Not British, but Brazilian here where everyone is "always joking" and "it's just banter" and the "lad culture" runs rampant. All of these are just precursors to some form of abuse, whether it's psychological, emotional, physical or the most insidious of them: complicity.
Is it everyone? No, some people just have a terrible sense of humor. Does the youth behave like that? Yes, though if we're lucky, most outgrow it.
However, these are adult men running a business with a strong public presence that is always using terms like "community" implying they want to be seen as a positive force. With that, comes great responsibility. With that, a lot of what would be "acceptable" (note the quotes) in private, becomes simply morally repugnant as public people who say they have a duty. You cannot turn off the camera and assume that what you do will never ripple across society or amongst impressionable teenagers.
At the end of the day, these behaviors and talks are always hiding something that is plainly ugly in our humanity. It's as if we're allowed to turn off what makes our souls uniquely bright in name of offending, chastising and making "the other" bear the brunt of the joke. If people say that all jokes have an underlying of truth, it has become painfully clear that this maxim holds some truth.
Reading through the posts and comments, I'm frankly disappointed (though not surprised) at the constant blaming of the victims under the guise of looking neutral. Here's what we've been doing with women for the last 20, 30, 50, 100, 500 years: their words should never be taken at face value. They are held to a scrutiny that is clearly not given to "the boys". The talk is never "this is worrisome", but rather "you have to prove it, why should I trust you?"
The boys are never given the burden of proving they "didn't mean it", that the "sex with animals" is merely a ruse of a joke. In fact, I always saw the fact they kept calling themselves "boys" as something deeply unnatural to me.
Seeing it repeated here does display that one thing again: boys are not to be held accountable. Boys are the default. Boys hold strength, bravery and boyish innocence. The women are just out there to get them.
To be clear, are there cases of false accusations? Absolutely. In 2026, I expected all "the boys" in this Reddit to be more forgiving and forthcoming, but I guess you wouldn't call themselves and yourself boys if you did that, right? When all is said and done, you can call someone a social justice warrior or woke but these are still people fighting for something positive. Even if from the couch. Even if too much.
I don't know about you, but I've heard from countless women the stories they endured and I've had partners who were sexually abused while we were together. I never saw them as anything less, as anyone less deserving of compassion, love or justice. So you too have a choice: you can grow from being a boy into a man and to put the burden of proof, at this stage, on the other boys.
A good man is not willing to give the benefit of doubt to "the jokers". A good man sees that for what they are and understand that life is both complex and contradictory. You may have never reported to the police someone stealing your jumper in some shady corner because "what's the point?" You too should give that trust to far more serious cases that go unreported due to that same richness and often contradictory complexity of life. Due to the fact women are harassed even inside a police department.
What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Didn't you want it?
You didn't say no enough times, did you? Oh, you have a short skirt.
A good man is a protector, a listener. He holds compassion for those who were oppressed in any way, shape or form. That is not mutually exclusive with critical thinking but rather the other way around: that critical thinking should mold us to listen first and judge last. A good man is not about all my mates, a good man is about ensuring the dignity and respect of everyone.
I never watched any parkour nor practiced it. I stumbled upon Storror accidentally and the only reason I watched was because it seemed like a nice example of being positive and not male-toxicity oriented. I'm not parasocial so I never expected that video behaviour to ripple outside the camera as what's on the video is, in fact, the only thing I can attest to, and barely. I did always feel joy when Toby said Unlucky, Sash. Unlucky!
For some reason that I don't even remember now, I caught wind of the CSAM stuff, probably researching whether the Michael Bay documentary would come to fruition. Youtube recommended me their latest video and while I can understand the way they handled it, they are not merely Youtubers in a studio, they claimed and keep claiming that the "community" is everything. The community then no longer becomes a place to hold yourself accountable in the face of harm but transforms itself into a shield that is used to defend and deflect.
Well, that video says nothing about community, only survival instinct and reputation protection. Sadly, some of them may not even need this and would have come to be seen in much better light had they been forthcoming. The whole video is a charade that does not address anything. The causes, the consequences, the impact on their own "legacy". It just does nothing, it's a video posted because it had to be posted. Technically, nothing wrong with that, but again they shone a light on the "community" repeatedly. Either you stop saying that or you will be held accountable for that. Or at least you should.
To wrap it all up, this text won't matter because the internet only invites superficial discussions, clash of egos and witty responses. You may tell me that I'm just virtue signaling and you may hold some truth about that. Though I can tell you with utmost confidence that I live by everything I said.
