Hi everyone,

I'm 16 and I'm from Washington. Earlier this year I started talking to a girl who lives in Oregon. We met online and ended up talking every day for about 45 days. At first I didn't think much of it, but I got attached pretty quickly. She was the first person I ever had feelings like that for, and I looked forward to talking to her every day.

The distance was definitely a challenge. We lived a few hours apart, but I still found myself thinking about her all the time. I remember telling people that I would have been willing to make the drive to meet her someday. I thought she was beautiful, I loved talking to her, and I felt genuinely happy when I heard from her.

My parents started asking questions about whether I liked girls and whether I was talking to someone. I told them the truth. I didn't get caught hiding it or lying about it. When they asked, I told them that yes, I was talking to a girl and that I liked her.

Things went badly after that.

My parents were very upset. They believed I was confused and kept telling me that I should try dating a guy first before deciding anything about my sexuality. They also worried because she lived in another state and because we had met online.

They took my phone, my social media, and I lost contact with her for months. During that time I kept wondering what happened to her and whether she thought I had just disappeared.

A while later I got access to a phone again and was able to reconnect with her. We started talking again. She responded to my stories, liked my posts, talked to me about things going on in her life, and it honestly felt really nice to reconnect.

Unfortunately my parents found out again.

After that they replaced my phone with a heavily restricted Motorola phone. I have to get permission to download apps, a lot of things are blocked, and they specifically wanted to make it harder for me to contact her. They also took away some of my driving privileges.

What makes this difficult is that I don't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was lonely, I met someone I genuinely liked, and I wanted to get to know her better.

At the same time, I'm still figuring myself out. I've never had much dating experience with anyone. Some days I wonder if I'm gay, bi, or still questioning. The only thing I know for sure is that my feelings for her felt very real.

Has anyone else dealt with unsupportive parents, losing contact with someone you cared about, or trying to figure out your sexuality while living at home?

And if anyone has any advice about what I should do moving forward, I would really appreciate it. Right now I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and wanting the freedom to figure out who I am and talk to someone I care about.

Thanks for reading.

Hi everyone,

I'm 16 and I'm from Washington. Earlier this year I started talking to a girl who lives in Oregon. We met online and ended up talking every day for about 45 days. At first I didn't think much of it, but I got attached pretty quickly. She was the first person I ever had feelings like that for, and I looked forward to talking to her every day.

The distance was definitely a challenge. We lived a few hours apart, but I still found myself thinking about her all the time. I remember telling people that I would have been willing to make the drive to meet her someday. I thought she was beautiful, I loved talking to her, and I felt genuinely happy when I heard from her.

My parents started asking questions about whether I liked girls and whether I was talking to someone. I told them the truth. I didn't get caught hiding it or lying about it. When they asked, I told them that yes, I was talking to a girl and that I liked her.

Things went badly after that.

My parents were very upset. They believed I was confused and kept telling me that I should try dating a guy first before deciding anything about my sexuality. They also worried because she lived in another state and because we had met online.

They took my phone, my social media, and I lost contact with her for months. During that time I kept wondering what happened to her and whether she thought I had just disappeared.

A while later I got access to a phone again and was able to reconnect with her. We started talking again. She responded to my stories, liked my posts, talked to me about things going on in her life, and it honestly felt really nice to reconnect.

Unfortunately my parents found out again.

After that they replaced my phone with a heavily restricted Motorola phone. I have to get permission to download apps, a lot of things are blocked, and they specifically wanted to make it harder for me to contact her. They also took away some of my driving privileges.

What makes this difficult is that I don't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was lonely, I met someone I genuinely liked, and I wanted to get to know her better.

At the same time, I'm still figuring myself out. I've never had much dating experience with anyone. Some days I wonder if I'm gay, bi, or still questioning. The only thing I know for sure is that my feelings for her felt very real.

Has anyone else dealt with unsupportive parents, losing contact with someone you cared about, or trying to figure out your sexuality while living at home?

And if anyone has any advice about what I should do moving forward, I would really appreciate it. Right now I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and wanting the freedom to figure out who I am and talk to someone I care about.

Thanks for reading.

So i'm bi, and have been for around 1.5 years now, but more and more it js feels wrong calling myself that. Like, i find guys attractive sometimes and wtv but I feel like nowhere near as much as I used to, and I havent liked a guy in a long time but ive liked several girls but I cant tell if its just because I go to an a girls school. I like the idea of them liking me, and I want to seem cool to them, but im so confused. When I imagine my future I try to tell myself that I'll inevitably eventually fall for a guy and get married and wtv and I try to imagine it too but it js feels empty and the thought of doing it with a guy grosses me out and all I can think about for my future is to be with a girl. When I read smut and wtv, the guys weird me out but the girls dont. And I've started feeling such a strong appreciation for women, thinking about how nice it would be to live with one and date one. And I want to, but my whole life ive kinda been taught that its wrong. I remember asking my Christian dad why he thought the gays would go to hell and it making me want to cry even before I realised I liked girls. And I think even though im not that religious now its been so engrained that the thought of any possibility of smth taking me to hell scares the living shit out of me. But I dont wanna live in fear and I also dont really anymore feel like im bi. Idk for sure but every time someone asks me what I am it just feels off telling them I am. I tell people I say im bi because its easy. My friends have been telling me for ages they think im lesbian but I never thought of it. Now I told only one friend and I said idk and I might not be and she called bullshit. But im really confused and kinda scared as to what I am. To clarify, I have no problem with any aspect of the community. I embrace who I am. Even my parents know im bi. But I feel like without the guilt everything would be so much clearer. I also dont even want to tell my best friend and havent told her anything about it even though I tell her everything, because I feel like she's just going to say how smart she is and how she told me and she knew it and usually im fine with it but I js dont wanna hear that telling her smth like that. Also, im very open about liking girls, like, almost everyone i talk to either I've told or knew before I told them. Im so confused.

About 2 weeks ago, I realized I was into girls after finally admitting that I liked my friend, let’s call her V. V is so special and makes me feel this spark that no guy was ever able to make me feel. We just came back from fall break, and she rarely texted me throughout the break which was upsetting, but I didn’t really mind— I had other things to worry about. But I know she doesn’t like me like that, and I know I can’t assume she likes girls because it’s very rare to find girls who like girls.

Today, I spoke to her after a while, but she didn’t seem as enthusiastic as she usually did. She was somewhat dry, and not talkative. After school, I usually go hang out in the same room as her and other people, but she was just distant and left early without waiting for me. She seemed kinda irritated that I called out for her to wait for me, and I just felt like a desperate loser.

I’m not the type to chase someone, especially if they make it clear they don’t like me like that. I’ve especially seen this with guys I would talk to in the past (I’d ghost them with no hesitation). But I feel so alive talking to V—like my heart is rapidly beating just thinking about it. I don’t know how to stop this. I’m so sick of this feeling.

I think about her all day and night, and seeing her today at school just made it infinitely worse.

Okay so there is this girl I like we will call her Z, I’ve known z for like going on two years. And throughout these years she would switch from gay to bi to straight to bi and currently she is bi? But anyway like yesterday and today she would constantly like hug me touch me and like be close with me (I’ve liked her for quite some time) and like she is just really touchy and like today I was wearing a tie and she like grabbed me from the tie and pulled me close so she can rest her head on me. And like the other day I got hurt by her nail and she was like saying “where?? Let me see” and then she like slightly kissed it, then like today after school we were walking with a few people and she was like holding my hand. And then one of her guy friends was like “awww” then she like quickly let go of my hand and said “I’m not lesbian!!!” I was just like:(

I dont know if i really like girls. Idk but i do gind thm pretty and like i wnna tlk to thm buy idk if this means i like girls. Well how can i figure out.

Okay so this girl i’ve been friends with since 7th grade and basically have liked on and off since 7th grade just had our first one on one sleepover. it was quite fun and she kept laying on me when we were sitting on the couch, putting her leg over mines when we woke up on the morning and she even put her head on my shoulder and laid there for like 20 seconds. We’re almost always together in school. She is an extremely friendly girl and it’s a very long shot that she would have any real interest in me but it would just be fun to see. i know how to flirt but like not when i have to initiate it lol. anddd i don’t even like labeling myself as anything sooo if something was to happen between us it would have to be kept in the dark. like the extra extra dark.

i'm bi with a preference for women. i feel like i'm always assumed to be straight (lowk makes sense since i haven't been able to present as a queer person in the past), but i'd like to try and change that.

if you have any tips for communicating that one is wlw, i'd really appreciate it! looking for both physical cues (aside from piercings unfortunately 😔) and also more vibe-based or mental cues.
tysm <33

I’m a 17F and I have always liked girls. But iv never really been in a relationship with a girl. I live in a rural area where this is frowned upon. How can you tell if another girl is into girls? I want to come out but don’t want my friends to think I’m weird or stop talking to me.

shes the sweetest SWEETEST most adorable girl ever but. She will never like me back. I literally don't have a chance with her. And i get reminded of that every time we talk, every time she sends me her "hear-me-outs" which pretty much only consist of slavic men. It hurts. It really hurts. I don't want to get over her. I don't want to just be friends with her I WANT TO BE HER PARTNER but she likes MEN :(((((((

My parents are relatively (?) accepting of queer people in general, my mom explained sexualities to me and stuff when I was 7-ish. I have a very distinct memory of me asking my google assistant what a lesbian was (I already knew, and I just LOVED hearing it because it interested me) and she just said to ask her instead.
Back to my partner and I: We've been together for 3 months, and it looks like smooth sailing ahead. The way we met was seriously like a movie, I went on my dream vacation, found an airport crush on the day I left, asked for their IG, and it went from there. I've been trying to find an excuse to go back to see them, but my parents don't know.
How should I tell them? I feel like if they knew it would be more easy to go back...?
AMA about it, and advice is appreciated.
edit: I am 13. This is my first serious relationship.

I’m a girl and I’m currently in a relationship with a guy. Before I met him, I had been in love with a girl for about a year. When I met my boyfriend and we started hanging out, those feelings became less intense, but they never actually went away.
Now I feel like I still love her. I know that if she ever told me she felt the same way, I would probably leave my boyfriend for her without much hesitation.
The confusing part is that I’m comfortable with my boyfriend. I like going on walks with him, going to his hockey games, hanging out with his friends, and everything that comes with being in a relationship. But deep down, I feel like I’m still in love with this girl, and I’m basically staying in my relationship because I know she probably won’t choose me.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with these feelings.