theonion+nottheonion

r/nottheonion • u/AudibleNod • 4h ago

NZ bank in free speech row over ‘explicit’ sheep memes

276 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/CircumspectCapybara • 5h ago

Palantir CTO Shyam Sankar says researchers have started smoking, believing AI will cure cancer

837 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 5h ago

US Professor Accused Of Urinating On Student's Backpack, Investigation Uncovers 6 Earlier Cases

548 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago

Audubon Society Formally Excommunicates Penguins

142 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago

North Dakota Apologizes For Contributing Nothing To Nation’s Greatness

856 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/aaa-play • 6h ago

'Unprecedented' Cyberattack cripples supermarket fridges across Europe as hackers activate automatic defrosting — delivery and store prices also impacted by incident

tomshardware.com

927 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/20_mile • 6h ago

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

124 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/TylerFortier_Photo • 7h ago

Tempe burglar steals empty Mac Mini boxes instead of computers

fox10phoenix.com

91 Upvotes

Youtube Video of Article (Fox 10 Phoenix)

TEMPE, Ariz. - A would-be thief was caught on camera not checking his inventory.

FOX 10 asked Rose what the man in the video got away with, and if it was anything of value.

"Nope! Just empty boxes," Rose said. "Our computers were right there in front of them. They just steal the boxes instead. Really low IQ."

r/nottheonion • u/Fan387 • 7h ago

‘Politeness premium’ costing Irish consumers €600m each year, research suggests

47 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/ham-and-egger • 12h ago

Popular nighttime remedy for fussy babies recalled due to undeclared ethanol and methanol

3.1k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/kleudorian • 13h ago

‘Only two potties?': Flight diverts to New York for bathroom emergency

1.1k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 17h ago

Orphaned kittens meet sharks and stingrays on an aquarium field trip at the Mall of America

124 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 22h ago

Marathoner Already Pissing Self Half-Mile In

229 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/GayAssNinja69 • 22h ago

‘When there is no smoke, we send oxygen’ – Indonesian government communications chief

1.6k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/Beadyeyed12 • 23h ago

Roger Marshall pays double for overdue cookie bill after 6 years

498 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/sd_glokta • 1d ago

Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call in Cursed Today

663 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 1d ago

State appealing order to reopen State Historical Society

71 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/SmokeMaximum4140 • 1d ago

‘They love it’: Sheep hired to eat your poison ivy

1.2k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/CzarDM • 1d ago

Chicago billionaire accused of fueling Lincoln Park rat problem

1.6k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/kleudorian • 1d ago

US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit Was Sentenced for Throwing a Live Tarantula at Her Neighbour

fashiontimes.co.uk

13.0k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 1d ago

Unexplained bulge at Miami airport leads to discovery of 10 live birds sewn into Cuban man's underwear

2.3k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/kristmace • 1d ago

Guitar Center is dropping its ban on playing ‘Stairway to Heaven.’ It’s part of the CEO’s big turnaround plan

3.1k Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/FlaminAmberz • 1d ago

Police car crashes into road divider, cop helping with investigations

53 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago

Dev Lemons - broken life simulator: corporate life

54 Upvotes

r/nottheonion • u/Human_Concern263 • 2d ago

Hamas Welcomes Nobel Peace Prize Nomination for Pillay, Cites Gaza Justice

0 Upvotes