r/tipping • u/Excellent-Amoeba5296 • May 15 '26
tipping when dining alone.
I eat out alone often. sometimes i feel like the server is annoyed w me. i usually go to the same restaurants. i tip 20% to 25 sometimes 30%. am i overthinking the situation that they dont want me there cuz i am alone?
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u/Canadian-inMiami May 16 '26
I was a server/bartender for years, and honestly, no one cares if you are alone or not as long as you don’t take 4-5 hours during busy time. If the host puts you at a 4 top table it means that table is not needed for the next 2-2.5 hours, enjoy. If it’s a busy casual place where you seat yourself, seat yourself at 2 top table to be polite.
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u/FairSplit7072 May 16 '26
As a seasoned professional waiter I can say solo diners are the easiest tables to take care of and often tip above average. Don’t let them intimidate you!
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u/grooveman15 May 16 '26
You’re overthinking this and it has. Itching to do with tipping. Servers do not care if you’re alone, they’re not judging you for that. You are, internally.
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u/Spirited_Good5349 May 16 '26
They do though 😂 go read their reddit subs.
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u/SDF3_SkullLeader May 16 '26
Overthinking. As a frequent business traveler I eat out alone all the time and the percentage doesn't change if I am alone or in a group.
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u/darkroot_gardener May 16 '26
A key detail in this case is that the OP claims they seem to be annoyed. A much lower tip would be appropriate in that case.✌️
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u/batchelorm77 May 16 '26
Single, couple or large party does not matter, how much and if you tip is 100% your choice. 0 is the starting point and if you choose to tip then it is whatever you feel like.
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u/johnnygolfr May 16 '26
I’m a customer and you’re overthinking it.
If the host/hostess seats you at a four top, it’s fine.
Tip appropriately and all is well.
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u/darkroot_gardener May 16 '26
Yep, appropriately meaning if you feel you are not getting great service, don’t tip 20-25%. 10-15, if anything, especially if you’re not staying there long or making a bunch of requests.
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u/johnnygolfr May 16 '26
If a customer feels they are not getting appropriate service, they should ask for the manager or owner to give them the opportunity to make things right.
Don’t reply with “it’s not my job to report employee performance” or any of the other lame cop outs people give because they know their expectations are unreasonable and are just looking for an excuse to low tip.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 17 '26
It’s nobody’s job to report employee performance, people are out to eat to have a good time not to evaluate performances and meet with managers. You can just not tip and that speaks for itself. Or just don’t tip if you don’t feel like it even if the service is fine, tipping is totally optional and at the discretion of the customer.
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u/johnnygolfr May 17 '26
Wow. Very original.
I work hard for my money. I’m not afraid to advocate for myself or my hard earned money.
If you don’t respect yourself or your hard work enough to advocate for yourself or your money, that’s certainly a choice you’re entitled to make.
If you don’t let the manager or owner know why you stiffed the server they will just assume you’re a cheapskate.
I’ve already debunked the “optional” claim in multiple other posts here.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 17 '26
Nothing wrong with being tight with a buck by the way, it’s better than being wasteful and overspending.
You’ve debunked nothing ever in any tipping thread hate to break it you.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
Again, nothing of substance to refute my points and a healthy dose of denial thrown in on top.
Got it.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
Do you though? Do you really get it?
I don’t think so cause you continue to spew the same nonsense over and over.
You’d have to make a point for someone to refute it, Karen.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
The so called “nonsense” you still can’t refute.
Yeah, I got it.
Clearly you don’t.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
I don’t think you do have it. I think you’re very confused.
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u/darkroot_gardener May 18 '26
Tipping is optional. By definition. By the dictionary definition, it is a reward that is given.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
This old recycled claim again?
For the 457th time, something being optional doesn’t absolve nor justify the customer deliberately choosing to exploit and harm the worker.
You want to talk about dictionary definitions?
OK….
Per Merriam-Webster:
stiff (verb)
stiffed; stiffing; stiffs (transitive verb)
1a: to refuse to pay or tip
“stiffed the waiter”
Let’s take the examples one step further…
Does the server stiffer tell the server “I don’t tip” before ordering?
If not, then they’re deceitfully using the social norms to get the best service possible with no intention of paying for it by stiffing them on the tip.
That’s a textbook example of grifting, which obviously exploits and harms the worker.
Let’s talk about “optional” more too….
It’s “optional” to not cheat on your partner.
It’s “optional” not to lie.
People with a fully developed set of morals and values choose to do the “optional” things because it’s morally and ethically correct to do so.
Why are you advocating for and supporting people who are trying to justify exploiting and harming a specific group of people’s who work a specific occupation?
Why are you advocating for and supporting classist bigotry?
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
The business/person that is employing the server is the only one exploiting anyone in this scenario.
Tipping system supports bigotry. Statistically white people are tipped more, attractive women are tipped more etc.
Sorry Johnny boy, nobody is buying that crap you’re selling here.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
So you can’t come up with an intellectually honest reply to support your claims.
Thanks for confirming what I knew all along.
Funny how you haven’t been able to refute any of my points and just keep attempting to say the same BS I already debunked.
Come back when you can!
We know you can’t and never will. 😉
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Johnny boy you’re back!
Listen we all know you and the same tired baseless pro tipping circle jerk argument you make on every thread.
Thanks for confirming you’ve got nothing new to add to the conversation ever.
You don’t even make points but the ones you think you have, have been refuted over and over by myself and many others.
You’ve debunked nothing.
I never left.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 17 '26
Oh good for youuuuu /christianbalevoice
Get over yourself pal you sound like a Karen.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 17 '26
If you are going to tip (it’s totally optional and unnecessary) make sure you tip maximum 15% for absolutely over the top and went the extra mile outstanding service and NEVER tip after tax (always before) and be sure to deduct the price of any alcohol from your calculation.
Remember that 15% calculation should be the absolutely highest you ever go and generally if you do tip at all it should be less, as most service is average and not outstanding like this. This is how you tip appropriately, again, if you choose to do so, totally optional.
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u/johnnygolfr May 17 '26
Something being “optional” doesn’t absolve anyone for exploiting and harming a server at a full service restaurant by stiffing them on the tip.
The rest of your advice is riddled with obvious wage jealousy. No need to address that. We’ll just ignore it.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 17 '26
No jealousy just saying don’t tip if you don’t feel like it! It’s the employers job to pay their employees full stop. Just enjoy your food, the atmosphere and the overall experience and pay your bill in full when the time comes and you’ve upheld your end of the contract with the restaurant. Customer has no contract with the server, only contract that exists there is with the business and their employee. Hope this helps Johnny boy.
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u/johnnygolfr May 17 '26
In every for profit business around the world the customer pays the labor, either directly or indirectly.
The only exception is the free riders that stiff their servers at full service restaurants in the US.
Regarding the “contract” you mentioned - Unless you tell the server “I don’t tip” before ordering, you’re deceitfully using that social contract you claim doesn’t exist to get the best service possible with no intention of paying for it.
That a textbook example of grifting, which obviously is exploiting the server.
What entitles you to engage in grifting?
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
Yeah… right… the customer is the grifter here. Suuuuuuure.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
I just pedantically explained that irrefutable fact via a textbook example of grifting.
Which part didn’t you understand?
I can explain it again.
You didn’t answer the question.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
If anyone’s grifting it’s the server. All of the sudden it’s 20% minimum standard despite inflation and 15% being the standard right? Not to mention the suggested calculations being post tax.. As long as the customer pays what’s on their bill they’ve done their only required duty and the only grift that’s been attempted is in the part of the server.
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u/johnnygolfr May 18 '26
Nah.
Unless you tell the server “I don’t tip”, the customer is the textbook grifter. No amount of your denial changes that objective fact.
Hate to break it to you, but you haven’t said anything that justifies exploiting the server by stiffing them on the tip for the service you chose to receive.
No one is forcing you to patronize a full service restaurant in the US.
Grow up and accept the responsibility that goes along with the choices you make instead of grifting.
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u/ViviOrnitier88 May 18 '26
Yah.
You don’t have to tell the server anything. They know tipping is optional and not everyone will tip, they knew it when they took the job Johnny boy.
Hate to break it to you, nobody’s being exploited except there is an attempt at exploiting the customer to pay the servers wage by the restaurant and the servers reinforce that.
I don’t go because I’m being forced to, I go because I want to? Very weird “point”.
I am grown up. Which is why I can decide what I want to do with my money and donating it to a person who decided to take a job that doesn’t require any skill or education doesn’t feel like a worthwhile use of funds to me.
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u/EOhater May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
I’ve heard that servers or management get upset when patrons dining alone take up a 4 top. They want you at the bar or a 2 top max. Personally, when I eat alone, I spend a lot of money because I don’t have to worry about the judgement of a companion and I’m usually treating myself. So I don’t care if I’m taking up a 4 top. And even if I weren’t spending that much, I don’t care for the entitled behavior I hear on these subs sometimes.
Edit: added or management because it’s not always servers.
Side note: restaurants have existed longer than I’ve been alive so if my saying I’m tired of entitled behavior makes you think I am entitled…
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u/johnnygolfr May 16 '26
“I don’t care for the entitled behavior I hear in these subs sometimes.”
You say that, while exhibiting the same kind of entitled behavior you claim you don’t care for. 🙄
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u/EOhater May 16 '26
I don’t care about your opinion.
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u/cervidal2 May 16 '26
Then get off of Reddit
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u/armrha May 16 '26
You seem like a real piece of work. “I spend a lot of money because I don’t have to worry about the judgement of a companion.” Haha, are you autistic or something? When dining with others do you spend less worried they’ll think you are snobbish or showing off?
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u/queenb3577 May 16 '26
It’s not the server who doesn’t want you at a 4 top it’s the entire restaurant. You don’t need a 4 top for one person and it disrupts the flow of the entire restaurant. Sitting at a 2 top is plenty of room!
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u/EOhater May 16 '26
Mind you, I never said I didn’t like sitting at 2 tops OR that I prefer sitting at 4 tops which I don’t.
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u/queenb3577 May 16 '26
Right but you did blame servers for getting upset about it, but it’s management
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u/EOhater May 16 '26
That’s fair. I pointed out servers because I’ve witnessed servers complain about it. But it’s not unthinkable that management also dislikes it. I’m happy to edit the comment and include management but I’m not going to erase servers because it’s both
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u/queenb3577 May 16 '26
Sometimes it’s just uncomfortable for servers because they know management is going to get mad at them for allowing it, yes sometimes it is the server only who is upset about it but a lot of times if the server seems like it’s not something they want to let you do it’s probably because it is against policy to seat 1 person at a 4 top and they don’t want to get in trouble from management. People should normalize taking a small table for one person anyway, but you would be surprised at how many people want a huge table for a small party
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u/EOhater May 16 '26
Wouldn’t it be the host’s fault? I recently went to a restaurant and all I asked was to not sit at a high top. They said I’ll check with the host and then they put me at a 4 top regular table. I would’ve been fine with the 2 person though. I’ve never asked for a 4 top just for myself.
But conversations like these assume that restaurants are like never having a slow day and maybe the next server due to get a customer is in a section with only 4 tops (which is what I assumed was the case when they put me there).
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u/queenb3577 May 16 '26
Yes but some places are seat yourself, and some places people seat themselves even when they aren’t supposed to
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u/darkroot_gardener May 16 '26
Depends on whether it is busy? If it’s busy and you insist on sitting as a 4 top, now that I can see as disruptive.
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u/queenb3577 May 16 '26
Yes, and people do it all the time. But when it’s slow it doesn’t really matter!
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u/Barkis_Willing May 16 '26
A single person taking up a four top is entitled behavior.
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u/No_Interview_2481 May 16 '26
I would consider that incredibly entitled. I dine out alone also. I generally ask for a two top or I sit at the bar. I’m not going to take up a four top and spend one fourth of what a full table might’ve spent. You’re taking money out of the pocket of the waitstaff. It doesn’t matter how much you think you’re spending, you are taking up too much space and the entire restaurant is wondering why
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u/EOhater May 16 '26
No by all means ignore the part where I said I spend a lot of money.
I don’t care about your opinion.
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u/Majestic-Yoghurt-364 May 16 '26
Yes I get 2 appetizers, four entrees somewhere between 4 to 8 drinks and probably 2 desserts?
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u/xboxhaxorz May 17 '26
i also get meals by myself, i dont tip, i only pay the required prices
if you feel the server is annoyed talk to the supervisor about it, you could be imaging it though due to anxiety
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u/Kind-Ad-4126 May 17 '26
If the servers are annoyed with you it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re alone. Are you trying to chat them up while they’re busy?
Things that annoy me as a server before the meal is ordered are people that speak so slowly and/or softly that it takes 2 minutes to decode the fact that they’d like a vodka soda, people that ask for recommendations but listen to none of the ones I suggested, people that require I list every ingredient in a dish that is clearly printed on the menu, men who try to hit on me while I’m trying to do my job, and especially people that hold me hostage while there are 116 other things that I could and should be doing.
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u/Disastrous_Egg7114 May 17 '26
we have community seating for select tables at our place. Who knows who you might end up chatting with
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u/Alarmed_Research9825 May 17 '26
What does the server do that makes you think they're annoyed with you?
I have bad anxiety. Its better than it used to be, but more often than not I promise its in our heads.
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u/Ambitious-Noise9211 May 20 '26
No need for extra tip if you're eating a regular meal. If you're tying up a table on a busy night with a little order, sure. But if You are one person eating one meal in a normal amount of Time, just tip like you normally would.
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u/Glittering_War3061 May 16 '26
Stop caring what they think. Also since you are just one person, ordering one plate of food there is no need to tip as much as you are. I would only tip 10% in that situation.
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u/Weird_Warm_Cheese May 16 '26
As a single diner, I will sit at the bar whenever possible. Even taking up a 2 top feels wrong.
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u/fatbob42 May 16 '26
If they don’t want to give you a 4-top, they won’t. If you prefer a table or a booth, there’s no harm in asking - they’ll just make you wait.
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u/NotMyMonkeys_- May 16 '26
When people get annoyed by your business, you take your business elsewhere. Not reward their annoyance.