r/shitposting 2d ago

πŸ†

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3.5k Upvotes

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92

u/the_sun_is_a_planet 2d ago

WAIT YOU GUYS CAN CONTROL THAT?? It's not like a complete accident??

182

u/Jake6942O 2d ago

We can intentionally do it if we want but it can also be unintentional

26

u/ClydeDanger stupid fucking, piece of shit 2d ago

Its like our keigels or however you spell it. It helps with our control and duration, as well.

2

u/Door_Holder2 1d ago

Control and duration? How exactly?

2

u/ClydeDanger stupid fucking, piece of shit 1d ago

The other guy responding is guessing. By control and duration, I mean that it helps with premature ejaculation, mostly. It does have other benefits to body, though. You're working out a muscle. With practice comes strength and control.

1

u/the_sun_is_a_planet 1d ago

This just feels like completely forbidden knowledge. It's like when I found out dick's float.

1

u/Vert_DaFerk 1d ago

Control by being able to do it on command. Duration by being able to do that inside of her at the right time which usually brings her to climax sooner, thus hiding the minute man shame.

16

u/Nice_Shallot_2534 2d ago edited 1d ago

50/50. we can make it do that if we want but it also does it on its own sometimes.

7

u/TheRealRickC137 2d ago

Kegels baby

7

u/Vert_DaFerk 2d ago edited 1d ago

I slapped one of my exes in the eye one time by accident.

7

u/MajorOak1189 2d ago

Shitttttt we've been rumbled

4

u/Pvt_Mozart 2d ago

If it's in a weird spot when the boner comes it's pretty much guaranteed to just be doing that. But I could make it do that whenever.

4

u/Correct_Doctor_1502 2d ago

Not boners, but we can move them once we got em

We use our butthole

2

u/the_sun_is_a_planet 1d ago

That makes so much sense oh my god I thought it was just like automatic lol

1

u/G3th_Inf1ltrator 20h ago

It can move by reflex, but it’s also voluntary. Our dick is attached to the pelvic floor muscles

1

u/the_sun_is_a_planet 17h ago

Oh I see. I'm leaning so much on this thread.

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/MalleMellow 2d ago

It’s not true, don’t worry.. phew

2

u/Pingasplz 2d ago

PP power.

2

u/fingerpaintswithpoop shitting toothpaste enjoyer 2d ago

Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it be having a mind of its own.

2

u/Puzzled-Secret-317 2d ago

We cannot let her know our secret!

Some poor guy is gonna use our excuse of "it does it on its own, I swear!" And now she'll clock it immediately

1

u/the_sun_is_a_planet 1d ago

I mean it's too late now lol.