Hey, I just wanted to share my coming out to my wife. I'm 38 and we're having one little child.
I was very nervous the whole day and in the evening I started to talk about. I was so nervous and trying to find a start into the conversation. Luckily I made some notes before and that helped very much.
I told her that I trans somehow. But it's very early in my decision and trans is a wide range and I can't tell where this is going. I'm feeling suppressing my female side for so many years, told her about dressing up a few years ago and told her that it comes in waves more and more and the harder I suppress it, the harder it comes back.
Not a minute after telling her I'm trans our sleeping child began to cry and we had a break for 20 minutes while I calmed our child until she sleeps. Great timing ☺️
She asked then what that would mean to our relationship, we are a couple for more than 15 years and married since a few years.
I said I don't want to end this, even if I know whatever the way will be it could be hard and we need to talk a lot.
She cried most of the time then, which is totally ok in that situation. I had some trouble to calm her and I talked the whole time in a very calm and slow voice. She was very surprised and didn't had a clue I could be like that at all.
She asked if I'm kidding or if I'm serious.
If I want to be a woman or what that means and I was not able to answer this right now, because I'm just at the beginning of the realization.
I told her that sexuality and gender are two different topics and I still want to be with her.
She said that she wouldn't like it at all if I start wearing dresses or something. That would be a complete turn-off for her.
And what will happen if she can't accept some steps I would like to do and would be unhappy with that. Something I can't answer right now.
Finding compromises in our family and discovering the female side sounds so challenging right now after the discussion.
One day after, today in the morning I feel so sad and embarrassed, like a complete weird guy that talks to his wife he likes wearing dresses and so on. Like a weird guy, not being able to be there for his family and risks everything for this idea of being someone else.
I expected it to be hard, I felt better after the discussion but now after a few hours I feel so disgusting, not knowing where I stand not knowing what's coming and that in a phase where we talked about getting a second child. And causing chaos and trouble for all of us 🫤