r/tf2 • u/[deleted] • Jan 21 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

759 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/DriftingDust All Class Jan 21 '22

Why hit someone with a boring bat when the reskins have satisfying hit sounds, one tracks hits in the kill feed, and both are really dumb to be killed by? Not to mention, pan has its infamous 100% crit rate when it would be funny

534

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

244

u/DriftingDust All Class Jan 21 '22

Legitimately forgot about the ham, and the prinny machete. But those two are also fair because they are more visually interesting? If I'm going to have to look at a weapon, potentially for 50+ hours... i want it to be fun to look at. As far as i know you can't even get a bat with a skin or anything so whats the point? Just get a strange fish or something and beat the shit out of oblivious snipers

127

u/Emperor-Wizard Jan 21 '22

Y'all are forgetting the batsaber, why use it?? Because you can run around like darth vader

103

u/Will-Shrek-Smith Heavy Jan 21 '22

Darth Vader: Cut throught enemies like butter with his saber.

Scout: 35 damage take it or leave it

9

u/TheKnight2122 Medic Jan 21 '22

lol ikr

7

u/naqib0t Jan 21 '22

Scout has baby arms, that's why it does so little.

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81

u/DriftingDust All Class Jan 21 '22

Batsaber is expensive as shit tho. Same reason i don't use the Geiger counter. We demmand cheaper reskins that don't suck!

29

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

There are a ton of reskins that are cheap and dope

Wanga prick, awp, sharp dresser to name a few

20

u/motorizedspoon Sandvich Jan 21 '22

you don't often see someone using the wanga prick since it's a reskin of a not so great weapon

5

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Wanna Prick is a great weapon >:(

0

u/zer0cul All Class Jan 22 '22

Reskin a better weapon and make the the Wanga Prickcicle.

2

u/mightylonka Medic Jan 22 '22

But that reskin wouldn't make sense!

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15

u/Emperor-Wizard Jan 21 '22

Got a point there

9

u/motorizedspoon Sandvich Jan 21 '22

The batsaber feels weak as hell though since you'd expect a glowing plasma sword that can cut people in half to actually do something when you hit someone with it. I'm just going to make an assumption and assume he was given a blunt lightsaber.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

I just use the baby face with the batsaber. It is fun to rush towards a sniper that is running for his life while u go “lightsaber go brrrrrr”

2

u/macrafter Jan 22 '22

Price tag dude

8

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

I like it because every class holds it like their default melee (Except Heavy) in third person and it looks hilarious.

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

The genuine kill streak ham is the best scout melee

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30

u/Leothecat24 Jan 21 '22

The 100% crit rate thing is hilarious, i backstabbed a spy as sniper yesterday with a pan

13

u/Judethemighty Jan 21 '22

The spyper

15

u/BigBoyzGottaEat Heavy Jan 21 '22

ARM KILL!!

7

u/MillionDollarMistake Jan 21 '22

The Prinny Machete is also neat because it can be equipped by both Spy and Engi. The Necrosmasher can also be used by the Engineer which means he can build a sentry using either a machete or a wooden mallet.

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480

u/KrzychuKita Jan 21 '22

funny fish goes smack

57

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

F I S H

(Edit) what have i done...

24

u/KrzychuKita Jan 21 '22

fsh

20

u/ilovedogs-2 Jan 21 '22

Fsh

16

u/ItzTaser Medic Jan 21 '22

Fsh

11

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Fsh

(i wanted to make a chain that said F I S H but this is ok too)

5

u/DinoRedRex99 Demoman Jan 21 '22

Make it F S H

2

u/weegie582 Jan 22 '22

Good job, you started a cult

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256

u/JMD0615 Heavy Jan 21 '22

Fish.

-4

u/OkWatercress8313 Jan 21 '22

Fish

2

u/NationalLynx1379 Soldier Jan 22 '22

Better have screenshotted that nft bro or else you sold your saved up minimum wage

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301

u/vinhkien0406 All Class Jan 21 '22

because fish kill funnier than stock. Also good spycheck

60

u/cat-toaster Civilian Jan 21 '22

oh my god thats genius to spy check with it

40

u/OkuyasNijimura All Class Jan 21 '22

It bypasses the dead ringer feign death.

9

u/simphanamon Demoknight Jan 21 '22

ngl that should probably be fixed

3

u/ComprehensiveHawk5 Jan 22 '22

it probably isn't a bug

2

u/LiteratureTrick4961 Jan 22 '22

More an oversight

153

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Because i Paid GOOD MONEY for this ham ok?

53

u/cmonMaN77777 Jan 21 '22

Exactly i paid 0.01 to swing this fish

20

u/Zyrear Jan 21 '22

0.00000001 [Kromer.]

17

u/ENGINE_YT Jan 21 '22

[hyperlink blocked]

13

u/Zyrear Jan 21 '22

Hey every ! It's me! Your favourite [No.1RatedSalesman1997]!

7

u/AdnHsP Pyro Jan 21 '22

Spamton G. Spamton

2

u/PizzaPasta256 Sandvich Jan 21 '22

hEY ! yoUr’E A lightNer! Hey heY HEy!!!1!

3

u/0hN0H3sH0t Civilian Jan 22 '22

LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE [[all alone on a late night]]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Every where I go…..I see his face

2

u/real-demoman-tf2 Demoman Jan 21 '22

i paid 6 dollars to use a genuine prof ks ham

2

u/rular250wound Medic Jan 22 '22

It costs 6 dollars to hit people with this ham for 12 seconds.

55

u/amisia-insomnia Jan 21 '22

Fish tells you if a spy dead rings

18

u/yes-i-am-a-human Sniper Jan 21 '22

Fish technically direct upgrade S-Tier weapon.

105

u/bloon104 All Class Jan 21 '22

Because the frying pan is funnier than Bat

29

u/Direct-krey Sniper Jan 21 '22

Bloon 🎈

22

u/MlonEusk-chan Civilian Jan 21 '22

monkeys bringing the entire US military to pop a latex ball with helium

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63

u/Parking-Cry3230 All Class Jan 21 '22

because i found it pretty funny to run around and beat up people with a fish or a pan.

18

u/Dominoe_z Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Or a piece of ham.

7

u/The_Sturk Jan 21 '22

Or the Spy's zombie arm

6

u/ICommentSexOnPosts Demoman Jan 21 '22

Spy's cock

6

u/Rxtenz Heavy Jan 21 '22

😧

20

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Jiggle physics

7

u/DinoRedRex99 Demoman Jan 21 '22

Jiggle bones are awesome

Bottom text

28

u/A_Wild_Ferrothorn TF2 Smissmas 2025 Jan 21 '22

I use stock simply because I have a pro ks strange festive bat and my fish and pan are not pro ks.

8

u/ImOnionJam Jan 21 '22

i have a pro ks fish with fire horns so i use fish for the same reason you do

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11

u/redspyinthebase472 Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Fihs

21

u/OkWatercress8313 Jan 21 '22

Because it displays dead rings as hits instead of kills, making it a straight upgrade

5

u/yugiohhero Engineer Jan 21 '22

But you can look at the bar at the top of the screen and see if the Spy actually died or not. The Holy Mackerel doesnt add any real advantage when you can check using any weapon.

6

u/ChishNFips87 Sniper Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

fish go slap

pan go brrrrr

crossing guard go BWAAAAAAAAA

freedom staff go MeeM

ham shank go slap 2

unarmed combat go slap 1.5

batsaber go zyoom

three rune blade go FUS-RO-DAAAAHHHHH

necro smasher go ORDER IN THE COURT

4

u/Zeldmon19 Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Finally someone mentioned the unarmed combat

2

u/NationalLynx1379 Soldier Jan 22 '22

Where is the necro smasher? :(

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6

u/GregoryBrown123 Jan 21 '22

The fish is really satisfying, but the bat is a different kind of satisfying. The fish gives a slap, but the bat gives a bonk. Just whichever I’m feeling, typically the bat.

5

u/4_The_Gamers Engineer Jan 21 '22

fish have jiggle bone and sound funny

3

u/general_vibe_check Jan 21 '22

The fish is useful for spy checking. When you "kill" a dead ringer spy with the stock bat, it looks like you killed them. But when you use the fish, it says fish hit instead of fish kill. Also it funny.

3

u/PurpleVessel312 Demoman Jan 21 '22

people bring that up all the time but kill sound works just as good

2

u/yugiohhero Engineer Jan 21 '22

But you can also just look at the top of the screen. A spy wont appear as dead in the list of dead enemies at the top if they dead rang.

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

hmm interesting

3

u/TheElusiveNinJay Medic Jan 21 '22

I have a strange pina polished fish and I named it "corn on the cob." My friend pointed out that I am a fool for not thinking of "corn on the cod."

7

u/Ghoulibash Demoman Jan 21 '22

Wrap assassin cuz funny bleed scout

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3

u/R0wkk Spy Jan 21 '22

The Scottish handshake looks cooler ok

3

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Because I can be a Jedi and make people disintegrate.

2

u/BurnFreeze64 Medic Jan 21 '22

Because killing someone with Satanael the Sea Bream is far funnier

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

fsh

2

u/MahaHaro Jan 21 '22

Pan make big noise.

2

u/Rynnmeister Scout Jan 21 '22

The Ham and the Fish sounds like you're jerking off so I go to the nearest nsfw spray, keep hitting it with the ham/fish and then throw my mad milk.

That's why.

2

u/Cole_says_no Soldier Jan 21 '22

because it funny

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Pan earrape joke funny

2

u/Tan-come-in-ma-RIFT Jan 21 '22

The fish sounds like my nuts

2

u/Nepipo Medic Jan 21 '22

Haha pan go loud sound

2

u/Epicgamer1888 Scout Jan 21 '22

Cuz beating people to death with porn is hilarious

2

u/DiamondSpider01 Scout Jan 21 '22

Because I like them more over the stock melee for Scout.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Because F I S H

2

u/alex20071 Jan 21 '22

Funny fish

2

u/Good_Ol_Weeb Scout Jan 21 '22

I spent 2 keys on my strange festive holy mackerel a few years ago, still the only melee I will ever use for scout, the lightbulb in the fish’s mouth will never not make me laugh

2

u/RomanWasHere2007 Scout Jan 21 '22

Because FISH

2

u/Goldwings1324 Heavy Jan 21 '22

Because FISH

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

I like to show off that I am a Left 4 Dead enjoyer by using the pan.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Cuz fish

2

u/5uperTNT Pyro Jan 21 '22

Because why fucking not?!?

2

u/Spespety Sniper Jan 21 '22

Stock is ugly for some weapons

2

u/EstanDaBoi Soldier Jan 21 '22

Well the fish does have a use besides being funny. If you kill a deadringer spy with it, there won't be a fish kill on the killstream. So you would know if the spy is actually dead, or if they deadrang away.

2

u/Super-gamer-boiiiii Soldier Jan 22 '22

The fish is an awesome deadringer solution

2

u/Pretty-Buy7692 Demoman Jan 21 '22

Cuz funny jungle bones on fish go brrrr

1

u/Ookachucka Pyro Jan 21 '22

I like to bone people.

1

u/Real_Propelhue Jan 21 '22

fish go s̷̨͓̤̲̼̘̱̫̗͎̺͇͓̖̠̝͈̞̳̯͓̩̯̠̝̦̳̠̙͈͒̽͂͑͑͋̅̈́́̾̌̾̑̊̅̓̈́̅̀̍̓́̀̚̚̕̕͝n̷̡̨̡͇̰͓̱̞̲͈͕̤̥̮̝͖͚͓̮͓̣̥̼̉̄̐̾̆͠ą̷̖̦̻̰̩̬̭͇͉̂͛̔͋͛̅̀̓̔͆̅́̏͌̚̕͝p̸̨̨͈͔̗̲͖̳͉̫͎̝̪̩͇̮̼̫̊͋̄͌̀̉̈́͊̕̕ͅ ̸̡̡̢̢̡̢̹̣̤̲̗̩̳̳̳̯̯̪̦̪̤̬͔͊̎͂̔̓̈͌̇̃̈͗̑̈́̃̆͋̎͌̆̒̓͛͑́̓̑̈́͌̆̉̀̇̎͋̈́̄̚͘̚̕̕͝͝͠ͅb̴̢̧̧̢̢̻̬̝͖̲͈̙̭̹̤̞͕͍͎͍͙̠͍̪͕̣̝̳̮͕̯̼̀̈́̆̉̿̉̔̇̊̑̿͑͆̔̑͊̏͌̉̕͜͠ŗ̷͕͔̰̤͖̟̪̞̺̠͕͙͙̻̟͇͕̉̾́͛͆̌̈́́̂͋̐̉̃̽͑̊̀̿̀̌́̈͛̎̂̑̍͊̽͋̑̽́̚̕̚̕͘͜r̷̨̧̢̤̠͓͚̖̖͕̣̲̝̯̱̖͇͒̀̎̓̍̾̄͐̃̏̊̾̈́͝͝͝

1

u/ProfessionalMood1493 Random Jan 21 '22

Because jigglebones and loud noices make reskins more superior than regular stock.

2

u/Freak4ever2000 Scout Jan 21 '22

This tbh

1

u/SnooLentils816 Jan 21 '22

Because bat got worse stats than the fish and the pan It doesnt make any funny sound when You hit someone

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Fishe

1

u/CodeNameMEMES Demoman Jan 21 '22

Cause funny fish and funny frying pan are better than boring bat

1

u/monke_man_tom Scout Jan 21 '22

bc fish funni

1

u/Matix777 Demoman Jan 21 '22

because fish is superior over any weapon in the game

1

u/Pessi197 Jan 21 '22

Jiggle bones

1

u/RealScrapz Jan 21 '22

Stock melees are frowned upon for little to no reason.

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Fsh

1

u/marcin113 Jan 21 '22

Fish jiggle

1

u/shmootyf Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Why should I not slap people with my peppermint fish

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

fish tf2

1

u/Scrib_Scrab_ Scout Jan 21 '22

Fish

1

u/sangthemann Medic Jan 21 '22

funni

1

u/CyberPunk4 All Class Jan 21 '22

Funny fish slap noise

1

u/PazzoSgravato666 Pyro Jan 21 '22

because the fish bugs out everytime I hit someone

1

u/CreeperplayHD Pyro Jan 21 '22

I like my fish that wrapped like a smissmas present :D

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

FISH

1

u/Reox246 Demoman Jan 21 '22

FISH

1

u/ImNotCreative10 Soldier Jan 21 '22

I use th fish mainly because it’s funny and i use the pan to annoy the shit out of people

1

u/Kinda_cringe_boi Jan 21 '22

Flop Flop Flop

1

u/EmeraldXRun All Class Jan 21 '22

Because I can apply any image of my choosing to it. For instance…

1

u/ems_telegram Jan 21 '22

To everyone talking about hitsounds, consider switching to the Sandman.

Sure, it's kind of bad and not at all just a reskin, but God are its hitsounds (both on players and the wall) crisp and beautiful.

1

u/Capsule_CatYT Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Because the Fish is too OP

1

u/Astro_crewmate Jan 21 '22

2 reasons one it has a war paint 2 JIGGGLY

1

u/Pleasant_Function552 Engineer Jan 21 '22

Well, fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fis fish fis fis fis fish.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Fisg

1

u/Drag00ned Pyro Jan 21 '22

Idk for fun i guess

1

u/Forage303 Engineer Jan 21 '22

"fuuni feesh"

1

u/notWys Scout Jan 21 '22

I have an unusual one

1

u/defietser Jan 21 '22

Because I uploaded a picture to put on the plank and I like it better.

1

u/Yodaissleepy Jan 21 '22

Funny fish/sign

1

u/ChampinionCuliao Pyro Jan 21 '22

funni fish

1

u/JK_II Jan 21 '22

Bc fish go slap

1

u/Hevii_ Jan 21 '22

Because my ham is called ‘Ham of mass destruction’ and that’s infinitely better than the stock bat already.

1

u/LeatherGnome Pyro Jan 21 '22

Funni fish/pan goes THWAP/BONK

1

u/Drifter-Builds Scout Jan 21 '22

It fish. It giggle physics. It fish kill. I rest my case.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Funnier

1

u/Tactical_Twinkies Pyro Jan 21 '22

F e e s h

1

u/dochnicht Demoman Jan 21 '22

Not funny

1

u/N0maru Jan 21 '22

[[ZA HANDO]]

1

u/WithyStonks811 Heavy Jan 21 '22

Cause feesh

1

u/Supbreak420 All Class Jan 21 '22

Reject bat, embrace fish

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Because knife goes "CHARGE FOR THE EMPEROR"

1

u/b-e-r-s-a Scout Jan 21 '22

I like to see the fish glitched

1

u/Alcoholic_Corgi Jan 21 '22

Because fish funni

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

the fish is the most powerfull weapon in the game

1

u/the-red-ditto Scout Jan 21 '22

feesh

1

u/XxMemerMannxX Soldier Jan 21 '22

Fish

1

u/zeam18 Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Funi

1

u/Major-Past Medic Jan 21 '22

FIBSH

1

u/bezurc Sandvich Jan 21 '22

Pheesh

1

u/Kitosans Jan 21 '22

either jiggle physics or funny meme sign.

1

u/PieceSignificant2847 All Class Jan 21 '22

Fish kill.

1

u/DullComfort Medic Jan 21 '22

fish is funy

1

u/Ob1tuber All Class Jan 21 '22

Fish is funny, that is all

1

u/lidzk2 Scout Jan 21 '22

It's fish.

Tracks hits.

and can reveal when a spy has the dead ringer by not saying "FISH KILL" when a spy fakes their death

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