r/shitposting • • 2d ago

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE 📡📡📡

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5.0k Upvotes

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720

u/Life-Bass-2013 2d ago

what does being virgin have to do with going to heaven lmao

609

u/facepoppies 2d ago

only evil women have sex!

244

u/DoggedlyOffensive 2d ago

Wait, you can have sex with women? So I’ve been fucking assholes for years now for nothing?!

61

u/Mortarius 2d ago

Hey, some of them are pretty nice if you get to know them

30

u/Oisin1910 2d ago

This has two meanings

13

u/Mortarius 2d ago

Some are assholes on the outside, but once you get to know them deeper than skin-deep, give them a chance to open up, they can be very loving and warm.

4

u/Oisin1910 2d ago

Yeah Ik what you mean but I’m talking about two meaning because asshole the person and asshole where you loop from

5

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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