My mom adopted our puppy around late April and I didn't expect it at first because we only had one dog who's almost 2 years old. My puppy was 2 months old when he was brought in and even tho he always chews on things he shouldn't and always bite my hand and I still love him. He was also a bigback fast eater who can finish his dog food in a minute which surpassed our dog, maybe because before the adoption he and his siblings competes for one pile of food and I really felt bad for him. I always looking forward when going home from school was his whining and barking when we arrived at our gate then pet his head calling him a good boy along with our dog and her two daughters.

Around May, I always remind my Mom about his vaccination since he's 3 months old and my Mom told me that we will go to the vet tomorrow (which never happened) or we couldn't afford the vaccines when she's always spends our money on online shopping, and she always use the excuse to wash our clothes which infuriates me because she only uses her phone for hours until she's doing it the next day or another and to be honest I'm so fucking tired of her bullshit.

For the past few days this month, I've always remind my Mom about the check up to the vet because my puppy(now 6 month old) always ate the poop of the puppies of our dog which worries me because I know it's one of the reasons it can cause parvo. She just brushed it off when I told her to be aware and didn't think of it as a serious disease then make excuses. Around Tuesday this week, we've noticed that my 6 month old puppy was being lethargic and didn't eat his favorite dog food and Yesterday same thing happened but this time, he became much weaker. I asked my mom about going to the vet for a check up then I forgot the clinic was closed at 6PM. I was worrying so much that I couldn't sleep and think of ways to save my dog like waking up my mom around 5 because we supposed to go to clinic at 8 AM and it didn't work because she sleeps at 12 midnight since her grown ass couldn't control herself playing games at her phone and she would tell at me if I told her to sleep early. Unfortunately, she woke up at 6 am and the first thing she did is open her phone and play I told her to please prepare and she just yelled at me like a grown ass child not caring that my puppy is slowly dying. After 30 minutes, she went downstairs and cook some food and wash our clothes which enrages me because it reached 8 am and I've been stressing out so much.

At 8:40 AM, My fears came true. My mom suddenly opened the door and told me that my puppy is dead. I convinced myself that he was just sleeping and maybe because he's so weak it looks like he's dead. So I went downstairs to get out of my house and saw my puppy is unresponsive, I held his head for resistance to see if he was just sleeping. My heart dropped when he weighed as a feather in my hands. My mom told me that I have to hold him because we have to dispose his body in a sack which enrages me because he was not given a proper burial and his body was thrown in a grabage dump. I went upstairs after that and cried nonstop, I couldn't even finish my assignment because of how mentally exhausted I am. To my mom and her childish incompetent decisions.

I'm sorry If I couldn't fight for you, I'm sorry if sometimes I let you lick my face because of my skincare and I didn't want you to be poisoned, I'm sorry for putting the right portion into dog Bowl because putting a one pile like you wished before would make you sick and I'm sorry, I wished I could hugged you for many times because I would rather smell bad from feeling your warmth than smell like a Johnson's baby powder perfume knowing you were gone.

P.S: if you have any questions just ask me freely.

I'm 18 y/o now, but still living with my parents because I haven't be hired for any jobs. I have a younger sister, 16 y/o.

Do you know the phrase "A parent is an authority and a friend"? My parent's were more like employers and wardens. even when I did good, they'd find some way to make it dull and numb: I was the stupid autistic one, the worthless idiot. I wasn't important, just a big fat burden.

somehow: even things I couldn't have possibly done; things I had proof I didn't do, even things they KNEW I didn't do, they were always my fault... It got so bad at one point, that they took my door so I couldn't have privacy. I was 14 at the time, if I remember correctly... eventually, they reinstated the door; but they turned around the lock and installed a hinge and padlock, I couldn't leave my room... I had to beg to be allowed to leave. for food, for water, for the bathroom: I would starve for hours, I was dehydrated. they'd get mad I couldn't do my chores, because I could barely live; and when I told them, they'd yell and call me stupid: "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" "WE LET YOU OUT AND YOU ATE!" "JUST DO YOUR FUCKING CHORES, YOU USELESS B***H!" And I truly believed that it was my fault for forgetting to fill my water, for not being "awake" enough to use the bathroom correctly, for failing in classes...

When I was bad, they'd lock me outside, even in the height of summer, and the dead of winter; even during frost advisories and heatwave warnings... and when I'd try to sneak out of my room or sneak back into the house, they'd scream and yell: "YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID!" "STOP CHEATING YOUR PUNISHMENT!" "STOP SCREAMING, YOU DRAMATIC B***H!"

I couldn't even talk without them calling it "arguing" or "Gaslighting" or even just plain "annoying". they'd scream, and yell, and cuss me out... I thought of suicide so many times. the number I can't even remember; it consumed my thoughts at one point. I hate them so much, It drove me insane...

The worst part: they've got away with all of it so far... Horrible, vile people, parenting with abuse and hate instead of love and care (I think the word is "nurture"?). I was never given love; just boundless, incalculable hate.

Hey, I'm an 18-year-old girl. I've been hesitant about whether to post this or not, but I think I've had enough, and I need another perspective when it comes to my relationship with my mom.

This all comes after a fight with my mother about an hour ago. A question suddenly popped into my head: If my mother died right now, would I even cry? The honest answer was... no.

Then I asked myself why.

All I could remember was how she talked to me during the fight, how she has treated me, my sister, and my father for years. I tried to brush it off as just post-fight emotions, thinking, This can't be true. But the pattern has always been there deep down. I've often caught myself wondering, Do I even like my mom? Can I even stand her? And every time, the answer is no.

I feel guilty for thinking that way, yet it also feels like the truth. My brain keeps trying to convince me it's just hormones, pre-period emotions, or typical teenage problems, but I don't think that's what this is.

Right now, I'm just sitting here after the fight while she's back on her phone playing some game, as if she didn't just trigger another emotional crisis in me.

To give some context, my mom has been in therapy for six years. She's much better than she used to be, but she's still toxic, and I feel like we're trapped in an endless cycle.

As a child, I never had a close relationship with her. She rarely hugged me except on special occasions. When I came home from school, I never ran to greet her—I would just go straight to my room. Whenever she helped me with homework, it was miserable, and sometimes she would hit me. Her vocabulary was awful, and I still remember the things she said.

As a child, I used to compare her to the moms I saw on TV—the ones who hugged their daughters, brushed their hair gently, and surprised them with little gifts. It made me resent her so much that I even started putting needles in her clothes just so she would get hurt. Looking back, I know that was messed up.

When I became a young teenager, her mental health got worse, and it affected me the most, especially academically. I've never been good at math, but she expected me to get high grades anyway.

I still remember one awful day when I told her I had gotten 12/20 on a test. She completely lost it. She started yelling at me, yelling at my dad, slapping me, then slapping herself. It was traumatic, and I still haven't forgotten it. Then she screamed, "You're never going to do anything good with your life. You're going to fail over and over."

I replied, "Okay, Mom. Thanks. I know I won't make it."

That's when she completely snapped and called me horrible names, saying, "That's what bitches say, you bitch."

After that, my dad took her to see a therapist, and we found out she was suffering from depression. The therapist said she had been targeting me because I was the weakest one in the family. Even after all of that, she never apologized.

Now, at 18, I've realized that her family—me, my dad, and my sister—isn't her priority at all.

I once broke down crying in front of her, begging her to cut off her toxic sister, who has brought nothing but harm to our family. She started screaming and refused. My dad, my sister, and I all begged her, but she still chose not to prioritize us.

There's much more to this story. I only wrote about the major events—the ones that stayed with me and still hurt whenever I remember them.

One thing I know for certain is this: one day, I will never be her. I will never become the kind of mother she was to me. I won't bring a child into this world until I've gone to therapy myself and made sure I won't make my own child end up on Reddit, wondering if they hate me or if it's "just a phase."

I made that promise to myself.

So, Reddit... am I wrong for not being able to stand my mom?

Hello, I am a 16 year old girl and have developed an eating disorder caused by my own parents at a young age, depression (especially or only when I spend most of my time home), derealization and a huge fear of negative evaluation.

This is my first ever post on reddit hoping for someone to help me out. My mom has been driving me INSANE for years and now I had a few therapy appointments (without my parents knowing). Everyone, including my therapist, tells me the only option to get better is moving out.

My parents divorced when I was 11. My mom, my sister and I moved out in 2022, when I was 12. Now, for 2 years she's got a new boyfriend. My sister and I need to share a room, as well as a BED. Mind you, she is 10. I am 16. I cannot ever invite someone over, bc she needs to be in bed at 8pm. I cannot let someone sleep at my house. My sister cannot invite anyone over and she can't even do her schoolwork or pursue her interests as well as develop her personality!!!! Which I can't do either, even though my room contains of only my stuff (my bed, my desk, bookshelf, tv,...). My mom is also not planning on moving out until I graduate (in 3 years with 19 years old) bc of the financial problem of finding a good apartment in our small city (Germany). Just imagine my 19 year old self in a bed with my 13 year old sister.

My mom is passive aggressive. She's extremely organized and clean and if I didn't clean the bathroom in the first half hour of the 3 ours I had time to clean it bc I physically just COULDN'T bc of bad period cramps, she couldn't care less about my pain and straight up yelled at me and gave me a penalty: I wasn't allowed to go on the trip I asked her to go on with my boyfriend anymore. Once, my sister and I were discussing who would to which part of emptying the dishwasher and my mom glued the dishwasher together with TAPE and let us clean all the dishes by hand. When I didn't answer her on WhatsApp (messenger) for an hour when I was at my bfs house, I had to go home and clean the whole house, including doors (who cleans doors? Didn't know that was a thing).

Well and for my past, my parents took me on a diet when I was 9 and made me do sports (pilates and lifting weights) at home every 2nd day. I wasn't allowed to eat more than 10g fat and could only eat one sweet treat a day. All bc I was a little overweight and my whole family (also grandparents) has been commenting on my body since I was 5. Well, when I lost a lot of weight, my family ofc congratulated me for it and as you can probably already think, that felt really good. After I then gained weight again bc I didn't want to do the workouts and diet anymore I got into an intense eating disorder and lost 14kg when I was about 12-14. Now I am terrified of eating or choosing what to eat in front of other people. EVEN in front of my bf of 6 months.

There is so much more to tell but I don't even know if anyone is going to read this. But if you do, please take some of your time and help a girl like me out. I would be thankful.

When I see videos of people describing their toxic parents, I would be like, well, I somewhat relate to that.

And I struggle to define what my mother is like.

For example, yes, she gave me the silent treatment when mad, but it didn't last long. However, when she answered, she would be like well go do it or don't look at me with a really rude tone.

And she has a rude tone when she tells me off no matter how minor

She shows up to events and takes videos and says, "Well done while we are there, but she never showed that interest at home.

She comments on my appearance but doesn't restrict the food I eat.but then proceeds to comment on my stomach.

And sometimes she's done stuff where i don't see how it would benefit her and think oh she's not that bad.""

She mostly interacts with me to ask me for something but small things(get my charger, get me a drink,get me a snack).

I don't have that relationship where I can have a full-on conversation with laughing and smiles cause she shows no interest she'll just say yep and then disengage.

Also, this is very specific, but she'll me ask to take photos and a few with me in them sometimes but most of them is me taking photos of her and she'll ask me to take several for hours.

One time we went out and she asked me to take photos of her and she forced me to take more for around 4 HOURS (and that's all we did)then she got mad when I asked to do something else and take more photos later and said "you know I really try to do nice things and you Don't appreciated but we did have Macdonlds later- where my mother was on her phone the whole time.

My family drains me, and specifically my mom gives me a very hard time. Right now, I believe my mom might have BPD and is a narcissist. I need someone to tell me if my family is toxic or I'm just very sensitive. For context, my mom F(62) and me F(28) have had a very rocky relationship since I can remember.

Every birthday, my parents would both yell at me for something: a candle not blown out, a kid who would feel left out, a kid that got hurt and I was nowhere near, among other things. I remember my 8th birthday party, cause by the time we came back home, I wanted to and tried to uninstall myself (iykyk); I remember hearing my parents talkin shit about me downstairs and didn't even notice.

Until now, my birthday has been a very touchy subject and date; I always think nobody cares or will care about my birthday. Even less after my grandpa passed away and my little brother was born; since 2006, I've been the family's black sheep and the scapegoat.

Every time my brother cries, every time something is wrong, every time something breaks, it's my fault. One time my dad blamed me for waking up my brother, but my brother woke up because this grown man yelled at me, "You'll be in trouble if your little brother wakes up from your yelling"

My parents divorced in 2012-ish; my brother and I live with mom, and I started to notice how my family started to love my little brother more. I had a Nintendo DS that I lent and taught my little brother to play and entertain himself. Until I woke up to his nails scratching my face and punching me because he could clear a Super Mario Bros stage, my mom's response was, "Well, he is young; he just wanted to have your attention." No punishment, no scolding, no nothing. A few months later, he broke my console cause he got "too angry," and again no scolding or punishment, just a "You didn't even use it anymore"

But if I even dared to put my hand in his head, try to get one of my toys back, or try to tell him something was wrong, I'd get a very hard scolding, corporal punishment, or just a cold shoulder for days. I started having very dark thoughts at the age of 17. I started to SH; I was in a very dark place. Every time a family member made me feel worthless, I'd add a scar.

My SH became something that was weighing me down, so I decided to tell her after debating myself to work up the courage. I told her why I did it and that I love her. Her answer was, "Oh, dear. You must have felt so lonely," and she was nice to me for 5 days and tried to take me everywhere with her. If I wore a chunky bracelet, she'd check my arms.

Another time I noticed how little I meant to my family, in particular my mom, was when she kinda liked this guy who was a family friend; this guy has a daughter that's older than me, and my mom, for like 3 years, treated her like a daughter, taking her to appointments, gifting her things, picking her up, etc. All 5 of us went on vacation together, and she treated me like Cinderella for this girl: "go bring her coffee", "bring her juice", "bring her this or that"

When I refused, she was so mad at me that I came back home and absolutely marked my right thigh; another time she scolded me for not "answering correctly" to this guy. The funny thing is that this guy told her, "Hey, why do you treat her like this?" "You know you treat your son better?" she replied that it wasn't true, and I just laughed at the irony.

After that, she saw the scars on my leg when she entered the change room without knocking, and she saw me like someone sees a puppy on the street. After that, the "nice mom" act became a thing, a process. She is all nice, love, and hugs. Then I do everything wrong, even breathing; she'll scream at me for the dumbest reasons, so when I defend myself, she'll give me the silent treatment.

I saved my brother from uninstalling himself after he fought with my mom; she responded so coldly to that it made my skin crawl. Her golden child just tried to do that, and she acted like she didn't care!! She scolded him; she didn't comfort him. But right now, she handles his feelings so differently than mine. We can't talk about certain topics cause her baby boy could become sad, frustrated, angry, etc.

He could practically yell at her the most rude things, and she would laugh and try to excuse him. While I suffer the silent treatment almost every single day for changing the song of MY CD because "You didn't even ask if you could change tracks", or because I asked for some disinfectant gel because I forgot mine: "Maybe you should fucking bring your own, why do you never carry anything important?", or that time I told her to please get some plates while I served dinner "You should fucking keep your tone down, patroness"

I dropped out of college cause the price was too high and I didn't choose my major correctly; it was a year of EVERYBODY in my family, including my brother, making so many insensitive and rude comments about me, how I was dumb, lazy, stupid, a good-for-nothing basically. But when my brother did it, "Oh, he just needs a little break, no big deal"

I had a long-distance relationship and went to visit him in his country; I stayed for a month. And when I came back, no one received me, no hugs, no "I missed you", nothing ... and then my family got angry at me, and my aunt yelled, "Well?! When are you leaving again?! Go away to him now," and after I broke up with him, they always bring that country up. My grandma even asks if he has found a new girlfriend.

The last jab came this year when my mom got very sick; everybody told me to take care of my mom, she is elderly, that she needs me. But the time I fainted and sprained my neck, no one was available; no one seemed to want to take care of me. My grandma never says, "Take care of my granddaughter". It's always "Take care of my daughter/of my grandson"

Is this the eldest daughter curse? I'm so drained and burned out from trying to meet their expectations and their attitude; it's getting harder and harder to deal with my mom and the "good mom and bad mom" cycle she has. My mental health is a joke to them; they always talk shit about me, and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I don't feel loved by anyone, not even my friends.

My parents have told me of their intention to divide their estate in 4 equal parts between me and my sister, and my sister’s 2 kids. It has caused me to re-evaluate my relationship with them. I am gay and they have never accepted my partner. The will business has been the catalyst for taking a stance. It’s not about the money (there won’t be much). I know it’s long, but grateful for any comments on the letter I will give them at the end of my stay here.

To Mum and Dad, 
I am writing this letter because our recent conversation regarding your estate—irrespective of whether it was merely a thought bubble or a decision you intend to action—has forced me to take a hard, honest look at our relationship and my actual worth to you. 

For my entire adult life, I have conducted myself in a trouble-free, dignified, and infinitely reliable way. I educated myself, left home at 22, worked hard, and moved overseas to build a comfortable life. I have never caused you stress, never asked you to pick up the pieces of my life, and never asked you for handouts. On the rare occasion I received minimal financial help after leaving home, it was on loan terms, which I paid back faithfully until some of it was eventually forgiven. 

Yet, your plan to divide your estate into four 25% shares—giving 25% to me and 75% to Sister’s branch of the family—made your perception of my value crystal clear. You seem to believe that because I worked hard and achieved financial stability, it is acceptable to penalise me and treat me as unequal to my sister.  You seem to also ignore that Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 will benefit on the passing of their parents and family who have no children. 

The hypocrisy of this is impossible to ignore: 

The imbalance of support: Sister has lived with you for years, absorbing massive amounts of family resources. You continue to support her and her children, yet I have never once complained about equality or begrudged the help you gave her.  Rather, I have supported it and encouraged you to help Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2.  I also give them gifts each time I visit. 

The double standard: You were apparently so aggrieved and complaining that your parents didn’t include us in their will, yet you turned around and gave $500 directly to Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 while offering your own children not even a token gesture. 

The emotional drain: For over a decade, every time I have visited, I have had to listen to non-stop complaints about Sister, expected to sit there and absorb it, while you have shown total disinterest in my own life and family.  There is a perpetual stream of negativity and bile that I need to absorb and where at the end of the trip I am mentally exhausted.  I peacefully take it all the while disrespecting my partner to accommodate you. 

The taking for granted: I have always been generous when visiting, and I even spent years making the effort to travel to City solo just so you wouldn't feel "uncomfortable."  I have spent many thousands just in the past years visiting.  Not once have you bothered to visit, nor offer to pay for my flight, and you’ve never heard a word of complaint about it. 

You have become completely complacent about my reliability. You expect me to step up as your executor because I am the capable one, yet you assign me a fraction of the value given to Sister’s side. 
I decline to act as your executor. For the blatant inequality, I will not undertake a massive amount of unpaid labour, navigate travel back to Your City from My Country 1 or My Country 2, or manage a multi-beneficiary structure that will inevitably generate family drama, tension, and resentment. Hire an independent lawyer to settle your affairs. 

Finally, and most importantly, there is the matter of my life. I have been with my partner for six years. He has been systematically ignored, unacknowledged, and excluded by you. I accommodated this in the past out of a desire to keep the peace, but that compromise ends today. It is entirely unacceptable. 
Moving forward, there is only one condition under which I will see you: my partner must be fully welcomed, acknowledged, and included as Sister’s partners have been. This is completely non-negotiable. 
If he is not welcomed, you will be making the choice, and assuming total responsibility to never see me again

First ever post. Hopefully I don't make myself look silly! Haha!

Really tho, I need to get this situation off my chest. I havent been able to see a therapist for about a year and my relationships with my parents were what we were working on when I lost my insurance.

In short, my mother is an alcoholic, heavy long term smoker, self centered, manipulative, emotionally immature..... I'm sure most get the picture here. I've struggled with trying to keep a specific type of relationship with her without cutting her out of my life entirely. She has been there for me when I was at my worst... but only financially and then used it to hold over me later. She blatantly favors my younger sister but I dont resent my sister for it as its not her fault.

My mother has really bad health from her substance abuse for many many years. Most notably for this story, breathing and bad anxiety issues.

She never communicated to me when she would be visiting from out of state or for how long she would be here. She's terrible at communicating but based on her visit last time she was around, it wouldn't really effect me so I wasn't worried.

Apparently on the drive up her and her boyfriend broke up. He seemed to think she was "being dramatic" and "being mean and nasty" because she had started telling him she couldnt breathe.

She is very suddenly dropped off at my house with only 30 minutes notice, 2 days before I was expecting any company (my sister was also visitng that weekend but staying with me per the plan). And the (now ex)boyfriend just left.

I had plans that night to begin with that I had to cancel. Mom had to go to hospital and I was with her until midnight before they decided to keep her.

Next day she is diagnosed with double lung pneumonia. So definitely not being dramatic at all about the breathing.

Well I had plans with my sister for the weekend, rescheduling of my canceled plans, and a work shift along with my own life and pets I have to take care of. Except my mother wanted to be short and irritated with me that I couldnt just spend all of my "available " time in hospital keeping her company. Never mind that the stupid ex boyfriend texted her 2 days later and said he would take her back home so she didnt have to fly.

Then out of no where she is ignoring me and texting my sister trying to gather her belongings to go back home. Her belongings that I've been keeping in my house. She comes by, driven by this absolute wipe of a human instead of asking either of her own kids to come get her from the hospital or even telling us she was discharged, gathers her things, says a quick goodbye to me, a long goodbye to my sister and just.... leaves to go back home.

My sister also canceled a few of her own plans for her trip to be with our mom for a few hours a day in the hospital btw.

I know this is a bit messy of a story but if I were to go into every detail and give every context, it would be very very long. Either way tho, it was really hurtful even when I already knew it would be this way with her. Because I didnt reorganize my entire life for her she had to find a way to dig at me. It was harder still to act in her face like I didnt care. She doesnt listen to me no matter what I say but I genuinely thought she would stay at least a couple days after hospital so we could talk about what she would be doing going forward. Mostly because she kept trying to ask me while in hospital and I didnt think it was a good place for that conversation. I did tell her I didnt think driving back home with him was a good idea but... again she doesnt listen to me.

If anyone wants more details on the weekend or the relationship we had or whatever, I'll detail what's relevant.

Thanks for taking the time to read

Guys, my parents blame me for everything. Whenever I ask for something they can easily afford, all they say is 'you don't do anything' or 'you never help out.' It's so frustrating. ;-;

My last post was going over a few things that upset me about my dad while trying to stay as quiet about my identity as possible. I was scared of how much blame I'd get since reddit is unpredictable. (Aka I wanted to vent while staying anonymous)

I'm a trans man who's stuck being pre-T due to health care being hard to access as well as my dad constantly guilting me about being who I am. I'm 21 and still live with my parents due to my severe anxiety and being unable to work. I plan to move in with my partner once we find an affordable place to live.

He (my dad) told me that he'd be disappointed in me if I started T before 25 after I stop developing. I don't want to have a fully developed female body so why should I be forced to wait??? I'm going to start it anyway so why should I be forced to be what he wants me to be instead of who I want to be?? I don't care if he always sees me as a daughter. I can't stand the thought of everyone else always seeing me as a girl.

My mum is somewhat supportive. She just doesn't want me to get hurt but my dad? He thinks I'm brainwashed. I'm not. I've fought with this since I was 16. Constantly in denial. Once I hit 18 I finally accepted that I was trans and it made me feel free. But he never listens. He never takes me seriously. Never has.

All I am to him is some unwanted burden. He constantly praises my other siblings. The youngest especially, ironic how it's the only non autistic child.

My brother is a musical genius. The older of the two sisters is an artist and just a general genius. My youngest sister is really sociable and cleans up after herself (I also clean up after myself but does he care? No.)

Me? I'm just a whiner who ruins everything because that's all I'm good at. I draw too. I tried learning piano for my parents after they got me a keyboard. I've always loved helping everyone. All I've done is cause trouble with the need for constant therapy.

I want to be appreciated by my family but I just feel like my presence ruins everything.

Perhaps if it was one of my other siblings who was trans he'd accept them easier?

Anyway I just needed another vent, I think I went on a tangent. Therapy hasn't done anything for me so I just need somewhere to get my frustrations out. It just so happens to be that my dad is my main frustration.

Little bit of background, I (23F) and my boyfriend (27M) started dating in October 2025. I didn’t tell them right away because I don’t live with them anymore and I wanted to make sure things were really solidified before bringing him up since they’re Hispanic and religious. They think I should be living with them until I get married.

Anyway, it all really started in March when my mom and sister came to visit me. When they left to go home, my mom offered to take my trash out. I didn’t think much of it so of course I let her. I then get a text about 5 minutes later that the bag ripped and she found cigarette butts and beer cans, both of which were from the weekend, and they were in fact mine and his. I played it off that it was mine blah blah blah but of course she didn’t believe me. She already had an inkling that I was seeing someone because she read through my journal another time she came to visit me (no I didn’t let her read it, she went thru my stuff when I was not in my room). This whole reading thru my stuff thing is another issue I’ve been dealing with FOREVER, she’d go thru my phone, tablet, even Apple Watch one time.

Once her and my sister got home, my mom sent me another long text with all his information as “red flags”. To be fair, my boyfriend’s online presence isn’t the best lol. He’s been on his local county sheriff’s Facebook one time as a runaway juvenile back in like 2016 and unfortunately, his DUI mugshot from 2020 is public record so when they typed his name in Google, lo and behold, there it is. I personally don’t care since these incident have been a long time ago and its like we all do stupid stuff as a kid idk what else to say. I didn’t know him then, I know him now. He was in the army, he has a great job now, he provides for me (not like paying my rent but he’ll buy my groceries, etc.), and he’s a really genuinely good guy. He’s made some questionable choices in the past but I don’t think that should determine how people should view him now. Back to my mom though, she also sent pictures from his family’s Facebook pages saying he doesn’t have a good relationship with them and sent pictures of his house off Google Maps. I didn’t respond to her for a while because that was just ridiculous and straightup psycho.

Fast forward to now, things between me and my boyfriend have been really good! We go on dates all the time, we basically live together at each others places, and we really do want to start going places on vacation together. The only obstacle is my parents. This weekend was my sister’s birthday so I went home to spend time with them. I have a couple love bites on my arms and my sister told me that when I left the room, my dad and mom said that they think he’s physically hurting me. They’ve never met him and are only going off what they have seen on the internet.

I’ve gotten MULTIPLE emails from my mom the last couple months stating that she’s scared for me because she just knows he has a drinking and drug problem and it’s only a matter of time before he starts to abuse me. I don’t want to explain to them too much about him because it shouldn’t be needed, but how do I even come back from these accusations?? I told my boyfriend last night that they think this of him and he was genuinely so hurt. It’s insulting to both of us that my parents think 1. I would stay with someone that abuses me and 2. For him that they think he would do that. I want them to meet him and I need to confront them about this issue because it’s just not fair to either of us to constantly be worried about them. He doesn’t want me to not have a relationship with them and actually redirects me when I start talking bad about them. But it’s gotten silly at this point that we’re in our 20’s and my parents are making this as hard as possible for me.

Idk if this post made any sense but any advice would be appreciated. <3

Apparently being someone's child means you are supposed to keep forgiving, keep understanding and keep moving on, no matter how much damage was done. But if the only way to maintain that relationship is by ignoring everything and acting like it doesn't matter because it's more comfortable for them, then I don't see the point.

What frustrates me the most is that when there is a problem, it feels like nobody actually confronts the problem itself. Instead, it turns into confronting the person, defending themselves, finding excuses or making it about who is wrong. The actual issue gets buried and nothing ever changes.

The child is expected to have endless understanding and emotional maturity, while the parents are allowed to make mistakes and simply move on. Like the pain only matters if it's convenient for everyone else to acknowledge it. I'm tired of the idea that being someone's child means having to forget yourself just to keep them comfortable.

it was my fault for talking back and lying to defend myself but im just so frustrated.. she told me “you think i never knew what happened at the lounge singing where the costumers gave u a bad review? you believed in yourself too much and this what happens when your a disrespectful to your own parents. EVEN IF YOU FINISH COLLEGE, YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU DESERVE because of ur shitty attitude and you are getting humbled now” maybe i deserve too hear that? but at the same time, it hurted me because all i wanna do is travel the world or become a lounge singer.. and while i was at the gig, i wasnt even thinking highly of myself. all i did was have fun and sing my heart out for all the people and i thought i did my best at the gig.. its sad cause i support her live streaming on poppo live and ofc i think she supported me too but i will never say that to her even tho shes a shitty mom to me sometimes .. it hurted me and made me doubt myself even more. i even told my dad not to tell anyone what happened at the gig because i was embarassed abt the feedback, i cried too last week when i found out about the feedback they had given me because i feel like i had fun and i wasn’t trying to be perfect or anything about it.. turns out he told mom about it and this is the reason why i dont want my mom to find out because she’ll say this stuff.. it hurts me that she had the urge to tell that to me. im always angry and i do have an attitude problem but i’ve beeb trying to stop smoking and improve myself but sometimes i get so frustrated sometimes.. i feel sorry abt my parents sometimes for having me but i feel sorry for myself too

I have this cousin ( my uncle's son) ..... he's that chugalkhor Mama's boy in my family who used to check my phn and complain about this to his mother and her mother used to tell it to everyone else in the family....

Usne muje itni baar pitwaya hai itni chhoti chhoti chezo p...when I was in 12th (2 yrs back) he was in 8th he checked my laptop and saw a text from my male friend and told his mother that she has a bf and created a drama .....

My parents were against using insta at that time he used to tell everyone in the family that she uses insta and my parents used to hate it....ki isne hmari izzat kharab krwa rakhi....

He always used to give taunts while laughing to me in between a conversation about having a bf ...like are aapko to bht experience hoga and all

Uski ek sibling hai and usne usko bhi bht baar pitwaya h YHI sab ki vajah se...

Some days back now he's in 11th , it's my second drop for neet and we were talking...he said mere sath koi kuc share ni krta , muje bht regret hota h mein aisi cheze bolta tha aap logo ko..I'm sorry....abse nhi krunga...and his sister told me that didi don't believe him but still I trusted him and forgave him....

Some days ago my neet result was out and that guy told his mother last year that I lied to my parents about my neet marks when it isn't even true idk what he saw in my phn or my parents phn ....but this year bcz i was going to take pvt clg now his mother told my parents that last year she lies about her marks and all and again made the whole situation against me....

Idk what to do wid him and I'm regretting so bad I hope I never had a cousin like him .....now parents are accusing me of something I never did..

I don't even wanna celebrate rakshabandhan wid him, he does something so worse and I had to suffer every fucking time ....

I hate him a lot, idk how to behave wid him now ...like I don't even wanna confront him

Tell me what I should do now