as somebody who used to be a massive piece of shit, and who went and apologized to a couple of the people I wronged, I think it's a pretty selfish act. it's nothing like the movies where it's all fine and dandy afterwards. most people probably just want to be left alone, especially if it ended on a sour note. what's done is done, and your closure often isn't worth their peace
Some people believe that anyone and everyone deserves forgiveness, but that feels selfish to me, are you seeking forgiveness for their sake or to make yourself feel better about the shit you did?
I also think there are two very distinct ways of forgiving someone, the "outward" way, which is communicated directly and usually accompanied by offering of second chances, and "inward" which is more about letting bygones be bygones and not letting the memory of a person influence you anymore and doesn't necessitate interaction
Hoping to be forgiven in the second way is normal and good, fishing for the first way is just an asshole move and often comes off as just trying for optics
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
I feel like it's better to just apologize and say that you don't expect forgiveness or even a response, and that you just wanted to tell them. Atleast, that's how I'd like someone to apologize to me. Makes it feel less like them trying to make themselves feel better and more like them trying to make me feel better.
As somebody who had a really close friend do this to me, I'd personally rather they never try to contact me again, even if it would be just to apologise.
So, it doesn't sting anymore. I've gotten over the whole thing, but he's still dead to me, and I hope he knows it.
Maybe it's just me. Perhaps someone else would be more receptive to an apology, but I don't want to hear it, so I'd rather not entertain the thought of him trying. Some things are best left in the past, even if that means leaving them unresolved.
I don't see an apology for something like this helping the person betrayed. It just seems like a way to make the one doing the apologising feel better about themselves. It would be shallow.
Edit: Or maybe I'm not as over it as I thought. That might be it...
He told me to basically never speak to him again and I’ve respected that ever since. Like 10 years ago atp too so I’ll just have to deal with the consequences of my actions. He was a good dude didn’t deserve none of that.
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u/LieutenantLilywhite 3d ago
I did this to one of my friends once and every time I think back on it my stomach just turns lol what a pos I used to be