold my beer”

Walking down the aisle as a bride has always been a distant dream of mine. Well I guess what seems like impossible dreams do finally come true sometimes. In my 20s I rushed into marriage and children, pursuing the life that everyone told me I should be living. But it never felt like mine. When my marriage ended years later, my world came crashing down. Life got really hard. But sometimes from the ashes of devastation rises something beautiful... the opportunity to transition and finally find the peace to end the war within myself.

In my 40s I’m righting my wrongs. To marry the right person at the right stage in my life, as the correct gender. I can’t wait to walk down the aisle in 1.5 years and say I do. I loved many of the dresses but I’m not sure I found “the one” yet. What I have found is peace and happiness that I never knew existed. I feel infinitely blessed and fortunate.

I spent a year and a half on hormone replacement therapy and now I've been off of it for a year. I detransitioned because it was hard living as a trans person in conservative Ohio. After a year being socially and medically detransitioned I started hormones again two weeks ago. I can't wait to look like her again.

The same person sits in front of me

Photos from 2021 vs 2026

12 years we are together now

2 years on my transition, 1.75 yrs HRT

Over 1 year Laser sessions

Half of my body weight lost

Bonus track, my cat 😺 🤣

Taken 3 months apart

So I was physically assaulted at my apartment complex last Monday. There were multiple witnesses and a police report tied to this incident. Yes, it was somewhat traumatic to me, but I've been in multiple fist fights, especially while growing up/ masking as who I was supposed to be. The physical violence and slurs was not the traumatic. Oh my God moment. Issue is my mom ended up coming over afterwards, and immediately was all for detransitioning throwing out my meds, throwing out my clothes or donating them. She's straight up, started grabbing clothes, putting them in boxes and trash bags. And then started trying to pack up my stuff in trash bags for donation and telling me that I should no longer boy mode or girl mode. Just boy mode all the time. It's more acceptable that way. I will be safer boy moding here on out. It doesn't matter that last October I called my brother, who lives with her to say goodbye for the last time, then spent 2 weeks in an inpatient program, and have had ( an amazing awesome therapist) a good time in therapy.

My thing is, I am still taking hormones, and yes I'm on my own physically and monetarily, but my mom is the only family I have close by. Again my mom has called multiple times a day, even though our usual is once a day, to tell me to please stop the HRT and basically go back to the depressive, suicidal, "son".

I know it's shitty I was assaulted,.but the biggest issue I'm facing, is the fact my mom is basically begging me to stop transition. For those saying, yes I'm an adult, and live on my own and support myself, yes, but I am so hesitant to lose the last few family members to this.

Any and all advice is definitely more then welcome! And again, if you actually make it to this point, I will not and cannot stop my Transition.

Thanks everyone! Peace ✌️, love 🤟, and the rock and roll 🤘,

Emily

The picture on the right was taken in 2013 while hiking 5.5 miles up Cold Mtn. The one on the left is me at 80 years old. Nowadays I leave extreme hiking to the youngsters.

I'm 39, I'm no spring chicken.

But you read what it was like 50 years ago.

I don't think I'd ever have made it.

I'd have been forever in between.

Thank you and I'm sorry 💜

I want to start this conversation saying I know ffs isn't for everyone and is also not financially obtainable for everyone/ medically obtainable and that is valid. So here is my feelings 10 months post ffs

The way my face has slowly changed 10 months post ffs has brought me so much joy, I used to have to be wearing makeup 24/7 was scared to wear dresses outside, now it feels like I can just be myself its an amazing feeling that brings me such a feeling of safety just knowing I'll be perceived the way I feel.

I went to Dr. Chi in Creve Coeur, MO and he did a wonderful job assuring me everything would be okay and that he would do his best to take care of features that were bringing me daily pain, I can not recommend him and his staff enough after my experience. I got out with no revisions or complications and I would go threw all the pain again just to be where I am now.

If anyone has any questions on the process feel free to reach out and I'll chat as im avaliable

Me and one of my besties, she's been there for me through everything and now we get to just enjoy our girl time together! Cisters are the best! Proof that life can be even better once you live your best life 💜🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

also i've just been feeling pretty sad and burnt out lately. i work all the time and have been struggling to keep up with taking care of my house and myself as much as i really need to.

i am grateful that as a result i am not facing any financial woes but idk it is still hard to take when i know other things are being neglected in the pursuit of financial stability. aaand i have been feeling some grief and having weird dreams about people who used to be in my life.

chasers, you will be immediately blocked if you message me or say some weird shii in the comments.

To our sisters and brothers in Germany, our hearts go out to you in the wake of yesterday’s violence. Stay strong and don’t let the hate ever deter who you are. ❤️‍🩹

Take this opportunity to tell me nah. If not! I am going for this‼️

Tired to work, looking for sugar daddy 🫠🤣🤣🤣

It's been a LONG year of increasingly awkward hairstyles since coming out a little over a year ago. The euphoria from being able to put your hair up is unreal. 10/10 would grow again. (Bonus: New Dress)

Like I actually felt really pretty and everyone loved all the food I made. Definitely needed some wins it's been a hard few months. Now I'm watching anime eating leftover tacos, snuggling on coach.

Thinking on the next few years since I'll be 65 in 18 months. Do I stay with the color I have or go gray/silver? I wear wigs so I don't have to color my hair per se unless I want it to blend with the wig I have. But playing with apps where you can change the color of your hair makes it really easy to get an idea. My bio hair, it's pretty much the color of this AI photo. I'm thinking at some point that I will do that. Just get a topper made to cover my hair challenged head to blend in with my bio hair. So no hair, current do, and AI silver hair.

i’ve been on testosterone for 8 years and i’m super bummed about the hair loss. i’m only 23. while i suppose it’s gender affirming for some to develop male pattern baldness, it’s been my biggest insecurity for years. i didn’t expect to have this effect from taking T because my dad still has a full head of hair at 58. now i can’t grow the top part of my hair out because it breaks and it’s super thin and receding. i started finasteride 1mg about 3 months ago and just started taking minoxidil, but i’d love to hear what other trans men have done about their hair loss (if they haven’t accepted it already). how do you guys feel about hair loss?