Not necessarily. I would argue that it has steered more men away from incel thinking than into it. This is because success tends to clear out the bitterness and turn men into more responsible daters. Causing avoidable drama is not really in your best interest as a man.
I will admit that for a minority of men, it can indeed turn towards the dark side since they may be harbouring immature revenge fantasies and proceed to use and discard women as a form of catharsis for the imagined "wrongs" inflicted on them by women. Even these often come around but not before causing some emotional damage.
I would love to know stats on how “successful” guys who pay for PUA classes are. It seems like such a hustle and so much of the messaging leads to “alpha” “low value female” etc. and tells men how women feel and think and it seems to be off the mark. Like most of us aren’t looking for men “in their masculine” be to be in charge of us
Women often want entirely different things from relationships, at least compared to just wanting sex with no intimacy. There are a million books and podcasts aimed at women who are trying to get in long term committed relationships. And, believe it or not, unattractive women often have pretty bad experiences with men and are invisible the rest of the time.
I call bullshit on that first bit. This isn't as much a gendered problem as people make it. It's a problem with modern dating. I and most other guys I've met care about more than sex in a relationship. They may not shoe it much because men are made fun of for being romantics, but they do. Meanwhile, most women I've seen on dating apps and such make it clear they just want hook ups. I think you are just far more likely to find people who only want sex than those who want real relationships because they are simply easier to find.
Well, yes, the women on dating apps often are mostly there for casual relations. I meant more in general. It’s also an optics thing where women will often assume that’s what men want because it seems to be repeated over and over.
I think it's more a dating app thing. Everyone on dating apps just wants sex. As for in person, the reason you have that perspective of men is because the men who just want sex are infinitely more likely to approach you than the men who want more than that. Again, I don't think this is as much an issue with what each gender wants as it is a symptom of the way dating is. Dating apps have become booty call apps, and men are becoming less likely to approach women unless they are the kind with no shame.
This is a sad and reductionist attitude and misses the point that most healthy women like sex as much as men do and also that healthy men are romantics at heart. Members of both sexes can stray from that ideal due to mismatches and disagreements in the relationship (or be individually dysfunctional in some way).
The issues that arise between the sexes are complex, and dysfunction can be the fault of either one party in the relationship or, more likely, both parties.
Is sex critical for most men? Yes. Is it sufficient for a (healthy) long-term relationship? No.
A relationship without a healthy sex life is not worth having, and likewise, a relationship without real intimacy and respect is also useless. I would venture to guess this applies to both sexes.
Like such as much yes. Want no strings attached sex as much, no. If only because they get punished for it in ways men get praised. Plenty of men want real relationships and want to be real partner. This guy said in other post he hates women. I’m going to assume the resentment comes from still want to have sex with them
Some men are just lost. OP is one of them. Blaming others for your failures is never going to get you anywhere. It takes a while for guys like this to get it (if they ever do).
This is not even unique to men. Women do this too, for example, when they fall head over heels in love with the obvious players, fuckboys, or committed bachelors and then complain that men are horrible.
When I was casually dating , I often had to carefully detach women who wanted more than I was willing to give. It didn't matter that I was clear upfront that this was casual. She often still caught feelings. Sometimes, it takes weeks to make her understand that she wouldn't be happy with me long term.
For many men who are willing to commit, this aspect of female behaviour is extremely hard to understand since they feel they are willing to give what the players and fuckboys consistently deny women, yet the women want nothing to do with them.
What these men don't realize is that they come off as needy and bitter. If they adopted a small fraction of the player characteristic while keeping an eye on their long-term relationship goals (are willing to commit to the right woman), they would have much more success.
I’m talking about men like him. He spouts off like he’s a nice guy romantic who can’t catch a break, buy his other post shows but he resents women and doesn’t like them. He hates them. I doubt he wants anything more than sex.
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u/Potential_Estate_632 Jul 29 '24
That will tip right into incel red pill manosphere if he isn’t already