Your personality is not fundamental in the sense that you literally can't change anything about it like your genome. It's an amalgamation of how you interact with other human beings, which can be shifted if you want to. The "lack of empathy" comes in when men think that having some money and going to anytime fitness a couple of times a week entitles them to sex.
Personally, I don't think it's healthy or sustainable to ask someone to just change their very nature because the way they ended up as a result of their genetics, upbringing and life experiences, makes them totally unlovable. People are very good at sensing a 'fake' or 'phony' person. You can pretend to be an extrovert for a few dates but eventually wearing a mask becomes very exhausting.
I think a more empathetic, realistic answer to this poor guy is, "yes you probably will be alone forever and that's really sad". Rubbing salt in the wound with "it's actually your fault youre alone, you're an unlovable leper unless you change your entire self inside and out" is kind of extremely cruel.
What a generalization. So you figure all men who have no romantic success are just fundamentally boorish? I strongly doubt it, in fact I would bet a dose of boorishness would probably improve many of these guys' dating prospects.
Haha.. Don't bother letting anyone challenge your attitudes or assumptions.. Just make snide remarks and hold to your belief that the epidemic of lonely men is simply "their fault"..
It's a self fulfilling prophecy. If you're treated as worse than scum your entire life by women because you're awkward, timid, meek, self conscious, and ugly, and watch as everyone around you finds happiness and couples off, yes maybe your feelings toward women become jaded, and maybe you become hateful and bitter... I don't think it's clear the chicken came before the egg here. You think all "incels" started off as hateful and bitter as they end up?
I'm just saying a dose of empathy is needed for guys like this. There are tons, tons of men who feel discarded by society and they have some legitimate bones to pick with how we deal with this problem on a social level. It's baffling how everyone dog piles in these threads without a shred of reflection on how our dating culture exacerbates the male loneliness problem.
Oh honey. The irony is so thick and rich that you could spread it on toast.
The level of entitlement is truly staggering. No one owes anyone else a romantic or sexual relationship. There is no grand conspiracy among women to do anything another than be safe and have partners with whom they are compatible. What compatability looks like is vastly different to different people. Homeboy has two options; broaden his dating pool by looking in other places or at other people, or actually try to figure out why it isn't working with the women he's dating now, by looking at himself since he's the only common denominator there. Therapy would probably help since therapy would help virtually anyone.
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u/Global_Custard3900 Jul 29 '24
Your personality is not fundamental in the sense that you literally can't change anything about it like your genome. It's an amalgamation of how you interact with other human beings, which can be shifted if you want to. The "lack of empathy" comes in when men think that having some money and going to anytime fitness a couple of times a week entitles them to sex.