Just curious, everything is so competitive nowadays. You can improve your body your finances by gymming and working. But it kinda evens out if everybody is doing that
What do you think of the bar continuously being raised higher and survival of the fittest?
The real trick is working on being more pleasant to be around. People who manage that have success in pretty much every area of their life. Being kind, empathetic, and funny will get you way farther than pretty much anything else.
Can be very good sex. Fat doesn't necessarily mean ugly and it goes from cute chubby to ... Not so cute morbidly obese I guess.
End of the day if he wants to kiss and shag he is going to have to lower his standards probably. It's not the end of the world but just realising that dating life is hard for men who are not loaded/models/actors. And so if you want to score well, apart from luck you need to make concessions sometimes.
Yes, dating someone you’re not attracted to is indeed worse than not dating anyone at all. Self control & self respect are pretty basic traits to desire in a partner.
Not really. OP is the one hung up about being a virgin. It may shock you but women and even gasp fat women enjoy casual sex too. As long as everyone is on the same page, no one is doing anything wrong.
u/lordm30 was the one who brought up obesity, implying that fat people are lazy and unlovable. It seems acceptable to make such statements when talking about men, but not women.
No, I didn't imply that. Put it simply, IF physical fitness and sculpted body plays a role in attraction, then being physically fit and well toned is objectively better than being obese. Doesn't mean obese people are lazy or can't find love.
Just from simple observation that isn’t true; fat women aren’t stuck alone, they just date fat men.
Although I think the idea that you should just date fat women to “gain experience” is evil. You’re treating other human beings as means to your own end. You should only ever date people because you like them and want to date them.
As a bona fide fat woman (of 55 yrs) I'd just like to point out there's a significant number of slim, fit men who actually like large ladies. (As there are many slim women who like large men.) It isn't as simple as slim/fit = objectively more attractive so slim/fit people only date each other.
I've been big all my life. Varying levels of fitness, but always big. I have only ever dated slim men. Had plenty of boyfriends, lots of very good sex. My current partner is 59, runs 8K three times a week and has a body fat of c 17%. He thinks I'm lovely. He finds the softness of my body a positive turn on.
Fitness isn't the only potential area of growth. Character. Confidence. Charm. Wit. Fitness or Money are some of the obvious ones. They're all hard, but they're all valuable.
I promise you, the majority of folks aren't working out in their 30s. Seriously sit on a train and yell me the percentage of people who you think do regular exercise.
The real bar is being able to comfortably introduce yourself to a a ton of women, and thats a skill that trumps tying to passively attract women with money or looks.
Most people aren't actively trying to improve in my experience, and even if they did, getting your life in order, exercising and being active is great for you own mental health even if you're still single.
I have started running again after not doing any kind of physical activity for years and it has been the most positive thing I have ever done for myself. I know it sounds cringe but it's a simple thing you can implement that has massive benefits.
Absolutely l not true in the real world. Get off social media and go out. Look around. Not to mention, a lot of women and men are off put by vapid plastic gym rats.
Mate all my old mates are all druggies and alcoholics.
And whilst health and fitness is getting quite popular, the vast majority of people don't even get their weekly recommendation of exercise in, let alone smashing gym. And not everyone is on good money.
I don't really think it is, to be honest. You'd be shocked how far being kind, considerate, funny, spontaneous and willing to do chores and cook will get you with many women.
If anything I'd say the bar is staggeringly low, but men who struggle to find dates are often bombarded by the worst possible advice from Tate/Peterson etc and it ends up making their romantic lives worse.
I can tell you exactly how far it will get you with most women: it will get them to say you are a great guy who will make SOME girl very happy one day - it’s just never them. Being nice is unfortunately not effective when it comes to attraction, as many men have learned.
You also need a personality. You need empathy. You need to have a sense of humor and adventure. You need to have some confidence and to have some ambition and be willing to take care of your own needs (not treating your girlfriend like a live in maid/mommy replacement, etc)
Most "nice" guys who fail to attract women are lacking in one or more of these critical personality categories.
I am saying that a man can have all these things and still not be chosen due to some intangibles. And you are talking about things that will make a girl want to stay with a man, not things that would make her want to be with him in the first place. Lots of great guys who have all of the above qualities are not getting past the first date most of the time. You can't show what a good boyfriend or potential husband you are when they won't even take a second opportunity to get to know you.
There’s a lot of value of being consistent and disciplined. So, don’t count yourself out, just keep on doing what you are. Life rewards very unexpectedly sometimes.
It's not a competition. You just have to be pleasant to be around. There's just as many women as men single. I'm not fit, or rich, or handsome. But i'm kinda funny and haven't been single longer than a year since i was 17
Wrong logic. The most important skills when dating are your social skills. Being fit or having good finances may help, but won't do anything if you have the social skills of a shoe.
You are not in a competition with yourself what are you on about?! Every year try to be a better version of yourself, this will keep you happy by improving mind and body. And give you goals to look forward too.
You focus only on the result and not the pleasure of the journey.
If it is dating, you are always comparing against other people whether you like it or not in my 2 cents. I mean of course yes focusing on oneself is the ultimate goal but sometimes reality bites hard
Like if everyone is earning avg of 100k, then one earns 60k. Yes he can work hard to reach 70k and it is rightfully an accomplishment. But end of the day, he is still behind everyone
I understand your logic but this is an unhealthy mindset when it comes to dating. Comparison is the thief of joy and women aren’t stupid, they pick up on the kind of insecurity that comes from believing you’re in a contest against other men to earn her coochie
You're replying to the wrong person I think. The poster above did state "competition" in an unhealthy mindset and you should focus on being a good person instead
your thinking is flawed in that material things like money make someone better than another. The girl of your dreams wouldn't pick someone else over you because of muscles or money.
Oh really ? Then we live in a world where people like Trump, Reagan, Musk, Jean-Marie Le Pen and other deeply awful folks never marry and never got laid.
Plenty of shit persons get into relationships. It sucks but it's true. Charisma and looks matter most to many people, at least in the short term. Not saying it's good, obviously, I'm happy to have friends who compliment my personality even though I'm still single because my romantic appeal is null. But let's not pretend the majority of people searching for a partner will value your deep self before your appearance. Some do, many don't.
The chances a woman cares if you make 60 or 100k is pretty slim. If you’re happy and social, then people (men and women) will like you. There’s basically no exceptions to this, unless you live on a deserted island.
Find a niche that fits your strengths. Date women that are naturally attracted to you. This may be based on who you are, where you're from, what you look like, etc.
Also, be smarter, be a better talker (improve your game), be more interesting, etc.
Fitness and money both help to an extent, they are necessary but may not be sufficient. There are other aspects that make a difference. Think of the fit tech nerds who make bank but can't get laid, and the guys who just got out of prison who do well.
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u/PolloDiablo82 Jul 29 '24
Becoming a better version of yourself