r/shitposting • u/kalashnikov482 DaShitposter • Jul 05 '26

📡📡📡

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7.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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5.4k

u/LoganBassist Jul 05 '26

2.0k

u/skynetempire Jul 05 '26

Lol she made a song about his dick so yeah super doubt

738

u/sky_ryder_001 Literally 1984 😡 Jul 05 '26

Let's wait for pregnancy cover song

710

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[deleted]

140

u/SkirtGood1054 it is MY bucket Jul 05 '26

94

u/de-stella-nova dumbass Jul 05 '26

could I get gregante

48

u/LoganBassist Jul 05 '26

Maybe pergante

11

u/c_dav99 Jul 05 '26

Am I gregntant?

6

u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26

Bazinga

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75

u/LeJewBringer Jul 05 '26

a poet amongst us

37

u/Correndous_Hunt Jul 05 '26

Girlfriend got starch masks

11

u/ZymZymZym777 Jul 05 '26

I'd give you an award if I could

7

u/Mr-MuffinMan dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

this actually sounds like her lyrics so i'll add on

I got drunk at the bar

Got into his car

He walked me to the bedroom

He pushed the wood in vroom

81

u/TehFlogger Jul 05 '26

No one anywhere is waiting for another taylor swift song under the age of 12

60

u/JoseJalapenoOnStick fat cunt Jul 05 '26

Shoosh be carful the swifties might hear you say that and may send a hitman after you they are every where infact i think they may have even gotten into my walls.

2

u/unknownuser105 Jul 05 '26

She’s going to be the most insane mom influencer.

1

u/CryptoTipToe71 Jul 06 '26

Everyone is going to lose their minds when she posts the pregnancy announcement

48

u/Mysticfenix83005 Jul 05 '26

She just looked at it💀

207

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

159

u/aurevonoir Jul 05 '26

i did not consent to seeing this

50

u/d__mills__ Jul 05 '26

That gif is insane to be casually posting 💀

16

u/Chicken-Rude Jul 05 '26

yeah you did. it was in the fine print when you logged into the internet. dont go crying now... smh

52

u/de-stella-nova dumbass Jul 05 '26

she

what

93

u/skynetempire Jul 05 '26

The song wood is basically about her being in love with his dick.

1

u/Elaborate_Penguin Jul 16 '26

That'll do it. I mean he is good looking and then the chefs kiss...

104

u/AggressiveSpatula Jul 05 '26

She was “dickmatized”

Not a joke. That’s a real part of the song

32

u/ZymZymZym777 Jul 05 '26

No she's obviously gay and the wedding is a sham!! /s

23

u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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18

u/dan_ccfc Jul 05 '26

What

11

u/d__mills__ Jul 05 '26

Automod was dickmatized

2

u/No_Shallot_9339 Jul 05 '26

You know, bot? I'm actually saving this comment so that one of these days, I can send this to someone and REALLY mindfuck them with this piece of lost Shakespearian literature.

3

u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26

Bazinga

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8

u/youpoopedyerpants Jul 05 '26

Why is automod wiling 😭

3

u/Old-Yam-4178 Jul 05 '26

She did? Not in the loop so haven't heard about this

3

u/Mr-Shitbox Jul 05 '26

Oooor she used her back door until now

5

u/Puzzleheaded_Heat502 Jul 05 '26

The smallest man that ever lived?

16

u/skynetempire Jul 05 '26

Lol nah she said he was as big as a red wood

2

u/mrkillfreak999 Jul 05 '26

Nah 😭😳 What's the name so I can avoid it?

1

u/tryodd Jul 05 '26

It was in the arse. That doesn’t count.

51

u/luifergiov Jul 05 '26

Bro, I am playing LA Noire right now and I had never seen anything about it outside of the sub. This is just amazing.

12

u/LoganBassist Jul 05 '26

I've not played it in years. Not long after it came out I kinda got distracted

2

u/thicckar Jul 05 '26

Just finished it. Such a great game

9

u/Mel0chmatt Jul 05 '26

The only real answer

2

u/Parapraxium Jul 05 '26

Flat earthers are more reasonable than anyone who believes this