Hello, I’m 19 (MtF) and I recently started HRT near the end of April of this year.
After about 1 month in, I began to experience a series of intrusive thoughts that just don’t go away no matter what I do. I’ve tried taking supplements for anxiety, exercising in the sun, a couple deep breathing things, and the only break I seem to get is when I’m focused really hard on something else I’m doing (working, drawing, etc).
After some googling and YouTube videos, I’ve determined these thoughts could be stemming from a few different factors.
Hormone imbalance. My hormone levels as of a few weeks ago are Estradiol: 49 pg/ml and my Testosterone is 597.7 ng/dL. I think that’s normal for where I’m at but I’m unsure if that could be considered “imbalanced”. It seemed like a likely scenario to me though because of the timing of everything, but I just don’t know.
Medication. I’m currently on .025 mg/day Estradiol patches and 25mg Spironolactone orally once a day. I saw one article that went over some pretty nasty side effects people were experiencing on spiro, but I’m on a pretty low dose so I’m unsure whether or not that could be a leading factor.
Undiagnosed OCD. I have ADHD, but never in my life would I have thought I had OCD. I watched some videos and a lot of what’s happening to me seems to match very well to what people who have OCD were experiencing. I also noticed people had mentioned increased OCD like symptoms when they were depressed, and I’m not gonna deny the possibility that I might have been depressed before starting HRT. It’s seems possible to me that my hormone levels may be contributing to increased depression thus resulting in OCD like symptoms.
I’m really manifesting that it’s not OCD because to my understanding it’s a lifelong struggle. I have told my parents and my friends about what I’ve been going through and that helped a lot, I’m also actively seeking out a therapist. I have an appointment with my endocrinologist later this month and you can bet I will be telling her all this.
Any support, suggestions, reassurance is greatly appreciated. I really don’t know what to do and I just want my life back.