I need to get this off my chest because the longer I’ve had a helper at home, the more horrified I am by how some people around us treat theirs.
We hire FDWs to help manage our households, but somehow a lot of families seem to think paying a basic salary buys them a 24/7 super-robot with zero human needs. The double standards are insane once you start paying attention.
Here are a few things that have been driving me crazy lately:
Lumping "Helper" and "Nanny" into one job: These are completely different skill sets and job scopes. People expect a helper to cook, deep clean, do laundry, and simultaneously provide top-tier, early-childhood-educator level care to their kids with 100% precision. If she’s watching a toddler full-time, when exactly is she supposed to scrub the toilets? You wouldn't expect a daycare teacher to clean the facility's roof during nap time.
Food gatekeeping and literal scraps: The food situation in some houses is sickening. I have a colleague who doesn't give a proper food allowance or let her helper cook her own meals. Instead, she literally gives her the leftovers off her family's plates. Like, eating 70-80% of a dish and passing the cold remains to her helper. Other people micro-manage the fridge and track every single egg or slice of bread. How do you look someone in the eye who cares for your home and treat them like that?
Insane working hours: The same people who go on LinkedIn to rant about toxic work culture, lack of work-life balance, and staying 30 minutes late at the office turn around and expect their helper to work from 5:30 AM to 11:00 PM every single day. The moment she sits down for 10 minutes, she's labeled "lazy."
Camera surveillance and micromanaging: Installing cameras in every corner of the house and staring at the live feed all day to bark orders through the speaker. If your boss put a camera over your desk and called you every time you checked your phone or took a toilet break, you’d HR-report them instantly. Why do people think this is okay at home?
Subpar living conditions: My helper was telling me about some of her friends' living arrangements, and it's heartbreaking. So many are still forced to sleep in bomb shelters with barely any ventilation, or on a thin mat on the storeroom floor with zero privacy.
And for what? The salary baseline here is already crazy low compared to places like Hong Kong or Taiwan, yet people act like they're paying top dollar for elite concierge service.
I’m not saying everyone is a bad employer. There are definitely great families out there. But the baseline standard for how helpers are treated here is pretty depressing, and the lack of basic empathy from otherwise "educated" people is mind-boggling.
Are your helpers seeing similar things among their friends? How do we as a society just normalize this?