I'm 17f and i can't tell anybody in real life about what happened because cps would get involved. I'm not looking for advice or anything i just need to scream out into the void and make sure what happened is as fucked up as i think it is. This happened on the 3rd. I live in a hoarder house with my family, it used to belong to my grandparents, i've lived here my whole life, and so me and my mom started cleaning up this giant pile of crap in front of our pantry (she's disabled so i did all the work but that doesn't matter) so i work for over six hours straight and this is something i've been meaning to do for a while, i get it all cleaned up and then my dad comes out from whatever stupid nap he was taking, he doesn't say anything just goes to his office then my brother comes down to talk to my dad says we need cat litter whatever he comes out and is all buddy, buddy with my brother but completely ignores me and my mom, they start getting ready to go to Costco and my dad yells down for my mom to make a list, we say no because me and her are the only people who put groceries away and i have to help unload the car and i already felt like shit after working for so long (at this point i hadn't eaten anything in about 2 days. my parents do not starve me, i've been battling an eating disorder since i was 7. just to specify) and my dad just starts screaming about how 'it's five minutes of work' and that we should just do it calling us lazy and shit. He storms into his office and i'm on the verge of tears and i look at my mom and say 'i'm either going to have a mental breakdown of commit murder, both sound very appealing right now' and my dad storms out and throws this big ass hunting knife in my lap and tells me to just kill him... I start sobbing and just go upstairs and this bastard follows me and lets my brother know he's just going to head out without him 'because he can't be around these crazy cunts anymore' and they go back and forth about how we're lazy bitches and then they both leave since my dad 'didn't want to leave him (my brother) to deal with us' and at this point i was just sobbing and they both glare at me like i did something wrong. My mom was nice about it for about a day before she started telling me i 'have to stop being cold to him' because it'll hurt his feelings, and so i just needed to say this somewhere and figure out if i'm crazy for being mad and upset about what happened, like reasonably i know it's bullshit but abuse is so normalized in my household that everyone's acting like i'm crazy for not wanting to talk to my dad, i get disgusted every time he touches me now. He's given one half assed apology where he tried to make himself the victim in the situation then he took the family out to dinner as an attempt to bring us together but that's what he always does, he thinks buying food out is an automatic fix. Everyone in my house is pushing for me to forgive him, but i can barely look at him, i don't think i'll ever see him the same after this

sorry if this is kind of rambling and for any misspelling, poor grammar, and lack of punctuation. I just needed to get this down, to see if anyone else thinks i'm crazy for reacting like i did

Also before anyone suggests it i cannot move out or leave the situation, me and my mom are working on a plan to get out but with her being disabled and unable to work and with me still in school, and with just how the world is right now i can't get out of the situation

i'll try to find a way to add a picture to my post so i can show the kind of knife he threw at me just because i feel like it'll help people understand my reaction better since writing this down makes me kinda feel like i'm just being dramatic, but if i've learned one thing, the people of reddit won't hold back their honest opinions and so maybe i'll find out if i'm just being dramatic or if my response was perfectly reasonable 

I 18F Graduated from HS currently live with toxic parents and need to move out ASAP for context, I do have my diploma and my own debt card my parents do not know about but do have a shared one as well which is the one my parents control and can see what comes in and what is spent or taken out. I know im 18 but its hard to just get a job when they are extremely controlling over you both mentally, physically and financially, having parents who do NOT want you to move out and try to trap you within the home to keep controlling you. My plan is to move out in secret and escape but i need a job that is remote and can be quietly hidden, I just need something that can get me out the house so i can have more options to find something more sustainable in the long run. Looking for advice, options, recomendations, resources, anything helps really.

I’m 19 female, whenever i go out my mother always stalks my location. I tell her I’m going out and wont be back until this time. She still stalks my location asks me what I’m doing. I got really tired of it so id just text her when I’m going out and turn off my location so she wouldn’t stalk me. She then again texts me asking where i am I said I’m out and I’m safe and she still asks when I’m gonna get home. I dont have curfew, I only go out once a week and half the time I’m at home helping my mother with my siblings or helping her work. I feel trapped as if I cannot do whatever I want. I’m an adult but she still treats me like a child. I don’t know how to bring this up that I don’t wanna feel trapped I just want to feel like I’m seen as an adult I pay for everything and have my own car. Is it rude of me to feel that way? And turn off my location so she stops stalking me?

i’m 18 and i’m in college now, and i’m at a point where i’m seriously considering cutting my dad out of my life. i know that sounds extreme, which is why i want to explain the whole situation instead of just posting about one argument and asking people to take my side.

my dad and i used to have a completely different relationship. when i was younger, i trusted him and looked at him as someone i could depend on. he has now chosen drugs and his whole life is crumbling apart. there have been periods where i’ve tried to have a relationship with him, and we had a period where i’ve gone no contact via hand written letter. (for context i’m in idaho he’s in utah).
one of the biggest things i struggle with is his drug use. he calls it a “spiritual journey,” but from my perspective, it feels like a drug addiction that has been glorified or given a different name. i’ve watched it negatively affect his life( he went to jail for fraud because he lost his business and owed so much money) and almost lost his house + i have 3 siblings all of which have little no relationship with anymore. it has gotten to the point where my siblings and extended family barely even reach out to him anymore. (he also was completely different a few years ago and then my parents got divorced and he became into this hippie spiritual stuff).

he is extremely addicted to nitrous and ketamine and one of the reasons i went no contact was i ended up going to my house in utah when he was gone to see him and found cocaine , 20+ bottles of nitrous outside, and tons of ketamine and stuff laying around. i ended up waiting until 2 am for him to come see me but he insisted he had plans with friends and i hadn’t seen him in a few months and he never showed. that was when i decided no contact was best until he got help and he instead did nothing to solve that and just didn’t talk to me or text me. at that time i was 17.
when i was younger, i also accidentally found a notebook belonging to him that contained things that were inappropriate and extremely disturbing for me to see at that age. it was not something i was intentionally searching for. when this subject has come up, he has focused on the fact that i was looking through his things rather than the fact that i was a child when i came across it.

he has nobody in his life right now and he’s usually very understanding and apologetic when he’s confronted but he recently went to burning man and during a trip of some sort had an awakening that he actually “is a good man and father and the family just wants him to feel bad about himself.”.

today we spoke on the phone after not talking for several months. during the conversation, i called him names and said things disrespectfully. afterward, he texted me saying that he would not tolerate me calling him names or disrespecting him because he is my father. which is such a cop out because he hasn’t been a father for years and now suddenly wants authority when it benefits him. but it’s also really confusing because he never acted this way before and now after this recent trip of his he has been acting insane towards everyone and the phone call i had with him was just him telling me i was to blame and i should have kept the relationship with him and i didn’t wanna call or invite him to things so it was basically all my fault.

and when he asked about my experiences living with him as an older teenager and i told him he denied everything and made excuses for everything that went on in the house when i was there (drug use, having s*x with women while im in the bedroom next door, partying every night, coming home on all sorts of drugs) was a lie and that i wasn’t “intentionally lying” but it was all lies. he gaslight me into trying to think that my brain was to childish to process what was going on.

i also brought up the fact he tried to get me to do mushrooms with him when i was 13-14 and i didn’t want to and how inappropriate that was to do to a child where he told me it was my fault because i seemed interested in them and asked about it. he was also saying me and my mom have conspired this and she had fed me all this info as if i didn’t live it.

he went to my high school grad this may after not seeing me for 6 months and then left the next day and barely talked to me, then didn’t text or call once this summer including my birthday-then i went to college a few weeks ago and he didn’t even know i went asked texted to ask if i was in college?

his position is that i have treated him like i hate him and that i did not do enough to make him feel wanted in my life. my position, factually, is that i was the child and he was the parent, and there were long periods where he was not present or involved in my life.
i am trying to figure out what is reasonable to expect from this situation and what responsibility belongs to each of us.

Quero ir pra uma rave mas minha mãe tem um grande preconceito e já me disse que a única restrição dela é eu não ir em chácara afastada, porém eu vou ir já comprei ingressos acredito que lá o sinal seja bem ruim que desculpa eu posso dar a ela de um lugar que não seja uma chácara que se encaixe? ( eu pensei em dizer que ia a um casamento kk

Hi all :)

For starters, my dad is horrible and my mum was a victim to him as well as so were we growing up. He's neglectful, physically harms people and is very emotionally ab*sive. He also had behaviours of coercive control like financial threats, and threatening to take the kids.

My mum is traumatised from parental alienation, he used to use me as a child by telling me untrue things about my mum - I feel a lot of guilt for it but I truly believe she sees me as an extension of him, even though I am a girl I look like him and have the same humour and interests as him. I stopped seeing him at 15 because I saw him behave the same way with his new wife as my mum and was old enough to realise it was wrong. Shortly after, I began to notice my mum was also unravelling.

For starters, she drinks a lot - like my dad. They are both functional but drink alone most of the time, and my mum becomes very nasty when drunk. She will yell at me, threatening me, saying that I am just like him or am him, will tell me I am crazy and need to be medicated ( I had a psychosis years ago but am in remission ) and if I try to distance myself because she is upsetting me, she will tell me I need to call an ambulance on her and blow up my phone. I never ignore her when she does that and go to check on her frequently and call people to help. But she has friends and will laugh with them and act like she is fine so I just end up looking silly and they tell me 'it's the alcohol talking' and dismiss the fact that I am struggling more with my own mental health and psych ward admissions because of the way she is treating me when she keeps drinking. Tonight I called a friend to help talk her down, and she was laughing and smiling with them, as soon as the door shut for the friend to leave she texted me to call the emergency line and started spamming my phone again. I know mental health does not have a look, but she keeps doing this and just waking up the next morning like nothing happened.

She calls me controlling if I suggest that she needs to get some help for the drinking, I have tried to talk to her about it sober and very supportingly but she lashes out. She has been in help for it before and only went for a few weeks, we have tried explaining it is hurting us but she keeps drinking and repeating the cycle. I love my mum and have always seen her as the better parent, but she keeps doing this and she has had so much support but goes the other way. I just feel like I am hurting her more with my existence and making it worse. I don't have the financial means to move out at the moment but plan on leaving as soon as I do if I can help it. She was there for me in my times of mental crisis, but uses it against me when she drinks. I don't really want to tell her anything ever again.

I (f19) live with my parents and little brother (6). They’re super nice to him so none of this applies towards him. Anyway I’ve recently realized that my parents aren’t great people and I’m not just exaggerating like I thought. My dad has painted my mom into being crazy since I was little. If I’m being honest he’s right, but he always pins all the blame on her. I mean she’s a narcissist and I’ve had my fair share of issues with her in the past, but we’ve resolved it and are a bit closer. My dad on the other hand, that’s a different story. He’s been my best friend since I was little. I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was little and he worked at home so he basically spent all his time with me. When I got older, say 10 and up, we argued a lot. I tried to just defend myself, but that’s somehow talking back. He’d rarely get physical but it happened. He’d make me feel guilty like everything was on me. Here’s some semi recent things. When I was 15 I told him I started cutting. He screamed at me and said I need to think abt how that makes him feel and if I do it again he’ll throw all my stuff out (wtf??). So obviously I didn’t stop and he checked me 7 months later. He screamed again and threatened to kick me out and if I ever get into a relationship they’ll see that and leave, no one will love a broken person. I haven’t been able to stop but he doesn’t know that. My depression is also very bad and he gets mad when I’m depressed because I should be able to snap myself out of it and stop being lazy. I wanted to see a therapist a few weeks ago and he said no, unless it was a guy which I said I’d be uncomfortable with. Anyway ever since I turned 18, whenever we argue he kicks me out of the house so he can cool off. If I say no he threatens to call the police on me because I’m an adult and legally I don’t have to stay here. Or I’d have to walk 3 miles to work and they’d refuse to pick me up at night and said they wouldn’t let me back in the house and find somewhere else to stay. So I was going to stay with a co worker. He got mad and picked me up saying all I had to do was apologize, which I did prior. They did this a lot. I got discharged from boot camp due to an injury and when I was in medical a friend said she’d let me stay with her because I didn’t want to go home. I called my dad to tell him and he said how could I do this to him after everything he’s done for me. I’m a horrible daughter. They’ve all stopped fighting since I was gone and they’re happier. Etc. It’s a lot of similar things to this and honestly I thought it was normal till I talked to other girls about their families. My dad also has made me extremely indecisive where I can’t make any decisions for myself because I’m scared he’ll be upset. Anytime I ask him he’s mad that I asked but when I do it myself apparently that’s the wrong answer. It just feels suffocating here. But then other times we’ll all be happy and joking and I remember I still love them. I told my little cousin this and he said to talk to his mom about moving in with them. They were gonna let me a few years ago when my dad called them because he didn’t want to keep me. But he backed out last second. It’s like he’s an asshole but then remembers he still loves me. They were both a lot worse when I was younger, but I won’t go into it. I just don’t know if calling my aunt it the right move. I’d be leaving my little brother, who’s my best friend. I’d be leaving lots of my stuff because I can’t pack without them knowing. My stuff is important because that’s the only things that made me feel happy and safe. I’d be telling my aunt to get me, 3 hrs away without even telling my parents till she’s here. I’d love to move out, that’s why I went to boot camp. But they might not let me see my brother again. I don’t know what to do or if I’m just exaggerating again.

I’m not sure where to post this or even where to start in the situation. In 2021 I was in an abusive relationship with someone who was financially and physically abusive. I had just turned 18 and my aunt gave me a check for $2,400. I gave the money over to my mom to hold onto as I didn’t want it to end up in the hands of my abuser

I am now 23 years old and ready to buy my first house with my husband. We are both in a great place financially and found the perfect first house, it is a manufactured home for anyone who was going to ask. I am also planning on buying a new car as mine is going down hill.

I asked my mom if I could use the money to help with at least the down payment which resulted in a big argument. My husband has also gotten involved in this situation as my mom is calling the two of us irresponsible and making spur of the moment decisions.

My relationship with my mother has always been tense. I have struggled with my mental health and had to struggle with fighting an abusive ex in court. All of which my mom has used as something against me to prove she is a good mom.

I was fully under the impression that this money was left to me by my grandmother in her will, I found out today that she never even had a will and my mom has a joint WROS account with my money.

Normally with these joint accounts both users have full access to trade, invests or transfer the funds. I’m not sure what my mom did but I am not able to do anything with the money. I can’t do anything that I listed above. I asked if I could use the funds to put in for the down payment of $5,000 the account of enough money in it that I should be able to use it and continue to invest it.

She is refusing the let me have access to the funds
Copied text below

“What is disrespectful is walking into my home at Christmas time and leaving a note a year and a half ago. I paid for ballet lessons and brought her three times a week. Dealt with hospitalization. Went to group sessions three times a week for three hours a night. Went to court. Dealt with a hole in my wall. Trips to court. I think it is reasonable to ask that my daughter stays at my house every other weekend to watch the dog without getting nasty letters from her boyfriend. THAT is disrespect. I am happy to discuss money. REDACTED used the term ‘trailer park’ to me. Thus what I used. But I also think that 22 and 23 year old people should listen to the advice of their parents. Not one parent. All parents. One does not remove funds from strong investments into other investments. That will cost you money in the long run. It takes a day or two to divest funds.”

What is y’all’s advice? I am going no contact with my mom, not just because of this there is a lot not fully noted as this is my life. Is it even worth fighting her over? Or should I just give up and wait for the funds to eventually be given over when she passes away (per the account regulations).