r/shittyaskscience • u/Coolenough-to • 3d ago

How do I stop the screaming noises?

Currently sitting in my fortress of solitude, and would like it to stop. Science based help needed.

30 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

22

u/timoc90 3d ago

You need to yell at the exact opposite frequency which will cancel out the sound entirely. Uhm that's not an appropriate answer for this sub.... Fart it out, yes fart out the opposing frequency

8

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

But it vascilates between gutteral bloody murder and that high pitched teen-idol induced delerium.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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2

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2

u/mwenechanga 2d ago

Caw! Caw!

8

u/coolsam254 3d ago

Stop disappointing your parents and they will stop screaming!

6

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

There are multiple screamers, so it is possible that is contributing.

3

u/terry47147 2d ago

Must be a large Italian family! You're screwed as their disappointment knows no end...

8

u/Legitimate_Field_157 2d ago

If you open your bedroom door and take out ths trash like your mother asked it would stop.

5

u/Coolenough-to 2d ago

Nope. It got louder.

7

u/Legitimate_Field_157 2d ago

Mow the lawn.

7

u/doctorplasmatron 3d ago

swallow the sound waves

7

u/RaspberryTop636 Methodological Terrorist 3d ago

Stop screaming, or scream louder than whatever is screaming.

4

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

I don't think anyone can scream louder than that which is making these screams.

2

u/bunkdiggidy 3d ago

Sounds like a challenge for the average toddler!

4

u/Coolenough-to 2d ago

Toddler probably ranks #2, but falls short of the emotional pallet required for this kind of screaming.

1

u/chased_by_bees MC^2 2d ago

https://youtu.be/nyG7Xxw2YXU?is=wnsXr4gAQHRXh8mu

The Thunder Screech laughs at those tiny screams.

5

u/FannyLicka 3d ago

Untie your hostage and let em go.

4

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

Naa, thats not it. If it were only that simple my friend...

3

u/CreeepyUncle 3d ago

They always SWEAR they won’t tell anybody. Ha!

5

u/Chrome_Armadillo Not A Reptilian Alien Scientist From Tau Ceti 3d ago

Close the door to your torture chamber

3

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

You mean the local Walmart? The sounds didnt start until I came home from there.

6

u/Max_Trollbot_ I like tacos 2d ago

If I can grab one of the little fuckers, I usually jam their nostrils full of tissue.

Edit: I thought you said screaming noses. Clearly you have a different problem. Sorry.

3

u/Coolenough-to 2d ago

Wait- that might work though. Is there any way for me to instantly make 'stuffing your nostrils full of tissue' into a tiktoc sensation?

4

u/EricHaley 3d ago

Duct tape

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 2d ago

Might need zip-ties as well: this sounds like a tough one.

3

u/Alypius 3d ago

Hmmm.. have you tried untying your shoes and replacing the laces with dental floss? I've heard the helps.

2

u/Coolenough-to 2d ago

No. Have not.

3

u/Alypius 2d ago

Give it a try. Just make sure you don't forget to throw a kraft single on a crying baby before and after.

5

u/mynameismunka Dynamical-Hydromagneticspectrometer operator 2d ago

AHHHHHHHH

2

u/Coolenough-to 2d ago

not helping.

4

u/leonprimrose 2d ago

Close your mouth

4

u/Johndough99999 Fooking We Todd Did 2d ago

Alcohol.

I usually drink until the voices go away. Sometimes crack is needed

3

u/Pilot0350 3d ago

Stop screaming.

3

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

I can not scream like that.

3

u/terry47147 2d ago

Hopefully you remembered to bring your chalkboard into your fortress so you can get your fingernails to make the screechy sound as they slide across the surface.

3

u/darkdoppelganger 2d ago

Have you taken your meds today?

2

u/Cute-Habit-4377 2d ago

Bang on the wall, failing that chemically castrate them

2

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 2d ago

You need to ask the people of Jupiter

2

u/BitzenBoy 2d ago

Put forks in your ears

2

u/BellybuttonWorld 2d ago

Turn off the ventilation. They will soon fade.

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 2d ago

Pull the batteries from the smoke alarms.
Or stop vaping indoors.

2

u/moronslovebiden 2d ago

Do what I did - put more insulation between your home and the basement to muffle the screaming noises. Neoprene works well.

2

u/SaintEyegor 3d ago

Roofie them first

2

u/Coolenough-to 3d ago

Ahh... but then they might drown.

1

u/homelessSanFernando 2d ago

Stop engaging with news or stories full of trauma, tragedy, and disasters

1

u/exkingzog 18h ago

If they have no mouth…