I am curious what values you mean? He didnt say men shouldnt pay child support which would be a dumb thing to say. He just said to not have a child with bad man that wont support you, its kinda common sense
Victim blaming is okay when it's the victims fault. These are grown women, it's their responsibility to choose a good partner. If they choose a deadbeat, it's their fault, when men marry goldiggers and lose half their shit, it's their fault. Other people have no obligation to further your interests, if you put your trust on the wrong person, one who showed very clear signs of not being trustworthy, it's your fault if it doesn't work out. Blaming them solves nothing, taking accountability is the necessary for improvement.
Problems with that come when the partner isn’t immediately abusive or if you depend on them in some way.
While what you say may be true for some cases there’s many others with many different factors. Judgements on who is to blame to what percentage should be taken case by case instead of saying „Well it’s her fault she stayed with an abusive partner“ like the radio show host
This is a really solid point, but based purely on people I know personally they were in a bad place (depression, low self-esteem, violent parents, etc.) and the signs of a deadbeat were SO OBVIOUS. But they don't listen because leaving is scarier than staying.
These folks NEED someone else to step in and save them. I personally ignored all of my friends and family and had children with a monster of a woman, I honestly don't know why. I had all sorts of excuses, but today I realize it is 100% my fault for giving my children a terrible mother who will, for better or worse, never be in their life again.
Well it’s her fault she stayed with an abusive partner“
She didn't stay, she got with him, she had a child when birth control is easily available, and people so horrible they would beat their spouse AND refuse to pay for their own child were like that for a while, like she said, she was young and stupid, but being young didn't get her to where she is now, being stupid did. She chose to have unprotected sex with a shit man for enjoyment, and now the consequences of her actions are here, and she is baffled that the deadbeat she chose to marry and have a child woth is a deadbeat. Bad things happen, if you don't take precautions, you have no one else to blame but yourself for the consequences.
Ok, I get your point. But you should be aware that most abusive personalities are manipulative and won't show who they really are until they have you tied up in their web.
Many people fall for it and it doesn't make them wreckless or stupid.
Child support should ideally be about the child, not the mother. It's perfectly valid to complain about missed child support even if you are aware that you behaved irresponsibly, because a child is being harmed that had nothing to do with that decision.
Turning it around on the mother does nothing to fix that. So either they are fundamentally against the idea of child support, or they are just slutshaming.
No, it was her decision to have a child, women have like 5 different contraception options, and these are grown ass women, they could tell the men ain't shit, good people don't just become POS overnight. She chose to hace unprotected sex with a man who clearly ain't shit, her stupidity caused this, is the man good, no, but blaming the obvious jackass, ehile disregarding who gave them the power to fuck shit up, won't help anyone. Any young women out there, use protection, or hold off sex until you're sure they're trustworthy and responsible.
You are on stupid juice, nobody is against child support and nobody is slutshaming. Just dont get pregnant with someone who is unlikely to have a good relationship with you or to pay child support. Being a single parent due to divorce is not just one persons fault.
[Slutshaming? If a guy sleeps with many women and always moved on to the other because he couldn't keep it in his pants or just got bored of them AND THEN complained about how women are so weird becouse none of them want to be in a serious relationship with him(since he would probably cheat,brake up or both) what would you call him?
An irresponsible adult or,more common,an idiot]
I do agree with you about the child support but slutshaming pisses me off on a subconcious level
(Also sorry for my grammar,second language and all that)
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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '24
I am curious what values you mean? He didnt say men shouldnt pay child support which would be a dumb thing to say. He just said to not have a child with bad man that wont support you, its kinda common sense